I won't change sex

[Nyx]

I have always wanted to be a girl for as long as I remember and came to realise that I was somewhat of a transexual. Yet I don't want to have a sex change, or take hormones, or get any surgery for that.

The risks involved are simply too great for my liking. I want to have a career, I don't want my mother to die of a heart attack, and I want to have children later... I also constantly get this thought... That if my soulmate is a heterosexual woman, I don't want to blow my chances with the said person. The last, and probably the most important reason is that I would want it now, and not in 20 years... And I would want it to be done with the best. We are talking about an investment of about $100K, which is alot for a student thats already in debt.

I recently met a few full-time TS people, and I was saddened. It seems none of them ever got it complete (fully complete)... And they all have dramas behind them, due to their choice, or are simply aggressive because they live under so much pressure... And I don't mean to offend anyone here... But the percentage of transexuals that pass very well is in the order of 25% or less from what I've seen, and thats an optimistic estimate. I would want to be a real woman, that looks, sounds and gets treated like one.

The truth is, I feel like transexuality is a problem nobody understands. Nobody can tell you what your gender identity is, nobody can clearly define what it means to be transexual, and even myself, I don't know if I really am.

I want to "play it safe"... And so I will only allow myself to crossdress from time to time. At least, it helps that I am attracted to women... That way, I can live somewhat of a normal life as a man.

[Sweet Susan]

Nyx,
I'm glad to hear you talking this way. You are thinking, and that is important. You are young, and you will know what you want eventually, there is no need in doing something rash and regretting. If you are attracted to women, then you don't want to be having a sex change. Sex changes are permanent. Hang in there and keep your head on. Wear panties when you feel like it. Enjoy your desires to be feminine, but don't do anything rash. Good luck.

[crispy]

welcome to the long hard road of deception, deceit, frustration and compromise! :( most of us are on that same road.

I am not surprised that the TS girls you have met don't feel 'complete'. We all search for that elusive state of contentment. Few people will ever feel they have reached it, even those who have no gender or identity issues.

I am so grateful for this wonderful family who help to support and understand all of us members (and a few lurkers out there as well :) :p )

[RachelDenise]

Most changes are permanent and irreversible. I believe the best thing is to experience life a little more and see what really does it for you. There is no hurry. Many of us are older (like me), have dressed and thought about sex changes and other issues for many years. Tap into this well here and get some more information. I think you are wise not too rush into anything. With any luck, you'll meet a woman who wants the same thing as you: that is, a gurlie husband, children and a future together. Just look around the forum and see how many GG's fit in this situation. Don't give up hope and keep it real!

[Tristen Cox]

I found myself thinking about this lately. Even that small percentage that DOES pass after all the money and surgeries and life changes occur, are they really women? Do they really feel like women? Are they truely happy? Many live under a blind that they still hide behind. They give up a hell of a lot and may lose many friends and family members along their path. Why do all of it to achieve something so close yet still end up unhappy. I may get 'some' facial surgeries just to be able to pass when needed with make up on, but to grow breasts and have SRS(GRS whatever) I don't think so. You have to be happy with who you are not what you look like. That's my thoughts.

Love
T

[stevie h]

i think about this all the time. I am not exagerating when i say i can count the times i am not thinking easier. There is so much truth ( real truth) in what has been said. I think for now i will try and be happy as i am. This is a mega compromise on my part but i know it makes sense. that is such a horrible saying. If i delete it out though no one will know. anyway i am trying to make the most of what i have and to be happy. Sometimes the bugger creeps up behind me when i am not looking. now i just whack it with my really quite large suede with tassels handbag. the one with a special lippy pouch for quick easy access.



stevie


xx

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Nyx,

I am glad you are giving this so much thought and are concidering your future.So many of us on the forum have loving ,caring GGs and are happy just to crossdress.We can be women in our minds when we wish and can be guys when we wish or when necessary. Keep searching I'm sure you will find a good,loving,caring GG to share your life with.I know I did.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Aloha_Dana]

Nyx, You, myself, we all will have questions that we wish we had answers to. I hear you asking, 'what am I'? You could get the help of a therapist, who might help you answer your own question (well a good one will - a sh*tty one will tell you what s/he wants to say). Friends here in this forum can offer help, but you and only you can answer your questions.

Questions are good, specially the tough ones. They lead to a path. But don't loose sight of the journey. Love yourself, then you can love others.

Aloha,
Dana

[Nyx]

It just seems pointless to spend so much, on all aspects, for something that still ain't close enough to "the real thing". If one day, in the future, a genetic way to transform men into women is invented though, I might consider it.

[AnnaMaria]

I have to say that while the thought crossed my mind when I first really figured out what had been different about me all my life, but I very quickly realized that transition what not in my future. For one thing I enjoy the life that I have with my wife and kids and would never want to loose that and for another I realize that even though I would love to be able to dress more femme all the time that there are times when that type of clothing would just noe work. Granted the times are few and far between but they never the less do pop up and I have to deal with them as they do. Though I am working toward replacing all of the clothes that I can that are mens with womens of the same type. including jeans and dress pants. But then I consider myself to be somewhere between a crossdresser and a transsexual and my only wish is to be able to wear what is comfortable and fitting for the situation.

huggs
anna