Pink fog or pink boiler explosion?

[battybattybats]

I've been thinking about the notion of pink fog, where it might come from and what it might mean.

Some descriptions of it make it seem like a selfish self absorbtion but, at least in some cases I don't think that's right.

I'm pondering alternate analogies and one occured to me that, at least in a good number of cases I feel might be more accurate.

Think of pressure.. a gas or a liquid packed into or expanding in a confined space. It pushes and pushes within that space. If there is not a pressure relaease valve or if the pressure gets too great for that valve there can be a catastrophic explosion. Even if the pressure release valve is operated there is a tremendous and often dangerous outpouring of the material under pressure.

Now think of a crossdresser growing up. All those times they feel the need or desire to express femininity but are unable to they will bottle it up inside. Year after year these thoughts and feelings are jammed down deep and locked away. Brief opportunities for dressing let off a little steam but often not nearly enough. Each time the release valve is used the pressure behind it is greater, the force of that release is stronger but if it's not open long enough it only slows the build-up of pressure a little.

Then at last if the circumstances are right, such as coming out, the valve gets open long enough, with the pressure strong enough, that the valve gets stuck open or becomes hard to close as all those thoughts and feelings and desires and activities come pouring out.

This certainly seems closer to my own experiences of crossdressing than merely having too much fun and becoming selfishly self absorbed. That what occurs in pink fog is a rush of outpouring of all those moments of repressed femininity all trying to come out at once, impossible to ignore and difficult to direct tone down or control.

And the trouble with things kept under pressure.. if they don't let of enough pressure or build up unchecked they can explode.. and in our case I think that it occurs in self destructive and/or risky and dangerous behaviour.

[Lilith Moon]

I like your analogy.

My outlet valve has been closed for ages now and the boiler pressure is at danger level. If the valve is opened I just know that I'm going to be dressed and off out like a shot, regardless of the risks to me or family. If it doesn't open then something is going to give eventually. I don't know what form the explosion will take but the pressure feels almost physical sometimes.

[Alice B]

Interesting. Verrry interesting.

[Dita_B]

I've been thinking about the notion of pink fog, where it might come from and what it might mean.

That what occurs in pink fog is a rush of outpouring of all those moments of repressed femininity all trying to come out at once, impossible to ignore and difficult to direct tone down or control.



Well thank you battybattybats, I can certainly relate to that...as I am in the middle of the Thick Pink Fog right now, enjoying it tremendously and I am definitely not done with it yet...

:love:Dita.

[Marla S]

Some descriptions of it make it seem like a selfish self absorbtion but, at least in some cases I don't think that's right.
I think you are right. The often mentioned selfishness or self absorption is not something you do willingly or you can control by the rationality. It's rather a selfishness of the subconscious which at some point will try to clear a deprivation (or release pressure).


This certainly seems closer to my own experiences of crossdressing than merely having too much fun and becoming selfishly self absorbed. That what occurs in pink fog is a rush of outpouring of all those moments of repressed femininity all trying to come out at once, impossible to ignore and difficult to direct tone down or control.

And the trouble with things kept under pressure.. if they don't let of enough pressure or build up unchecked they can explode.. and in our case I think that it occurs in self destructive and/or risky and dangerous behaviour.
An analogy I have thought of (and already stated it elsewhere) is hunger and eating.
One only seemingly has control about it and only as long as the deficiency is not too big and you know that you will have the chance to clear (eat) the deficiency anytime soon.
If these conditions are not fulfilled the body will switch off the rationality (just to survive) and you'll forget all good manners.
If other conditions contribute you might end up in various eating disorders, and I see similarities with CDing here.

[tommi]

Batty
I read your post twice before it truly hit me that you nailed it spot on.
One thing I've noticed since I have found some support is the desire to dress
is there alot more and keeping it controled is sometimes morework than just
triggering the relief valve and dressing for even a short period.

It isn't easy to always deal with and sometimes the back of the closet is the best place for dealing with it.:(

[Rosaliy Lynne]

oh yeah. That is the best explanation I have read so far and I agree too that you have hit the nail on the head as it were.

[christina marie]

been there done that still trying to get my valve at least halfway closed again! thank goodness for what little bit of self control i have left. but i agree this is very accurate. i can really relate to this analogy!

