a few questions

[dholleyjr]

hello all. i'm doing some research into straight male crossdressing for a creative nonfiction paper that i'm writing. it's something that i find very interesting but don't know a whole lot about (other than my own fascination with eyeliner and sarongs). i am pretty close friends with a few tv's and tg's but no straight crossdressers. i've looked this site over and read some really informative posts, but would love to have an open dialogue with actual individuals. i don't mind sharing my email address if you are interested in chatting about this, but i'm not going to post it at this time.

i look forward to learning more about this community, and myself, through this experience.

peace.

[KarenMichelleLuv]

Well welcome to the Forum D Holly. I think this might be the right place to get your questions answered. The ladies here are very friendly.

[Cynthia_0101]

I would be willing to answer some questions

[Kris]

I would also suspect, from your hint, that your interest is more personal than scholastic. You may have other questions along that line as well.

Minerva


I was thinking the same thing.. kinda odd that no questions were asked, or if this research was to be published, and what class it is for... then to add that "he" (and I say that lightly) likes eyeliner and sarongs. I believe you've been BUSTED!!

Good observation Minerva!

Kris

[Holly]

I would urge caution in engaging into a personal dialolg with the original poster until such time as s/he give a better idea af what the paper being written is for and perhaps they take the first step and share a bit about themself. Their profile is curiously void any information.

[dholleyjr]

Thanks for reminding me that communication is a two-way channel. I'll get a profile up in a little while. For now, a little about me:

My name is Doug. I'm a 26 year-old writer and college student. My wife and I live in a small town in South Carolina, but I attend classes in Georgia. I work with kids in an educational facility and am studying to teach English on a high school or college level. I am writing this paper for a college class in creative nonfiction. The assignment is "Explain a Concept" and we've all been encouraged to find topics that are interesting to us, but that our classmates might not know much.

Gender identity is a subject that I find quite interesting on a socio/anthropological level. On a personal level, I enjoy the occasional turn in women's clothing and make-up. I do a lot of theatre work and am currently in a production of "The Rocky Horror Show." I have a few transexual friends, male and female, but have not met any straight men who are open about crossdressing. So, I was hoping that by joining this message board, I might be able to make some connections with people who could provide personal insight into the lifestyle.

My questions are really general at this point, but mostly come back to this one: What kind of "community" exists for a straight male crossdresser? How/where does he fit in?

I hope that alleviates some of the tension, and I apologize for my vagueness. Maybe we can make a fresh start from here.

-Doug

[Holly]

Thank-you. Just a suggestion... take some time and read the threads. I would suggest you mostly concentrate in the male-to-female section, based on your stated goal. If you find a concept that you would like to know more about, use the forum search function for additional resources. And of course, asking specific questions for clarification should yield you sufficient data to complete your assignment. I think you will be surprised to learn the diversity contained within this community. Best wishes.

[Paula Wilder]

I can't answer any questions 'cause if you knew, then I'd have to kill ya. :devil: Just kidding, ask away and you will find we're full of reasons for why we do what we do, but there are some common "threads", if you'll pardon that pun. :heehee: I agree you can research in some of the older threads, but if you're looking to tell a few specific stories or give examples, it's best to get the OK from that/those people, probably via email or PM. Good luck and do the "write" thing...

Editorially yours,

Paula

[docrobbysherry]

I am a straight CD. However, I may not be in the demographic u r "researching". Because I am single, and completely in the closet. I pretty much dress to the teeth to please myself. Not to pass. Altho, I'm pretty proud of my pics, see below. How do I know I'm straight? An excellent question. U could start a new thread with that one. My ENTIRE CD social life consists of this, and another CD site. I think u can ask almost any question and get some very honest and explicit answers here. Good luck with your "thesis".
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Oddlee]

I would be hapoy to respond to specific questions posted on this forum, as I'm sure many others would. Once you get your ten posts, I will also respond to personal messages...

Lee

[Sheri 4242]

If I may interject, Holly is absolutely right to warn caution be used. This may be a very legitimate inquiry, but we've all run into trolls and others who are less than genuine. To get the answers being sought, trust has to be established and that usually befalls the neophyte! Once one is actively participating in various threads, the cautionary warnings begin to fall away!

