TerryTerri
09-15-2007, 03:20 AM
Hello all,
I haven't logged on in a long time. I think in June was my last time. I was having gender identity issues and looking for answers. I was also exploring about hormones. Anyway, I am sorry I just sort of disappeared. I have been really busy and worked on average 70 hours a week, sometimes more and I have a 3, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 & 21 year old in addition to a wife.
Anyway, "in case you were wondering" here is what I have learned about myself and my gender issues. To make a long story short, without question I have some gender issues. However, they are minor and I believe (at this point in time anyway) that I am correctly in a man's body and plan on remaining this way. However, I think my gender identity issues give me more insight and undestanding of women than most guys possess so I'm sort of looking at it as a strength.
The reason I was having such strong issues before revolved around being in a situation were I was VERY emotionally sexually frustrated and somehow that brought on some pretty strong desire to beome a woman. How that happened I don't know. However, some 'things' happened to relieve my sexual frustrations and my strong desires subsided significantly. That pretty much nailed my questions about what happened. I'm still sort of unsure of the why. As usual my only answer to that is "why not'.
Anyway, I wish to sincerely thank all of you that cared enough to read and respond to me, especially GypsyKaren. I appreciate the feedback (and the 'scolding' about my stupid idea on hormones, your responces were dead on correct, although not what I wanted to hear at the time).
So, my life is going on, one busy day at a time. I still have some questions, I may or may not ever have answers for them. But, I have, with your help, been able to get honest with myself enough to know which side of the fence I stand on. I think I just have a foot on the other side of that fence that many men don't have. It's got to be a foot since I LOVE woman's shoes and am so jealous that they get to wear the high heels in public and such. I so do enjoy walking in heels and it is just so marvelous. And, I'd still love to have boobs!!! As I stated sometime in the past I can't remember a time since puberty that I didn't wish I had a nice pair of boobs.
However, our society is one which doesn't have a place for someone who is sort of in the middle. It would not be wise to get boobs and high heels and yet remain a man. So, I just admire the boobs and heels of women, in a sort of jealous way, and go about my life. Trudging one day at a time to a happy destiny.
Don't know if I'll come back here or not. But, I am grateful I came here. I've felt bad I have not been here to share this with you sooner and I thank you and whatever powers that be that have put the work into having this place here and I wish you all a very prosperous and happy journey on our quests to have the life you want to live.
Sincerely,
Terry!
PS. Of course I know that boobs and shoes aren't even enough to be called the tip of an iceberg where being a woman is conerned. The impotant female gender issues revolve around much more significant things. I was not trying to trivialize any of those things. Yes, I have emotional and self-image, self-talk and other female gender identity. But, I "fit" much more as a man than a woman. But, I sort of wish I society would allow an in-between that doesn't seem to exist.
I haven't logged on in a long time. I think in June was my last time. I was having gender identity issues and looking for answers. I was also exploring about hormones. Anyway, I am sorry I just sort of disappeared. I have been really busy and worked on average 70 hours a week, sometimes more and I have a 3, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 & 21 year old in addition to a wife.
Anyway, "in case you were wondering" here is what I have learned about myself and my gender issues. To make a long story short, without question I have some gender issues. However, they are minor and I believe (at this point in time anyway) that I am correctly in a man's body and plan on remaining this way. However, I think my gender identity issues give me more insight and undestanding of women than most guys possess so I'm sort of looking at it as a strength.
The reason I was having such strong issues before revolved around being in a situation were I was VERY emotionally sexually frustrated and somehow that brought on some pretty strong desire to beome a woman. How that happened I don't know. However, some 'things' happened to relieve my sexual frustrations and my strong desires subsided significantly. That pretty much nailed my questions about what happened. I'm still sort of unsure of the why. As usual my only answer to that is "why not'.
Anyway, I wish to sincerely thank all of you that cared enough to read and respond to me, especially GypsyKaren. I appreciate the feedback (and the 'scolding' about my stupid idea on hormones, your responces were dead on correct, although not what I wanted to hear at the time).
So, my life is going on, one busy day at a time. I still have some questions, I may or may not ever have answers for them. But, I have, with your help, been able to get honest with myself enough to know which side of the fence I stand on. I think I just have a foot on the other side of that fence that many men don't have. It's got to be a foot since I LOVE woman's shoes and am so jealous that they get to wear the high heels in public and such. I so do enjoy walking in heels and it is just so marvelous. And, I'd still love to have boobs!!! As I stated sometime in the past I can't remember a time since puberty that I didn't wish I had a nice pair of boobs.
However, our society is one which doesn't have a place for someone who is sort of in the middle. It would not be wise to get boobs and high heels and yet remain a man. So, I just admire the boobs and heels of women, in a sort of jealous way, and go about my life. Trudging one day at a time to a happy destiny.
Don't know if I'll come back here or not. But, I am grateful I came here. I've felt bad I have not been here to share this with you sooner and I thank you and whatever powers that be that have put the work into having this place here and I wish you all a very prosperous and happy journey on our quests to have the life you want to live.
Sincerely,
Terry!
PS. Of course I know that boobs and shoes aren't even enough to be called the tip of an iceberg where being a woman is conerned. The impotant female gender issues revolve around much more significant things. I was not trying to trivialize any of those things. Yes, I have emotional and self-image, self-talk and other female gender identity. But, I "fit" much more as a man than a woman. But, I sort of wish I society would allow an in-between that doesn't seem to exist.