Therapist question

[Maggie Kay]

I have a confusing situation regarding my new therapist. The therapist specializes in LBGT and is a transman in his twenties. He is licensed but is under supervision of a clinical psychologist. No one in the program has experience with TG. The program is specifically for LBGT individuals and is a new program funded by the state of California. I saw him three times and on the third session we had to go over my diagnosis and a set of goals so that he could get approval for a further 25 sessions. I am his first TG client. The issue is that on the form my diagnosis was an adjustment disorder but not GID. The rest of the document details evidence of the diagnosis but they are all gender identity issues. According to my reading of the HBSOC, there is overwhelming evidence that GID is my primary issue. I asked him why GID was not there and he wouldn't say exactly except that it was a controversial diagnosis and he didn't want to saddle me with it. I think it was that he didn't believe that GID was a proper diagnosis for anyone. Now in session we haven't talked about my gender feelings much rather most is on my history of child abuse and a catastrophic divorce. So he did this diagnosis without knowing much about my gender issues.

I have asked him to give me a referral letter to a local endo who specializes in TG patients but he not only does not know her, he says that he has to call her to see what she needs to have in the letter before he can write one. (A bit of background, I am on DIY Estradiol gel and spiro and trying to get to see an endo to get proper care. He knows of my seven year history of DIY HRT) I was of the understanding that the letters like this are often generic and I could take it to any endo of my choice. He has never written one of these letters. I have asked him every session and he agreed to do it but it is clear that he hasn't even looked into what is supposed to be in such a letter.

This all brings up a decision point for me. It seems like the therapist is unable to understand MTF Transgender treatment issues and unresponsive to my questions. I am thinking that this is strike two in my attempts to go to therapy. I have lost confidence in his ability to treat me. I plan to call today and cancel my participation in this program.

[Maggie Kay]

Hi Minerva,
I agree with you loss of confidence seems to destroy the ability to take any advise. Better to wait until I can get a more experienced therapist for a very complex case such as mine.

BTW, Victoria is one of the places I hope to settle in sometime in the next few years. Vancouver is also. Lovely places and people.

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Maggie

I only have a sec...I firmly believe that you're wasting your time if you're not comfortable with who you talk too.

Karen Starlene

[Maggie Kay]

Karen,
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with your being in Thailand and all that is going on. I very much appreciate your advise. I did call and withdraw from the program a few minutes ago. This therapist was not being up front with me. I now think that they do not have a program that is set up for MTF transitioners, rather to counsel TG persons on non TG matters. Kind of like having counseling for people with red hair. It has no relationship to the real problem.

The first one was much more professional and diagnosed me easily as TS. So much so that I was permitted to join his TS group with a dozen pre and post op TS folks. That it went sour over communication problems and cost is regrettable but his knowledge and client care was very good.


I am very disappointed and will hope that someday I can get help with this issue. The way it left me is that I have to prove that I am transgender and there is no way to prove that. Even my SO now thinks that I may just be overly connecting to my feminine side. With B cup breasts....
It makes me feel so helpless.

[Sharon]

You would think being a transman himself, that he would not have qualms about saddling you with a diagnosis that seems more apt than the one he provided. I wonder why he is trans if he only thinks he himself just has an "adjustment disorder." Is is just semantics to him?

Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable with him, I agree with the others that you should look for another therapist. Good ones are out there, but sometimes finding the right one for you can be a challenge.

[RylieCD]

My therepist also did not diagnosis me "officially" as GID and the reason was that some insurances would question it and may not pay. So he did not want to burden me with the cost of his services.

[Maggie Kay]

This was a state funded program and free.

[Stephenie S]

My therepist also did not diagnosis me "officially" as GID and the reason was that some insurances would question it and may not pay. So he did not want to burden me with the cost of his services.

This is true for me also. I do not carry a diagnosis of GID nor do I want one. Once that happens, you are pretty well locked in to it. It will follow you everywhere for the rest of your life. Personality Disorder is what did it for me, and I am happy with that diagnosis.

Almost EVERY insurance program in the states will deny you coverage for GID, now and in the future. Perhaps your therapist knows more than you think.

Anyway, I do think you have a communication problem, and if you can't communiate with your therapist, then you need a new therapist. But it is not just HE who is not communicating, dear. You owed him a discussion of your doubts BEFORE you s***canned him.

JMHO, hon.