[Joann0830]

Please read the book first because if you ask individuals questions you get individual answers. Read the posts here first and the older posts so that you can build a foundation for understanding, why we are here and how long we have been doing this. You are quite lucky as you are on this site which is made up of Many, Many years of experience of all of the individuals on this website and it shows pain, suffering, understanding and Joy in what we Really are all about. I once had a student who said to me that he was working on his Masters Degree and I said Theory is wonderful thing but you have to know how to apply it.
You will have plenty of theory, again if you read as much as you can about us, then apply this to the understanding of who we really are. :straightface:Joann


I again bow to Minerva Morgan and also to Sheri as I do agree with their posts

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with what others have said and it's best to establish yourself in an interactive way. Why not participate in some threads and get your feet wet? Actually this is how we really get to know one another on the Forum and our intentions are really borne out by this. It takes time and a certain sense of propriety to get to know the folks and establish trust and free flowing information. In other words, we prove who we are by what we say and how we participate.

To be quite honest, many feel uneasy being the subject of a study and do not like something that is very close to them to be exposed and possibly ridiculed. They do welcome friends, however, and folks who are really trying to understand and that makes all the difference.

Welcome to the Forum and enjoy your stay.:happy:

[Phoebe Reece]

Doug,
Just a week ago I (along with a couple of other CD's) made a presentation to a couple of sociology classes at Georgia State University on the very subject you are enquiring about. Once you can send and receive PM's, contact me and I'll try to help you out.

[Sinthia]

With your wife's help, you might try a little crossdressing so you will have personal experiences in the act. I am not implying that you should become a crossdresser, but how can you do a story on driving a car if you have never been behind the wheel? Familiarizing yourself with the subject of a story is always best.

[Veronica 1]

With your wife's help, you might try a little crossdressing so you will have personal experiences in the act. I am not implying that you should become a crossdresser, but how can you do a story on driving a car if you have never been behind the wheel? Familiarizing yourself with the subject of a story is always best.


I agree, and as tomorrow is halloween you have the perfect chance to dress up and go out as a woman. Shave your legs, put on some panties, pantyhose, bra, a nice dress and a cheap wig. Get your wife to do your makeup and you will be ready to go out and enjoy yourself. While everything is acceptable on this day, it should still give you an insight into the aspects of crossdressing.

[tvbeckytv]

With your wife's help, you might try a little crossdressing so you will have personal experiences in the act. I am not implying that you should become a crossdresser, but how can you do a story on driving a car if you have never been behind the wheel? Familiarizing yourself with the subject of a story is always best.


sorry but i cant see how a non crossdresser can get any feeling for being a crossdresser just by wearing a dress. Kinda like trying to see what it be like to be an alcoholic by having a drink.

[MJ]

sorry but i cant see how a non cross dresser can get any feeling for being a cross dresser just by wearing a dress. Kinda like trying to see what it be like to be an alcoholic by having a drink.

Then i guess our friend will have to start dressing regularly as to understand us better ... i wonder if the wife will be OK with that

[charlie-50]

hello all. i'm doing some research into straight male crossdressing for a creative nonfiction paper that i'm writing. it's something that i find very interesting but don't know a whole lot about (other than my own fascination with eyeliner and sarongs). i am pretty close friends with a few tv's and tg's but no straight crossdressers. i've looked this site over and read some really informative posts, but would love to have an open dialogue with actual individuals. i don't mind sharing my email address if you are interested in chatting about this, but i'm not going to post it at this time.

i look forward to learning more about this community, and myself, through this experience.

peace.

HI ! dholleyjr... shure ask away you might get some suprising answers....charlie...:hugs:

[Billijo49504]

Hi, Other than those that said to PM them, You might post your questions to the open forum. Then all of us can throw in our :2c:. If it make any difference, I'm as straight as a string. I carry a pistol in my purse, for gays and creeps. I try to leave everyone allone and hope they leave me alone. Since my cancer surgery, my breasts have started to grow. So now I'm a 40c. My wife is very supportive, but I try to be a private person, like most of us. And I cross dress most of the time...BJ

[dholleyjr]

thanks for the overwhelming responses. i've been out of town for a few days and have just now gotten back to my computer. as a result, i haven't been able to look over the older threads and might not be able to until later this week.

the trust issue i can understand. i'm sure you've had plenty of jerks come by just to mess with you. i hope that i can alleviate some of the wariness as we continue this dialogue.

as far as the suggestion to crossdress, i appreciate the advice. i didn't wear a dress, but i did wear fishnets on halloween as part of my costume, if that counts.

the paper is coming along slowly. it is due next tuesday, so i have one more week to work on it. i think that i've narrowed down my topic, though, to two choices and will be posting new topics for these two questions:

what are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook?

or

what frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.?

once i've made ten posts, i will go back and send some pm's to those of you who have been so kind as to offer your personal insight.

i know that there are answers to these questions if i read through all the old threads, but, frankly, i don't have time to read everything here. i work and go to school full-time, and have two more papers due between now and next tuesday. you don't have to respond with some long essay...just a sentence or two will do if you don't have time for me.

thanks again.

