got rid of some heels today

[DeniseNJ]

Well today was a day of getting stuff done with the wife. Mind you she is not supportive or accepting. In the begining of our relationship we had fun with my dressing not anymore. We were shopping at a local department storeand as she was looking for clothes for her , I started looking at panties. She saw me and says {What r u doing} I said looking at panties, she knows I have a couple pair . I follow her around and then I get the nerve to ask, do you mind is I get a pair, at first it was NO then she gave in and said Ok just one pair. Got me a cocco brown satin and lace D:heehee:elta Burke pair On to the Avenue , my wife is + size what do my eyes see BUT size 12 W wedges and heels and sandles on sale for $9.99. My wife bought 2 pair of shoes mean while I was scopeing out heels for me. Well tonight I am going back to try on a few pair with out her, slipping on a pair of Knee highs with my polished toes. Hope all goes well. I did get rid of a pair of maryjanes patent BLk, peep toe flat blk sling backs and a pair of Yes I'm a tramp 4 1/2" open toe white mules all in good shape. I never owned a pair of wedges so tonight I might have to muy a pair... They even had size 13 on display... I never dreamed they would have heels in that SIZE ON DISPLAY. I am telling the wife that I am heading to Goodwill to donate the shoes and then to the Avenue :cheer: any suggestions when I go or should I just start trying on heels wish me luck!!!! I am so excited.. PS: the wife got a good glimse of my toes today and told me to TAKE that crap off, I said it isn't a real dark color, I/m not bothering anyone... She said it's bothering me!!! My feet look good with my polished toes but she won't admitt it. She ended the conversation with,{Why did I ever get involved with you OH:: and she got a free pair of Pantyhose for opening up a charge at the Avenue, guess who picked out the pair :heehee: Yes there for me I/m such a girl!!!

[Lisa Marie]

If I was you id get a divorce from her and tell her I'm doing whatever I please!

[DeniseNJ]

I hear ya Laura ::: easier said then done :(

[Billijo49504]

It's just my opinion, but if you are paying the bills and ffor her shopping, I think she should have some concideration for you...BJ

[Ðarissa]

I've never been married but I don't think I would last long under such circumstances.

[Ema1234 GG]

Does she not have a say in the relationship?

She tells you that's she's not comfortable with things yet you do them anyway. How is she supposed to come to terms with anything when you just walk all over her feelings.

I'm actually quite disgusted that you think it's something to be proud of, the fact that you completely disregard her feelings on it. Perhaps if you took things a bit more slowly, instead of just doing whatever you wanted, she'd be able to deal with more than she currently can.

There is more than just one person in a relationship.

[jaina]

Does she not have a say in the relationship?

She tells you that's she's not comfortable with things yet you do them anyway. How is she supposed to come to terms with anything when you just walk all over her feelings.

I'm actually quite disgusted that you think it's something to be proud of, the fact that you completely disregard her feelings on it. Perhaps if you took things a bit more slowly, instead of just doing whatever you wanted, she'd be able to deal with more than she currently can.

There is more than just one person in a relationship.

When it comes to gender identity, NO she doesn't have any say.
Its not something she can or has the right to try to control. Maybe she can't deal with it, fine . No one has to let another control them. Leaving is always an option.

[Ema1234 GG]

Jaina, clearly you don't understand that the majority of happy relationships out there are about compromise. If you love someone dearly and want to be with them unfortunately that can sometimes mean you can't do absoloutely everything you want to do.

Now if a CD was 100% honest with their SO at the start of the relationship and made their partner completely aware of their crossdressing before they became involved then yes I'd be inclined to agree that it would be wrong for their SO to then point out they weren't happy with it. Afterall, they knew before they got involved.

Now for many SO's, they have no idea when they enter the relationship. Quite often marriage and children can come before being told about it. And then the CD just expects us to deal with their every whim and be happy about it. :rolleyes:

But oh I'm sorry, of course everything is about the CD. How dare the SO have a say in what their partner does. I've got two words. Pink Fog.

