Is it OK to confuse others?

[Cindi Johnson]

Until recently, I’ve always segregated my two sexes. When drab, I frequented a specific Walmart, a specific Target, specific restaurants, grocery stores, coffee shops, and so on. And when dressed, there are other specific stores, restaurants, etc., which I frequent. In a large city, it’s easy to do this just by designating sections of the city as girl areas or as boy areas. The advantages are obvious; people know you as either a male or as a female (or a fake female). One’s secret is fairly secure.

But alas, my lines of demarcation have of late blurred. Several times this month I’ve went to a nearby McDonald’s as a female even though I’ve always before dined there only in drab. Same with other stores. And tonight I visited my favorite Starbucks in drab, even though I’ve frequented it a hundred times during the past year, always wearing a skirt or capris or (less often) a dress. I even asked my favorite barrista there, Amy, out. Until tonight she’d never seen me in male mode; she was clearly surprised and a bit flustered.

So, am I flirting with disaster? Do any of you mix genders in your worlds? Or is this just not acceptable?

Cindi Johnson

[sissystephanie]

I guess I do mix genders, in a way. I am a man who crossdresses, nothing more. I am not a woman, nor can I really look like one. Unless someone with a lot more knowledge of makeup does the work and then fixes my wig!

But I do, frequently, go out in public dressed totally feminine. without makeup or wig. In other words, a man wearing women's clothing and shoes. I go that way to the same stores and restaurants that I go to in drab. Sometimes they recognize me, like tonight at dinner. No big thing, I am a crossdresser and I know it! Not sure what I would do if I saw somebody I knew really well. But hey, it is Halloween season. Just trying out an outfit for a costume party!!:heehee: If you have confidence in yourself, you will not care what others think. I don't dress trashy or ****ty, I just dress to look feminine in a kind of classy way.:happy:

Sissy/Stephanie

More girl than man sometimes

[AllieSF]

Cindi, I think that you may only be flirting with disaster if you are worried about being outed in your male, safe areas and any possible future repercussions. Otherwise, I would say your mixing zones and lifes may be your internal way of trying to bring both sides into balance. I think I am paranoid of being discovered, but at theh same time I tend to try some things too close to home, when I think that I shouldn't. Maybe I am doing tha same thing that you are! Anyway - good luck

[Joy Carter]

Until recently, I’ve always segregated my two sexes. When drab, I frequented a specific Walmart, a specific Target, specific restaurants, grocery stores, coffee shops, and so on. And when dressed, there are other specific stores, restaurants, etc., which I frequent. In a large city, it’s easy to do this just by designating sections of the city as girl areas or as boy areas. The advantages are obvious; people know you as either a male or as a female (or a fake female). One’s secret is fairly secure.

But alas, my lines of demarcation have of late blurred. Several times this month I’ve went to a nearby McDonald’s as a female even though I’ve always before dined there only in drab. Same with other stores. And tonight I visited my favorite Starbucks in drab, even though I’ve frequented it a hundred times during the past year, always wearing a skirt or capris or (less often) a dress. I even asked my favorite barrista there, Amy, out. Until tonight she’d never seen me in male mode; she was clearly surprised and a bit flustered.

So, am I flirting with disaster? Do any of you mix genders in your worlds? Or is this just not acceptable?

Cindi Johnson


It's all in how you feel about it Cindi.
If you think you can handle any repercussions.
Then I say be who you are.
You can't do any harm to others by being you.
Beside being rude, what can anyone do ? :p

[Michelle (Oz)]

Cindi

This is something that I am currently concerned about too. I travel and dress pretty much weekly. I have a couple of restaurants, shops, etc that I frequent en femme and others that I only go to in drab.

I stay at the same hotel. I'm now known to the staff at concierge and reception as both Mr xxxx or Mrs/Ms xxxx depending on how I'm dressed. They are part of a very select group to whom I have effectively outed myself and they seem more at ease than I am. For quite some time though I avoided outing myself. Maybe for us it is a function of being increasingly confident in who we are or, perhaps, it is just wanting to take additional risks without regard to the consequences. I suspect its mostly the former for me.

There are several people with whom I have a special relationship dressed en femme. I am not going to risk the relationship by them meeting me in drab.

Michelle (Oz)

[Deidra Cowen]

I go to the grocery, gas station, starbucks, cleaners, etc both in boy and girl mode. I honestly don't think they have connected my boy side with my tgirl side and I have had no troubles...well accept at the cleaners, she knows I am a Tgirl...but the lady that owns that is nice to me.

I was there a few weeks ago in boy mode...she actually called me back into the store to hookup the cable to a TV in her office. So its good to know I don't freak her out and she feels safe around me.

[Colleentg]

I don't purposely try to cause confusion, but it happens. I was in a 'man's' bar just the other day with a friend who took me there and a middle-aged guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was a girl! I thought I was safe enough going dressed down as best I could, because we had gone to several different places that I was unsure of, that day. Anyway, he said it didn't matter to him, he was only curious. I took it as a compliment.

I have confused SAs in stores too, who at first treated me as a lady until my sore voice gave me away! LOL Look at it this way, if they want to make a sale and keep their job, they will help you best they can, no matter who you are.

[JoAnnDallas]

I have never run into anyone I know in any of the usual places we shop at (Wlamart, Target, restaurants), so I'm not too worried that anyone I know will see me.
Now this was not the case where we used to live in West Virginia...It seem the local Walmart was the gathering place for just about everyone we knew. LOL Not a day did not go by that we did not meet someone we knew or had someone we knew come up to us while shopping at the local Walmart. Same went for the local K-Mart and restaurants. LOL

[Nicki B]

And tonight I visited my favorite Starbucks in drab, even though I’ve frequented it a hundred times during the past year, always wearing a skirt or capris or (less often) a dress. I even asked my favorite barrista there, Amy, out. Until tonight she’d never seen me in male mode; she was clearly surprised and a bit flustered.

There, I'm not surprised - suddenly, you're not one of 'the tribe' anymore... Do you think she'll treat you as the old you, next time??? :idontknow:

[melissaK]

Yep, selective self-outing. You can wonder why you are doing this: tired of not being who you want to be; looking for broader acceptance; foolish carelessness; more thrills; etc. But only you know.

I know I limit my girl shopping to cross town locations where I am less likely to be known. But do be careful. I live in a pretty big town 1.5 million plus, and its amazing who I run into "across town." A cross town Target store went off limits one day when I bumped into a fellow hockey season ticket holder . . . who told me her daughter was promoted to manager at that store . . . who knew!

hugs,
'lissa

[Twyla]

How could I not to confuse others about what am I if I am myself confused about that ?

[Brianna Lovely]

I don't intentionally try to confuse people, but my life has become a blend. I no longer wear male clothes, but I do go out semi-fem and full-fem, to many of the same places. Maybe I look like a guy wearing fem clothes, in my semi-fem mode, but I feel like a girl. When I'm full fem, I still feel like a girl, just maybe more so.

Anyway, you want to try confusing?
I was in NYC with a GG friend, who is a retired actress/singer. In a ten hour period, we went to three bars, two restaurants, two coffee shops, three night clubs and two theaters. Every place we went, they called her by a different name, and when we were leaving, she'd go into the ladies room and change clothes, makeup, jewelry and hair style, then we'd go to the next place. By the end of the night, I was not sure who I was with, and I've known her for six years.