Were scared the first time you went out?

[Jordan]

Was all of you scared or afraid the first time you went out dressed up like a woman? How did you finally get over being scared or afraid? I really want to go out but am afraid somebody I know might see me seeing how the only person that knows this about my other side is my wife?

[rose382832]

the first time i went out i was terrified.(iwent out near home.) next time i went out was 6 hrs drive from home and only slightly nervous. after that i went out near home and realized that if anyone saw me they were there for the same reason i was and that i was safe. after that it became second nature, almost.:hugs:

[Kayletta Jade]

Have you thought about maybe trying to go out on halloween first? I ask this because it happens to be the first time my SO ever went out dressed up and there is alot less pressure... or so it seems to me.

[MJ]

no i was not scared or afraid the first time i went out dressed up like a woman? .. i was terrified and to make things worse i went to a grocery store and and got supply's for the week .. and i was in heels as well :eek: and nobody said anything apart from the casher talking my ear off but nothing happened , so with that little bit of confidence i went out again the same day and nothing again.. so you should just do it

[pamela_a]

For me, I don't think scared quite captured the emotion of the moment. It was more like terrified than anything. But, of course being me, I jumped right into it. Deciding where to go was easy, following my instincts I headed to the mall to do some shopping. I wandered through clothing stores and stopped at the make up counter in a dept store and got a make over.

Although I'm sure I was very easily read (if nothing else, how many women 6'5" tall do you see) no one commented and at no point did I notice any parents clutching their children as they went running and screaming in terror. :)

I've been out several times since then and each time it's been easier each time. So far my most enjoyable time was driving from Nebraska home to Minnesota. I was completely en fem when I checked out of the hotel and experienced a wonderful trip home, which included some shopping and finally getting correctly fitted for a bra. Of course there was the episode when I passed the 4 truckers too....(OK. Paula's got a little naughty side too, but hey, what are skirts for if you can't have a little fun with them?)

I've gotten to the point where virtually my entire wardrobe consists of clothing marketed primarily to women, but skirts, heels, make up, and all the extras are a special treat I don't get to wear very often.

I've decided if someone is going to judge me by my clothing and decide they don't want to be around me because of it, it's their loss and not mine.

Enough of my ramblings and musings. Jordan, the only thing I can say is go for it. IMHO it gets easier as your confidence increases. Take it slow if that's your comfort level now. Just don't let the guy with the purple and pink spiked hair give you any grief about your dress. :)

-Paula-

[Lissa Stevens]

I wan't scared. I was so mortally terrified I thought I would be sick. I almost didn't get out of the car. I did, and I am so glad I did. I still get a little nervous but it has gotten better and hopefully always will.

[CamillaCD]

You bet! Maybe not scared, but really nervous. Just as nervous as the first time I bought makeup. I seldom go out alone, as I normally go to a venue or to meet other girls at a bar. But that is me, being a kind of party girl. Or maybe I am a bit shy :o.

Being with others may not the best action if you don't want to get clocked, but for me it is not a big deal. Joining a local forum here in Norway and reading articles at http://www.tgtoday.com/ helped me to decide to just dive in the first time. I have tried some extreme sports over the years, and that could be how I managed to put a part of the fear away.

[joann07]

I was a little nervous when I went out that first time.
I had practiced a lot on my presentation (walk, mannersims, voice, makeup, etc.) so when I felt like I was ready, I just did it.
I did have help in that I went out with an experience crossdresser and she helped to calm my nerves.

I noticed people looked at me, but I did realize that most of them were men.
Of course, we men are going to look at an attractive woman, so then I realized that my role is reversed. I wasn't used to people looking at me, in guy mode, and so it took me a while to get used to it, in femme, but now it doesn't affect me.

[karynspanties]

Most definately terrified. Still am sometimes. I would recommend going a few cities away from home. Say 30 miles or so. Alot less chance of someone you know seeing you.

[bgirl]

Every Time!!

[marie354]

I wasn't scared... I was terrified! Would anyone be able to tell... Will I be laughed at... Will people be in shock? Horror? Or simply not notice?

It's all the 'fear of the fear'.

