Coming Out To My Parents

[Nice_Girly_Boy]

I was thinking about coming out to my parents about me being a crossdresser, but I am really afraid what will happen if I do. So I need advice.

[Wenda]

We will be honoured to give you advice, sweet thing, but it would help to know how old you are, do you still live at home, what age are your folks, do you have siblings? pets? religious convictions? the usual census questions.The little things that give us a foundation for what we are about to say.

[Billijo49504]

You might just find yourself out on your butt. Or they might accept you. It's a crap shoot. How lucky do you feel. JMHO...BJ

[Nice_Girly_Boy]

We will be honoured to give you advice, sweet thing, but it would help to know how old you are, do you still live at home, what age are your folks, do you have siblings? pets? religious convictions? the usual census questions.The little things that give us a foundation for what we are about to say.

Well i'm 24 and I live alone and am a only child. But I do want tell them that I prefer to dress and act like a woman. I just don't want them to hate me or be ashamed of me.

[Emma England]

Have you ever done anything in a subtle way?

Such as grow your hair longer, or wear makeup?

If your parents, would be negative with these small things, then you telling that you cd would be a bad thing.

[Mitch23]

No hard and fast rule here - depends on your situation and circumstances. I know 2 people that have done this in recent months and on balance, for them it has been a positive experience. They may have some idea already - parents can be pretty perceptive

Mitch

[Darlene-VA]

I came out to my parents and it was a shock to them, but they said you are our son and we still love you and if this makes you happy go ahead and enjoy your life who are we to hold you back. So for me it worked out and life goes on.

[Carol A]

In my case I didn't come out to my mother as she caught me when I was 14. After her shock and ah she sat me down and we had that talk, WHY. So a long story short it was the rest of our friends and family who had the problem. I would say at your age you are old enough to do as you please. :hugs:

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

That is a tough one to really answer since none of us are in your shoes. If your parents are accepting of variations it could be easy but if they are not accepting you may want to remain closeted in this situation. I know for me if I had things to do over from when I was in my early twenties I would now make the decision to dress full time, of course it's always easier to say that after the fact. Good luck with this. Be true to yourself and you will find the way thats best for you. I will say that surprises are never good so if you can control how people find out about this side of you then that is best.

[CharleyDC]

Like the advice of Emma - go slowly and test the waters - if you want to go faster than the time it will take to grow your hair out try getting your ears pierced - maybe having both done will stimulate a conversation - if it begins to go poorly you can back out with a statement like "All the guys are doing it." It might still leave a question but your parents would probably accept that explanation. Then when things cool a bit you might try something else like some discret eyeliner and this time give a an answer like "I think it helps my eyes stand out" In the meantime let your hair grow - evgentually they will talk to you but it will not be such a shock and it might go better if they discover it slowly.

Good Luck and be brave.

Charley

[Deborah Jane]

What are your parents like? Are they easy going or do they have strong opinions about this sort of thing? It may be an idea to find out in a discreet way, for example--tell them you saw a guy "dressed" and see how they react. If you get what you feel to be a positive reaction, maybe test the waters a little by saying something like--i,ve often wandered how it would feel, then take it from there! If you get a negative reaction then maybe you will have to reconsider coming out. Good luck!!:hugs: BTW i told my mum after my dad died, she,s ok with it, i don,t think my dad would have ever accepted it and i didn,t want to ruin a good relationship!!

[Wenda]

Some good suggestions here, Girly. When my ex-sister-in-law came out as gay to her parents after her second divorce, they were very stunned, but still accepted it, and they were staunch United Church WASP old-liners. As an only child, I know that you can have a lot of pressure on you. It's not just the coddling, spoiling upbringing that people stereotype us with. My kids are in your age group, so I imagine your parents are in mine, and were influenced by the sixties and seventies. As such, I wouldn't expect them to be overly negative.
As a parent, my main concern would be your health and safety, ie, not going out en femme and getting beaten up by a bunch of nazis, for example. They may not like it, it may worry them, but I doubt they will hate you.
They may have some inkling already. Their main question will likely be if this means you are gay. All the best, w. :thumbsup:

[Sinthia]

A lot of good suggestions and information has been put forth for you and only you know what your parenst are like. My suggestion would to get in a casual conversation about crossdressing, gays, alternate lifestyles, etc., with one, or both of your parents, and see what their feelings are. You may even be able to ask "What if I was gay, would you still love me as your son"? Then you should know what way to go. If they come on very negative, think inside the box.