Suggestions

[SarahMus]

I have always dressed at home but would like to go out at least once. Got a new skirt, sweater and heels. Want to get my wig styled and get a makeover and go somewhere. Problem is where? I am not really into the bar scene and the bars suggested in a website seemed to be trendy, crowded gay bars. I am pretty much a loner and would not feel comfortable going in there by myself in a skirt.

Tried e-mailing a crossgendered group in the Twin Cities and got no response back from them, granted dont express myself well at times. Tried e-mailing Tr-Ess to see when there next meeting was. Told them I was asexual and used my femme e-mail account and said that I interested in joining as a supporting member and would like to find out when the next meeting was and got no reponse back. Do not know what I want to get out of the experience or what to expect out of it. Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

Last question. Believe in God most of the time and not very religious. But have found a church that is supposed to be GLBT friendly and have found reasons not to go the last several weeks but will force myself this week. Has anyone gone to one of these churches and gotten a positive experience out of it?

Sorry for the long post. While do not post very often enjoy this group.

Thanks

Sarah

[KarenSusan]

For somewhere to go, Sarah, you could try the movies. It's dark most of the time except coming and going. It makes you feel that you're out in the world.

[Colleentg]

Sarah,
I found one of those churches, although I'm no longer into any belief systems. A former gg friend had been going to it and suggested it to me. It was a very comforting place and no one cared how you dressed, every one was warm and welcoming. Of course, to get over the initial 'sting' of fright, my friend went with me. She introduced me to several people there that she knew and it was a memorable time, overall. My friend? She was bisexual, but mostly into other women.

[eve]

Sarah, I too live in the twin cities and feel the same. I would love to go out dressed but no matter what people say about being accepted in gay bars, I still would feel uncomfortable going to one alone. If you would like to talk, feel free to email me at brown903@gmail.com

[Tara Michele]

Sarah,
God already knows your thoughts, your struggles, your pain, and your dreams. Like many of us (maybe I should only speak for myself -- like ME), you probably have been hiding yourself all of your life. It is refreshing to stand before God and know that you are accepted in the life your are struggling to live.

And then there are us humans, not nearly so loving and perfect as God. Sometimes religion is used as a weapon to stamp out what makes us uncomfortable and to embrace what we want. That is sad and I believe that God weeps (metaphorically speaking) when that happens.

Like any community, you need to participate to be a vital part, so I encourage you to go to your GLBT friendly church regularly and become active in their activities and worship. Don't push yourself on them any more than you would want someone pushing themselves on you, but be yourself. Be genuine. Be as open and loving as you can be. If you have questions about dress, seek out someone you think you can confide in and discuss it. Remember that we are all human, and that we all tend to react with surprise to sudden changes. If you decide to show up "dressed" one week, don't take that surprise to be lack of acceptance ... you will have changed and it will take a bit to adjust. Just keep loving and open and genuine, and pray that all in our community remain likewise.

God's blessing on your journey!
Tara

[Shelly Preston]

If going out is your aim Sarah

You can always go for a drive

I would suggest you see if you can find out more about the church before turning up enfemme

You want to make going out as painless as possible

[Veryvicky]

I remember my first times going out was just taking a drive. Just being where no one can really get much of a look feels safe and it was a thrill. At first I would be out only at night so I could find empty parking lots to stop in and take a little stroll and try out my heels. Wasnt long after that I had the nerve up to go to bars and meet people who appreciate the same things. Nothing like having someone to share things with. Basically you need to build your confidence... I know I loved my time driving around in my car.

Words of wisdom though...
-If you suddenly see the police are behind you and they want you to pull over...do it ! Relax and give them your drivers licence when asked. As embarrassing as you may think it is to be caught dressed... its better than moving the situation to one of those cop shows where you are trying to evade being stopped !

-Make sure before you leave home, motel room or wherever you dressed...make sure you have the keys or whatever it takes to get back in !

-Be aware that even though its dark outside and and you feel as if everyone is seeing you from the boobs or neck up...mostly from one vehicle to another you cant see much... however, keep in mind that truckers see you from the neck down ! ( take a CB radio and dial to channel 19 ! sure to put a smile on your face when you hear the legs ! and Tits ! comments.

-Be sure to take your guy clothes with you in the car and have a way to remove any makeup that you may have on. You never know when a break down, flat tire, etc. may occur.

-My advise to driving and stopping occationally... do it out of town ! Just a few minutes drive out of town usually will mean you will not be seen by someone you know.

-Hotels / motels... choose wisely, until you are more confident...look for those that have room access outside, that way you dont have to sneak out the back door or stroll past the clerks desk.

Some of this may seem like something that doesnt need to be said...but unless you think of it yourself... how else do you know it !

[JoAnnDallas]

I started going out in the daylight back in 2005. I started first by taking drives around the neighborhood, then going and filling up the SUV and etc. Then in 2006 I went to HEF2006 and joined Tri-Ess. If you need help contacting the local Tri-Ess, PM me and I'll help you get in touch. Earlier this year, I started going out solo shopping. So you can do a lot if you think a little. You can try going to a convience store and buy a soda or water, goto a Payless Shoe Store and try on shoes, Go to a Ross clothing store, try on dresses, skirts, tops, use the Ladies Room, and ect.

Hugs,

JoAnn

[Carol A]

If I get to go out I have to go behind my wifes back as she doesn't like it. So anyway I just go to the mall window shop and more or less just be around other people. I have no problems what so ever.

