Wow. I'm a Jerk!

[Dasein9]

Was going into the stairs for the subway today at Columbus Circle, and these kids were blocking the entrance, trying to push newspapers on people. I had to push past, and said, "Move!" as I did so. One kid started yelling at me and as I was going down the stairs, hit me on the back of the head with his stack of newspapers, nearly pushing me over.

I turned, walked back up the steps, squared my shoulders and just stared him down. He squared up too and met my gaze, but wouldn't stop talking. He asked, "What are ya gonna do?" I said nothing aloud, but in my head, I replied, "Stare at you and make you feel so uncomfortable you'll think twice before doing that again."

The kid backed down.
His boss got between us, all conciliatory smiles toward me.

So, I went into the station, and stopped by the NYPD precinct, which happens to be downstairs and asked the cops to make the kids stop blocking the entrance.

(Why weren't these kids in school? This was at quarter to twelve and it's Friday.)

Hmmm... And what's really amazing is there are people who still don't think I'm a guy.

[Wendy me]

lol your such a guy ..... lol a guy thing for sure ... yar is a big time pain in the butt encounters with rude people ... thing is every encounter we push we have to think the what if's ...what if this person is crazy ??? can i defend my self?? what if this person harms me or worse ?? am i ready for that ??? is my family ready for that ....???...

my opine is avoid it unless it can't be avoided..... it could cost you your life .... lots of craze's out there.....

[Dasein9]

lol your such a guy ..... lol a guy thing for sure ... yar is a big time pain in the butt encounters with rude people ... thing is every encounter we push we have to think the what if's ...what if this person is crazy ??? can i defend my self?? what if this person harms me or worse ?? am i ready for that ??? is my family ready for that ....???...

my opine is avoid it unless it can't be avoided..... it could cost you your life .... lots of craze's out there.....

Yeh, that probably would've been the smarter thing to do -- simply go downstairs and tell the cops without confronting the kid. The odd thing is, I wasn't afraid, and was entirely confident the boy would back down. Of course, it's when we're sure that we're safe that the whammy hits, I guess.

[Wendy me]

lol you would have to meet my "HIM" side lol what a crazy nut ... thats why i know there are crazy people out there .... just be safe.....

[Dasein9]

All was well. But I guess I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about masculinity and aggression. Imagine if I were on T! Oh, dear.

[Wendy me]

All was well. But I guess I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about masculinity and aggression. Imagine if I were on T! Oh, dear.

lol then you would have truly fit in a guy's thinking act first then don't think...just glade it ended good....

[Taylor105]

Oh man that sucks. I would most likely be in jail. My black belt would have gotten me in trouble!!

[Dasein9]

I guess... Maybe. *sigh* So, it's not enough to be a guy; I've also got to figure out how to be a good guy.


And hey, I did get read as male, both by the kid and by the cops. So there's that.

[Wendy me]

I guess... Maybe. *sigh* So, it's not enough to be a guy; I've also got to figure out how to be a good guy.


And hey, I did get read as male, both by the kid and by the cops. So there's that.

hey truer words never spoken .... in this crazy world if more people just thought more and reacted less what a wonderful place it could be..... threats and danger are every were ... better have tact on your sine than a quick word.... again glade it ended well.....

[Kate Simmons]

I guess... Maybe. *sigh* So, it's not enough to be a guy; I've also got to figure out how to be a good guy.


And hey, I did get read as male, both by the kid and by the cops. So there's that.You did good Das. The best part about being a guy is knowing you can do something about it and have the choice. That shows strength of character.:thumbsup::happy:

[Dasein9]

Yeh. It's really weird that people kind of do what I tell them to so much, even when there's nothing I can do about it if they don't. They just kind of... do.

[dancinginthedark]

I don't see this as necessarily a bad thing dasein. The kid learned a valuable lesson I'm thinking. You cannot simply hit someone, or bop them in the back of the head with a stack of newspaper. And you should not disrespect someone. If you do you better be able to back up your attitude with something more than a newspaper and a big mouth.

