Holly
03-27-2005, 02:30 PM
A Note to the Moderator: I hope you will alow this thread to stay in the MtF forum as I do believe it directly relates to issues we as crossdressers face... however, if you truely feel it is more appropriate in the lounge, I understand.
The following commentary was aired on radio station KNX in Los Angeles on March 24th of this year and is produced by www.somthingyoushouldknow.net (http://www.somthingyoushouldknow.net/). Their program is carried on radio stations throughout the United States and you can get a listing of those stations by visiting their website ( http://www.somethingyoushouldknow.net/index.htm ) to see if it is available in your area. I was just curious as to what the rest of you ladies feelings are about the thoughts put forward on men and women and their relationships. Do you think that women should be encouraged to lower their expectations of men… that men not capable communicating with them at a level necessary to promote healthy relationships? Do you believe, as the author contends, that most women shame men for having inadequate communication skills that are not on a par with those of women? IMO, Mr. Freidman has a pretty low opinion of the capacities of men to relate to women in a meaningful manner… unless, of course, women are willing to compromise. All comments are welcome, particularly those from our GG members!
Mike Carruthers:
By definition, men and women bring different things to a marriage, but interestingly...
Martin Friedman :
The message that men have gotten from women - at least a lot of women - is that we're wrong. That we need to be more like women, we need to listen more like women, talk more like women and I think that's a mistake.
Martin Freidman, author of the book, Straight Talk For Men About Marriage.
The way that that is often translated to men is that we get more criticism and when men get criticism we feel shame. Men take criticism as shaming; meaning that we haven't performed, that we haven't taken care of our women and so on. So 1 of the things I really encourage women to do is let men communicate like men. Can we improve, can we listen better and talk about what we think and feel better? Sure. But we're never going to do it up to the standards of women and the way women do.
Men can't be like women, says Martin, because, well, we're men! So it would be helpful if women would lower that expectation.
So first of all, let us communicate that way. Secondly, let us perform and be heroes in whatever way we can. Men want to feel like heroes. And third we need appreciation. Instead of making us wrong and criticizing, we need a lot of appreciation. So those are some of the things I tell women that their part of this is.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net, I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.
The following commentary was aired on radio station KNX in Los Angeles on March 24th of this year and is produced by www.somthingyoushouldknow.net (http://www.somthingyoushouldknow.net/). Their program is carried on radio stations throughout the United States and you can get a listing of those stations by visiting their website ( http://www.somethingyoushouldknow.net/index.htm ) to see if it is available in your area. I was just curious as to what the rest of you ladies feelings are about the thoughts put forward on men and women and their relationships. Do you think that women should be encouraged to lower their expectations of men… that men not capable communicating with them at a level necessary to promote healthy relationships? Do you believe, as the author contends, that most women shame men for having inadequate communication skills that are not on a par with those of women? IMO, Mr. Freidman has a pretty low opinion of the capacities of men to relate to women in a meaningful manner… unless, of course, women are willing to compromise. All comments are welcome, particularly those from our GG members!
Mike Carruthers:
By definition, men and women bring different things to a marriage, but interestingly...
Martin Friedman :
The message that men have gotten from women - at least a lot of women - is that we're wrong. That we need to be more like women, we need to listen more like women, talk more like women and I think that's a mistake.
Martin Freidman, author of the book, Straight Talk For Men About Marriage.
The way that that is often translated to men is that we get more criticism and when men get criticism we feel shame. Men take criticism as shaming; meaning that we haven't performed, that we haven't taken care of our women and so on. So 1 of the things I really encourage women to do is let men communicate like men. Can we improve, can we listen better and talk about what we think and feel better? Sure. But we're never going to do it up to the standards of women and the way women do.
Men can't be like women, says Martin, because, well, we're men! So it would be helpful if women would lower that expectation.
So first of all, let us communicate that way. Secondly, let us perform and be heroes in whatever way we can. Men want to feel like heroes. And third we need appreciation. Instead of making us wrong and criticizing, we need a lot of appreciation. So those are some of the things I tell women that their part of this is.
At somethingyoushouldknow.net, I'm Mike Carruthers and that's Something You Should Know.