[AlanaBCD]

A little pressure can keep dressing fun. It is when the pressure builds too much that problems arise. I have kept my valve well oiled and able to let small amounts of pressure off at a time. Sometimes the pressure builds a little too much.

When I let too much pressure off, I will purge. Then I realize that is as dumb as letting too much pressure build up.

[BarbaraTalbot]

I used to sell Real Estate. This was even before I was an appraiser. Certain loans required an FHA appraiser. On a conventional loan, the appraiser is observing just in general terms the apparent condition of the home as it compared to other homes in the area and only really for purposes of determining the value. Because FHA loans required much less down and were available to people of more modest means, the average FHA buyer would have trouble surmounting any unexpected major expense that was health of safety relate. Therefore FHA inspectors had to check a few outlets, flip a few switches, verify the heater works (But not the A/C and I live in Arizona where temperatures can reach over 115 degrees!). One of the things on the check list is the TPR valve on the water heater.

Just as your analogy, it is a small valve with a spring holding back pressure so that if the boiler as you call it (for our purposes it should be set below 135 degrees F to prevent scalding) actually boils, it will blow off and out a pipe to the outside. You can and should check the proper operation by lifting a small lever and releasing some water, and insuring that it is not corroded shut,and importantly that when you let go of the lever water doesn't continue to run. No one does this, or the yearly drain of the tank.

When the inspector came out, and first cracked the lever letting off pressure, the heater would then leak from that valve until you replaced it. This meant calling a plumber to certify a new proper valve was installed, and another $50 and a weeks delay to get the FHA inspector back out. I learned quick to check it myself early, so if it needed replacement it could be done for the $8 a new valve cost. Often if I would just let it slowly leak for a day or two, then come back and jiggle it a bit the sediment that built up would have passed, and it would function fine for a year or two.

Moral of the story, the longer it has been since your TPR valve has been opened, the more likely you cannot contain the flow once you open it.

[Jamie001]

The problem is that if you don't at least occasionally open the valve, the pressure will "build-up" and you will have a bout of severe depression or will act-out in some other manner like being withdrawn and distant.


function fine for a year or two.

Moral of the story, the longer it has been since your TPR valve has been opened, the more likely you cannot contain the flow once you open it.

[Deborah Jane]

This about sums it up for me!! The trouble now is ,the valve has blown off and i, can,t find it..[don,t want to..lol] I shall enjoy the Pink Fog while it lasts:D

[MJ]

yes well said there thank you

[Tree GG]

Such poor preventative maintenance procedures. Are there airline power plant technicians out there? :D

Now, the valve has blown, spewing fluid at pressure (which is fatal for anyone in the stream for those unfamiliar with hydraulic applications). The operator or kindly passeby is in real & mortal danger - the 2nd shift maintenance guy, who loved and pampered and cared for this system to the best of his ability, is struck a glancing blow to the chest - breaking his heart. (Sorry, couldn't resist a little soap opera affect in my drama) Someone needs to shut off the damned pump until the appropriate sized valve, complete with either programmable controls or pressure/temp compensation features can be installed.

Of course you could certainly just tear the whole thing down once the pump is down and redesign & rebuild it from scratch. No guarantees it'll function as desired, though once started back up.

Or you could just let that valve blow until all the fluid is gone. Either way. Both are messy.

:2c::D

Who's job was it to install the pressure differential gauge and monitor the system for spikes?

[Roberta Lynn]

Who's job was it to install the pressure differential gauge and monitor the system for spikes?

Unfortunately the manufacture has failed to provide proper operating instructions or sufficient warnings to those in close proximity to such high pressure systems. All attempts to contact the maker have so far been unanswered. for now it looks like it's just 'Caveat emptor'

[RobertaFermina]

Well, I never felt any pressure, guess I'm not that kind of girl.
I do feel more alive the more I dress though.
Guess my ability to feel the pressure is gone....or never was.

Maybe I'm more like a Pink Radioactive Pile...With every new experience I "Pile On", the more energetic and radiant I become ?

Of course....someday I may lay on one Pink Brick too many and then ..... OH MY !

:rose: Eve Bomb ? :rose:

[Jamie001]

It is like "letting the genie out of the bottle" and in this case the genie looks like Barbara Eden in the 1960's :D

[Satrana]

I never liked the term pink fog, it has negative connotations with drug abuse, or being lost or out of control.

