Veronica Fallon
09-24-2007, 12:16 PM
Hi all,
I just wanted to reiterate the value for us in smiling when out & about.
Last week I posted asking for advice on how to limit the affect of people’s judgments & reactions to me. With the usual great supportiveness found here, many of you offered a variety of tips, tricks, & just plain “life-wisdom” for over-coming my girlish shyness & learning to move in public with womanly confidence. [Thank you all again!!!] I took your suggestions to heart & tried hard to assimilate them. All last week I prepared myself (inside & out) for my 1st time out to our local T-clubs on Saturday night.
First, my S/O & I went to our Tri-ESS meeting (our 2nd time), where I felt much more relaxed than on my 1st meeting a month ago. I was still very nervous at first, but by utilizing your collected advice & “borrowing” a lil’ confidence from all you courageous sisters who’ve gone before me, I soon relaxed just enough to start feeling my natural femininity. It felt sooo lovely to finally exhibit with others, the feminine moves, voice & mannerisms that come so freely & easily at home with just my GGF & myself. I’ve been searching all weekend to find adequate words to describe the deeply profound feelings in my body & soul as my inner woman rose fully to the surface with other people. The only comparison that seems to come close is that I really felt like “a blossoming flower”. I felt like I’ve been made up of all these soft, delicate, pastel-pink layers, covered by a thick, protective, green shell, & now I was opening up to vulnerably reveal my genuine self to the world. It was truly the most liberating, beautiful feeling I’ve ever known!
Feeling fully feminine at last, helped provide me with just enough confidence to take the next step away from my closet- the T-friendly clubs downtown. My nervousness tried to re-establish it’s control over me on the way, but I kept it (mostly) at bay by focusing on the points of advice you’d all given me- especially to carry myself proudly & to SMILE!! We parked a few buildings down from the 1st club & passed several couples & singles as we walked. I looked at each one & gave them a warm, sincere smile. Each time brought me more confidence & by the time we opened the door, I was ready!
We searched room to room through the crowd before finally finding the sister we’d planned to meet there. After hugs & air-kisses, she introduced us to a few of her sisters from another group, who were very receptive & genuinely happy to meet us. I connected especially well with a petite & very pretty girl named Valerie, & was soon deeply involved in my 1st real session of “girl-talk” with another T-girl. It simply felt like two real women sharing & getting to know one another, & I think I even forgot there was any maleness in me at all. I finally just felt like me!!
I slowly nursed a cocktail so that I’d keep feeling my femininity fully & purely, without any alcohol cloudiness. We moved around, met more people (TG & non-TG), & eventually strolled a block to another club. I felt giddy as a schoolgirl, but with the awareness & appreciation of a wise, elderly woman. Engaging the world as my feminine self, I just felt so wonderfully free & natural that I couldn’t help but smile! So I did. I smiled all the warmth, joy, & liberation I felt, out to everyone I passed by. And you know what? They smiled back!! I know people were just being polite, but it really felt like everyone was celebrating my womanhood right along with me! I had no negative interactions whatsoever. Even GG’s in the bathroom were kind & friendly.
My GF thought I passed well, but I’d guess maybe 50/50 would be more accurate. I’m sure the reactions to my smiles made it seem otherwise. So I’ve now come to believe in the power of smiling as we engage the world as women. I know the club-scene is entirely different than a shopping mall or a family restaurant, but it’s good practice & still provides some contact with straight-folk who’ve not yet encountered us. It might be quite a few more times in the saf(er) environment of gay or T-clubs before I feel ready for the general daytime public, but now armed with a gleeful smile, I feel confident that it’s only a matter of time.
You all are right- a smile is indeed an accessory us girls should never leave the house without wearing prominently!!
Luckily it can come so naturally when feeling feminine on a primary level! It’s two days later, my cheeks are sore, & I’m still smiling!!! :D:D:D
Peace, Luv, & Girly Grins,
Veronica
I just wanted to reiterate the value for us in smiling when out & about.
Last week I posted asking for advice on how to limit the affect of people’s judgments & reactions to me. With the usual great supportiveness found here, many of you offered a variety of tips, tricks, & just plain “life-wisdom” for over-coming my girlish shyness & learning to move in public with womanly confidence. [Thank you all again!!!] I took your suggestions to heart & tried hard to assimilate them. All last week I prepared myself (inside & out) for my 1st time out to our local T-clubs on Saturday night.
First, my S/O & I went to our Tri-ESS meeting (our 2nd time), where I felt much more relaxed than on my 1st meeting a month ago. I was still very nervous at first, but by utilizing your collected advice & “borrowing” a lil’ confidence from all you courageous sisters who’ve gone before me, I soon relaxed just enough to start feeling my natural femininity. It felt sooo lovely to finally exhibit with others, the feminine moves, voice & mannerisms that come so freely & easily at home with just my GGF & myself. I’ve been searching all weekend to find adequate words to describe the deeply profound feelings in my body & soul as my inner woman rose fully to the surface with other people. The only comparison that seems to come close is that I really felt like “a blossoming flower”. I felt like I’ve been made up of all these soft, delicate, pastel-pink layers, covered by a thick, protective, green shell, & now I was opening up to vulnerably reveal my genuine self to the world. It was truly the most liberating, beautiful feeling I’ve ever known!
Feeling fully feminine at last, helped provide me with just enough confidence to take the next step away from my closet- the T-friendly clubs downtown. My nervousness tried to re-establish it’s control over me on the way, but I kept it (mostly) at bay by focusing on the points of advice you’d all given me- especially to carry myself proudly & to SMILE!! We parked a few buildings down from the 1st club & passed several couples & singles as we walked. I looked at each one & gave them a warm, sincere smile. Each time brought me more confidence & by the time we opened the door, I was ready!
We searched room to room through the crowd before finally finding the sister we’d planned to meet there. After hugs & air-kisses, she introduced us to a few of her sisters from another group, who were very receptive & genuinely happy to meet us. I connected especially well with a petite & very pretty girl named Valerie, & was soon deeply involved in my 1st real session of “girl-talk” with another T-girl. It simply felt like two real women sharing & getting to know one another, & I think I even forgot there was any maleness in me at all. I finally just felt like me!!
I slowly nursed a cocktail so that I’d keep feeling my femininity fully & purely, without any alcohol cloudiness. We moved around, met more people (TG & non-TG), & eventually strolled a block to another club. I felt giddy as a schoolgirl, but with the awareness & appreciation of a wise, elderly woman. Engaging the world as my feminine self, I just felt so wonderfully free & natural that I couldn’t help but smile! So I did. I smiled all the warmth, joy, & liberation I felt, out to everyone I passed by. And you know what? They smiled back!! I know people were just being polite, but it really felt like everyone was celebrating my womanhood right along with me! I had no negative interactions whatsoever. Even GG’s in the bathroom were kind & friendly.
My GF thought I passed well, but I’d guess maybe 50/50 would be more accurate. I’m sure the reactions to my smiles made it seem otherwise. So I’ve now come to believe in the power of smiling as we engage the world as women. I know the club-scene is entirely different than a shopping mall or a family restaurant, but it’s good practice & still provides some contact with straight-folk who’ve not yet encountered us. It might be quite a few more times in the saf(er) environment of gay or T-clubs before I feel ready for the general daytime public, but now armed with a gleeful smile, I feel confident that it’s only a matter of time.
You all are right- a smile is indeed an accessory us girls should never leave the house without wearing prominently!!
Luckily it can come so naturally when feeling feminine on a primary level! It’s two days later, my cheeks are sore, & I’m still smiling!!! :D:D:D
Peace, Luv, & Girly Grins,
Veronica