Stephie

[stacie]

I would try and find someone who has treated other transgender people. You may not have GID, or you may.

[Maggie Kay]

Over the weekend,as I have let this information settle in my mind, I have become increasingly worried that I am insane. My SO feels that the reason I was not given the GID diagnosis is that this therapist's supervisor suspects that I am not TG but mentally disturbed. When I asked a direct question of the therapist, he was evasive and wouldn't look at me. It is true that I had a lot of childhood abuse and that my mother told me when I was six that I was supposed to be a girl. However, I lived most of my life in the male role, at least, I thought I was. Only in the last seven years has TG become dominant. The clinic has no experience in TG but still since they are "experts" and I am the client, I cannot dismiss what they said. I am so upset about this that I am in a near state of panic. I can't go back to the therapist because I lost confidence and my SO was treated so coldly that she won't see them either. I just don't know where to turn now. Am I supposed to find a shrink that specializes in people doing act and look TG but are not TG? Who does that? What kind of nutcase am I?

[Cara Allen]

It has been said already, but I will say it again. If you are not happy with the support, ask them at the clinic for a different therapist or go elsewhere if they choose not to change him for you. It should be a reasonable request, as no one makes progress if they don't like their therapist.

Therapists sometimes get this attitude that you are the patient, and what you think is not relevant (!)

After over 20 years in therapy, I have the opinion that these folks are only human, and make more mistakes than they should be allowed to. One of the big mistakes is that if they know nothing about your condition, they will keep you around, paying the tab while they about your condition FROM you. Sounds like you are paying him to learn about GID. Dump him. He's waisting your time.

[Maggie Kay]

Cara,
I tend to agree with you but with my family now treating me as if I have some mental condition that makes me act like a female, I can't keep up my own ideas under the new pressure. This therapist has been told I won't return and why. No comment by him other than his surprize that he thought I was happy with how things were going. That he was saying he was writing a HRT letter for me ( his first one) while not diagnosing me as GID makes me feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. He is the Program Coordinator for LBGT and there are no other therapists with any TG expertise in the clinic so I am left once again to fend for my self. My previous therapist was much better but my SO doesn't want me to see him because he holds sessions for people struggling with BDSM issues. I have to find a therapist that is low cost and who she approves. This is impossible.

[AmberTG]

Well Maggie, you do have a mental condition that makes you act like a female! It's called Gender Identity Disorder. It's very real and very pervasive, it affects every part of who you are and, if not properly treated, leads to the condition known as Gender Dysphoria. Gender Dysphoria is not the cause of the problem, it is a result of the problem. The depression, anxiety, and near panic are all symptoms of the dysphoria caused by your inability to properly deal with the identity problem. Most people need the help of a properly trained therapist, one who understands gender identity issues. The therapist that you just had obviously isn't familiar enough with GID to be able to help you properly. You just need to find a therapist who is properly qualified.

[Maggie Kay]

Amber,
You would think that the therapist who is a transman and who is the "LBGT program coordinator" would be knowledgeable about it! He would not say why it was not included but that it could be included later as a secondary diagnosis. Maybe. All he would say was that GID was controversial. His weaseling about it made my SO convinced that I am not TG and all the progress I had made to get her to accept is now gone. She prefers that I have some unspecified mental problem that makes me pretend to be female but that underneath am male. Now, I can't ever prove that I am female.

Now, I am back in drab wearing my seven year old male pants and shirts. I only have two outfits so now I can't even wear clean clothes. I am p***ed off about this big time.


I know that my situation is unstable even though she is happy now. I'm doing everything I can to keep myself from crashing so I am burying myself in work even to the point of getting up at 4 AM to come to the workstation. I do CAD design work. In the past, when I hit walls like this it was really bad and I got unbearably sullen and could not work for months. This really scares me.

[Christinedreamer]

Where in California are you? I have an very good friend in Southern California who is in transition and is the driector of an AIDS support group, has appeared on Capitol Hill, is heavily involved the the whole GLBTS community and obviously has special interests in the "T" section. I am sure she can point you to a bevy of truly qualified therapists and not Johhny-come-latlelys who just want to jump on a unique bandwagon. Its like hairstylists doing BoTox injections. They are not trained, qualified or insured for that procedure and are an inherent danger.

