Depressed and lost

[Satin_Lover_13]

Hi everyone. Nice to meet you.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Slippy, Please don't take this the wrong way, but if I were you I would seek out a very good therapist. What you describe is a serious problem with regard to self esteem. There are other issues here as well that cloud and blend into the picture. From what I read, you are not that old(assumption), don't give up!!!! There is someone out there for you, there really is but the timing is not right for whatever the reason.

:love: Mollyanne

[MsJanessa]

Hi Slippy, Please don't take this the wrong way, but if I were you I would seek out a very good therapist. What you describe is a serious problem with regard to self esteem. There are other issues here as well that cloud and blend into the picture. From what I read, you are not that old(assumption), don't give up!!!! There is someone out there for you, there really is but the timing is not right for whatever the reason.

:love: Mollyanne

I agree with Molly--you have to learn to accept and love yourself darling---then the coldness and hardness with go away

[Sheri 4242]

I agree with Mollyanne -- there is someone out there for you -- in fact, you'll probably find her when you expect it least!!! (IOW: don't try so hard -- give it time!!!)

I also agree that there are some disturbing issues of self-esteeem developing and you need to get professional help on this asap!!!! You may not believe this now, but if you find the right counselor and are open and honest with them, your life will improve 100-fold. Look for a counselor who is educated in and specializes in gender-related issues.

In the mean time: slow down, relax, and know that with time that special person will come along when you aren't even looking for her!!!! Don't settle for anything other than what matches who and what you are!!! Better to practice abstinance than participate in things that aren't you!!!

[Alice Torn]

Slippy, I can relate, as I have only been carressed by a lady once, and she just wanted sex, and I stopped short of it. She broke the friendship off. Other than one lady, in 1986, who showed interest, I am high and dry, too, and , have often felt like this is a cold, druel, loveless, crass, downer of a life, and world. But, I have not ended it all, despite coming close once. I go to singles dances, and dance, but seldom get to know a lady. I have made friends, with senior ladies, bit almost never have I had a real friendship, with a lady near my age!!! It aint fair!! Life aint fair. Therapists are very expensive, especially if you are low income, like me. I went several times, but had to stop-no money. This is a difficult time, to make friends, and especially women! It just should not be this damned difficult, for guys like us, to have lady friends!! Women are extremely picky, these days, yet, they seem to pick the wrong guys. If I were God, I would be very sadened, and upset, the way my humans, has screwed up everything. After 53 years of celibacy, rejection, pain, heartbreak, I know what i am talking about. Like you, my stash of clothes, have become the lady i put on. I would keep busy, stay on the forum, go to a place where singles are, though, that can be a bummer, too. Read helpful material, exercise. Take it one day at a time. That's what i have had to do, as it looks very unlikely, i will ever have a wife, or steady.Like in alcoholics anonymous, acceptance, is a big step, to serenity. It took years for us to get this way, and likely years, to really change, grow, in serenity, but, it is also a right now thing. I don't like my lonliness, but, It is where i am at, and i acept it, like it or not, and always hope, to better things, one day at a time, whether she comes into my life, or never does. At 53, she hasn't yet, for me, unless, i overlooked her. I have to look at myself honestly, and realize, I have not earned a decent living, for a lady, to desire me., despote me being a serving, honest, guy. Enough, sorry I rambled on so much. Pets help, too. Women are strange these days. What looks so nice, may not be so nice!

[MJ]

i agree to you need to talk with a good therapist . They can help you
all the best

[angelfire]

I'm still a virgin, only had one real girlfriend (didn't last too long, we just weren't meant for eachother, it was mutual). Got drunk and made out with a girl at a party twice (same girl) but when I asked her out later, she said not interested. Thats about the extent of my experience.

I'm sure there is someone out there for you, you just aren't looking in the right places.

[Jennaie]

Frankly, I think you need to get back to reality. Your taste are exquisite, but is that real life? Let's face it, most GG's are wearing blue jeans and t-shirts and want to be adored in them. Meet a girl that is nice and just talk to her. Don't expect her to dress to the nines nor be a goddess in lingerie or accept your crossdressing, those are very few and far between.

Yes, get some professional help, if nothing else, it will help you find out who you really are.

