Please help me understand if you can...

[JennyCA]

...to understand the intense feelings I have am feeling for another crossdresser. If you have followed my contributions to this forum, or to give clarity here and now, I am divorced after a long-term marriage, and singularly heterosexual in all intimate relations.previous. Now I have found myself having an intense attraction, combined with the strong bond that comes in revealing one's true self to no one else heretofore revealed. Romantic feelings more intense at an early stage than with any gg I can remember.

I want to pursue a getting to know this person, and to take things slow (being 2000 miles apart helps keep a slower pace). The input I am asking is twofold: one, I worru that I will not at some point vacillate toward wanting to be with a gg again (and hurt another in the vacillation); two, for those with similar experience, what did you learn through it?

I would have bet the farm that I would never be asking such questions in this lifetime.


Thanks all,

Jenny

[Melissa A.]

Hi Jenny,

That is very tricky, especially considering the distance. If you get to spend some time with this person, and it ends up working out, then I'm happy for you. But you might need to ask yourself a couple of things:

I did not go back and look at your previous posts, but you used the term crossdresser to describe both of you. I'm going to assume that both of you are not enfemme full time. So are you attracted to the whole person?

Have you seen pics of her as a man?

Are you prepared to be in a relationship with her when she, and you, are in male mode? What I am obviously getting at, is, as crossdressers, you both have a life when you are not dressed. Are you just attracted to the image of the girl you see? are you prepared to be together, as a couple, as guys?

A relationship is all the time. When you say you are singularly heterosexual, I guess that means you are thinking this through, so maybe all I have said is unecessary. Just be sure you do not hurt another person because you are attracted to a fantasy that cannot be maintaned 24/7 in an intimate relationship.

I'm sorry. Maybe fantasy is not quite the right word. The girl part of us is real too. But I think you know what I mean.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

[KarenXDR]

Melissa - you said it all - perceptively, thoughtfully and succinctly, I might add.

There's little to add, Jen, without the clarification Melissa cited.

You've also got some reviewing to do: in your past love lives, do you have a history of infatuation? Think hard. Also, by your own admission you're heterosexual - are you discovering you're bi? Are you SURE you're heterosexual?

All in all, I sense a "puppy love" that, while it may survive the test of time, will not meet the requirements of exclusivity. And you haven't told us if your new "love" even requires exclusivity.

Don't be in a rush with this one....and good luck!

Karen

[Tristen Cox]

From personal experience, my first time finding someone like myself(TS/CD) did not work out in the end. We hit it off just fine talked and became very close in a short period of time. Mind you we were more than a few thousand miles away from each other so there as no actual contact. Even in drab we felt the same way for each other and to my best knowledge we were in love. Nothing sexual between us just companionship. Situations and circumstances in our lives conflicted with our relations and eventually desolved us. However I had always thought that if there was anyone who could take my heart and be of the same sex it would indeed be something. Well I found that person last year, and I still have a place for her in my heart. Not sure how this might help you Jenny. Just be true to yourself and things will happen as they are meant to be. My best hopes for you.

Love
Tristen