By contast there are those who push you past where you feel comfortable for their own interest. My ex GF was in clinical depression and we found a therapist for her that was approved by her insurance. Her depression was not due to my lifestyle but rather a long debilitating medical condition of her own and her daughters lifestyle and pathological lying. By coincidence, her daughter was lesbian (sort of) and had a short affair with a pre-op Tgirl.
When my GF mentioned transsexual to the therapist his focus shifted from my GF to the TS individual who was not involved with my GF in any way.

Needless to say we dropped his "services" immediately.

Please don't give up or accept an inaccurate diagnosis. There are legitimate therapist out there and they will you lead where you need to go.

Most important of all is never let anyone tell you how you feel. They may help you to guide your feelings and actions but never let anyone belittle or dismiss your feelings- they are NOT inside you. I have had a very recent occurence of this and it only serves to drive you further from the peace and acceptance you need to achieve for yourself.

If you would like some referrals, just email me.


Christine

[Maggie Kay]

Christine,
These folks are in a new state funded program and are well intentioned but clearly T is not a major part of the program. The supervisor, who I never met, is a clinical psychologist who has no T experience so I suspect that they preferred to classify me as something that they are more familiar with. Still it bends my brain to imagine why they were so obtuse. I guess I will never know. I am not in SoCal so I can't take advantage of your offer. Thanks anyway.

[JennMW]

Maggie, is there ANY chance that funding for your therapy would be affected if they did give you a GID diagnosis?

I've heard stories about some insurance companies that would pay if the diagnosis was depression or anxiety, but not GID?

just a passing thought...

Jennifer

ps, When interviewing a potential therapist, you may want to ask them if they are familiar with http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm
It does outline just what they need to do.

[Maggie Kay]

Jennifer,
Thanks for the link. I did discuss the HBSOC with him and he seemed to have knowledge of it and because he is a transman, I assumed that he went through the whole program on the FTM side. He totally passed BTW, I had no clue until he told me his background.

The program is a new state program specifically for LBG and T counseling. It would be amazing that GID would not be funded in a program for Transgender individuals. That is like not funding a cancer patient because he has cancer and is treated in a free cancer treatment clinic. This therapist only has LBG clients and now only one beginning T client. I was his most advanced case and the first in the clinic to ask for transition assistance.

[Cara Allen]

Cara,
I tend to agree with you but with my family now treating me as if I have some mental condition that makes me act like a female, I can't keep up my own ideas under the new pressure. This therapist has been told I won't return and why. No comment by him other than his surprize that he thought I was happy with how things were going. That he was saying he was writing a HRT letter for me ( his first one) while not diagnosing me as GID makes me feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. He is the Program Coordinator for LBGT and there are no other therapists with any TG expertise in the clinic so I am left once again to fend for my self. My previous therapist was much better but my SO doesn't want me to see him because he holds sessions for people struggling with BDSM issues. I have to find a therapist that is low cost and who she approves. This is impossible.

Given the fact that he is in charge of the gender clinic and by his position, it raises another thought... is he playing you for some reason? Is he pretending to be dumb to see what you want, or demand? Maybe he is testing you?

Just a thought? Also, since he is a F to M, maybe he is just uncomfortable with you? Get a female therapist?

[Maggie Kay]

I tried to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and not ascribe this kind of thing to him but some things just didn't add up. I was very clear on every session what I wanted and in specific. He just kept asking questions about my childhood and past marriage. I needed a carry letter and a letter for HRT but he hadn't written either and really I was educating him it seemed.
I am getting the impression from the answers here that I am not insane but that it was a mis match. I'm now thinking that the program that they have is to counsel, not aid in MtF transition. I asked for that and was told that he hadn't done that for anyone yet but could help me. Perhaps the supervisor decided that it was out of their area and to limp leg it with me.

This makes me feel better. Now if I could repair the damage to my spouse's opinion of me that would be nice.

[noname]

The issue is that on the form my diagnosis was an adjustment disorder but not GID. The rest of the document details evidence of the diagnosis but they are all gender identity issues. According to my reading of the HBSOC, there is overwhelming evidence that GID is my primary issue. I asked him why GID was not there and he wouldn't say exactly except that it was a controversial diagnosis and he didn't want to saddle me with it.

I worked in mental health medical billing for short time so perhaps I can shed some light on this. I saw this physcological adjustment code so often I inquired to my supervisor about it.

