Two months off HRT

[Scotty]

So - This is more of a blog I think, maybe to get people thinking.

I went off HRT two months ago, had some digestive issues that seem to have resolved themselves but also found out there are certain foods I cannot eat (at least on HRT) - Dairy is one of them.

All the same, my libido came back, sometimes strong sometimes not at all....

So I decided to start dating again. This is where it gets tricky.

I go out on dates with some good looking gals and there's this dark hidden secret of mine obviously. Would they ever know if I did not tell them?
Doubtful, my hips are not as big as a GG unless you see me in the buff.
The breasts - tough call - that's what I think about .
The emotional side of having the secret - really tough call - doubtful I want to tell anyone up front but sooner or later perhaps - depends on the circumstances.
The breasts though - I wouldn't trade them for the world - but first time I'm with a woman will be the real test.
There are guys that naturally have bigger breasts than mine.
Mine are not man-boobs though - they are round and curvy half A cup female looking breasts.

This is why I do not transition, I have my male side and still enjoy it as well.

I've been doing a LOT of reading on Native American "Two-Spirited" people.
This is where I fall in at. I have my male side and I have my femme side and most of my guy friends kid me about my femme side but are completley OK with what they know....
And I think they respect that I'm not even ashamed to admit I have a femme side (If only they knew how far!)......


So if you are thinking about going on HRT these are things for you to think about. Let alone going swimming in public.
I really would enjoy some female company from time to time, in bed as well!!!
But I took a good look after a shower last night and my body is definitely half femme - and there's no hiding it!!!
Nor would I want to, I just have to find balance is all.
I think I'm going to be VERY nervous the first time with a woman after HRT...

Things to think about ladies...

[Maggie Kay]

Certainly a lot of issues here! Not to mention that you may be sterile too. I know that for me HRT is and always was a one way street. I knew that at my age, I had my three children and it was no loss. I feel so much better on HRT that to stop seems like volunteering to get sick.
I am interested to see how this goes for you. My wife is not interested in me in bed since I feminized my body. She liked that body hair and rougher skin and well, that other thing....

[AmberTG]

This will be an interesting thread! I've thought about these things a lot too, but I decided that I don't ever want to go back to the testosterone drive, I hated that, I had no control over it.
I really don't know how far I'm going to go with transition, I have a lot more patience with it now. When I get as far as I need to go, I'll stop there. I know that I am also "two spirited" but the male part comes out mostly in my recreational activities, I would like a relationship with a woman, but I'm just not interested in male sexual activity.
I guess we all have our own needs and perspective.
Keep us up to date on what's going on with you, I'll be looking forward to it!:D

[Scotty]

Certainly a lot of issues here! Not to mention that you may be sterile too.

Vasectomy 7 years ago took care of that.

Yeah I have to admit, despite the depression of lack of T, I enjoyed being on HRT......and I can still do the androcur or alternative method - no issues there. I miss it VERY much - it's amazing, simply AMAZING how much it changes your mental thinking. It's HARD getting back in a guy mode.....VERY difficult!!!

My T and/or Libido does not seem to be up where it used to be, in fact it's about 1/3rd, *IF* that......but functional. But I still have the benefits of no major hair growth on my legs, a LOT of those benefits are still with me!!!!

There is some permanency to HRT......breasts and hips included :D

[Joy Carter]

Scottie, I read where there is some reversal when going off HRT. It didn't say how much and in what amount of time.
Have you experienced any to this point ?

[MJ]

Let alone going swimming in public.
I really would enjoy some female company from time to time, in bed as well!!!
But I took a good look after a shower last night and my body is definitely half femme - and there's no hiding it!!!
Nor would I want to, I just have to find balance is all.
I think I'm going to be VERY nervous the first time with a woman after HRT...

Things to think about ladies...

the hard part trying to understand were we as a person fit in , and how far we should go , i wish you well .. with the ladies thank you for an interesting post

[christinewis]

you are not alone in your feelings Hun. I will definetly look up the native american "two spirits" because what you describe. Thank you for a beautiful thought provoking sharing of yourself. christine

[Tabathasiren]

Fascinating post Scottie! And food for thought. Thanks for that.. How long where you on Hrt before stopping? Just curious. Hope my question is not out of line.

Tabatha


So - This is more of a blog I think, maybe to get people thinking.

I went off HRT two months ago, had some digestive issues that seem to have resolved themselves but also found out there are certain foods I cannot eat (at least on HRT) - Dairy is one of them.

All the same, my libido came back, sometimes strong sometimes not at all....

So I decided to start dating again. This is where it gets tricky.

I go out on dates with some good looking gals and there's this dark hidden secret of mine obviously. Would they ever know if I did not tell them?
Doubtful, my hips are not as big as a GG unless you see me in the buff.
The breasts - tough call - that's what I think about .
The emotional side of having the secret - really tough call - doubtful I want to tell anyone up front but sooner or later perhaps - depends on the circumstances.
The breasts though - I wouldn't trade them for the world - but first time I'm with a woman will be the real test.
There are guys that naturally have bigger breasts than mine.
Mine are not man-boobs though - they are round and curvy half A cup female looking breasts.