[LoriNC]

I remember my first times going out was just taking a drive. Just being where no one can really get much of a look feels safe and it was a thrill. At first I would be out only at night so I could find empty parking lots to stop in and take a little stroll and try out my heels. Wasnt long after that I had the nerve up to go to bars and meet people who appreciate the same things. Nothing like having someone to share things with. Basically you need to build your confidence... I know I loved my time driving around in my car.

Words of wisdom though...
-If you suddenly see the police are behind you and they want you to pull over...do it ! Relax and give them your drivers licence when asked. As embarrassing as you may think it is to be caught dressed... its better than moving the situation to one of those cop shows where you are trying to evade being stopped !

-Make sure before you leave home, motel room or wherever you dressed...make sure you have the keys or whatever it takes to get back in !

-Be aware that even though its dark outside and and you feel as if everyone is seeing you from the boobs or neck up...mostly from one vehicle to another you cant see much... however, keep in mind that truckers see you from the neck down ! ( take a CB radio and dial to channel 19 ! sure to put a smile on your face when you hear the legs ! and Tits ! comments.

-Be sure to take your guy clothes with you in the car and have a way to remove any makeup that you may have on. You never know when a break down, flat tire, etc. may occur.

-My advise to driving and stopping occationally... do it out of town ! Just a few minutes drive out of town usually will mean you will not be seen by someone you know.

-Hotels / motels... choose wisely, until you are more confident...look for those that have room access outside, that way you dont have to sneak out the back door or stroll past the clerks desk.

Some of this may seem like something that doesnt need to be said...but unless you think of it yourself... how else do you know it !

Very well said & great pointers for the first time out now if I just had the nerve.:heehee:

[Lucypink]

Sarah, I was like you some years ago, but If you want to go out then do it. Just plan it wisely so every thing goes smoth and step by step. First drive around where you might like yo go and if you feel safe then get of the car and walk to your destination.
In my experience Gay bars have been very secure. And one more thing, after I went out the first time the only thing I regret was not doing it years before. Good Luck!!

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, I don't trust people who talk to God, especially when they hear Him talking back!
However, my ex is gay now, and attends a church like u described here in Calif. My mother and daughter have attended with her. They have all described the other parishioners as completely divergent in sexuallity and appearance. All r accepted and made welcome. My mother makes it sound like an all gender festival! No idea if it would be the same in the Midwest.
I don't think it would any problem if you dressed drab one week and fem the next. At least, not at my ex's church.
RS

[Kris]

I have always dressed at home but would like to go out at least once. Got a new skirt, sweater and heels. Want to get my wig styled and get a makeover and go somewhere. Problem is where? I am not really into the bar scene and the bars suggested in a website seemed to be trendy, crowded gay bars. I am pretty much a loner and would not feel comfortable going in there by myself in a skirt.

Tried e-mailing a crossgendered group in the Twin Cities and got no response back from them, granted dont express myself well at times. Tried e-mailing Tr-Ess to see when there next meeting was. Told them I was asexual and used my femme e-mail account and said that I interested in joining as a supporting member and would like to find out when the next meeting was and got no reponse back. Do not know what I want to get out of the experience or what to expect out of it. Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

Last question. Believe in God most of the time and not very religious. But have found a church that is supposed to be GLBT friendly and have found reasons not to go the last several weeks but will force myself this week. Has anyone gone to one of these churches and gotten a positive experience out of it?

Sorry for the long post. While do not post very often enjoy this group.

Thanks

Sarah

Sarah,

Do you ever make it to Portland Oregon? Get those 10 posts in so that I can pm you......... I know many places here that we could go and have fun... and twin cities is in Idaho - right?

I da ho....... no - I da pimp~!

Gosh I am corny today!

Kris

[docrobbysherry]

Sarah,

and twin cities is in Idaho - right?

Kris


Good one Kris!
RS

[trannie T]

I quit drinking some years ago but I do go out dressed to gay bars because they are friendly and safe. I also go to support groups occasionally.
This coming Saturday and next Wednesday are two days when we can go most anywhere dressed as we celebrate National Crossdressers Day otherwise known as Halloween.

[Melinda G]

I'm kind of a loner too. Do what I do. I get all dolled up, wig, makup, dress and heels, etc, and just go out and walk around. I find a nice safe residential or commercial area, with a convenient place to park, and just get out and walk. Those store windows at night, are like giant mirrors. And I love to stroll down a main street, or residential street, hearing my heels on the sidewalk, and feel the breeze on my legs, and up under my dress, and admireing myself in the store windows, as I pretend to window shop. I am heterosexual, and I really have no desire for any contact with people. I can pass visually, but my voice would give me away in a minute. Sometimes, I go out two or three times in an evening, returning home, to change into another outfit, and different heels. Then back out again. Then back home to make some videos. :D

[MJ]

Last question. Believe in God most of the time and not very religious. But have found a church that is supposed to be GLBT friendly and have found reasons not to go the last several weeks but will force myself this week. Has anyone gone to one of these churches and gotten a positive experience out of it?

well Sarah
i do go to a church that is affirming as in GLBTQ .. and the people are wonderful i feel you should find the courage to go to church how are you ever going to know if you find reason not too ... why not find reason to go.... in fact why not find reason go go out any were .. it's your fear that stops you .. just do it

af-firm to validate, confirm b: to state positively
so why not go to church ?

[Michelia]

There are many liberal churches as well as a live and let live attitude there. I have been to a few gay and tranny bars in Minneapolis in drab by myself. I am a little shy around strangers and yet I had some fun conversation. Try going to some of the tranny bars in drab first and when you are comfortable there you can then try going enfemme.

Michelia