The first time will be a bit scarry, but after that, it only gets better.
I have found that most people either don't care, don't notice, or can't tell.

When you go out, dress casual at first if you want. But most of all get your attitude right... Be the woman you want to be! And as Karren Hutton always says... SMILE! (It really helps.)

[Victoria Anne]

Terrified ... absolutely , when I did it it was in my home town , went to get my wig styled and then to the community center ( actually the park in front of the center ). You said yourwife knows , if she is supportive go with her and go somewhere were you wont risk seeing anyone you know . Above all just do it and relish the moment , it only gets better , have fun.

[Mitch23]

Utterly, utterly terrified, the most scary thing I've ever done in my life. Decided that the most challenging place to start would be the local mall -(we don't have to many in the UK and everyone goes there). Sat in the car for 10 minutes, knees knocking, shaking like a leaf, got out and walked around - didn't dare look at anyone or talk to anyone.

A few months on its still nerve racking at first but become very enjoyable. Do all my girlie shopping en femme, use the changing rooms and have made lots of friends with the SAs. I'll go anywhere now, anytime except my little old home town

Mitch

[Brenda's Friend]

I dressed as Mrs. Santa Clause and a friend (GG) went as Mr. Santa for Halloween. Of course I was not scared at all, had a ton of fun (I wish I could have found some heels to wear, big regret!).

But now, I am terrified looking at womens clothes at Goodwill the week before Halloween. I would never have the nerve to go out dressed, unless it was a costume.

BF

[Lucypink]

I was very scared by the same reason as you, and it hapends every time I go out, to be recognised by some one that knows me or my SO in unaceptable (but I take the risk). What I do when I see some one that I know, I put on my femme sun glasses and keep on what I was doing.

[Ruth]

I was definitely on edge but would describe it as excited rather than scared. I don't know why but I had confidence that I would be OK. I've only been full out in public three times and all three have been great. More to come.
I know it's easy to preach but I'd say confidence is the key.

[Phyliss]

So afraid I made sure to bring an extra pair of undies, knowning I was going to "wet" the pair I had on. Fortunately I was with my sister and surprise, surprise, I didn't need the extra pair. After the first hour, all was well.

[Jilmac]

the first time i ever went out en femme was to a halloween party in high school. a gg friend helped me feminize, although i wasn't really passable. that first time was exciting. the next time i went out was when i was 55, i had been dressing for many years in my basement and hiding from my wife and family. the first time i went out as an adult woman, i was terrified that i would be spotted by a neighbor or worse, a cop. even though it was 11:00 pm with no street lights, i was still afraid that i would be cought, and then i would have to explain to my wife. it didn't get any easier until just recently when i decided that it was time to take that major step forward. im 62 now, and my wife is gone so there's no one to explain to. i went to a tg meeting on oct 13, you can read my thread dated oct 14 to know how much i enjoyed my freedom as a woman.
JiFem9ll aka Jill

[JenniferMBlack]

I was terrified the first time I went out, even though I just wore a skirt still scared the hell out of me. Only one person said anything it was an older lady and she said I like your skirt, to which I said than you, and that was that. Some times I still get a little nervous but after I get going even that goes away.

[Sally24]

I was lucky in that I went out with a GG, my wife, my first time. Having her there helped me pass more easily and eventually I started to relax a little. The second time was actually a little more scary in that it was the first time I went out in a skirt. Talk about feeling naked in public! Each trip got a little easier and now I just get excited, not really scared. Looking forward to this weekend when I get to go to 2 different parties and stay dressed for a couple days in a row!

[JenniferR771]

Yup--very scared and nervous as hill! Bought an outfit at Salvation Army, paid and walked out wearing it plus wig. Went to a shopping mall. A woman pointed at me and said something--my half slip had fallen down! Eeek! Corrected that--rattled--headed home. It gets easier each time--but I am small, so more passable than most.

