Is Partial Crossdressing more Acceptable to SOs?

[Jamie001]

I am wondering if partial crossdressing is more acceptable to SOs. For example, I always present as a fashion-feminized male. In other words, I wear male clothing with the following exceptions:

1. Long highlighted hair in a fem style with bangs.

2. Earrings. Usually a single 1 CT diamond stud in each ear.

3. Professional pedicure with red nail polish on my toes.

4. Professional manicure with clear nail polish on my fingers.

5. Low-heel womens casual sandals usually in black or white color. (Men's sandals look like truck tires and are hideous)

I don't try to give the impression that I am a woman or act in a different manner. I am just a male that incorporates some feminine items into his wardrobe. I simply like wearing the items that I mentioned above. Several hundred years ago, all of the items that I mentioned above were "male fashion" including make-up, wigs in a feminine style, and high-heel shoes. George Washington even wore high-heels to his inaugural ball!

Another point that I would like to make is that women do this type of thing all of the time. I was getting a manicure/pedicure yesterday and picked-up a women's magazine that had an article about incorporating men's items into their overall look. It discussed how women can incorporate men's shirts, ball caps, large men's watches and other items. It even advocated shopping in the men's department! I have seen many of these articles in women's fashion magazines. Whenever my wife sees one of these articles she points it out for me. There is definitely a double-standard at work here! :Angry3:

Many women have a very masculine look on the weekends consisting of no-makeup, jeans, baseball cap, athletic shoes, etc. In actuality, this is the stereotypical male-look. You may be wondering where I am going with this...

There is an old saying that "What is good for the goose, is good for the gander". Therefore, I don't see any issues with males incorporating some feminine items in their otherwise male appearance.

What are the opinions here? Is the issue that most SOs have associated with the fact that their husbands attempt to act like a woman and present a female persona? Is is more palatable to SOs if they just incorporate fem items into their look like women have been incorporating men's items for many years? Is this preferable to taking-on a female persona and going all the way?

:love: Jamie

[Sheila]

Many women have a very masculine look on the weekends consisting of no-makeup, jeans, baseball cap, athletic shoes, etc. In actuality, this is the stereotypical male-look.

There is an old saying that "What is good for the goose, is good for the gander". Therefore, I don't see any issues with males incorporating some feminine items in their otherwise male appearance.

:love: Jamie



thats fine hun BUT WE ACTUALLY HAVE NO ISSUES IN GOING ABOUT OUR DAILY BUSINESS THIS WAY

[Jamie001]

Hi Jess,

I'm not sure that I really understand your response. Maybe I am just a little slower than average, but I have read your response several times and still don't completely understand. Maybe my original post wasn't clear regarding the questions that I am asking or the facts that I am stating. Since I have only received one response to my post, I am beginning to think that maybe I did a poor job of presenting my facts and questions, or maybe there are not a lot of folks like me here on this forum that don't completely crossdress.

Jamie


thats fine hun BUT WE ACTUALLY HAVE NO ISSUES IN GOING ABOUT OUR DAILY BUSINESS THIS WAY

[crunchysoda]

I dont wear make-up all of the time. In fact I rarely wear it, maybe once a week. It took a lot for me to get to this point, because I was so self conscious.

My bf wears one item of clothing, that isnt obvious and Ive adjusted to the point that it doesnt bother me. He also paints his toenails and while I kinda giggle to myself and outloud about it, I can handle that. I also noticed his fingernails have clear nail polish on them. That is *my* comfort level. He doesnt act any differently but I dont think he could even if he wanted to.
I think he is content as well.

For me the hair and shoes would be too much, even if he acted the same. I love his hair when he just has it cut, it shows off his eyes and strong facial features that attract me to him. He lives in white athletic shoes, that is just him.

BTW I wish I had 1ct diamond earrings. I have some diamond earrings my bf bought me for our first vday but they arent 1ct!!! I never take them out, I even pierced my ears again just so I could wear other earrings and not have to take them out. I peirced them myself! :D

[Jamie001]

Hi ACGG,

Thanks for response. :happy: It is good to know that there are other guys like me that present as a feminized male without trying to adopt a fem persona. The way that I look at it, I am not doing anything that women don't already do. (if that makse sense)

For example, we have women in the church that are married with families and some of them have short "male-style" hair and wear bluejeans and masculine shoes, and no makeup. They essentially have a stereotypical "guy look" except that they have breasts and a more curvaceous figure. IMHO the double standard that exists really needs to be destroyed! No one looks twice at these women, but I sure get a lot of double-takes because of the double standard. What is really interesting is that a lot of times the double-takes are from women that are dresses in a "masculine" manner. :heehee: :eek:

I believe that men need to just incorporate the items that they want to wear into their otherwise male appearance just as women have done with *ALL* items from male fashion. It seems that the only item from male fashion that women have not adopted is the athletic supporter for obvious reasons.

