Newbie Needs Help

[halfman_halfamazing]

Well i'm new here and this is just a piece of my story slash call for help.I made a second life as a guy online when I was twelve. Little did I know I'd end up falling in love with a girl. We've been together for a year and are completely and utterly in love. She's from Tennessee and she's coming here on November 16. She has no idea I'm really a girl. My mom and sister know I'm bi but don't know that my girlfriend thinks I'm a guy.
Therefore I have no money to spend, and nothing for underneath my clothes. I have no job, no car and no id that says I'm male. I thought about a credit card so maybe I could order some stuff but I'm just totally lost :hmmm: help?

[Cai]

You're gonna have to tell her. Really, unless you were COMPLETELY stealth, you couldn't hide something like this. Unless you have a lot of practice, it's hard to pass consistently at a glance, let alone with someone you'll be spending a lot of time with in close company.

IMO, you should have told her a long time ago.

[Kieron Andrew]

Well i'm new here and this is just a piece of my story slash call for help.I made a second life as a guy online when I was twelve. Little did I know I'd end up falling in love with a girl. We've been together for a year and are completely and utterly in love. She's from Tennessee and she's coming here on November 16. She has no idea I'm really a girl. My mom and sister know I'm bi but don't know that my girlfriend thinks I'm a guy.
Therefore I have no money to spend, and nothing for underneath my clothes. I have no job, no car and no id that says I'm male. I thought about a credit card so maybe I could order some stuff but I'm just totally lost :hmmm: help?

sorry i think its time you came clean, you could end up really getting hurt with this when she comes and you are gonna inevitably going to end up hurting her with your lies.....lying to someone is never a good idea, especially with the reality of meeting


PS welcome...please go do a proper intro in the introduction section

[Dasein9]

I'm with Cai and Kieron on the honesty thing. She has a right to know.

That said, if you're transgender, or genderqueer, or a masculine female, or identify in a way that makes this a good place for you to be, then this is a good place for support. Welcome.

[Tristan]

If you want to have an honest relationship with someone, unfortunately this is a reality you have to face. I know being trans gendered (if that's how you identify) isn't easy especially where romantic interests are concerned, but a trust can't be established if you withhold something that obvious. It's really a hard thing to hide, and it can turn into a dangerous game as well. It's not necessarily a deal breaker either, but the sooner you tell this girl, the better. I told my boyfriend of a year and a half from online within the first four weeks we met that I was trans, since then we have met in real life, and faced the trans stuff together. It has worked out, lucky for me, but I feel like if I had withheld that information until we met, the story would be much different.

[Anthony Jake]

Well i'm new here and this is just a piece of my story slash call for help.I made a second life as a guy online when I was twelve. Little did I know I'd end up falling in love with a girl. We've been together for a year and are completely and utterly in love. She's from Tennessee and she's coming here on November 16. She has no idea I'm really a girl. My mom and sister know I'm bi but don't know that my girlfriend thinks I'm a guy.
Therefore I have no money to spend, and nothing for underneath my clothes. I have no job, no car and no id that says I'm male. I thought about a credit card so maybe I could order some stuff but I'm just totally lost :hmmm: help?

you really need to tell her the truth, and i think before you meet her.. chances are she wont be too happy, it is very difficult for people to understand, she will feel like you have cheated her.. you really need to build relationships on honesty and trust, by not being truthfull to her the relationship will have no foundations.. plus she will be really angry i would think to travel to see you only to find you are not who she thought you were.. you need to try to explain things to her.. and if she doesnt understand then you will have to start anew.. i know this sounds harsh, but i know from experience lies only cause hurt.
There are only really two outcomes in the situation, one she will be accepting and two she wont.. and you need to find the answer and build on that, perhaps in time she would understand?
Have you not sent her any pictures of yourself or anything? How old is she?

[ZenFrost]

This is going to be really hard, and the risks are very high and very real (you could lose her) but you have to tell her. It would be best to approach the subject carefully to gauge her reaction first. For instance, bring up transgenderism to see what she thinks about it. Try to convince her it's what's on the inside that counts. If you can get her to accept that, you can let her know that you were born female.

If this really is love, this will shake it but not break it. If it isn't love, you'll be much better off sparing yourself pain down the road. And however things turn out, you can come back here and we'll be here to offer you support (though I think a proper introduction is in order. :smilep:)

Please feel free to post and get acquainted with this forum, we love getting new members.

[CaptLex]

Welcome, newbie! :wave: So what do we call you, Ron? Hector? :happy:

I have nothing to add to the advice that the guys gave you, and I concur that you should break the news to her. I hope it goes well, but if it doesn't, we're here to listen.

You guys are all awesome . . . did I ever tell you that? :hugs:

[Tristan]

I'm not at all in favor of you not being honest with this girl, but I realized none of us have really given you any advice for your question on how to pass. Though beyond passing with clothes on, I don't have much help on how you can go beyond that level and still convince her you are male. The hard facts are it's a long and expensive process to transition from female to male. Three months psych therapy to get on hormones, up to two years for hormones to fully work. About 6-10k for top surgery, and the bottom surgeries are improving but still pretty mediocre for the price that can start at about 30k and only go up from there. Even with all of that you will most likely still have scars. For day to day passing, most of use a binder to hide our chests. I prefer underworks, they aren't overly expensive, and they are designed just for the purpose of binding breasts. http://ftm.underworks.com/

There are other ways to bind too, but this is the only effective method I have used. I do want to say though do not try the ace bandages from everything I've read this is very bad because it can restrict your breathing.

This is a site that has a lot more advice then I've given but I have used it's links a fair bit.

http://www.geocities.com/FTMpass/passing.html

[bi_weird]

:-/ I haven't got anything helpful to offer you 'cept some brownies. Hope you figure it out.