[Tasha T]

The first time I went out I was really not ready to go. It was a spur of the moment decision, influenced heavily by an experienced cross dresser who just wanted someone to go out with. I was still a novice at makeup and the clothes I had with me in my car were more fetish than practical. None the less he convinced me to give it a try and we went to a local drag queen bar called the Queen Mary. I was terrified. I had no idea how to present myself as a "woman." I was used to just getting dressed up at home, enjoying myself and then putting the clothes away. Going out in public? Well that was an entirely different matter!

When we first walked in the bouncer asked me if I would be drinking or not. This took me back as I was not actually prepared to speak. I said "no" in the highest voice I could. I felt ridiculous, but just kept going. I had difficulty walking as I was not used to walking in five inch heels and the dress I wore was ankle length and sewn up tight (fetish). The first patron in the club I saw loudly said, "Whoa!" I'm not sure if that was a positive or negative reaction to the way I was dressed, but the magnitude of it made me feel uneasy. Shortly after another guy walked by and called me a fag. I didn't like that at all. I spent the rest of the time sitting by myself at a table avoiding eye contact and hoping no one would bother me. My friend had gone off dancing with guys and left me to sit and watch the drag queen show by myself. After about an hour and a half of that I just wanted to leave. I found my friend and begged him to take me home. He wasn't ready, but he knew I was miserable so he got me out of there.

So what did I learn from all that?

1) Don't go out until you're ready (only you know when that time is...not someone else)
2) Wear something practical
3) Practice walking, moving, sitting, speaking, applying makeup, etc. until you feel comfortable
4) Be brave
5) Be prepared for anything (including people who don't like you)

[occdresser]

The first time I went out dressed, nobody said anything for 1 hour-then I was read by 2 teenage boys - they said thats a dude and she is stacked::ohappy:

[SusanMarie]

The first few times I went out were not really a problem (shopping, movies,fast food). I wanted to, so I did it. Then, after a few very satisfying trips, I began to think about the possible negatives way to much and became very reluctant( read that as scared) to go out. Fortunately, my SO and I discussed this and I regained my perspective. Now, I can't go out enough.:D

[KateSpade83]

My first few times out dressed -

1 - dropped off my mail
2 - drove to the post office and dropped my mail
3 - went to a mall near Halloween time and shopped.

I was scared each time but ventured out further the next time. I didn't have the greatest wig so I was unconfident if my hair was blown by the wind - this wig didn't have too much hair unlike my current best wig.

#3 was a revelation to me that I can pass. But I was so nervous the first time paying a cashier and wondered if she read me. A guy gave me the look in the mall and I couldn't tell if he read me or admired me. But the highlight of my day was when I was exiting Kmart and a costumed guy said, "look at that hot chick!" -when he saw me go past him.

Now it's normal for me to shop in drag, I just hope my roomates can get used to seeing me go out shopping in drag!

[Jordan]

Have you thought about maybe trying to go out on halloween first? I ask this because it happens to be the first time my SO ever went out dressed up and there is alot less pressure... or so it seems to me.
yes i have done that in the past but it don't seem to help to much I come from a very small town

[Jordan]

no i was not scared or afraid the first time i went out dressed up like a woman? .. i was terrified and to make things worse i went to a grocery store and and got supply's for the week .. and i was in heels as well :eek: and nobody said anything apart from the casher talking my ear off but nothing happened , so with that little bit of confidence i went out again the same day and nothing again.. so you should just do itThanks for the vote of confidence

[ptp009]

Yeah I was scared but still went out and sometinmes still a little shaky but love to do it anyways.

[Jordan]

For me, I don't think scared quite captured the emotion of the moment. It was more like terrified than anything. But, of course being me, I jumped right into it. Deciding where to go was easy, following my instincts I headed to the mall to do some shopping. I wandered through clothing stores and stopped at the make up counter in a dept store and got a make over.

Although I'm sure I was very easily read (if nothing else, how many women 6'5" tall do you see) no one commented and at no point did I notice any parents clutching their children as they went running and screaming in terror. :)

I've been out several times since then and each time it's been easier each time. So far my most enjoyable time was driving from Nebraska home to Minnesota. I was completely en fem when I checked out of the hotel and experienced a wonderful trip home, which included some shopping and finally getting correctly fitted for a bra. Of course there was the episode when I passed the 4 truckers too....(OK. Paula's got a little naughty side too, but hey, what are skirts for if you can't have a little fun with them?)

