Came out to my kids

[Suzie Green]

I made the decision a few days ago to tell my children that I was a crossdresser. My wife and I had discussed it and after recently going out in public for the first time as "Suzie", I thought it was a good opportunity to finally break the news. So I met with my two sons (ages 25 and 30) and my daughter in law and basically told them their father was a CD. I told them how it had affected my entire life, that I'd been interested in girl clothes since I was 6 years old, that I'd told my wife a while back, and that I was perfectly comfortable being who I am. There were several reasons for telling them. I'm getting close to 60 years of age, and you worry about lots of stuff. What if I were to pass away, or worse, my wife to go with me. I couldn't stand the thought of them possibly discovering this after the fact. Then there were the grandchildren to think of. I'd been paranoid that my son would show up at the house, kids in tow, and I'd be scrambling to undress. I didn't want to risk being "outed" in that manner. So I told them everything, including showing them numerous pictures, and offered them some of my reading material as well, such as the book "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd. The only thing I refused to do was tell them my CD name and the resources I use here on the web, such as this site. I'm sure they can google it and eventually discover for themselves if they wanted to, but I doubt they will even attempt it.

I must say, they took it unbelievably well, better than I had hoped. They all were incredibly understanding, we talked about a ton of issues, and they thanked me and congratulated me for my strength and courage. My youngest son happens to live about 40 miles away in a college town that is pretty much a hotbed of lesbian activity in New England. He mentioned that one of the clubs that he frequents has a lot of gay and crossdressing clientele, and he even suggested that if I wished to go out sometime and spend an evening at the club with my wife, he'd be more than happy to go with me. I have been so blessed with the most understanding wife and children, and feel lucky that I am accepted 100% by those who mean the most to me.

I just wanted to share with you all, in the hopes that others can see this is possible. If you are still on the fence about telling your wife or your kids, please consider doing it. My life is so much better now that they know. It does help to be surrounded by understanding people. Having them be sympathetic about your CD-ing is no different than having them understand almost any other issue. If you have a good foundation to start with in your relation with your wife or children, there is no reason that you can't use those building blocks to your advantage.

To say I'm happy would be an understatement...more like "over the moon" is more appropriate! :love:

Suzie

[Deborah Jane]

I,m glad it all worked out for you:hugs: My daughter lives with me and knows all about it, my oldest son knows too. Kids don,t seem fazed about it nowadays.

[Di]

Sounds like you have wonderful children:thumbsup:glad it went well.Very heart warming thread. I can see why you feel ""over the moon" :hugs:

[Wenda]

Congratulations:thumbsup::thumbsup:
I first shared the fact that I had a new 'hobby' with my daughter, on-line. She then told me that her older brother also dressed, which I didn't realize, but could see, once I knew. She told him, and he and I chatted extensively on line. We have talked about it, but never seen each other dressed.
My closet door outed me to my youngest son. It is a door, not a bi-fold, and the latch sometimes sticks. My son was staying here when I was away, and the door opened to reveal 12 pairs of lady's shoes in a shoe sorter hanging on the inside of the door.
He spoke to his older brother, who, fortunately knew, and was ok with it.
I apologized to him later for the surprise, but he said he had a couple of aquaintences that dressed. It didn't intereest him, but he was fine with it.
I also experienced a huge sense of relief. I would hate to surpise my kids if they came to sort my things and discovered 8 pairs of breast forms about 30 pairs of shoes, 10 pairs of boots and two drawers of lingerie.
Hmm, now that I think about it, even though they are aware, they would probably be surpised at the extent of my wardrobe.
Congrats again! w.

[Holly]

Suzie, what a relief, huh? I know when I can out to my kids, it was a defining moment (in a very positive way). I think it benefits the children as well, as they can see first hand that life isn't always perfect and even those who they respect and love can have "different" interests. Just because a parent cross dresses, doesn't mean that they love their children any less or in a manner that is substandard. I think it give the kids permission to be "different" themselves, should they choose to be. Maybe we can break the different/guilt cycle.

[Sandra]

It's a good feeling isn't it, glad it all went well

[Kari Lynn Franks]

my daughter was raised with me dressing up when i got home from work she just thoughtit was natrual she buys me outfits and other stuff for my b-day she got me 20 prs of earings cool alot of us are blessed with kids that love us for who we are and will do anything too support us

[Darlene-VA]

What a beautiful story and thanks for sharing, most people do not give the younger generation much credit these days but they do seem to handle most things very well indeed

[uknowhoo]

Oh Suzie, I am sooo happy for you! What relief and joy you must be feeling right now! :c9: Thanx for sharing. Though we may not realize it, threads like these really are a source of inspiration and hope to so many. xoxo Tammi

[AmberTG]

I told my adult son a couple months ago. He was going to be spending a lot of time at my house, and I wanted to tell him so wouldn't have to keep hiding my stuff in my own house, I live alone. I think he took it well enough, his only comment was " well, everybody's got something" I don't think he wants to see it though, I think it kinda freaks him out a bit.:heehee:

I still have to tell my daughter at some point, transition forces your hand eventually.

[Eugenie]

Hi Suzie,

I can understand your feelings very well. I'm about your age and I also came out to my daughter who is now 37. She took it very well. She said however that she wasn't ready to see me "en femme".

My wife has known for my X-dressing just about 2 years after our wedding. But unlike yours, she is not supportive (that's a euphemism...) but has slightly been a little more accepting in the past year. This is partly due to my coming out to our daughter.

I had not told my wife about it. After several discussions with me, my daughter decided to speak about my x-dressing to her younger brother (35). My son and his girl friend took it very well. She also decided to have a discussion with her mother, which she didn't want me to be part of...

My wife said nothing to me for 3 days. Then we had a severe crisis. But in the end our couple came out a lot stronger. The subject of my x-dressing which was taboo was finally put on the table at length... Indeed one of the fears of my wife was that the children would discover my x-dressing and that they would be shocked. Obviously they weren't. So that was a relief for her.

After this we are all a lot closer to each other.

So I can really share your happiness...

:hugs:
Eugenie
PS: The picture of you on the deck of your house makes me homesick... We lived in Upper Westchester and had a house with a similar deck overlooking the forest...

[Raychel]

Glad all turned out well for you Suzie, That can be a very scary thing.

[Alaceann]

Do you remember the name of the club? I live near there and would like to check it out.:hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

Its wonderful that things have turned out so well

You must have raised them with the right values :)

[Sally24]

That's super Suzie! Isn't it great to get that out of the way and find that your kids are really nice people? It's made a big difference in my life!

The club is probably the BLU Ultralounge on Waters Street in Worcester. A branch of the Sisters group meets there every Wednesday night around 8. The online group if you want to join to look around is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_worcester/

Good luck!

[charllote34]

Well done , and what a weight off your shoulders that must have been for you .i am making similar palns to break the news to my family . you have my respect c x:hugs:

[Veronica 1]

I recently outed myself to the family and was relieved to find that they were accepting. It totally changed my life. I just recently discovered my fem self and now that I have found that with acceptance of the family I am braver about going out into the world and enjoying being myself. I am who I am and now I am finding that I am able to discover more about myself with the support of my children. Life is great when you have somebody to share your ideals.