Here is what I was told. For some doctors it can be standard practice to use physcological adjustment code for almost everything. The reason is for privacy concerns. Say you were going to the Dr. for depression or anxiety. You may not want insurance or other person to know just how bad the condition is. If insurance or some other authorized person needs to know the details they can contact the Physician for details. I can't confirm all this, it's just what I was told.

Cancel if you must, but I would not cancel because you were not given the GID code.

[Cara Allen]

I tried to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and not ascribe this kind of thing to him but some things just didn't add up. I was very clear on every session what I wanted and in specific. He just kept asking questions about my childhood and past marriage. I needed a carry letter and a letter for HRT but he hadn't written either and really I was educating him it seemed.

I have had the same problem recently, and I told them that we can invest time in the whole history of a crossdresser thing, but that I am a pretty well adjusted poerson with this one exception, which is not amenable to therapy. I also told her that I have had 20 years of therapy, have gained alot from it, but that there is only one piece of work that I need to do... Get him focused!



I am getting the impression from the answers here that I am not insane but that it was a mis match. I'm now thinking that the program that they have is to counsel, not aid in MtF transition. I asked for that and was told that he hadn't done that for anyone yet but could help me. Perhaps the supervisor decided that it was out of their area and to limp leg it with me.

This makes me feel better. Now if I could repair the damage to my spouse's opinion of me that would be nice.

I have recently been accepted into a program, as well. This place, even though it has a great reputation, is known for dragging their feet, especially when there is family, the TG is young, etc., etc. For me, all I really want is hormones (at least at this point,) so it won't matter. As things progress, we'll see how much I can/can/t get done.

Since he has said that he can help you, why not ask him what he intends to do to help you? Indicate that you are not pleased with the support so far. Tell him that you do not think this is a good fit.

Another thing you can do, to get your thoughts together, is to sit down and put it all in a long letter...don't hold anything back! Don't be rude, no name calling, but be clear about what you expected, and where they are failing you. In the letter, ask him for concrete indications about what you can expect from him in therapy, and when you can expect it. Otherwise you will have to terminate the relationship.

I wouldn't give up on it yet. Give it one more chance. He may not know what you expect, and is waiting for you to tell him. I know you asked for the letter, but he is not going to give you that unless he is sure that you are a solid candidate? Could that be it?

Good luck, Maggie!

[Maggie Kay]

Cara,
I was very specific as to my goals every session I made it clear how important the carry letter was as well as the HRT. He indicated that he was working on them and it was a matter of getting it typed and his supervisor to sign it. That is after he figured out what the local endo that handles TG cases needs. This area was going along fairly well.
I was concerned that he didn't realize that the endo might not prescribe hormone therapy for a patient with only an adjustment disorder. That he was so evasive and wouldn't give me a clear answer as to why GID was not there shocked me. My wife of course jumped on this big time when I told her and now she is completely convinced that I am not TG in any way shape or form.

I got to the point where this was beginning to bother me and when he dissed my wife when she asked to meet, that was it. She told me in no uncertain terms that she will never see this person. That was the final nail in the coffin. I had to stop seeing my previous therapist because she disapproved of him. I knew that if I continued seeing this new guy, I would have to know I was seeing someone she felt was unsuitable.

Finally, I sent the therapist a wrap up email and told him in detail why I dropped out and what the effects of not having the diagnosis did to me with regard to my family situation. It was not rude or angry but I told him how hurt I was.

[Cara Allen]

Cara,
I was very specific as to my goals every session I made it clear how important the carry letter was as well as the HRT. He indicated that he was working on them and it was a matter of getting it typed and his supervisor to sign it. That is after he figured out what the local endo that handles TG cases needs. This area was going along fairly well.
I was concerned that he didn't realize that the endo might not prescribe hormone therapy for a patient with only an adjustment disorder. That he was so evasive and wouldn't give me a clear answer as to why GID was not there shocked me. My wife of course jumped on this big time when I told her and now she is completely convinced that I am not TG in any way shape or form.

I got to the point where this was beginning to bother me and when he dissed my wife when she asked to meet, that was it. She told me in no uncertain terms that she will never see this person. That was the final nail in the coffin. I had to stop seeing my previous therapist because she disapproved of him. I knew that if I continued seeing this new guy, I would have to know I was seeing someone she felt was unsuitable.

Finally, I sent the therapist a wrap up email and told him in detail why I dropped out and what the effects of not having the diagnosis did to me with regard to my family situation. It was not rude or angry but I told him how hurt I was.


Well done. I can't think of anything I would have done differently. I am sorry that someone like that is a therapist.

[Maggie Kay]

The therapist called and we chatted for about a half an hour about the issues. He was affirming that he always was supportive of my gender identity as female. I asked again about the lack of GID diagnosis. He feels that GID is a pathological psychiatric description for a medical condition and it is inappropriate for use. He did acknowledge that it may need to be in the letter to the endo. What has been now established is that my SO is using the information ( that I gave her) incorrectly for her own needs and that I am out of therapy and cannot return. He did invite me back and I would if my SO would agree. However, that is not likely to ever happen since she is now convinced that I am not TG.

[Cara Allen]

The therapist called and we chatted for about a half an hour about the issues. He was affirming that he always was supportive of my gender identity as female. I asked again about the lack of GID diagnosis. He feels that GID is a pathological psychiatric description for a medical condition and it is inappropriate for use. He did acknowledge that it may need to be in the letter to the endo. What has been now established is that my SO is using the information ( that I gave her) incorrectly for her own needs and that I am out of therapy and cannot return. He did invite me back and I would if my SO would agree. However, that is not likely to ever happen since she is now convinced that I am not TG.

Could it be that he is trying to protect you from problems down the road by not using the GID terminology?

What can your wife use from that information? Does it really matter that she does not believe this? What would be her design with that?

If this is getting personal, you can email me... If it's none of my business, I would butt out, Maggie.

Having the information you have offered is confusing. Why won't you go back if she does not agree? I know she does not like the therapist, probably because she is "out of the loop" about what is going on with you in therapy. She feels out of control.

[Maggie Kay]

I suspect that he is one of the therapists that takes such offense at the pathologizing stigma of GID that he won't use it unless he absolutely has to. In his opinion, this condition is not pathological, merely a medical condition.


I can't go to a therapist that my SO doesn't like. I have to have her complete "buy in" or it is a no go. That way she can agree more readily with the steps that are taken. If on the other hand I see a therapist that she doesn't agree with, anything I do or change will get some form of disapproval.
Just the way it is and I can't change that.

[Cara Allen]

I suspect that he is one of the therapists that takes such offense at the pathologizing stigma of GID that he won't use it unless he absolutely has to. In his opinion, this condition is not pathological, merely a medical condition.

Given his background, this is possibly the case? He has a personal and up close position on GID and the pathologizing stigma.



I can't go to a therapist that my SO doesn't like. I have to have her complete "buy in" or it is a no go. That way she can agree more readily with the steps that are taken. If on the other hand I see a therapist that she doesn't agree with, anything I do or change will get some form of disapproval.
Just the way it is and I can't change that.

I understand, as I am going through the same circumstances, myself. Please let me know how things are going? We can help each other through?

[Maggie Kay]

An update. Since this episode happened a week ago, my spirits sank and I got pretty angry at my SO. I tried to be civil and keep it together but it showed. She and my daughter and I had a pretty emotional time of it when the tension boiled over. I said that I felt I didn't belong in the family anymore. They said why do I say these things...It was just awful. I felt like I was a monster because I could not stop my anger and they looked at me like I was too. In the end, everyone agreed that I should go back to see this therapist. I called and asked if he would take me back and he graciously did. I have my next appointment tomorrow and then weekly after that. I will be focusing on transition issues and how to deal with my family specifically.

I feel pretty exhausted, we all do. This was a gut wrencher. We are slowly getting the atmosphere cleared and back to some sense of normalcy.

[Cara Allen]

Sometimes things simmer and simmer, and then suddenly the pot boils over. Lots of families have these things smoldering in the background, and they come to the surface in an explosion.
After all is said and done, you will get the assistance you need, and they your wife and daughter will be more in touch with what is going on with you.

I think sometimes, people consider our issues with a smirk, thinking we are just being loopy, or that the proiblem is not that serious. My wife, during one of our discussions, said "I know you think you have to do something about this..." The implication was that this is something that is a choice issue or not that serious.

The suicide rate amoung our people is very, very high. After the fact, loved ones realize that this was serious, and they deeply regret their dismissal.

[Maggie Kay]

Cara,
I completely agree with you. Especially about the seriousness of the condition. I have been sent to places in my mind that were so dark that it scared me and far too many times to boot! All over coping with TG. It was not that I was TG only the lack of acceptance and loss of social position that sent me there. Being shunned over having a medical condition is about the cruelest hurt that I can imagine. Of course, being killed or mutilated tops it but I have only had one incident where my gender issues got me in that kind of danger.

I just returned from my therapy session and saw a draft copy of my carry letter! It is super and says I am under the care of a professional for a medical condition resulting in my transition from male to female. I am to be referred to in female pronouns and allowed to use the women's facilities and locker rooms. There is a statement allowing the therapist to be called and it is signed by two professionals. There was a typo in my name and DOB so I couldn't take it today. I should have it next week. This is so neat! What a lift. Seeing my name and situation written down on paper and signed by professionals helped me in ways I didn't expect. I do feel so much supported by this now.

[Cara Allen]

Cara,
I just returned from my therapy session and saw a draft copy of my carry letter! It is super and says I am under the care of a professional for a medical condition resulting in my transition from male to female. I am to be referred to in female pronouns and allowed to use the women's facilities and locker rooms. There is a statement allowing the therapist to be called and it is signed by two professionals. There was a typo in my name and DOB so I couldn't take it today. I should have it next week. This is so neat! What a lift. Seeing my name and situation written down on paper and signed by professionals helped me in ways I didn't expect. I do feel so much supported by this now.

Congratulations! I am going to ask for my letter, too... I would ask for two copies, take one and have it framed! That is a real "Rite of Passage!!!"

[helenr]

I am very skeptical about therapists. I have difficulty anyone who hasn't transitioned to a female can truly understand how our minds work. Most just want the revenue and probably can't fathom why anyone would want to change sex, crossdress,etc. I believe that excellent, serious feedback from other 'birds of a feather' is the best information one could hope for, and other than time, it is completely free. best to you all, helen

[Sharon]

I am very skeptical about therapists. I have difficulty anyone who hasn't transitioned to a female can truly understand how our minds work. Most just want the revenue and probably can't fathom why anyone would want to change sex, crossdress,etc. I believe that excellent, serious feedback from other 'birds of a feather' is the best information one could hope for, and other than time, it is completely free. best to you all, helen


I agree that speaking with others who have gone through transitioning themselves is the best thing you can do, and the more the better for a more complete spectrum of experiences. However, a good gender therapist can do wonders, especially since our transgenderism reaches into so many other aspects of our lives, which can be unique from other TGs. And not all therapists are in it just for the money. A case in point is my own therapist who told me this past week that I no longer have a need for her services at this time. :happy:

Also -- if anyone is considering prescribed hormone therapy and SRS, you will need a letter from a qualified therapist -- or, more likely, two therapists when it comes to the final op -- to get your foot in the door.

[Kimberley]

If I may. The pdoc has to work with you to tear down the barriers erected over a lifetime. Those barriers are yours. Gender is not an issue and wont be. It is the other barriers erected that must be dealth with and your recognition of how they affect you today.

In my case my pdoc spent almost 3 years with me before she was able to say now we can deal with GID. GID can only be used as a diagnosis after everything else has been dealt with. This is spelled out in the HBSOC. Many pdocs (mine included) do not believe in GID because it minimalizes a healthy person. It is only used as a label and if I ever choose to proceed then it will become a "diagnosis" in order to get the letters of recommendation.

So, be patient. Even so, if you are not comfortable with your therapist you should seek another but I would question him on these points before you do. You just might find the same answers given here... or maybe not. All I can say is this is my experience and my pdoc has been treating the trans community for over 40 years.

Hope this is of some help.

Kimberley

[Maggie Kay]

I have returned to my therapist and things are smoothing out nicely. I am not used to therapy and had a bad experience with my mother years ago about the psychiatric community so I was not the most eager person. In fact, I really didn't want to admit that therapy was needed at all. Now, I am going weekly and while I can't really see a huge amount of progress and have no idea how it will help, at least I am with the "program".

[Kimberley]

Maggie, progress is slow. There is no magic pill so instant gratification just wont happen.

As I said it took 3 years for me and when it happened everything seemed to come together inside of a couple of months. It was like walking into the sunshine from a cave.

You will go through a lot of emotion (good and bad) and shed some tears in the process. Just think of your therapist as a friend who is there to guide you to find your own solutions because that is exactly what he is. He wont get involved other than to be a catalyst.

Good luck hon. I am sure you will be as happy as I have become.

:hugs:
Kimberley