Coming Out And The Depression

[flacindycd]

Being a closeted cd all my life (im 53 yrs young now,married 32) i am married to a great woman, however thru the years ive had bouts of depression, anxiety, mood swings, my dr. put me on meds, they worked for a while , then i felt worse after about 2 months, then, i had to kick them,which was a battle in itself...I have been wrestling with coming out to her for 2 yrs now, and I'm scared shitless........Of the outcome if i do tell,,,,
HELP!!!

[Marla S]

Sorry to hear about your pain.

According to my experiences meds without counseling is not optimal if you are depressive or have anxiety attacks.
Perhaps you could look for a good counselor, talk with him about your gender issues (or other problems), and find the right time together with him/her to invite your wife. Maybe a third person can cushion the "shock" for your wife and help her to understand your fear to tell her.

Sometimes it's better to have a third person to moderate in highly emotional situations.

[trannie T]

You are dealing with two serious issues. Get help with your depression, there was a recent study that determined that depression was treatable with a combination of therapy and medication. Once you get your head right work on your other issues.

[Karren H]

And scared you should be.. Just look around at the posts.. Not very comforting all the doom and gloom.. Divorce! A consider mtself lucky that my wiofe found out (not maybe at the time I didn't) and was a bit shakey for a while but she still loves me as her husband. And turns a blind eye to my crossdressing.. Doesn't want to know... And once in a while you'll find one here who's wife loves the idea of their SO crosdressing.. But that is a rarety.. Most don't fair to well..

I have never been depressed over my crossdressing one bit.. Once I accepted it was just part of who I am.. Crossdressing became fun!! And still is..

So if I were you I wouldn't come out to her and try to battle the depression separate from the crossdressing issue.. If you can..

[Lovely Rita]

Hi Flacindycd, I can totally relate having suffered from depression my whole life, but I must tell you that I have been able to overcome it and get a handle on it by the Grace of God today. I know how terrible it is. If I can be of any help please feel free to contact me.

Take care

[Shelly Preston]

There are a lot of things to consider before coming out to your wife

Do you know what her attitude to crossdressing is ?

Is she an open minded individual ?

Have you any idea what her reaction will be ?

If you do decide to tell her how do you propose to tell her ?

[flacindycd]

in regards to my depression , it only pops up maybe once a months (usually lasts a day or 2) since ive gotten off the meds its gotten easier, however it seems when i donot dress for extended periods (ie 3-4 weeks) that i become real moody, also the nervouseness i have when contemplating coming out to my SO, that mood swings occur, I just dont know how to deal with telling my SO, and the fear of divorce is REAL, I have been battling with coming out for over 6 yrs, after reading here, It almost seems to complicate it further , theres so many good and bad stories,, I now in the end its all ABOUT ME , but I'm sure I'll get a handle on it. I wish to thank all of you here

[Ruth]

It's quite possible your depression is caused by bottling up your CDing and your fear of discovery. But on the other hand maybe not, and I suggest some sessions with a good therapist to try and find out. Tranquillizers are a good temporary fix but some time you need to get to the bottom of this. You'll be glad you did.
Love,
Ruth

[Veryvicky]

I told my wife and even though it made me feel better that I was honest about it and my depression went down, over time her reactions and dislike of it depressed me once again. The stress and depression went in a negative way towards her and our daughter. We divorced about 2 years ago and my depression once again went down as I was liberated to do as I wanted. The depression returned once again as I was now alone with only visitation with my daughter which means the world to me. Ate up with stress and depression and the need to know if I just wanted to dress up at times or should seek out SRS I went to see a therapist. This I found to be the only end to my depression as you get to not only explain your feelings to a professional you are given advise as how to move on. If you are secure in your relationship telling her and being open to marriage counseling may help too. I was closed minded and thought I could fix anything myself, we cant do it all, dont make the same mistake. Get counseling and get the advise to help you make the right choices.

[Veryvicky]

Oh... I forgot to mention... the reason we divorced... DID NOT have to do with CDing but it was something that added to the regular stressful things that a marriage encounters. Just be prepared and be happy with yourself.

[docrobbysherry]

Depression can be VERY dangerous. Until u understand the exact causes of it, it can take u over at the worst of times. A therapist will help u sort out your fears and concerns. And U need to separate your needs from your fears. The old saying, " U have nothing to fear but fear itself", is tru. I don't think telling your SO about CDing rite now is a good idea. First, therapist, then, later on, have discussion with SO.
RS