I've gotten to the point where virtually my entire wardrobe consists of clothing marketed primarily to women, but skirts, heels, make up, and all the extras are a special treat I don't get to wear very often.

I've decided if someone is going to judge me by my clothing and decide they don't want to be around me because of it, it's their loss and not mine.

Enough of my ramblings and musings. Jordan, the only thing I can say is go for it. IMHO it gets easier as your confidence increases. Take it slow if that's your comfort level now. Just don't let the guy with the purple and pink spiked hair give you any grief about your dress. :)

-Paula-i look at it this way not that I know because I havn/t made it out yet but if you look good enough to get hit on let it go girl

[Niya W]

Well my first time out was with a group of people at a tranny bar. Now what scared me was the first time out in the open in a public park. Moms and kids were there.

[Lois1234]

I've done a few road trips en femme before and walked around the block when it was really late but last night i decided to go for a drive and found myself at the mall. My heart was pounding but i just grabed my purse and wanted to go for a walk to see if i would pass. It all went rather smooth and nobody even gave me a second glance. I'm looking forward to friday night as i plan on going out again to a bigger mall with more people around. It's far enough away from home that i don't fear been seen by friends. I have to do what feels right to me and going out in public is a big step forward.

Lois

[jennifer41356]

before I got electrolysis I would be a bit scared when i went out, I thought people could see the beard under my makeup, also had a pretty bad wig, as i got a better one and a shorter wig and got the hair removed from my face, my confidence is higher

I am also blessed to be a bit short and a fem voice, so its easier now:love:

[Beth785]

The first time I went out, I was a senior in high school and it was Halloween. I had help from a female friend with the clothes and the make up, but I was rubbish with everything else. I had low heeled pumps, and I damn near broke my ankles!

The second time out, it was Halloween again in 2002 and I went to help host a haunted train, and that was alot of fun. I have done so every year except last year, but I plan on doing so again this year.

Since then, I have been out several times, all of them by myself, and I do have to say it gets easier every time. When it all comes down to it, you have 2 groups of people: strangers and acquaintances. Acquaintances won't recognize you and why do you care about the opinions of someone with whom you will never see again. My only suggestion, don't let this one time of year slip by. It's the one time that you can go out and no one will care.

[sterling12]

My first time out was at a Party. I had butterfly's, but Joanie's desire to finally get some freedom, trumped any of my little objections. I smoothed down my skirt and sat down on the sofa. My very first encounter was with a very outrageous queen, who was dressed in nothing but a Harness and a Greek Fishermen's Cap! She picked me to sit down next to, and proceeded to do her best to shake me up. Lots of outrageousness, and random stroking, and touching of my arms and thighs. I decided right then and there, "If I can deal with this sort of thing, first time out....I can deal with anything!"

I can't imagine doing the first time out ALONE, or going to The Mall the first time, where one could face hostility. I had a group of people, who were like-minded souls and it sure made things easier. I would suggest that you go out with your wife, or find a Support Group. You just can't imagine how much easier that will make the whole process. As nutty as my first time experience was, (I also met a rubber queen that night and a Dom,) I think it was still easier than facing The World alone.

Ah, but here's the real kicker! Unless your one of the very few, no matter what your first time out experience, you will find yourself wanting to repeat it. For almost everyone the experiences are exhilarating and addictive. Going out En Femme is very much like Pandora's Box. Once your get out.....you ain't going back!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[WendyCD5]

The first time I went out was a girls night out at a local dance club. I was petrified! Luckily, the other girls were very understanding and took very good care of me.

Remember, Head UP, Tits out and smile :happy:

[vivianann]

I was so scared that I thought I was going to have a heart attack, I had to work real hard to not shake uncontrollably, but once I experienced being out I could not go back to the closet. the more I went out the easier it was to go out enfemme. I go out enfemme almost every day now, I dont pass all that well, however women tell me I look pretty as a woman, or I look better as a woman than a man, I like the attention I get from women complimenting me on my looks, my legs, and bravery to go out enfemme. I enjoy being out enfemme now and am calm and relaxed most of the time.