[Wenda]

There are correlations between dressing and depression. There are chat rooms dedicated to the topic. I have taken anti-depressants for years, and just can't tell if I am inclined to dress while drepressed or non-depressed. Depression is a diagnosable condition, as is diabetes or high blood pressure. It is also treatable. I have taken Zoloft for more than a decade.
Get a good doctor that you can talk to and who will acutally take some time for you. You seem to be more embattled than necessary. We are here for you!:thumbsup:W

[Satin_Lover_13]

This week I been wearing like crazy to relax and i been needing a soft caress next to me. Been very lonely. I wrote a poem tonight at work but I think it would not pass the post requirements so i will not try.



I'm still a virgin, only had one real girlfriend (didn't last too long, we just weren't meant for eachother, it was mutual). Got drunk and made out with a girl at a party twice (same girl) but when I asked her out later, she said not interested. Thats about the extent of my experience.

I'm sure there is someone out there for you, you just aren't looking in the right places.

Well if the choice was a real person or clothing I would need to bite the bullet and do my best without the soft stuff. I think once my emotional and sexual needs are met I will not need my soft clothing.



Frankly, I think you need to get back to reality. Your taste are exquisite, but is that real life? Let's face it, most GG's are wearing blue jeans and t-shirts and want to be adored in them. Meet a girl that is nice and just talk to her. Don't expect her to dress to the nines nor be a goddess in lingerie or accept your crossdressing, those are very few and far between.

Yes, get some professional help, if nothing else, it will help you find out who you really are.

Feel sad listening to your story because I can relate. :( :hugs:



Slippy, I can relate, as I have only been carressed by a lady once, and she just wanted sex, and I stopped short of it. She broke the friendship off. Other than one lady, in 1986, who showed interest, I am high and dry, too, and , have often felt like this is a cold, druel, loveless, crass, downer of a life, and world. But, I have not ended it all, despite coming close once. I go to singles dances, and dance, but seldom get to know a lady. I have made friends, with senior ladies, bit almost never have I had a real friendship, with a lady near my age!!! It aint fair!! Life aint fair. Therapists are very expensive, especially if you are low income, like me. I went several times, but had to stop-no money. This is a difficult time, to make friends, and especially women! It just should not be this damned difficult, for guys like us, to have lady friends!! Women are extremely picky, these days, yet, they seem to pick the wrong guys. If I were God, I would be very sadened, and upset, the way my humans, has screwed up everything. After 53 years of celibacy, rejection, pain, heartbreak, I know what i am talking about. Like you, my stash of clothes, have become the lady i put on. I would keep busy, stay on the forum, go to a place where singles are, though, that can be a bummer, too. Read helpful material, exercise. Take it one day at a time. That's what i have had to do, as it looks very unlikely, i will ever have a wife, or steady.Like in alcoholics anonymous, acceptance, is a big step, to serenity. It took years for us to get this way, and likely years, to really change, grow, in serenity, but, it is also a right now thing. I don't like my lonliness, but, It is where i am at, and i acept it, like it or not, and always hope, to better things, one day at a time, whether she comes into my life, or never does. At 53, she hasn't yet, for me, unless, i overlooked her. I have to look at myself honestly, and realize, I have not earned a decent living, for a lady, to desire me., despote me being a serving, honest, guy. Enough, sorry I rambled on so much. Pets help, too. Women are strange these days. What looks so nice, may not be so nice!

Thanks


Hi Slippy, Please don't take this the wrong way, but if I were you I would seek out a very good therapist. What you describe is a serious problem with regard to self esteem. There are other issues here as well that cloud and blend into the picture. From what I read, you are not that old(assumption), don't give up!!!! There is someone out there for you, there really is but the timing is not right for whatever the reason.

:love: Mollyanne

[angelfire]

There are correlations between dressing and depression. There are chat rooms dedicated to the topic. I have taken anti-depressants for years, and just can't tell if I am inclined to dress while drepressed or non-depressed. Depression is a diagnosable condition, as is diabetes or high blood pressure. It is also treatable. I have taken Zoloft for more than a decade.
Get a good doctor that you can talk to and who will acutally take some time for you. You seem to be more embattled than necessary. We are here for you!:thumbsup:W

Often times it is mis-diagnosed though, such as they think you are depressed when in fact you are not, or they just want to push pills. Make sure if you do see a professional, to see a good one.

