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TerryTerri
09-15-2007, 03:20 AM
Hello all,
I haven't logged on in a long time. I think in June was my last time. I was having gender identity issues and looking for answers. I was also exploring about hormones. Anyway, I am sorry I just sort of disappeared. I have been really busy and worked on average 70 hours a week, sometimes more and I have a 3, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 & 21 year old in addition to a wife.
Anyway, "in case you were wondering" here is what I have learned about myself and my gender issues. To make a long story short, without question I have some gender issues. However, they are minor and I believe (at this point in time anyway) that I am correctly in a man's body and plan on remaining this way. However, I think my gender identity issues give me more insight and undestanding of women than most guys possess so I'm sort of looking at it as a strength.
The reason I was having such strong issues before revolved around being in a situation were I was VERY emotionally sexually frustrated and somehow that brought on some pretty strong desire to beome a woman. How that happened I don't know. However, some 'things' happened to relieve my sexual frustrations and my strong desires subsided significantly. That pretty much nailed my questions about what happened. I'm still sort of unsure of the why. As usual my only answer to that is "why not'.
Anyway, I wish to sincerely thank all of you that cared enough to read and respond to me, especially GypsyKaren. I appreciate the feedback (and the 'scolding' about my stupid idea on hormones, your responces were dead on correct, although not what I wanted to hear at the time).
So, my life is going on, one busy day at a time. I still have some questions, I may or may not ever have answers for them. But, I have, with your help, been able to get honest with myself enough to know which side of the fence I stand on. I think I just have a foot on the other side of that fence that many men don't have. It's got to be a foot since I LOVE woman's shoes and am so jealous that they get to wear the high heels in public and such. I so do enjoy walking in heels and it is just so marvelous. And, I'd still love to have boobs!!! As I stated sometime in the past I can't remember a time since puberty that I didn't wish I had a nice pair of boobs.
However, our society is one which doesn't have a place for someone who is sort of in the middle. It would not be wise to get boobs and high heels and yet remain a man. So, I just admire the boobs and heels of women, in a sort of jealous way, and go about my life. Trudging one day at a time to a happy destiny.
Don't know if I'll come back here or not. But, I am grateful I came here. I've felt bad I have not been here to share this with you sooner and I thank you and whatever powers that be that have put the work into having this place here and I wish you all a very prosperous and happy journey on our quests to have the life you want to live.
Sincerely,
Terry!
PS. Of course I know that boobs and shoes aren't even enough to be called the tip of an iceberg where being a woman is conerned. The impotant female gender issues revolve around much more significant things. I was not trying to trivialize any of those things. Yes, I have emotional and self-image, self-talk and other female gender identity. But, I "fit" much more as a man than a woman. But, I sort of wish I society would allow an in-between that doesn't seem to exist.

GypsyKaren
09-15-2007, 03:56 AM
Hi Terri

I thank you for your kind words, they're greatly appreciated. The key to success in life is being happy, it doesn't matter how you get there, and it sounds to me like you are, so I am happy too. Please remember that we are always here for you, and you can always drop in just to say hi, I'd like that very much...you take care.

Karen Starlene

melissaK
09-18-2007, 05:24 AM
Yeah, don't lose the forum link. It all ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Stay in touch regularly.

And, IMHO, be wary of overscheduling. It's often a way to 'put off' dealing with your own emotional needs. And most of us are quite glad to 'put off' our need to act in an, ahem, "less than universally accepted way." The more you put off, the more emotional baggage you will have accumulated and have to deal with in your own personal 'day of reckoning.' There's lots of stories of mental health breakdown moments in these forums traceable to such 'days of reckoning'.

hugs,
'lissa

suzy
09-19-2007, 05:48 AM
Hi Terry,

Wonderful discussion and sharing of your life and where you are at the moment. It really hit home for me as I am in that starnge place as well.

Where is the in-between? Why can't we be both, but at different times?

I'm still going to try!:D

Thanks for sharing your story.

bobi jean
09-19-2007, 11:51 AM
Hi Terry
My story exactly with the exception of the rug-rats, I only have two and they are both grown and gone. I think, I have come to realize, that there is "AN IN-BETWEEN" it is just within ourselves. each one of us crossdressers has it and I would venture to say that almost every transgender, transsexual, and/or anyother " labeled " lifestyle choice person, either has it or had it at one time or another. WAY TOO BAD WE CAN NOT (honestly and openly) SHARE IT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD. SO WE JUST DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR US AS INDIVIDUALS.
Stick around for a while, what do you have to loose?
and you may consider a little more time for your family too. 70 hours a week is a killer. especially if it is totaly by choice and not driven by necessity.
I feel for you honey, so what ever your decision, BE HEALTHY AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE "YOU" HAPPY.
Good luck to ya, and hopefully we'll be hearing from you once in a while.

geri
09-19-2007, 01:27 PM
terry,
nice to read your story. i'm a fence sitter too but i am waiting for that positive input from my transgendred friends and my therapist before i make a decision i might regret. as karen says, it got to be in the heart and if it is, you go for it all. i have the heart................
i asked my wife yesterday if she loves me as a person, both my mascline and femmine side and i did not get an answer. that says it all. the next time i have sex it will be with that special man.

geri danielle