:hugs: Jamie



I dont wear make-up all of the time. In fact I rarely wear it, maybe once a week. It took a lot for me to get to this point, because I was so self conscious.

My bf wears one item of clothing, that isnt obvious and Ive adjusted to the point that it doesnt bother me. He also paints his toenails and while I kinda giggle to myself and outloud about it, I can handle that. I also noticed his fingernails have clear nail polish on them. That is *my* comfort level. He doesnt act any differently but I dont think he could even if he wanted to.
I think he is content as well.

For me the hair and shoes would be too much, even if he acted the same. I love his hair when he just has it cut, it shows off his eyes and strong facial features that attract me to him. He lives in white athletic shoes, that is just him.

BTW I wish I had 1ct diamond earrings. I have some diamond earrings my bf bought me for our first vday but they arent 1ct!!! I never take them out, I even pierced my ears again just so I could wear other earrings and not have to take them out. I peirced them myself! :D

[Di]

As far as your question ....if partial crossdressing is more acceptable to SOs...................
It really only matters to what makes you happy or your partner

Me personally....I do not care for the partial look....I prefer total guy or total girl...but thats me....just do what makes you happy and your partner if you have one...thats all that really matters.

[Joanne f]

I do not dress fem very often i hardly ever get the time but i dress what you might call androgyny a lot of the time, women's jeans and cargo trousers (pants) and women's tee shirt or shirt/blouse and i wear a skirt in the house a lot of the time, my wife has no problem with this at all in fact yesterday she bought herself a new top and one the same for me and told me i must wear it when she wears hers, so i think that you might be right in saying that they might except it more if you only go a little way.
But i should point out that my wife has no problem with me when i do dress all the way she says that it is like having a big sister in the house, well i am older than her :heehee:

[KimberlyS]

I agree with Di on this one.


.........It really only matters to what makes you happy or your partner

I also feel a lot of the acceptance of others comes from how well the CDer accepts them self where ever they are at on the TG spectrum. And applies to everything and not just CDing or being TG.

IMHO, a person that is confident about what they are doing, that it is ok to do it, that it is right to do it and accepting of it them self, has that radiate from them , and pass on to those around them via speech, actions, posture, and other interaction.

The same is for those that are not confident, unsure, questioning. So both the negative and the positve radiate out to others. The trick is to have more positive that negative, and most of that being mentally confident. As mental confidence controls most other actions we do.

[Karren H]

If fully dressing is unacceptable then partially will most likely also not be accepted....

[Marcie Sexton]

Other than unmentionables:heehee:, that I wear daily, for me its all or nothing...

Same for my wife...her favorite term is don't half ass any thing...

[sterling12]

My experience has been whether partial dressing, full-blown "presenting as Gurl" dressing, or any other variance....most women are pretty tolerant.

UNTIL, they have to deal with their husband or B.F. doing it! For many, it then becomes a threat, to their relationship, to their perception of their social world, to their value system.

In my Support Groups what seems to help, is if The GG is liberal and willing enough to go to a meeting and interact with others. Just actually seeing a lot of other CDs fully dressed and enjoying themselves, with nobody freaking out, seems to help a lot. And of course the chance to talk with other women about the situation.

So to answer your question? IMHO, the degree of CD doesn't seem that important. Familiarity, Interaction with others, and Acceptance is what seems to be important.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Cyndie]

As for as my SO is concerned nothing is the better choice. For her it is OK to wear things that are not fem, but anything fem from me is unacceptable. That's just the way it is.:thumbsdn:

TTFN
Cyndie

[Marla S]

If fully dressing is unacceptable then partially will most likely also not be accepted....
That's most likely true.
But I do wonder if the 'gender switch' has any impact.
Sometimes I think so, sometimes it seems it really doesn't matter.

Over all, I think sterling12 is right.
It's mostly a matter of familiarity.
People that dress like folks did 20 or 100 years ago are considered a bit 'freakish' too, because that style isn't familiar anymore.

[Satrana]

If we are talking about SOs, then no, partial dressing would make little difference since usually their disapproval is based upon the fact that you are no longer presenting as a masculine male and so no longer fit their idea of what a husband or BF should look like. And until the day when all men in society start wearing feminine stuff, SOs will continue experiencing difficulties in accepting anything feminine because it affects their outlook and social standing.

The only real advantage in partial dressing is that you can make a much better case for double standards. It is clear-cut discrimination if what you want is exactly what they already have. As soon as CDs begin emulating women then that argument fails as there is clearly something else going on.

I am a firm believer that emulation is a byproduct of being forced into the closet and experiencing ourselves as feminine through fantasies. Usually it has little to do with why we began crossdressing in the first place but because it is so much fun, CDs end up focusing on it. But that is another subject altogether.