[Nicki B]

Was all of you scared or afraid the first time you went out dressed up like a woman? How did you finally get over being scared or afraid? I really want to go out but am afraid somebody I know might see me seeing how the only person that knows this about my other side is my wife?

There's something rather odd about anyone who claims not to be - surely it's a natural reaction?

Personally, I dressed at home and practiced moving in front of a video camera; then I progressed to long, late night drives then walks about local towns, trying to avoid the few people out at 2am in the morning?

It was only when I really met other, timid people, that I managed to find places to go out - then it was off, down the slippery slope.. So many people helped me on my journey..

Believe me, you will discover the truth of this - the battle you have to fight is with yourself, to let you do this? And confronting and overcoming that fear will hugely empower you?

But if you can find someone local to help, you'll find it much easier?


Luckily, the other girls were very understanding and took very good care of me.

We ALL know - we've all been there, too. I've never known anyone not help, if asked? (That goes for getting out, too - if you're on your own at a place with other transpeople - go join them. They understand?)

[Wendy me]

the first time going out dressed the time up to opening the door and walking through it was OK .... as soon as my hand touched the door handle i thought i was going to die ......for a while yes very so scared and afraid ... then more so relaxed .... if you make it out the door the trip is half way done as that first step can be the hardest ... with the Holiday coming up gives you a chance to get a free pass .....

[Melissa Cross]

I've only been out in public about 5-6 times and I am always totally nervous but each time seems to get easier. I still am getting up the nerve to go shopping or to a nail salon dressed although I have walked around a mall en femme (didn't go into any stores). People have sometimes looked at me but nobody has ever said anything. I have heard a lot of CDers mention that a good time to go out is when teenager are in school and not around.

Melissa

[JoAnnDallas]

The first time I went out was for a drive around the neighborhood. I could feel my heart rate was high, very nervious, and I was sweating a little. After the first drive, I could not believe I really had gone out dressed. The second and third times out, I did the same thing, go for a drive. I found that I was NOT so nervious and my heart rate was almost normal. Then I took the next step. I stopped at a local Shell station, got out of the SUV and filled it up with gasoline. Now two years later, I still go out, but now I go shopping and such. I go out in the public and no one seems to care how am I dressed or pays much attention to me. Only once did I see someone that I knew and all I did was advoid that person. I don't think they saw me and if they did they did not Recognize me. LOL

[Chloe Jean]

I went en femme with a couple other sisters, went to a night of a 1,000 gowns in NYC. I nervous and excited, it was so much easier going out with other girls- Patty held my hand. It was nice to surrounded by other girls and they were very nice.
Hugs
Chloe

[Suzy Harrison]

It is nerve racking at first.

You are so worried that you're going to be humilitated. After a while you realise that most people are just getting on with their lives and they're not interested in you.

If you're really nervous believe it or not the best places to go are the real busy areas. You are lost in the crowds.

[Nicki B]

If you're really nervous believe it or not the best places to go are the real busy areas. You are lost in the crowds.

You're absolutely right - but I think must of us need to build up to that? :winking:

It's not the world that has the problem - it's US? The rest of them couldn't care less.

[Vivian Best]

no i was not scared or afraid the first time i went out dressed up like a woman? .. i was terrified

The words MJ used in her post doesn't even come close to the feelings I had when I went out the first time dressed!! It took several times for me to calm down enough to be remotely in control of myself and actions!

[CarrieAnneEvers]

The first time I went out I was about 22 years old and I was more excited than scared. I just stood behind my motel room door saying "omigod, omigod, omigod" but I went out to Wal Mart in a black t shirt and a black skirt and opaque black tights. I avoided eye contact with everyone and of course didn't speak to anyone. Good times.

[Vivian Best]

It's not the world that has the problem - it's US? The rest of them couldn't care less.

I 100% agree with your statement! I just wish I could get my arms around the fact that most could care less about our dressing. Probably the only ones that care are our family and close friends. The others couldn't give a rip!

