Oh what lovely shoes...

[confused99]

Hi, just thought I'd post an update on progress so far after telling my SO.

Unfortunately there seems to be an element of denial at the moment, but at least nothing bad has happened, and there have been a few jokes about me wanting to get into her knickers.

For a few weeks after I told her, I actually thought I was "cured", I didn't have the urge to dress, and decided that telling her had taken the spark out of it. I even tried on a few pairs of panties, and they did nothing for me.

However, I woke up this morning and was hit by THE URGE, it was unbelievable. I re-shaved my legs (not only a CD thing, I just love the way they feel that way), and at lunch time I went out to a cheap high street womens clothes store. There I marched straight into the shoe department and decided to get myself a pair of heels. After much searching I found a pair of strappy gold 3" heels in size 8 (my size), for only £5! Now that everbody has gone to bed, I've tried them on and WOW, they fit like a glove and (even if I do say so myself), look amazing.

I just don't understand this urge thing, slipping on the heels was like a huge adrenaline dump, I was shaking I was that excited. Now I've just got to learn to walk in them.

BTW the reason I had to fine some cheap shoes was because we have a joint bank account and any large sums of money (ie £30+) would obviously be noticed. Yes I know I should tell her now she knows, but this has been such a private thing for so long, it's actually VERY hard to share it with anybody.

[Leah B]

Hoo boy. Confused, the urge is gonna follow you. It may ebb, but it'll flow right back, and with a vengeance. If you're trans, you're trans for life, usually. And your lady should know that too.

For you, you should work on figuring out what it means to you. Is it a sexual fetish? Is there another side to it? Sometimes it might seem like one thing, then you discover it's something else. Keep an open mind and don't be afraid to question yourself.

As for understanding it, I don't know that anyone does. I think most of us would like to know why, but really, why doesn't matter as much as how to deal with it.

[Billijo49504]

Some of us don't have much of a choice, all of our underware is female. As in bra's and panties. As are my jeans and some of my shirts. Don't worry, you'll get there soon enough. You start with panties, harmless enough, then it's a bra and pretty soon it's the full wardrobe. Atleast that's the way it happens for a lot of us...BJ

[Amanda Shaft]

I told my SO a while back. I know what you mean about it being so secret that it's hard to come clean about the little purchases! But you really should because if she finds you've been hidding things from her again, then the whole trust/deciept issue is going to jump up and bite you on the arse! I know its difficult, I still struggle but once I'd told her that I like to dress as a woman the other bits are mere trivia in comparison! Maybe agree an allowance for purchases then she wouldn't be supprised to see 30 quid go from the account once a month?
I sound too much like a party pooper! Enjoy your shoes!
Amanda x

[Mitch23]

I've had that element of denial a lot with my so after I told her. she was internalizing it but did not want to speak about it. we have had lots of 'discussions' since - often emotional and not usually positive. But I'm finding it easier to discuss with her now and she with me. i may never get to a level of acceptance but we both have too much invested in our relationship to blow it away

she probably needs space to think so give it to her

love

mitch