[JoAnnDallas]

On weekends, I ususally dress in lady Hanes T-shirt, Lady Hanes shorts, women style sandels, and panties. Only if we are going out will my wife insist that I put on socks, so my bright PINK toes will not show. Otherwise we will go shopping and such with me dressed this way. wife is compy with me dressing this way. She told me that she is does not ready to see me fully dress.

[DonnaT]

My wife is way more acceptable when I don't wear my wig or makeup. And I'm happy with that.

She wishes I didn't crossdress at all, however. ;)

[pantyhose46202]

My wife is ok with me wearing panthyhose under my "boy" clothes and shaving my legs in the winter. Fully dressing is not accepted. I am OK with that most of the time

[Angie G]

The only thing my wife don't want is to see me in a bra :hugs:
Angie

[Dixie]

I am my wife's B***H!

[Marla S]

If we are talking about SOs, then no, partial dressing would make little difference since usually their disapproval is based upon the fact that you are no longer presenting as a masculine male and so no longer fit their idea of what a husband or BF should look like. And until the day when all men in society start wearing feminine stuff, SOs will continue experiencing difficulties in accepting anything feminine because it affects their outlook and social standing.

The only real advantage in partial dressing is that you can make a much better case for double standards. It is clear-cut discrimination if what you want is exactly what they already have. As soon as CDs begin emulating women then that argument fails as there is clearly something else going on.

I am a firm believer that emulation is a byproduct of being forced into the closet and experiencing ourselves as feminine through fantasies. Usually it has little to do with why we began crossdressing in the first place but because it is so much fun, CDs end up focusing on it. But that is another subject altogether.
Once again, wise words.

[Laura B.]

My wife is more comfortable with me partially dressing which she encourages and we go out together in public that way. She says she is not ready to go out with me when I am totally fem. I respect her wishes and usually only partially dress, ie capris, blouse, sandals, painted toe nails.

[Jamie001]

Cyndie,

Have you ever asked your SO why? It seems that it should be a two-way street.

Jamie


As for as my SO is concerned nothing is the better choice. For her it is OK to wear things that are not fem, but anything fem from me is unacceptable. That's just the way it is.:thumbsdn:

TTFN
Cyndie

[Cyndie]

Cyndie,

Have you ever asked your SO why? It seems that it should be a two-way street.

Jamie

For her it is really import how "other" people think about how someone is dressed. Other people have no problem with women in slacks or wearing a guy's shirt so that is OK. For her, wearing something fem that is sexy is a problem, because of what other people may think. I've been trying for over 40 years to change her mind on that, and she will not budge. :(

[Jamie001]

That is exactly the double-standard thought-process that we need to eliminate from our modern-day society. The way to eliminate the double-standard is to get out there and incorporate fem items into our male appearance. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. That is the old saying and it's only fair.

Jamie :love:


For her it is really import how "other" people think about how someone is dressed. Other people have no problem with women in slacks or wearing a guy's shirt so that is OK. For her, wearing something fem that is sexy is a problem, because of what other people may think. I've been trying for over 40 years to change her mind on that, and she will not budge. :(

[Cyndie]

That is exactly the double-standard thought-process that we need to eliminate from our modern-day society. The way to eliminate the double-standard is to get out there and incorporate fem items into our male appearance. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. That is the old saying and it's only fair.

Jamie :love:

You are right, there is a double standard and I have not given up trying little by little to change it. And it is not fair, and to quote Garfield (the cat) I keep reminding myself "Life is not fair, the best you can hope for on most days is partly cloudy."
:hugs:

[sobe1ove GG]

For me, I need my guy to be a guy when he's being a guy. Hehe. I want him to be who he was when we got together, more or less. That's why I want him to either be the guy I fell in love with, or be the lady (although definitely not all the time.)

I don't want him to be part lady when he should be being the man I knew. Although, he does have painted toenails and has convinced me that he needs to paint his fingernails as well. But lady hair and hella shaped eyebrows would upset me. Frankly, that stuff goes way more toward being a lady than the clothes do.

And to answer questions and comments like, 'but this is who he is' or 'how can you be so up on appearances?' or what have you:

I don't have an attraction to women or incredibly feminine men. That fact should be important. It matters what I'm attracted to.

[sobe1ove GG]

Oops, double post.

[Jamie001]

Hi Laura,

My situation and your situation are quite similar, however my wife will permit fem hair, earrings, women's low-heel sandals, and red toenails when we are in public. It seems that your wife allows you a little more lee-way. The good thing is that I am quite happy with the freedom that I have and really don't want anymore.

:love: Jamie


My wife is more comfortable with me partially dressing which she encourages and we go out together in public that way. She says she is not ready to go out with me when I am totally fem. I respect her wishes and usually only partially dress, ie capris, blouse, sandals, painted toe nails.