[Ashlee]

My first time "out" en femme was this past weekend. I got a makeover for a Halloween party. I walked in to the studio male and walked out dressed female. Of course this was night-time when I walked out. I had a makeover the week before and had pics taken outside in broad daylight, 40' away from passing cars. I was petrified. I did get a "woo" and a "yeah baby" from a passing guy in a pickup truck which felt kinda neat. I posted about it in the "photo gallery". Anyway, I drove home completely en femme and even stopped for gas too but I was the only customer there. I must say the whole drive home my heart wasn't pounding, I didn't fear being pulled over or much of anything. I went to the party and it was a HUGE hit with everyone. I just got the pics back today, a lot are just ok, nothing that is "earth shattering" but it was fun. I'm on the fence as to posting here or not.

[Carla4Guage]

I've found that after 4 looks (OK 5 looks) in the mirror and checking that I haven't put my wig on inside out I figure that I'm not going to be the worst looking gal in the mall & I just go for it.:2c:

[LA CINDY LOVE]

My first time out I was very excited but once I got to the club I got shaky then I got scared I drove around the club checking out the girls so many times that my gas light came on so I told myself the next parking sport I see I will stop and get out, then a spot open up I park told my self to get out and go in side and once I got into the club I told my self what was I so scared of I had a great time no one cared who I was and I dance the night away..........CINDY was hooked.

I do feel that we all are a little shaky are first time out but the first time is always the one that give you a little scared after that it is pure EXCITEMENT
..................TO WALK ON THE WILD SIDE.


LA CINDY LOVE

[charllote34]

I was excited , scared , nervous and terrified worse than watching a England penalty shootout !!!!:D

[MonikaW]

Like most of the girls here, I was definitely terrified the first time I went out. It was about 17 years ago. One night I finally got the nerve to step outside my apartment. It was about 8pm or so. I simply stepped outside and went for a walk in the neighborhood. At the time I lived on a busy street in DC (Wisconsin Ave) and walked around the block on a crisp autumn evening. I was probably outside no more than 15 minutes and was shaking the entire time. I got back home and instantly felt relief and joy. I had gone out as a woman, and nothing happened. It was the ultimate high for me, and I never looked back. Now being a woman in public is second nature for me, and I never give it much of a thought.

[Eugenie]

Was all of you scared or afraid the first time you went out dressed up like a woman? How did you finally get over being scared or afraid? I really want to go out but am afraid somebody I know might see me seeing how the only person that knows this about my other side is my wife?

I was indeed scared the first time I went out. But it wasn't of being recognized... The first time I went out, it was in Manhattan, so the risk of meeting someone from France (where I live) was minimal.

What was scary for me was being in a crowd "en femme" for the first time. I knew I was really a beginer and didn't really look feminine... I know that "passing" is a myth, but at the point I was then, it was a disaster, at least that's how I felt... The scariest moment was when my friend dropped me off while she was going to park her car in the near by garrage... I was alone in the streets of the Big apple... And further more in a large condominium, with vast deserted pedestrian ways... Two young men were coming my way and I tried to remain calm...

In the end nothing happened to me... But it took me some time to go out again...

One thing though, I never go out "en femme" alone...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Jordan]

The first time I went out I was really not ready to go. It was a spur of the moment decision, influenced heavily by an experienced cross dresser who just wanted someone to go out with. I was still a novice at makeup and the clothes I had with me in my car were more fetish than practical. None the less he convinced me to give it a try and we went to a local drag queen bar called the Queen Mary. I was terrified. I had no idea how to present myself as a "woman." I was used to just getting dressed up at home, enjoying myself and then putting the clothes away. Going out in public? Well that was an entirely different matter!

When we first walked in the bouncer asked me if I would be drinking or not. This took me back as I was not actually prepared to speak. I said "no" in the highest voice I could. I felt ridiculous, but just kept going. I had difficulty walking as I was not used to walking in five inch heels and the dress I wore was ankle length and sewn up tight (fetish). The first patron in the club I saw loudly said, "Whoa!" I'm not sure if that was a positive or negative reaction to the way I was dressed, but the magnitude of it made me feel uneasy. Shortly after another guy walked by and called me a fag. I didn't like that at all. I spent the rest of the time sitting by myself at a table avoiding eye contact and hoping no one would bother me. My friend had gone off dancing with guys and left me to sit and watch the drag queen show by myself. After about an hour and a half of that I just wanted to leave. I found my friend and begged him to take me home. He wasn't ready, but he knew I was miserable so he got me out of there.

So what did I learn from all that?

1) Don't go out until you're ready (only you know when that time is...not someone else)
2) Wear something practical
3) Practice walking, moving, sitting, speaking, applying makeup, etc. until you feel comfortable
4) Be brave
5) Be prepared for anything (including people who don't like you)

thaks for for advice I will use it

[trannie T]

My first time out was only fifteen years ago, I still remember the terror. It was Halloween, I decided to go to a gay bar where I'd seen a few girls before. I checked into a hotel next to the bar and dressed. I was completely terrified as I left the room and got into the elevator, thankfully the car was empty, and started down. Of course the elevator stopped on the very next floor and two couples got in. The looked at me and laughed a bit. I got off at the ground floor and teetered across the parking lot in my heels. I found an empty stool where I remained for the rest of the night and ordered a drink. I stayed there for several hours the only person I spoke with was the bartender and thet was only to order a drink. During the evening I managed to relax a bit.
When I go out now I still feel the same fear as I go out the door but soon relax.

If you are considering going out, do it. It can be great fun. If you live in a small town as I do halloween is a perfect excuse. I've one out twice on Halloween here and had a terrific time without making too much of a fool of myself.

[Beth-GDB]

Was I scared the first time I went out in public dressed. Yes.

I've been taking things in steps. Just out to the letterbox, a walk around the block, going for longer walks, that sort of thing. The last outing was just to the supermarket and I'm certain I was read by one male staff member there. I noticed him giving me some odd looks but didn't let it bother me.

I'm not someone who wants to make a statement and stand out from the crowd, I'd much rather blend in and not attract attention, so I'm trying to develop a minimal look that doesn't turn heads. If I can find a way that can hide my beard shadow without using half a pound of conceiler/foundation makeup in the process then that would be good.

[Cindi Johnson]

Scared, yes, very much so. I was fairly young and had moved to a southern state and a city which, at that time, occasionally had its troublemakers turn up dead in the bayou behind the city's police headquarters (Houston, TX). I worried that I was breaking the law (technically I was) and my fledgling career would self-destruct if I were caught. Add the usual worry about being read (which is bound to happen in the beginning), and it was not all pleasant. Yet after that night I was hooked!

Now it's an everyday thing, so the excitement factor has greatly diminished, even as a more sublime feeling of pleasure (or inner peace?) has strengthened.

As for passing, it actually is easier when the stores are crowded. Yet sometimes it's better shopping on weekdays when there's more time and room to look over the racks of clothes.

Cindi Johnson

[Jordan]

Yeah I was scared but still went out and sometinmes still a little shaky but love to do it anyways.

so you dont worry about anything

[Jordan]

Scared, yes, very much so. I was fairly young and had moved to a southern state and a city which, at that time, occasionally had its troublemakers turn up dead in the bayou behind the city's police headquarters (Houston, TX). I worried that I was breaking the law (technically I was) and my fledgling career would self-destruct if I were caught. Add the usual worry about being read (which is bound to happen in the beginning), and it was not all pleasant. Yet after that night I was hooked!

Now it's an everyday thing, so the excitement factor has greatly diminished, even as a more sublime feeling of pleasure (or inner peace?) has strengthened.

As for passing, it actually is easier when the stores are crowded. Yet sometimes it's better shopping on weekdays when there's more time and room to look over the racks of clothes.

Cindi Johnson
i bet the one on one help is great

[leex]

never could go out fully dressed. i just went out with some make-up and underwear inside as usual and that was scary , dont know how would i feel if i were full dressed. i will try it in my next visit to istanbul. istanbul nights are the best to make a beginning :)

[Billijo49504]

Hell no, I was carring a loaded gun.....BJ

[cool_kyle_3000]

same here. I was scared. I was underdone but no one said anything to me. My big fear was not what people said but talking to people. Being at guy I have a deep voice and that was hard to get over. It is nice being 18. So much to choose from when I go shopping. Only been out 2 times but will be out more when my wig arrives in the mail.