[MJ]

thanks for the overwhelming responses. i've been out of town for a few days and have just now gotten back to my computer. as a result, i haven't been able to look over the older threads and might not be able to until later this week.

the trust issue i can understand. i'm sure you've had plenty of jerks come by just to mess with you. i hope that i can alleviate some of the wariness as we continue this dialogue.

as far as the suggestion to crossdress, i appreciate the advice. i didn't wear a dress, but i did wear fishnets on halloween as part of my costume, if that counts.

the paper is coming along slowly. it is due next tuesday, so i have one more week to work on it. i think that i've narrowed down my topic, though, to two choices and will be posting new topics for these two questions:

what are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook?

or


what frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.?
once i've made ten posts, i will go back and send some pm's to those of you who have been so kind as to offer your personal insight.

i know that there are answers to these questions if i read through all the old threads, but, frankly, i don't have time to read everything here. i work and go to school full-time, and have two more papers due between now and next tuesday. you don't have to respond with some long essay...just a sentence or two will do if you don't have time for me.

thanks again.

jerry springer does a lot for our cause .. and again there is silence of the lambs the freaky tranny :eek:
work people either get it or they don't .and the gossip and washroom issues after all he maybe living full time as a woman but he still can't use the womans washrooms until he has the surgery .
finding accepting churches is still hard but when i found my place of worship the total acceptance was just amazing too bad the rest of the world is not as accepting

education , understanding , acceptance is the key but how .. thats the problem

when you get to 10 posts pm ,me for more info

[docrobbysherry]

thanks for the overwhelming responses. i've been
as far as the suggestion to crossdress, i appreciate the advice. i didn't wear a dress, but i did wear fishnets on halloween as part of my costume, if that
what are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook?thanks again.

First off, I dress only, and I dress in complete secret. I have no desire to live as a woman, or go out dressed. For me, it's all about looking as female as possible, and try whatever, to succeed with the vision I want to see. If u check out my pics, u'll see I work HARD creating young looking, attractive women. Here r some appearance problems u might not be aware of:

1. There r some male parts that u might not think of, that r difficult to hide. My upper arms r the worst problem, another, are my love handles. Too much arm muscle, and fat located in the wrong place, to appear feminine.

2. Another one is a BIG problem, but not for me, because I am very fair complected, and wear my special faces. Body and facial hair. VERY unfeminine and hard to hide, unless it's removed. Still, it can leave a 5:00 shadow.

3. Breast sizes. Just like real women, we r never satisfied, and some CD's have real breasts. We have to find the rite size for our frames, weights, heights, and outfit we r wearing that day. The answer for me, is to try on my outfits with a variety of sizes. I'm continually surprised to find out how bad, or good, a certain size breast will look in a certain outfit.

Anyway, there r just a couple u might be interested in, or not. There r a million little details that go into CDing. Everyone has their own in common, and unique problems.
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Kate Simmons]

It depends on the person really. I don't have problems, only challenges that keep things interesting. As far as proper sizes, you adapt and where there is a will there is a way. I have my own look(s), so really don't care what anyone else thinks. Their problem not mine. As far as feeling feminine, I don't have a clue really but I am happy to be able to express myself and my feelings.

Honestly, the only real way is to walk the walk, look the look and talk the talk. I can explain my feelings until I'm blue in the face but to really know it has to be personally experienced. It's the only real way to find out how it feels and everything that goes along with it.:happy:

[Karren H]

Well speaking for myself as a straight crossdressers.... if there is a community... I haven't seen it and really crossdressing is a personal thing for me.... and I really don't need or require the involvement of a community or any support structure so to speak... and yeah there are personal friendships with people with simular likes and dislikes but nothing globally.... but then again that's just me....

Karren

[Jazzmine]

what are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook?
or
what frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.?

Annoying problems
- finding a shoe shop that deals in larger size shoes in styles I like!
- when you are new to CD you need to discover everything for yourself if you don't have access to sites like CD.com. That can get expensive if you buy from mail order and things don't fit or match.
- society does not accept you as a CD full stop. That's like, a BIG ANNOYANCE. To be a CD you need to be brave (ballsy) and find your own expression. The whole thing is very personal - you are doing it to satisfy yourself so I don't expect any hand-outs from anyone. But we all dislike society's judgemental approach to anything TG - we have legitimate lives to lead and want to get on with it. It's frustrating to think that our CD is treated different from another's interest in say, taxidermy ( sorry, those people do need help - try model trains).

Good luck with your thesis!
Jazzmine