And this boy and his friends what did they learn? You just taught those boys a real lesson on how to stand proud and another way to be a man. Those lasting lessons on being a man seldom end in violence. They end in some change taken place, and I'm thinking in time that kid is going to do something. He'll grow. You did what his parents and teachers seem to have missed or peer pressure to fit in corrupted. --- You taught him a life lesson he can use.

Some life lessons stand up just fine on courage and principal. You have both. Good for you. :thumbsup: You're no jerk.

I'm not discounting Wendy's valid points, just pointing out the possible good you did. K?

dancin


`

[ZenFrost]

I don't think you're a jerk. There's nothing wrong with standing your ground when someone else has done you wrong. I'm glad he backed down though, it could've been a big problem if he didn't.

[Marcie Sexton]

There is no doubt I'd went to jail, I'd snatched up the brat and slapped him up side the head with his own papers...


Disrespectful people is one thing I detest most !!!!!!!!

[BarbaraTalbot]

..in my younger days. I had a lot of people assuming they could pick me without consequences.

It escalated for me to be a little Napoleonic. I developed a pretty effective thousand yard stare.

I decided that for me it was becoming a problem when for about the third time I got out of my VW Bug at a light, walked forward a car or two and physically hauled motorists out of their cars for re-education.

I DO NOT recommend this, but I still smile at them cowering in fear, as I in a polite tone explained that the next guy they cut off that way might be less understanding than I.

Everyone is brave in the cocoon of their car. To paint the picture though, at the time I was probably 125lbs and 5' 7-8". Each of them were considerably bigger.

They made a reasonable assumption. No guy my size would have done that if I wasn't either armed or extremely well trained. The truth is I was un-armed and foolhardy.

Your silence I'm sure was as un-nerving as your stare. Most people announce their intentions and do nothing. Those that don't actually threaten are usually more dangerous.

[Albtraum]

Yeh. It's really weird that people kind of do what I tell them to so much, even when there's nothing I can do about it if they don't. They just kind of... do.

Apparently you have more presence than you give yourself credit for. Good for you!

Teens are famous for their yada yada what ya gonna do? Then it's shove back and forth, kind of a ritual dance. It's called getting your courage up and saving face. Don't play their game.

Stand your ground and if it does get physical, drop 'em in their tracks. Don't fiddle foot around, knock 'em down with the first punch and make sure they stay down.

If they've got a knife or there's 3 against your 1, get out of there. No point in getting crazy.

Have you ever taken a self defense class or worked out in a gym? It's good to know your capabilities. You'll have more confidence and a little practice.

I saw my Dad (well in his 50's) look a 25-30ish guy in the eyes and told him to do whatever he thought best. The guy cussed and threatened, but never went any further. Of course what the younger guy didn't know was that Dad kept a Hog Leg in the glove compartment of his pickup. I don't know if Dad even considered it over a traffic incident, but if he went down he was going to go down swinging. A black eye or fat lip won't kill you. Oh yeah, he kept a set of brass knucks in his back pocket, never used them that I knew of. Five foot eight and built like a Westinghouse Refrigerator.

When those three cords stood out in Dad's neck, you knew if you messed with him you'd have to kill him to stop him. He wasn't a big man, but he had presence.

Try and stay out of trouble Das, I won't worry unless I see you on the 11:00 'o' clock news:eek:

[Melanie85]

lol you would have to meet my "HIM" side lol what a crazy nut ... thats why i know there are crazy people out there .... just be safe.....

That's why I carry a knife and some pepper spray... even if pep. spray might just aggravate people more.... but hey, these things give me a false sense of safety...