This is why I do not transition, I have my male side and still enjoy it as well.

I've been doing a LOT of reading on Native American "Two-Spirited" people.
This is where I fall in at. I have my male side and I have my femme side and most of my guy friends kid me about my femme side but are completley OK with what they know....
And I think they respect that I'm not even ashamed to admit I have a femme side (If only they knew how far!)......


So if you are thinking about going on HRT these are things for you to think about. Let alone going swimming in public.
I really would enjoy some female company from time to time, in bed as well!!!
But I took a good look after a shower last night and my body is definitely half femme - and there's no hiding it!!!
Nor would I want to, I just have to find balance is all.
I think I'm going to be VERY nervous the first time with a woman after HRT...

Things to think about ladies...

[melissaK]

I love the thread. Like a soap opera - characters you know, and you never know what tomorrow will bring . . . :happy:

As for two-spirits, a decent reference for all of us is "Transgender Emergence" by Arelene Istar Lev (Haworth Clinic Practice Press, 2004). She surveys the native american two spirits at pp. 59-60 as well as similar transgendered traditions in other cultures, including the Hirja of India, and other times in history (Roman emperor Nero transformed a male slave to look like his ex-wife, then married the slave; Emperor Elagabalus was castrated so he could be a true woman).

Lev doesn't provide an exhaustive history of the two spirit concept, but gives enought to be interesting. She says "the expression of gender variance has been documented in more than 155 North American tribes and was a saliant feature of Indian life. . . . The 'berdach' often serve a mediating function between women and men precisely because their character is seen as distinct from either sex."

Lev does give footnotes to follow up on the more extensive writings of others. She cites secondary sources quoting:

Roscoe 1998,
Tafoya and Wirth 1996,
Bowen 1998,
Williams 1992,
Bullogh and Bullogh 1992
Most of the primary sources she cites are Gay reference materials. Apparantly the native american two spirit concept is a catch all used to group many presentations. She says: "The term is not without problems, since it can be used to describe gay, lesbian, and bisexual indians . . . " But that battle over classification semantics is nothing new - we seem to indulge in it regularly on these boards. :heehee:

Hugs,
'lissa

[Scotty]

I agree that two-spirits is over used to represent much more of a broad category.
I was quite specific in my use as I believe I fit into this realm.

I cannot find the first site that I read on it but this is a GREAT read on it.
http://www.androphile.org/preview/Culture/NativeAmerica/amerindian.htm

Also wikipidia has a great read too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berdache

[melissaK]

Scottie, great links and nice reading. Where's Calliope? Seems she should chime in on this as IMHO she to would fit the two-spirit criteria too; live as a woman, but w/o SRS.

And what, if anything, does it say of our WASP traditions, that a two-spirited person's 'most accepted' options are SRS or closeted denial? Do I dare say I still hear Bob Dylan singing "The Times They Are a Changin."

Hugs,
'lissa

[helenr]

Hi, may I share my experiences with anti androgens and estrogen. What I find most fascinating and surprising in the radical reduction in sexual libido, how I view women, and my increased study of breasts. I formerly looked at most women from a sexual thought mode-not anything hurtful, just slight lust. Now I see them as beautiful creations that I admire and wish I could be like. I love women still, enjoy their company, their talk, but I don't truly think GGs are interested in a hybrid male-women don't truly like men-as friends, confidants, etc-just for financial help, lifting heavy items, and sex toys (this is my biased perspective). Finally, as I have hard to hide breasts with fairly puffy nipples, I have started to look at GGs and envy their wonderful breasts-I don't have any wish for size D breasts, just some nice full B cups with that great bounce. I doubt any GGs would be interested in a man with breasts, but maybe I am wrong. Having been in the closet as far as my transvestism for nearly all my 60 years, it is interesting that now I have to make an effort to hide my modest 'endowment' when I am in public. best to you all. helen

[joanne2b]

Hi, Am going through a similar experience having been on HRT for ten months a decision taken after 50 yrs of fighting my desire and wanting to feminise On seeing the changes to my body particularily breast growth and thickening of my hair + slow re-growth of body hair which was negligable in the first place and a total lack of sexual function of the male parts I have taken a break from HRT for the past month, mistake, yes the male functioning is returning to a degree, unwanted, that feelgood factor has gone, I so miss the sensitivity of slightly painful nipples and the extatic feeling when my breasts/nipples would be brushed against or touched so for me its back on the HRT, how far will i go, don't know but I would like to think all the way.:hugs:

We all know that taking HRT is not for recreation and the changes are there for ever even if they diminish to a degree if stopped, why do we start in the first place, curiosity perhaps or to fullfill a dream, each to their own but no matter what, once experienced sometime or other you will go back for that femm feeling. Oh yes, the issue of being on a beach proved to be a point of interest last week in the Canaries, are they or arn't they i could read their minds but I now have a lovely tan over my bust and i enjoyed the looks!!:love: