Flight to NYC

[Stephenie S]

Well, I promised you all an account of my short trip to NYC and my first flight as Stephenie, from New England to the Big Apple.

Unfortunately, the trip was so uneventful that there is little to report. I went through security with absolutely no problems. I was addressed as "ma'am". The flight went easily. My week in NY was fun.

I babysat the newest grandson (14 months) while the parents took their first vacation since the baby was born.

I did make a few mistakes. One: I wore a skirt on the plane. If you want to stand out while flying today, dress nice. I was the ONLY woman on the plane in a skirt. Two: I wore nice shoes. I forgot that you had to take your shoes off for security and I wore my pretty shoes with the two buckles each. What a PITA to have to buckle them on and off while going throught the security line. I also wore too much jewelry. I set off the security alarm and had to take off my earings, necklace and bracelet. Oh well. Other than that, things went just fine. That is untill I had to come home. The return flight was delayed from 5 P until 9:30 P due to bad weather on Friday. Sitting in the airport with nothing to do was another PITA. As was getting home so very much later than I had planned.

Other women were very nice to me. One gave me her place in line in the lady's room because I had lugage, another gave me her seat on the subway because, I guess, I was older than she. BTW, standing in line in the lady's room while you slowly inch along as you all wait for the stalls to open up one by one, is quite an experience. The lights are bright, there are mirrors everywhere, women CHAT in line, you walk to the stall with all eyes upon you, there is no place to hide except the stall, and you just have to wait your turn. Then you have to wash your hands (EVERYONE does) with all in the line watching, and do your primping in full view. It's a daunting experience. Remember to smile. Women smile at each other ALL THE TIME. Women are NICE to each other.

NYC is really fun. You can go anywhere on the subway. Our kids live on the upper East side in a nice apt with a doorman and a brass and marble lobby. Slick!!! I got 4 Pashmina scarves for $20 from a sidewalk kiosk. I also probably gained 5 pounds. Does anyone ever cook in NY? It seems like everyone goes out to eat.

So my adventure on my first airline flight went just fine. No problems at all. Sorry I can't relate any really exciting adventures.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[AmberTG]

Hey, just flying to NYC en-femme is an adventure worth talking about! Now, a bathroom experience like that has GOT to be a learning experience! I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to something like that or not!:eek:

[CaptLex]

Does anyone ever cook in NY? It seems like everyone goes out to eat.
Not if we can help it. :heehee: Glad you had a nice time. :happy:

[Stephenie S]

Hey Capt, if I had remembered you lived in NY, I would have brought you a bottle of rum.

Thanks for the well wishes. NY really was fun!!

Stephie

[Stephenie S]

Hey, just flying to NYC en-femme is an adventure worth talking about! Now, a bathroom experience like that has GOT to be a learning experience! I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to something like that or not!:eek:

Really now, I don't think any GGs ever look forward to this experience either. Most of the grumbling I heard in line centered around the fact that there are NEVER enough stalls.

I have been using the lady's for several months now, but this, and a recent experience in a theatre line, was the first time I wasn't just in and out, quick do your business and on your way. Lines in the lady's room move SLOW!!!

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Wendi {LI NY}]

Really now, I don't think any GGs ever look forward to this experience either. Most of the grumbling I heard in line centered around the fact that there are NEVER enough stalls.

I have been using the lady's for several months now, but this, and a recent experience in a theatre line, was the first time I wasn't just in and out, quick do your business and on your way. Lines in the lady's room move SLOW!!!

Lovies,
Stephenie

SLOW <if they were any slower ,we would be going BACKWARDS !:mad:
Just the little things that we lose being a Women .. And no damn pockets either [lol] hugs,Wendi

[Cai]

Just out of curiosity, does your ID have M or F? I'm a little concerned about my flight home at Thanksgiving, with my ID not matching my appearance.

[Stephenie S]

Just out of curiosity, does your ID have M or F? I'm a little concerned about my flight home at Thanksgiving, with my ID not matching my appearance.

I called the DMV and told them the picture on my license no longer matched my appearance. They said no problem, just go get another picture taken. So now my picture ID looks like me.

I took along my "carry" letter from my therapist which says I am required to present as female at all times. I did not have to show it, nor have I ever had to show it. As others have said on this forum before, a "carry" letter is a pretty useless peice of paper.


Lovies,
Stephenie

[Cai]

I called the DMV and told them the picture on my license no longer matched my appearance. They said no problem, just go get another picture taken. So now my picture ID looks like me.

I took along my "carry" letter from my therapist which says I am required to present as female at all times. I did not have to show it, nor have I ever had to show it. As others have said on this forum before, a "carry" letter is a pretty useless peice of paper.


Lovies,
Stephenie

Hmmm, OK. The trickiness for me is that I have to get the new picture taken after the flight home.

[Stephenie S]

Put it off for now, hon.

Unless you have a thick skin and wouldn't mind the possible embarrassment. Remember, they are looking for terrorists and bombers, not CDers. They really, really, don't care what you are wearing. If you have proper ID for who you really are you will have no problems. There is NO law that requires you to dress in any particular fashion. If you do go dressed, however, you MIGHT be questioned further if your appearance doesn't look anything like your ID. This questioning can be done in private if you request. Most of us, when dressed, look similar enough to our male selves so that an ID can easily be made.

It all comes down to how much hassle you are willing to put up with. And also how comfortable you are with yourself. If you radiate discomfort and nervous embarrassment it will show, and someone might pick up on it. I am 24/7, and also have a pretty thick skin. I care not what others think of me. I also beleive in my heart and soul that I am female and have been all my life.

You can do this, or you can skip it untill you are more comfortable in your female persona. I would spend some time getting comfortable being "out" and about as a woman, if I were you. You will know, I think, when you are ready for this. That said, there will ALWAYS have to be a first time, right?

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Cai]

Put it off for now, hon.

Unless you have a thick skin and wouldn't mind the possible embarrassment. Remember, they are looking for terrorists and bombers, not CDers. They really, really, don't care what you are wearing. If you have proper ID for who you really are you will have no problems. There is NO law that requires you to dress in any particular fashion. If you do go dressed, however, you MIGHT be questioned further if your appearance doesn't look anything like your ID. This questioning can be done in private if you request. Most of us, when dressed, look similar enough to our male selves so that an ID can easily be made.

It all comes down to how much hassle you are willing to put up with. And also how comfortable you are with yourself. If you radiate discomfort and nervous embarrassment it will show, and someone might pick up on it. I am 24/7, and also have a pretty thick skin. I care not what others think of me. I also beleive in my heart and soul that I am female and have been all my life.

You can do this, or you can skip it untill you are more comfortable in your female persona. I would spend some time getting comfortable being "out" and about as a woman, if I were you. You will know, I think, when you are ready for this. That said, there will ALWAYS have to be a first time, right?

Lovies,
Stephenie

Thanks for the advice. I am coming at things from a different perspective, as an FtM, so I'm probably better off than one of the girls here might be.

However, my ID has a very feminine name, and a photograph of me with my hair 8 inches longer and a completely different color. I can't get a new picture until after the flight, because I'm in one state, but technically reside in the other state.

I've been presenting dressed as a guy (though not asking people to recognize me as such) since late August, and this flight won't be any different. I have become pretty good at letting comments roll off (my count of people who have referred to me as a "dyke" is now up to 3, and I'm not even attracted to women) so I guess it won't be that much of an issue.

The worst they can do is refuse to let me on the flight, right? I have other IDs with the same name (just not acceptable by TSA), so it's clearly not fraud or ID theft. In that scenario I'd just cash in my ticket and drive.

[Sally24]

One thing I used to do before I got a female pic on my id was carry a small copy of a series of photos. They showed me with no makeup, next with just foundation, then eye makeup and lipstick, and finally with a wig and jewelry. That would show that your id was valid and you weren't trying to "hide" your identity.

Never had to use it but it's like insurance, you feel better just having it!

[Stephenie S]

Thanks for the advice. I am coming at things from a different perspective, as an FtM, so I'm probably better off than one of the girls here might be.

However, my ID has a very feminine name, and a photograph of me with my hair 8 inches longer and a completely different color. I can't get a new picture until after the flight, because I'm in one state, but technically reside in the other state.

I've been presenting dressed as a guy (though not asking people to recognize me as such) since late August, and this flight won't be any different. I have become pretty good at letting comments roll off (my count of people who have referred to me as a "dyke" is now up to 3, and I'm not even attracted to women) so I guess it won't be that much of an issue.

The worst they can do is refuse to let me on the flight, right? I have other IDs with the same name (just not acceptable by TSA), so it's clearly not fraud or ID theft. In that scenario I'd just cash in my ticket and drive.

Oh my goodness, hon. I can't imagine that you will have any problems at all. I agree that you have it easier as a FtM. To me that seems sooo much easier (but the grass is always greener, isn't it?). I would go ahead. You will, of course be recognised as a "dyke", if anyone pays any attention to you at all. There is a MUCH more accepting atitude toward lesbians and gays than there is toward CDer and TS. I remember this well when, years ago, I was just begining to present as a woman while living in SF. I had NO worries at all because everyone just assumed I was gay. And as we all know, SF is just full of gay people, right? No one ever even suspected I was a CDer at all.

Anyway, as you report having a thick skin already, and there is SUCH a widespread acceptance of lesbians, I will change my advise, and recomend you just go. A masculine looking woman has a much easier time of it than a feminine looking man (at least, I think so).

You may not "pass" as a man at all, but the likelyhood of your being denied boarding is SO remote as to be ludicrous. If that were to happen, I am sure you would be set for life as far as paying for air travel was concerned. The TSA just does not deny air travel to lesbians. I know, I know, you're not a lesbian. But they don't know that. And you're not gonna tell them.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Nicki B]

Now, a bathroom experience like that has GOT to be a learning experience! I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to something like that or not!:eek:

IMHO, you get into the most interesting conversations in queues for the loo.. :D


I took along my "carry" letter from my therapist which says I am required to present as female at all times. I did not have to show it, nor have I ever had to show it. As others have said on this forum before, a "carry" letter is a pretty useless peice of paper.


Air travel became much nicer once I updated my ID to have my correct name and picture (and better still once I got the gender marker corrected). I hated being effectively "outed" as trans everytime I had to show ID.

Aren't both of these, really, aids for our comfort? They're not necessary - as has been said, people have their minds on security threats, not whether you're trans. :)

[Stephenie S]

IMHO, you get into the most interesting conversations in queues for the loo.. :D





Aren't both of these, really, aids for our comfort? They're not necessary - as has been said, people have their minds on security threats, not whether you're trans. :)

Yup, I think they are.

Stephie

[Stephenie S]

Yes. Yes they are. As it happens, I value my comfort. :)

I stand by my statement - air travel became more pleasant once I didn't have to out myself to security guards by showing them masculine ID. I wasn't harassed before (I think I made that rather clear in my prior post). I just didn't like having to do that.

I would still encourage anyone needing to fly to do it as their true selves - I made at least a half-dozen round-trip flights with mistmatched ID, and my discomfort at being outed to security guards was small compared to the discomfort I would have felt at pretending to be a guy for the entire trip (and I was full time before I got my ID corrected - there is no way I would have flown as a guy then).

Yeah, what she said.

Stephie