I think that is a simplistic description maybe coined by a non CD. A CD is well aware of what he is doing and is not out of control. If he was he would be doing silly stuff like turning up to work in a skirt. Only a few have ever done that so clearly most CDs retain control and awareness.

A more accurate description would be a "feminine rush" or binge. Or even better "feminine exhilaration".

I would certainly agree that there is a pressure cooker element when CDs suddenly find themselves in a situation where they can crossdress regularly. We like to make up for lost time by binging ourselves on as much femininity as we can get away with.

But most importantly lets not overlook the fact that crossdressing is so much FUN. Can anyone think of anything which compares in stimulation, fulfillment and happiness? And when our endorphins are kicking in on maximum, we would be less than human not to wish to continue feeling this good for as long as possible.

Humans are programmed to chase after things which make us happy. Most people in surveys rate happiness as the number one goal in life. There is nothing particularly selfish about this, after all we want others to join in our experience and share in our happiness. It is just that others usually do not wish to.:sad: and we should not blame ourselves for that.

[Angie G]

I hade a tuchtouch ofpink fog when my wife first know of Angie I wanted to dress 7 days a week when we got home from somewhere I'd rut to change to my gril things
didn't make the wife happy well I'm more lead back takethe weekend off from dressing except my panties.
It can get the better of you :hugs:
Angie

[battybattybats]

I'm wondering about the guilt and fear side of things as well as practical management.
Why and how we talk ourselves out of dressing, convince ourselves that we don't want to anymore.

I think this is strongly tied together.
Is it a reaction, once the pressure has dropped off a bit, perhaps based on fear of the power and strength of the unleashed pressure? Instead of recognising the inner reality of our need to dress do we hope to suppress and anihilate it even further.. only to place it under even greater pressure and have an even more powerful release until eventually we realise it won't go away?

And then, when we do gain some degree of acceptance and opportunity there is often an eventual dropping of desire, a loss of pleasure in the act that can lead to disillusionment...

Could that be then because there has been such a sufficiency of release that the pressure is temporarily exhausted?

This could perhaps lead to a cycle of guilt, shame fear and despair as the desire rises as if from no-where, gets stronger even though dressing occurs, peaks and then drops off only to build again?

If so then only fairly regular dressing would be the answer, dependant solely upon the strength of desire? That maintainingat least a small habit of dressing even when one doesn't feel much urge to do so would keep unconcious buil-up from reaching unmanageable levels?

This would have a great deal of impact on couples trying to manage dressing. Lets postulate an example:

The husband has been going through this 'build pressure-release-fear-repress-build pressure' cycle through his life. He may or may not be firmly in denial when he marries but he certainly isn't able to admit to his urges. As the marriage goes on presure is building and, with opportunities few and far between when closeted what little dressing release he an get is not sufficient to stop the build up of pressure.

Finally the pressure is so great that he either comes out or is found out. If the wife tries to be very accepting at the beginning then the floodgates are opened likey resulting in a lot of pent up feelings thoughts and needs pouring forth in a difficult to manage or uncontrolable torrent that is quite likely to scare the wife and quite possibly the husband as well. If she is not very or at all accepting then the pressure will likely increase even further for the husband making him even more stressed.

If some sort of arrangement is struck where the husband has some opportunities to dress but that isn't as great as his need to dress then there will still be a build up of pressure which, though slower than before, will nonetheless need to be released by yet further amounts of feminine experience either in quantity, quality or both. To get this he may end up dressing further in secret, push his wife into allowing more activity and generally try and drive things to a balanced level for him that may be too much too quick for her. He could even go too far, taking on degrees of body modification or other behaviour that could be profoundly regretted once the pressure has normalised.

On the other hand if the frequency of dressing is greater than is needed the husband will find his interest waning. The Wife may wonder why he may be losing interest especially if she is accepting, supportive or even encouraging of his dressing. He may find that he misses the thrill of the surge of pent-up emotion and pressure that used to come with dressing. He may purge or look for other sources of the missing high like drugs or illicit affairs all the while beginning the repression that would slowly build the pressure again. This would be a tragedy where a supporting wife may find the relationship destroyed, the husband may find themselves addicted to a nasty drug in a new relationship with someone who doesn't know about his dressing and won't be supportive when the urge hits again.