[Alice Torn]

Sex is a powerful drive, but, unlike hunger, for food, and thirst for water, we can live without it, and be celibate, abstinant. Masturbation is the only safe sex, other than abstinance. I have dreamed of a right lady, for over 40 years, been denied, but, even if I had her, I would wait until marriage, to go all the way, with her. Dressing up, seeing that gorgeous broad in the mirror, and pretending, is all I do, for sex, or else, do something else, and at my age, threre is not much sexual drive. I admit, it is much tougher to deal with, at a young, virile age. Society, Hollywood, tell us, that everyone is doing it, that sex is everything. It is not! It is dangerous, explosive stuff, and only the mature, with common sense, should use it, in marriage, if possible. I admit, that I have never had much to offer a lady, still don't. Sex can backfire, on us, too! See where the lady is coming from, too. Just be a friend, who can listen too her, as well, as be attracted. Ladies feel used, when we only want sex, touching. I only want to tell you, that you don't have to have sex, with someone. It can be short lived great fun, but, comes with a kicker! Unexpected trouble, often follows, like pregnancies, legal action. Play it safe. Hugs, but no sex, unless masturbation. Just my opinion, from wisdom. Also, read Proverbs, and Ecclesisates, in your Bible. Big time wisdom!

[KatrinaAshley]

I understand where you're coming from, I've never had one either for a variety of reasons. Although a substantial difference is that I'm comfortable being by myself. I think the internet fills in for any need for social activity. You just need to learn to do things you enjoy to keep your spirits up. If it was meant to happen you'll succeed someday. If dressing is more of a problem than a relief, try taking a short break from it.

It's worked for me so far, although I'm probably only half as old as many of you.

[Wendy me]

wow sorry to hear your troubles .... like some have said don't try so hard to find that special person .... you might walk right past her and never notice her .... when out every day just treat every one the same and talk to them .... i am married so my dating days are gone ... lol .... but i meet a ton of women every time i go any were and it all starts the same with a hi or hello....

[trannie T]

Life can be hard. Sometimes it can become almost unbearable. There is also a lot of good in the world, and many good people who want to help you. Seek out the help of a counselor or therapist, it may be the nicest thing you can do for yourself.

[yingyang]

Depression is hard to deal with. I've been dealing with it for 20 years at least. It makes you want to withdraw to the night shift to be alone. But being alone is a big part of the problem.
Only other people can tell you that you're a worthwhile person. Online dating doesn't work because your so convinced that your not worth anything to anyone that you can't project a positive image.
I'm certainly no one to give advice. I take 4 different anti-depressants - all of which say not to consume alcohol, drink too much, get dressed and fall asleep that way.
But work puts me in contact with people who validate my worth, at least at my job.
And I have faith/hope that I won't always be alone.
You're certainly not alone in your delema.
Mary

[Alice Torn]

Slippy, When I was about 19, 0r 20, and still had not had a date, I felt, every weekend, alone, was the end of the world. I just could not see any hope. Well, at 53, and still alone, I have had to face reality, realize I have never had much to ofrer a good woman, and had so many personal issues, that, I could not be more than a friend, to any lady, though I sought romance, desperately. I also am on anti'depressents, also take lots of vitamins, and minerals, eat less sugar, exercise some, work. All i know, is life is not fair, there is lots of being alone, rejected, and misunderstood. But, when we get help, let go, and just live, it helps, whether she ever appears, or our ships never come in. One day a a time.

[KendallM2F86]

Slippy, I'm kind of agreeing with sum of the other girls about maybe u should seek sum help. But in the mean time, slow down a lil bit babe. First off, maybe u should meet a real female and just make a few really good friends. Try going to drag bars and meeting locals. Trust me, not every CDer at a drag club is in drag. I myself have met a few CD at those places who r just normal "females." Sum want a relationship, sum just friends. But either way, if u meet these kind of people, it will uplift all that pressure u're putting on urself sweetie. Just try it, no one judges u in a drag club. Who knows, maybe u just might meet sum1... Take care of urself.