I am so confused

[Xaff]

Okey, remember my treat whith I named: I think I am finished. And that I am happy to be a Tomboy. Well, I was for a while. But since the last time I again have these feelings that I need to get away my boobs, so people think I am a boy.

So now I would like to become a boy again. It's so confusing. On one side I would like to be a Tomboy, on the other side I would like to be a Boy. I don't know???

So from now on I will be a boy! :D (I think)

[Kieron Andrew]

you'll always be one of the boys to me :):hugs:

[Xaff]

you'll always be one of the boys to me :):hugs:

Thanks Kieron, :happy: here you don't have to choose. But in real life you have too. It's so anoying. :sad:

[Cai]

I know. Some days I don't want to choose. I wish I could do that.

:hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

i dont choose for others, i dont believe we have to, i am who i am on any given day, im lucky that i know im male 100%

[Dasein9]

It's okay to be confused. That's when we learn. It's uncomfortable, but it's also usually worth it, at least when we do learn something.

:hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

It's okay to be confused. That's when we learn. It's uncomfortable, but it's also usually worth it, at least when we do learn something.

:hugs:

i totally agree!

besides gender isnt black or white there are shades of grey so maybe Xaff you are one of those people :)

[CaptLex]

Thanks Kieron, :happy: here you don't have to choose. But in real life you have too. It's so anoying. :sad:
I don't think we ever have to choose, Xaff. We can feel one way one day and a different way the next and then back again. I know it's confusing, but sometimes when we're in the middle, it can swing back and forth without much control and it's okay to just go with it. You don't have to choose one, you can be whoever you feel you are today and tomorrow you can be someone else if that's how you feel. It's all good. :hugs:

[Adam]

it takes time to work out whats the best path for you but we are here for you while you work things out :hugs:

[SirTrey]

I don't think we ever have to choose, Xaff. We can feel one way one day and a different way the next and then back again. I know it's confusing, but sometimes when we're in the middle, it can swing back and forth without much control and it's okay to just go with it. You don't have to choose one, you can be whoever you feel you are today and tomorrow you can be someone else if that's how you feel. It's all good. :hugs:

I totally agree with Lex here....and he is 100% right....I will give you a few examples from My own life....One is My hair....I am 100% male, think like one, feel like one....but I don't want to cut My hair, so I wear it in a ponytail, etc. Did get seven inches cut, but it's still below My shoulders.....Not because I am a girl, but because I am a longhaired guy....and if I know Kieron, I will get picked on about it when he comes here....being trans is something that each person experiences in their own way....and each has to DO it their own way....No one can tell you how you feel or what is right for you...and no one has the right to judge you, never forget that...It's not about being the man, woman, or both that people THINK you should be....it's about being who you ARE, whoever that is.....and, if that changes from day to day, or even moment to moment, welcome to the trans world....where gender bending is the norm.....read your own tagline again....You do not have to choose anything but to be YOU.....**Trey** :)

[bi_weird]

*hug*
Embrace your confusion! Come over to the dark side! *laughs* Sorry. But seriously, yeah it's confusing, but for me I've just sorta accepted that. You don't HAVE to be anything other than Xaff on any given day. Today you a girl and tomorrow a boy and then next day exactly in the middle. Maybe you fluctuate a lot in your gender identity, so you'll go through peroids where you feel like you fit in here well and peroids where you don't. Maybe you're in the middle somewhere and just haven't figured it out yet. I actually still can't tell which of those two things I am: if my gender changes or I just haven't figured it out yet. It's totally fine, though, to change your mind or just float around in the middle.

[ZenFrost]

*hug*
Embrace your confusion! Come over to the dark side! *laughs* Sorry. But seriously, yeah it's confusing, but for me I've just sorta accepted that. You don't HAVE to be anything other than Xaff on any given day. Today you a girl and tomorrow a boy and then next day exactly in the middle. Maybe you fluctuate a lot in your gender identity, so you'll go through peroids where you feel like you fit in here well and peroids where you don't. Maybe you're in the middle somewhere and just haven't figured it out yet. I actually still can't tell which of those two things I am: if my gender changes or I just haven't figured it out yet. It's totally fine, though, to change your mind or just float around in the middle.

Exactly! It's absolutely fine to be in the middle. Gender doesn't work in extremes, you don't have to be one or the other.

[Dasein9]

My dissertation in a nutshell, just in case it helps:

Gender is Jazz.

No, really. It's all improvisation, and it's all variations on themes, and every day we play it in a new way.

That's really kind of what's cool about it. Some of us just vary the themes more widely than others do.

[Marla S]

Gender is Jazz.

No, really. It's all improvisation, and it's all variations on themes, and every day we play it in a new way.

That's really kind of what's cool about it. Some of us just vary the themes more widely than others do.

May I memorize this ?
Very nice and wise indeed.

[Xaff]

Thanks everyone,

You all have a very good point. That you don't have to choose boy/girl. I indeed live somewhere in the middle for the most times. (grey area) I also like being gender neutral. So people will not know whether I am boy or girl. Than you can do everything you like. And nowhan is looking strange.

It's good to read your stories too, it makes me a lot happier! I know I am not allone, I will never be. Thanks for sharing your feeling too. :D

Xaff,

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Eh no worries, Xaff... I'm in kind of the same boat with you... and it sucks not knowing. But hey - the way I look at it, it's an interesting ride and if I ever do write an autobiography, it'll actually be something worth reading!

Oh, and maybe this will make you smile as much as it made me:
http://http://www.transe-generation.com/archive.asp?pgid=comic&RefID=263 :heehee:

[Kieron Andrew]

http://www.transe-generation.com/archive.asp?pgid=comic&RefID=263

changed the link for you gutherie now it works lol

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

changed the link for you gutherie now it works lol

Thanks! I was just scratching my head over that one, actually. :p

[Kieron Andrew]

Thanks! I was just scratching my head over that one, actually. :p

too many http://. you had 4 instead of 2 lol

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Good to know... oh, and jeez you're quick! :thumbsup:

[Kieron Andrew]

oh, and jeez you're quick! :thumbsup:
:bs: :whistling:

[Dasein9]

May I memorize this ?
Very nice and wise indeed.

I'd be honoured.

Just don't try publishing it until after I've defended the dissertation, eh?

[Xaff]

Oh, and maybe this will make you smile as much as it made me:
http://http://www.transe-generation.com/archive.asp?pgid=comic&RefID=263 :heehee:

lol :heehee: Funny indeed!

[Albtraum]

Okey, remember my treat whith I named: I think I am finished. And that I am happy to be a Tomboy. Well, I was for a while. But since the last time I again have these feelings that I need to get away my boobs, so people think I am a boy.

So now I would like to become a boy again. It's so confusing. On one side I would like to be a Tomboy, on the other side I would like to be a Boy. I don't know???

So from now on I will be a boy! :D (I think)

Nothing wrong with a little confusion, I live in that state most of the time. It's the people who think everything is black/white that get under my skin.

Roll with the flow and enjoy the ride!