Michelle Ellis
10-06-2007, 04:04 PM
It happened a couple weeks ago when my sister came to visit, it was saturday night, between the hours of 12am and 4am... lots of tears, lots of anxiety. My folks told my sister how depressed I was and she was determined to drag it out of me, bless her, because if she had not been so persistent it probly wouldn't have happened. In fact I never did say... I was so upset and the words were not coming that I finally just took off one of my socks and showed her my painted toe nails (sheesh) but it worked, she's no dummy, she got it right away. She asked all the right questions and I answered them honestly as best as I could. I was amazed at how much she already knows about all this. But she had NO idea about me whatsoever... that surprised me, a lot.
I've been in a daze since that nite, not knowing if I was any better for coming out. I realized a couple of days ago tho that I'm not wishing I were dead every second of every day anymore. Instead I feel so much more at peace, I can't explain it, it wasn't instant, but a gradual thing I realized over time. How can you thank someone for something like that?
So far she's the only one that knows, and it will likely stay that way for a while.
My sis told me that I should come to her place to stay for a while, so I'm leaving next week for several days, my birthday was just last week so were celebrating that too. She has been SO understanding and supportive I can hardly keep from breaking up each time I think of it. My sis used to be a beautician, and is going to help me out with just about everything from makeup to hair to a big shopping trip we've got planned, she even mentioned taking me to Victoria's Secret LOL :o and most importantly we're going to talk, a lot...
I'm to bring all my stuff too... that will be a scary moment for sure when she finally sees me.
So there it is, I finally feel good enough to post this. I want to thank all my friends here for beating it into my head the fact that I needed to come out... you were all so right.
Thanks everyone
M
I've been in a daze since that nite, not knowing if I was any better for coming out. I realized a couple of days ago tho that I'm not wishing I were dead every second of every day anymore. Instead I feel so much more at peace, I can't explain it, it wasn't instant, but a gradual thing I realized over time. How can you thank someone for something like that?
So far she's the only one that knows, and it will likely stay that way for a while.
My sis told me that I should come to her place to stay for a while, so I'm leaving next week for several days, my birthday was just last week so were celebrating that too. She has been SO understanding and supportive I can hardly keep from breaking up each time I think of it. My sis used to be a beautician, and is going to help me out with just about everything from makeup to hair to a big shopping trip we've got planned, she even mentioned taking me to Victoria's Secret LOL :o and most importantly we're going to talk, a lot...
I'm to bring all my stuff too... that will be a scary moment for sure when she finally sees me.
So there it is, I finally feel good enough to post this. I want to thank all my friends here for beating it into my head the fact that I needed to come out... you were all so right.
Thanks everyone
M