There are lots of less catastrophic possibilities of course. The problem in essence could be that because the crossdresser has finally accepted their desire to have the strength of that desire wane could feel like a betrayel. The self-image that had finally adjusted to the new notion of identity would then no longer match again. This could end up causing depression and despair and when the urge built up again there could be a lot of resentment of it from husband and wife.

In that case learning to express femininity regularly, being ready to increase or decrease the frequency of dressing as desire ebbs and flows, learning to enjoy dressing even when the thrill is low or the desire weak and being emotionally prepared for that all would be essential for hapiness and inner well being.

In that case it would be like moving from a boom-to-bust economy to a more dynamic and flexible equilibrium.

This could be difficult to balance with the comfort level of a partner whose own acceptance could ebb and flow just as easilly based on their own emotional and unconcious processes, especially if each views the other as a static thing.

All that is just hypothetical of course but it does seem to match not only some of my own experience of the ebb and flow of the urge to dress but also some of the things I have read of the experiences of others.

[Marla S]

But most importantly lets not overlook the fact that crossdressing is so much FUN. Can anyone think of anything which compares in stimulation, fulfillment and happiness? And when our endorphins are kicking in on maximum, we would be less than human not to wish to continue feeling this good for as long as possible.
Like mentioned above: Eating.
An opulent, deliciously cooked, nicely decorated meal of your favorite foods and drinks can cause similar feelings. In particular if you are hungry or had to wait for this meal for a long time.
Or what is more fun, stimulation, fulfillment and happiness than a bottle of cold water in the desert ?
While we eat or drink we wish too it would never end, but at some point we have had enough.

Now it depends on a few things what happens next.


I'm wondering about the guilt and fear side of things as well as practical management.
Why and how we talk ourselves out of dressing, convince ourselves that we don't want to anymore.
I. e. guilt feelings and the wish not to do it anymore.

Guilt feelings are a result of our ability to be objective as an impulsive and emotional being (If Mr. Spock would be a CD, he never would have felt guilty.)

As long as we are not able to create our own objectiveness, we have to use the one we get taught: Society teaches us what's right and wrong. If this clashes with our impulsive and emotionally driven action, we feel guilty.

Very same with eating:
We get taught not to eat too much, not too sweet, not too fat etc. If we get the impulse to eat to much, too sweet, too fat, because it is so much fun right now, it is very likely that we feel guilty afterwards.
"I have failed, I should have known it is wrong, everybody says it is wrong, I will be fat, people will star at me, etc.".
Likely that you feel miserable and swear never ever to eat too much, too sweet, too fat and, most important, without self-control.
Probably best is 'to purge' the refrigerator.

Won't help you, because this frustration will produce the need for fun and happiness. Your body will tell you when it is the right time, and if your objectiveness delays it, it will just get switched off.
Like in trance you will fill your refrigerator again, just to eat too much, too sweet, too fat (what a great feeling now, who cares for the guilt afterwards).
And you start over. Maybe next time a touch more, a touch sweeter, a touch more fat to compensate the increasing guilt feelings by more "fun".


And then, when we do gain some degree of acceptance and opportunity there is often an eventual dropping of desire, a loss of pleasure in the act that can lead to disillusionment...
Gaining acceptance means to create your own objectiveness, one that is less influenced by the 'objectiveness' you got taught by the society, and one that is more in agreement with your emotions.
The dropping desire is not a dropping desire, it's a dropping rush because the weigh of guilt decreases, you start balancing ratio and emotions. And it is only a disillusionment, if you are not able to realize that balance is a new and desirable quality and it is one you can control, which adds even more. A quiet one though, not as loud as the rush, and sometimes hard to recognize.
More like laying on a beach with palm trees and blue water, instead sitting in a roller coaster.


Could that be then because there has been such a sufficiency of release that the pressure is temporarily exhausted?

This could perhaps lead to a cycle of guilt, shame fear and despair as the desire rises as if from no-where, gets stronger even though dressing occurs, peaks and then drops off only to build again?

If you misapprehend the temporal lack of hunger (pressure), as a phase of full control over your eating behavior (if I don't want to eat I don't have to eat), it is likely that you miss the point to give your body early enough nutritions to control what, when, and how much you eat. If you miss that point, your ratio and all pledges will just get brushed aside again. You lost control, might feel ashamed, and guilty again.