If someone ever does attack you it would be good to have a knife and use it to slash at your attacker's abdomen so when you run away, he can't follow you because running requires your abdominal muscles to move, and your mind will do anything to NOT make those wounded muscles move. (trust me, I got operated twice on my abdomen) But then again there's also adrenaline and anger... but I think as long as someone's life is not threatened and they only act for retribution while wounded those things will wear off quickly, I dunno... I'm not a fightologist

At the very least stabbing someone in the abdomen would make her think twice, and isn't immediately life-threatening (yeah that's right, I said 'her'... cause people tend to assume only men are evil aggressors, and by extension, that women are always helpless victims needing protection... but I'm getting way too off-topic)

I'm not a expert or anything and I never had to defend myself... these are just my opinions.



All was well. But I guess I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about masculinity and aggression. Imagine if I were on T! Oh, dear.

Nah dude you did good. That kid was a jerk, you were like... an anti-jerk?...

The male me would not have thought of staring him down, I avoid these kinds of confrontations and just suck it up like I always did, but if I were forced, not knowing what to do, I'd probably go right to the physical.

Besides, you stood up for yourself, stood up against injustice something that all genders need to do more often. Give yourself a hug, or a good pat on the back.

[Kieron Andrew]

ok thats it! we need Das this weekend to push all the jerks out the way of the chair lol

[Dasein9]

Apparently you have more presence than you give yourself credit for. Good for you!

Teens are famous for their yada yada what ya gonna do? Then it's shove back and forth, kind of a ritual dance. It's called getting your courage up and saving face. Don't play their game.

Stand your ground and if it does get physical, drop 'em in their tracks. Don't fiddle foot around, knock 'em down with the first punch and make sure they stay down.

If they've got a knife or there's 3 against your 1, get out of there. No point in getting crazy.

Have you ever taken a self defense class or worked out in a gym? It's good to know your capabilities. You'll have more confidence and a little practice.

I saw my Dad (well in his 50's) look a 25-30ish guy in the eyes and told him to do whatever he thought best. The guy cussed and threatened, but never went any further. Of course what the younger guy didn't know was that Dad kept a Hog Leg in the glove compartment of his pickup. I don't know if Dad even considered it over a traffic incident, but if he went down he was going to go down swinging. A black eye or fat lip won't kill you. Oh yeah, he kept a set of brass knucks in his back pocket, never used them that I knew of. Five foot eight and built like a Westinghouse Refrigerator.

When those three cords stood out in Dad's neck, you knew if you messed with him you'd have to kill him to stop him. He wasn't a big man, but he had presence.

Try and stay out of trouble Das, I won't worry unless I see you on the 11:00 'o' clock news:eek:

Hey, I know you! Welcome to the guys' side!

The thing is, I don't actually believe in fighting. Probably should take a self-defense course, but haven't yet.

This is not to say I haven't fought. The ex was 13" taller than I and 100 lbs. heavier. I won our last fight. I think it really does come down to adrenaline -- I knew my life was in danger, and that gave me the advantage.

[Albtraum]

You don't have to fight if you don't want to, but you might have to defend yourself like you did with your ex.

If an opponent senses fear, they tend to push you harder. Like the stare down contest, you stood your ground and you won without having to fight.

My Dad wouldn't start a fight, but he wouldn't have backed down from Ahnold either. Stubborn guy.

Maybe this country mouse doesn't understand the concrete jungle very well. That's O.K., different strokes.

Once (as a hormonal teen) I got into a fight in town, got my butt thoroughly whipped and drove home much the worse for wear. Dad asked me what happened and why I was fighting (I was standing up for a friend). He asked me if I had won or lost. Then he told me to go look this guy up and finish it.

I told him I couldn't, I had tried. He told me that since I was still standing, I hadn't tried hard enough. I went back to town and plowed into him and won.

Now you probably think I'm a Neanderthal. Just the way I was raised and I did feel pretty good when I saw the look on his face when I told the guy I was ready for another round.

Many won't agree with that kind of thinking. Nothing I can do about it, I guess.