[jaina]

Now if a CD was 100% honest with their SO at the start of the relationship and made their partner completely aware of their crossdressing before they became involved then yes I'd be inclined to agree that it would be wrong for their SO to then point out they weren't happy with it. Afterall, they knew before they got involved.

Now for many SO's, they have no idea when they enter the relationship. Quite often marriage and children can come before being told about it. And then the CD just expects us to deal with their every whim and be happy about it. :rolleyes:

But oh I'm sorry, of course everything is about the CD. How dare the SO have a say in what their partner does. I've got two words. Pink Fog.

I agree truth in the early stages of a relationship. However once you know you can't use when you were told as a tool of oppression. You know about it now, Deal with it or if it is such a big issue that you can't deal with it end the relationship. You can't compromise someone into not being black, asian, TG, crossdresser, gay etc.

[Ema1234 GG]

It's not oppression it's called compromise. And no-one's saying they can't crossdress. It's called having consideration for other people's feelings, I'm sorry but the world does not revole around a single person. Doesn't matter what it's about, crossdressing or not, you can't have everything your way all the time. :rolleyes:

To bring it back to the original subject of this thread, I do think you should show a little bit more consideration for your wife's feelings. She's probably really struggling to come to terms with your dressing.

Why not sit down with her and try and work it out, trying to find a middle ground where you are both comfortable. The more you push her the more likely she is to not be happy with anything at all. Let her go at her own pace and she may surprise you and be comfortable with more and more things.

I think at the moment she's not happy about shopping with you, if you are out shopping with her leave it at that. You can always buy things for yourself at another time. In time she might want to go shopping with you and actually enjoy it, rather than it being something that's uncomfortable for both of you.

[DeniseNJ]

[QUOTE=Ema1234 GG;1041839]Jaina,

PS Your right Ema this in not the time or place to post such things

[janet1234]

we have more facts, it is apparent that your domestic problem is far more serious than just the question of being a CD. You probably have to address the serious problem first, perhaps CD will take care of itself later on.

[Ema1234 GG]

Wow, once again an SO who gets flamed just for daring to stick up for a fellow SO. I really do wonder what the point is sometimes...

I'm sorry but as far as I'm concerned you've got far bigger worries than her stopping you crossdressing. And no I wouldn't approve of my SO ruining my life, I wouldn't be in the relationship at all. But then again, this thread wasn't about that was it, it was about her stopping you from doing some of the things you would like to do for with your dressing.

How on earth you seem to expect people to know what you don't post I have no idea. Yes I do feel sorry for you in such a relationship, but an internet forum is neither the time or the place to discuss such things. Real professional help is needed in my opinion.

I'm not saying all the other things that your SO is doing are right, far from it, but I'm sick of how when someone posts on her about how their SO might stop them from doing a particular part of their dressing how everyone starts to slate the SO, how dare they do such a thing.

But then again, SO's aren't really welcome here are they.

[Angela Sheers]

Its all well and good sneaking and lying behind her back, but wouldn't it be a lot better for both of you if you sat down and rekindled what you had at the beginning when you told her?

[DeniseNJ]

This thread went off topic sorry I will edit my post from before Just speaking of like experiences

[crunchysoda]

My post may be irrevelant since there's some much deeper issues (that have been edited out), but I too am shocked by the "advice" here.

It's all "well and good to hide and lie" and "Who care if you werent honest she knows now, she can deal or leave" and "get a divorce."

Real mature. :rolleyes:

Believe me if my partner had similar beliefs, these boots would be long gone.

[Tamara Croft]

If I was you id get a divorce from her and tell her I'm doing whatever I please!Great advice, really good, I hope you're not married, because I feel sorry for the person if you are...


I hear ya Laura ::: easier said then done :(Easier? wow, you really have so much respect and love for your wife don't you eh?


It's just my opinion, but if you are paying the bills and ffor her shopping, I think she should have some concideration for you...BJWTF? what century do you live in?


I've never been married but I don't think I would last long under such circumstances.Well thank God for miracles, don't ever get married... you obviously wouldn't have a clue either...