[Michelia]

I was lucky I had my SO with me. She did most of the talking and introduced me as "her girl". I finally decided to go after I was helped on by many of the mambers here. It was my SO's idea. I knew I was not ready but went ahead anyway.

I have not been out enfemme again. After seeing the pictures of our outing, I realized how much like a guy I looked and I am spooked now. I also know now why the guy at the hotel dropped his keys and then his cellphone. I also know why the guy at the hamburger joint looked awed by me. "He has some guts" he must have thought!

Michelia

[AlysonCD]

Was I scared the first time I went out? Well, considering, I was pulled over by the cops and made to get out of my car and grilled about what I was doing there and what not, yeah, you could say I was scared..lol

[Littlej10]

Like all the other girls I was almost rigid with fear. I was shure that I would forget something essential and so went over every detail of makeup and dress at least 4 times. The first time out was to a club meeting in a small town about 30 miles away. The girls were very friendly and encouraging so, since I had a rare day alone, I went out to a town 15 miles away and did some sinmple shopping. The fear was efen greater for this trip since it was into a more public arena. There were some knowing glances between shop assistants but they were all very pleasant and no comments were made. I have not been out many times but the adrenaline rush is fantastic each time. Unless you are remarkably well prepared in both appearance and manner you will be read, particularly by GGs. Go to a protected environment first or just drive as a first outing, I have a motorhome and really enjoy driving around in it, a lone female in a large CH always attracts attention. Good luck, go for it and enjoy the rush.

[Tamera]

I vagly remember my first time out about 30 years ago. I was scared to get out of the car. I walked into the mall about 100 feet and stood in the shadows. I quickly left and just drove around in my car, scared to get out. I know I was not even good with makeup back then or had padding and breastforms, so I could just imagine what I looked like.
Hugs,
Tamera

[Joy Carter]

Oddly enough it was a year ago this week that I first went out.

Had a great time. Met some new friends. And looked absolutely terrible.

And I didn't want the night to end. :D

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

:happy:I used Halloween today as my first time out, went to work won the most creative award. I was dressed totally in femme, minus facial makeup. Had shaved all over, legs, arms and chest. The day went so well, many good comments from the girls at work, even comments from the guy's on how well I looked. Halloween took alot of pressure off of the first time out. Now I just need to get the courage to do it again, other than work.:happy:

[Jordan]

yes but how do you get it

[Sallee]

I am always scared to some degree but I think that is what makes it fun I have found that once I loss the fear (thrill) of going out dressed it is no fun So then I usually stop dressing for a while and then the thrill returns. :happy:

[Jordan]

My first time out was at a Party. I had butterfly's, but Joanie's desire to finally get some freedom, trumped any of my little objections. I smoothed down my skirt and sat down on the sofa. My very first encounter was with a very outrageous queen, who was dressed in nothing but a Harness and a Greek Fishermen's Cap! She picked me to sit down next to, and proceeded to do her best to shake me up. Lots of outrageousness, and random stroking, and touching of my arms and thighs. I decided right then and there, "If I can deal with this sort of thing, first time out....I can deal with anything!"

I can't imagine doing the first time out ALONE, or going to The Mall the first time, where one could face hostility. I had a group of people, who were like-minded souls and it sure made things easier. I would suggest that you go out with your wife, or find a Support Group. You just can't imagine how much easier that will make the whole process. As nutty as my first time experience was, (I also met a rubber queen that night and a Dom,) I think it was still easier than facing The World alone.

Ah, but here's the real kicker! Unless your one of the very few, no matter what your first time out experience, you will find yourself wanting to repeat it. For almost everyone the experiences are exhilarating and addictive. Going out En Femme is very much like Pandora's Box. Once your get out.....you ain't going back!

Peace and Love, Joanie

Thank you you are very right :hugs: