Did You Ever Think and Wonder Why

[Sherlyn]

people may look and stare at you...something I learned a long time ago ......
reading thread after thread about the sounds of heels on pavement ..the wind up your skirt etc etc ..that perhaps some of us that have/had problems going out in public..its only because your so absorbed in the way your clothing affects you.. that you carry yourself in a manner that draws YOU YOURSELF.. attention to YOU ...therefore you dont act very natural ...just try not being so absorbed with what your wearing ..and just do what you went out to do ...works for me ..dont be thinking OMG OMG Im wearing a skirt and heels and Im outside ..so what ..if thats who you are... its no big deal..just be :D

[Rachel Morley]

I think you've hit the nail on the head Sherlyn. :happy: I must admit in the past ... like about 2 years ago, when I first started to go out and/or when the frequency of me going outside in daylight was not very often, I would be self conscious. I always had in the forefront of my mind the thought of "I wonder if they can tell?" ... because people didn't let me know that they could.

I'm absolutely convinced that my thought processes were driving negative behavior, in the sense that I looked nervous or that my mannerisms were not smooth and flowing.Nowadays of course, I go out in broad daylight to regular places as a woman my age would do, and because the frequency has increased too, I've relaxed .... and dare I say it ... the "excitement" is less. This has translated in more confidence and as everyone here tell us, confidence is a big plus towards passing :happy:

[Phoebe Reece]

Sherlyn, you are SO right with that. It really has to do with self-acceptance. If you feel good about yourself, that will show in everything you do. Most of the time, others will pick up on that and react positively as well.

[MJ]

yes it's so true you just have to relax.. you don't get noticed , and when you dress in appreciate clothing for our age we don't get noticed like i say just do it

[Chiana]

Yup. You're right. Good post.

[sara_also]

Absolutly correct. If you dont notice them. Then they won't notice you.
Simple but true..

[Stephenie S]

Add my agreement to the list. Right on, girl!

Stephie

[Kieron Andrew]

you are one smart cookie Sher....

[TxKimberly]

Outstanding advice: "Just be". Two little words that say so much. I like that.
"Just be".

[Patty]

Outstanding advice: "Just be". Two little words that say so much. I like that.
"Just be".

Such goood advise

:hugs:

[Joann0830]

Since my spouse passed and raising my daughter I have put on too much weight on, What I am refering too is this year I turned 59 and said to myself, I am going to stop worrying what others think and say and Just Be Me , the Real Me. I found that walking outside in public is something I have done everyday of my life but not in the clothing I really want to wear, So now I am where I am in life again I say Just Be Me. I had the pleasure of driving almost two hours from where I live to a place in New Jersey to go to my Tri Ess Halloween Party and even asked a N.J.Trooper for directions. It was a wonderful experience. My Daughter who lives with me who is 17 was in awe to see me go out like that. BTW My New Photo Avatar was part my Outfit that I wore and drove in.I have been out before with a GG friend but not by myself for a nice drive like that, then walk into the hotel and ask for the party. I realized if I looked at myself I would bring attention to myself.
I kept thinking, you just have to be you the real you and Just be that person who is always been inside you. This Begining Post was is so accurate.
They always say in Law enforcement its the person who is nervous that brings on the attention to themselves. :heehee::love: Joann

[vivianann]

Sherlyn you are 100% right, I have noticed over time that as I dress more often as a woman in public, and I have become more confident with myself, I have noticed peaple for the most part do not care what I am wearing, yes some peaple notice, and because I am confident, and act normal, I get a smile and hello, and women wanting to talk to me in a positive way about my dressing as a woman. When you act nervous peaple pick up on that real fast,
that is why you need a mentor, such as a GG, or another experienced cder, or a group of women or cders. Once you gain confidence in the way you dress and accept who you are, you will feel a freedom like you have never felt in your whole life.

[SandyR]

I agree! "don't worry, be happy".

Good thread, thanks for sharing.

Hugs!
SandyR

[pamela_a]

Total agreement here too. And after reading these wonderful replies I find I have nothing to add. That's gotta be a first.

-Paula-

[KarenMichelleLuv]

Outstanding advice: "Just be". Two little words that say so much. I like that.
"Just be".

Sherlyn,

How did you get so smart? Kimberly summed it up for me!

[Jordan]

I agree do what ever feels best to you

[Holly]

Yes indeed; become one with your skirt. It's what you wear, not what you are.

[docrobbysherry]

But OMIGOD, do I fear, fear!
RS

[Joni Beauman]

When I am out in public, its usually during an over-night field trip and I am in a, uh, ahemm...government vehicle. A bit anxiety producing, even after many years - I usually have to drive from hotel to shop or eat. It'd be a bit awkward to get outed under those circumstances. I know what you mean, too, about being more detectable the more self-conscious we feel. Oddly enough, an air of confidence seems to make one more invisible. Joni

[trannie T]

As terrified as I might be I try to project an air of confidence. This includes the times I'm dressed or have gone into the wrong neighborhood. The more confident you are the less vulnerable you will be to any predators.

[Kate Simmons]

You got that right Sherlyn. My purpose for going out is not to attract attention but to have fun. Even so, I try to look my best. Sometimes you can't help being on the "receiving end" though, especially if you look halfway decent. Hmm--can't say I've never been oogled but it's a weird feeling sometimes, especially when I'm the one who knows I'm really a 60 year old bald headed guy.:heehee:

[Angela Burke]

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
I'm quoting the great American president Franklin D. Roosvelt as many of you will obviously know, but he didn't walk about the streets in Scotland wearing a skirt and high heels! I don't go out dressed very often and on the occasions I do usually to family and friends I am always incredibly uncomfortable even on the short journey from car to house. That's why I freely admit to being jealous of some of the girls here who don't bat an eye,
(eyelash, false?) at going out dressed. I wish I had the guts to join them but the thought of being abused by some idiot fills me with horror almost as much as the thought of me fighting in the street with some idiot wearing a dress (me that is, not my imaginary idiot).

[Rachaelb64]

'Just be' is good advice, but those first few steps outside in a skirt are the hardest miles you walk in your live :2c: :happy:

[Miss Petra]

That would make a cool T shirt.

But since I have only been out twice im "just kinda be"

But im getting there.

HUgz,

Petra

[Wendy me]

very true comfy and relaxed in who you are as well as what you are wearing .... i sure drabs feel like something do we ever think of that ??? no .... and when your out dressed or in drabs watch people they stare at people .....dosen't mean your read i just means they are stareing at people..... unless you give them some thing to stare at then they are stareing at you........

[Paulette]

The more you relax and enjoy the better you look.

[Sherlyn]

Great replys :) ...after reading thru this another thought ..I often read threads that say .."I know I passed" ..I always wonder hmmmmm ...most times I often think unless your in the middle of a large group hug ...most will go unoticed unless we are outrageously dressed..so how do you know ???

[cindybarnes]

So very true Sherlyn !
I have a ways to go myself but it gets a little easier each time I get out. " Just be " might be our new motto,, thanks ;)

[charlie]

people may look and stare at you...something I learned a long time ago ......
reading thread after thread about the sounds of heels on pavement ..the wind up your skirt etc etc ..that perhaps some of us that have/had problems going out in public..its only because your so absorbed in the way your clothing affects you.. that you carry yourself in a manner that draws YOU YOURSELF.. attention to YOU ...therefore you dont act very natural ...just try not being so absorbed with what your wearing ..and just do what you went out to do ...works for me ..dont be thinking OMG OMG Im wearing a skirt and heels and Im outside ..so what ..if thats who you are... its no big deal..just be :D
Sherlyn, that may be true for you because you look quite passable outside. Now when I go out I'm still looking like a 50 year old guy in a dress. I do get looks, wispers and grunts. I may walk naturally, but people still see what they see.

[Sharon]

...therefore you dont act very natural ...just try not being so absorbed with what your wearing ..and just do what you went out to do ...works for me ..dont be thinking OMG OMG Im wearing a skirt and heels and Im outside ..so what ..if thats who you are... its no big deal..just be :D

Yes, ma'am! It works me me also, Sherlyn. :happy:


Great replys :) ...after reading thru this another thought ..I often read threads that say .."I know I passed" ..I always wonder hmmmmm ...most times I often think unless your in the middle of a large group hug ...most will go unoticed unless we are outrageously dressed..so how do you know ???

We don't know, but it doesn't really matter anyway. The thing is, once I stopped worrying about whether I pass or not, I stopped noticing people who may be scrutinizing me or giving me a second look. It has done wonders for me.

Ahh, so beautiful, yet so wise. :happy:

[docrobbysherry]

Sherlyn, that may be true for you because you look quite passable outside. Now when I go out I'm still looking like a 50 year old guy in a dress. I do get looks, wispers and grunts. I may walk naturally, but people still see what they see.

That, plus my mustache and beard r a pretty good give away!
RS


myspace.com/robertsherry

[MJ]

]But OMIGOD, do I fear, fear!
RS[/QUOTE]

have no FEAR just do it



Great replys :) ...after reading thru this another thought ..I often read threads that say .."I know I passed" ..I always wonder hmmmmm ...most times I often think unless your in the middle of a large group hug ...most will go unoticed unless we are outrageously dressed..so how do you know ???

you know as sharon said :-

I stopped noticing people who may be scrutinizing me or giving me a second look. It has done wonders for me....
yes me too... sher your so right

[Jenna1561]

Sher is totally correct. Dress nicely, enjoy yourself in your mirror at home, and when you step outside the door, forget about what you are wearing and "just be" - the more we dress and venture outside, the more customary it becomes and the less we think about our appearance. Unless of course it's a dress-up event - then simply enjoy yourself, enjoy the feel of the clothing, and enjoy the compliments you receive.

As for passing, that thought always crosses my mind, who knows and who doesn't? Is the person I'm speaking with playing a game with me and in actuality knows what/who I am? Or do they genuinely perceive me as a woman? Drives me batty, just thinking of it.

Jenna