When it comes to gender identity, NO she doesn't have any say.
Its not something she can or has the right to try to control. Maybe she can't deal with it, fine . No one has to let another control them. Leaving is always an option.You're still here? thought you were leaving... no? oh my bad... still here with the obnoxious attitude aren't you...

I really can't believe some of the replies to this thread, infact I'm utterly disgusted to think that some of you really think this is a great way to treat a loved one and if things aren't going right, well hey, leave, get a divorce, F the wife and move on.... excellent attitude, great advice, I applaud you, you've shown me just how much love there is in a relationship....

You know what DeniseNJ, you should leave and divorce her, because she certainly does NOT deserve a selfish, inconsiderate, me me me, I want it all on a plate and I can't wait... person like you. SHE DESERVES SOMEONE THAT LOVES HER... AND YOU CERTAINLY HAVE SHOWN YOU COME FIRST... SELFISH :censor:

It's no wonder society has a bloody big problem with MTF CD's, threads like this just prove that there is that small minority making it bad for the good ones, you make me flaming sick to my stomach!!! And go ahead and flame me all you like, I don't really care, I'm so sick of having to hold my tongue on this forum, so sick of reading this crap, it's time for the few of you to wake up and smell the coffee, life isn't all about you, if you can only thing of your damn self, then bloody live alone and stop making other peoples lives hell with your bloody selfishness!!!

:thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn:

[Sandra]

You know what why the hell don't you all just live on your own in your own little worlds, with no one to bother you I'm so sure you'd be better off, that way you don't have to worry about how the SO feels or her needs just your own selfish me me me needs :Angry3::Angry3:

[Ashleigh]

If I was you id get a divorce from her and tell her I'm doing whatever I please!

I guess that would mean that the "vows" that were made during the wedding would mean nothing and that if we divorced due to crossdressing, that we will have failed at the single most important relationship in our lives.

Please take a closer look at what is really important. Our spouses to whom we pledged our never ending devotion.

Ashleigh :doll:

[Marla S]

DeniseNJ, I agree with the others in that, that there is no reason to be proud of ignoring your SO's demand. And it is inappropriate to show off with it.

On the other side, if these are her words


[..] told me to TAKE that crap off, [...]{Why did I ever get involved with you OH::

it's either a sign that she is despaired, which would require talking, talking, talking.

or she doesn't show the love and respect which would be appropriate for a relationship.

I got comments like this too, they did hurt like hell and still cling after years and the end of the relationship.

That can't be the meaning of love, either.

[Andi]

.............I'm not saying all the other things that your SO is doing are right, far from it, but I'm sick of how when someone posts on her about how their SO might stop them from doing a particular part of their dressing how everyone starts to slate the SO, how dare they do such a thing.

But then again, SO's aren't really welcome here are they.

Ema, Thank you and all the GGs/SOs who post here. Your input is very much needed and appreciated. I think it helps keep relationship issues in balance and generates fair minded thinking. Even those who "flame" your comments have to see the validity of what is said if they would only think about it with an open heart. Please don't stop giving us your valuable input. :hugs:

[Suzie Green]

I usually do not wade into controversial topics, but I thought I would attempt to add something here. Whether you consider crossdressing to be a lifestyle, a hobby, or simply a cross to bear, if you are married it takes a lot of understanding on her part, and an equal amount of empathy on yours. Friction and divisivness often have deep seated origins. She may be using her distaste for painted toes, or panties, or high heels as ammunition, but the war started way before the guns were brought out. I can't imagine myself being abrasive to my wife, not when I'm counting on her to be my #1 supporter. Time to talk. And then talk some more. It might take a lot of talking to heal the wounds that have already been opened. Or you can continue to go your own way, and possibly she will go hers. For me, I'd much prefer a partner, a lover, a team mate...the one to whom I said I would stay with until death do us part. I owe her that...for all that she has done, I can never possibly repay her. But will not stop trying!

I apologize if this comes across as overly critical. We all have our own shoes to walk in, and it's difficult to give advice when sometimes we don't know all the facts. My intent is not to flame you for your actions or behavior, but simply to add an opinion of how I feel about my own situation. Communication has been the key with both me and my wife, and may it continue to be so!