I think it is an illusion that one has full control over the needs of the body, but one doesn't need to lose control and can get control within a balanced limit.
To get aware of that and to find the limits while balancing is the goal, which means control by allowing the non-controllable (non-deniable).


If so then only fairly regular dressing would be the answer
IMO one only is able to find the limits, needs, and balance during phases that are not driven by urge/desire or omitted by a misapprehend 'lack of pressure' (external control by social restrictions). You have to be able to listen, while not in a rush or suppression. You need a bit of mental freedom.

[battybattybats]

Marla S,
Did I miss a key differance of opinion or are we saying the same thing in different ways?

:hugs:

[Marla S]

Marla S,
Did I miss a key differance of opinion or are we saying the same thing in different ways?

:hugs:
I think it is essentially the same or at least very similar. But, though being a bit familiar with thermodynamical pressure, with my current understanding I prefer the "dietary"-analogy.
It has the advantage that it is more related to humans and basic needs.
And I see more parallels to CDing and it's manifestations and reasonings. There are many similar patterns.
I.e. the often mentioned stress relive. Food can have the very same effect, but utilized in the wrong way you can easily enter a circle of shame/guilt and desire.
We have members that experience CDing as fast food, we have members that celebrate CDing like a delicious meal, there are all different kinds of tastes, more or less well cooked and so forth.
I think we can learn a lot from the knowledge of diets,its psychology, and the social pressure those dietary recommendations might produce, making people unhappy and sometimes ill.

[Tree GG]

Batty,

I believe your last addition to this thread makes an important point. Soooo many times CDs see external requests at moderation of dressing whenever/however they want, as a restriction or non-supportive intrusion. You make a valid argument as to why those requests are reasonable and healthy. Not to be seen as control and lack of support but healthy regulation to maintain the enjoyment of both the relationship and the CDer's TG experience.

So maybe that means we can agree to say that it really isn't "just clothes" as the clothes are just the relief valve actuator? :happy:

[Lovely Rita]

Batty, I like your theory.

[CDmarci]

I totally agree with this.The building up of the presure has happened many times and it allways seems to open at the wrong times in my life.I am currently keeping it bottled with small realeases but i can feel a explotion coming.hope it doesnt cost me another relationship!

[battybattybats]

Batty,

I believe your last addition to this thread makes an important point. Soooo many times CDs see external requests at moderation of dressing whenever/however they want, as a restriction or non-supportive intrusion. You make a valid argument as to why those requests are reasonable and healthy. Not to be seen as control and lack of support but healthy regulation to maintain the enjoyment of both the relationship and the CDer's TG experience.

So maybe that means we can agree to say that it really isn't "just clothes" as the clothes are just the relief valve actuator? :happy:

Certainly it isn't 'just clothes'.

The trouble with external requests for moderation is that they will probably be based on the SO's comfort levels which, if under the CD's pressure release needs, could lead to increase of pressure and potential explosion. At the best of times it would be very difficult for the SO to predict or evaluate the CD's pressure level. Actually it would be very hard for the CD to do so until they became more fully aware of themselves and the patterns of their needs which will be in a state of fluctaution even when well managed as the persons inner femininity responds to external stimuli.

A well-meaning SO who asks for the break to be put on just a little at a time when increased release is what is actually needed could cause disaster.


I think it is essentially the same or at least very similar. But, though being a bit familiar with thermodynamical pressure, with my current understanding I prefer the "dietary"-analogy.
It has the advantage that it is more related to humans and basic needs.
And I see more parallels to CDing and it's manifestations and reasonings. There are many similar patterns.
I.e. the often mentioned stress relive. Food can have the very same effect, but utilized in the wrong way you can easily enter a circle of shame/guilt and desire.
We have members that experience CDing as fast food, we have members that celebrate CDing like a delicious meal, there are all different kinds of tastes, more or less well cooked and so forth.
I think we can learn a lot from the knowledge of diets,its psychology, and the social pressure those dietary recommendations might produce, making people unhappy and sometimes ill.

The trouble for me is that I fear the guilt-eating emotive dynamic, coupled with the severe hostility towards overweight people in current society may exacerbate the emotive judgemental attachments to the analogy.