Team Player

[CaptLex]

We had a cocktail party tonight at work to welcome new associates. I forgot it was tonight and didn't dress for it, but that didn't stop me from indulging in some tropical rum punch, of course. ;) While I was mingling, one of the attorneys in another department (I've worked with him before) asked me, "So, how does it feel to play for our team?" :raisedeyebrow: I told him it feels great, and I would have done it a lot sooner if I could have, and then we chatted a bit about the advantages of being male. :cool: Eventually I excused myself to go get another drink and he said, "That's one of the perks of being a team player". :heehee:

All joking aside, it feels good to be acknowledged and accepted, doesn't it? :happy:

[Adam]

yes it does and its nice when people see you for who you are and not get hang ups about stuff he sounds like a top bloke to me :D

[bi_weird]

:-) Dude that's excellent! That's great that your coworker is cool enough to talk to you about it like that.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Nice! I felt the same way tonight when my guyfriends were totally ok with me using the guys restroom at the same time. Glad that you could find someone who understands you and seems relatively happy to have you on his team, so to speak. :happy:

[Tristan]

That's totally awesome, Lex. I know when I was on vacation it felt great to be a part of the guys' team.

[Nicki B]

I hope this isn't seen as going off topic?

It can be a very lonely place, a lot of the time, being a guy - the 'competition' is usually so overt? But when they do do 'teams', there's nothing else like it? :) It usually comes with some pretty insulting banter though, which outsiders don't always get.. :whistling:

Whereas the female 'tribe' is usually much more inclusive and overtly supportive? And I for one know how it feels to be made welcome into that, and it's hugely affirming, in, I imagine, exactly the same way?

It shows they see you as you want to be seen? :)

[SirTrey]

Dude....All I can say to that is it's SO great and I am SO happy for you...There is really not a lot that is better than being accepted and being seen for who you really ARE....You've worked long and hard to play on the boys team....You DESERVE the acknowledgement! :) **Trey**

[CaptLex]

I hope this isn't seen as going off topic?

It can be a very lonely place, a lot of the time, being a guy - the 'competition' is usually so overt? But when they do do 'teams', there's nothing else like it? :) It usually comes with some pretty insulting banter though, which outsiders don't always get.. :whistling:

Whereas the female 'tribe' is usually much more inclusive and overtly supportive? And I for one know how it feels to be made welcome into that, and it's hugely affirming, in, I imagine, exactly the same way?

It shows they see you as you want to be seen? :)
It's not off-topic at all, Nicki. But I will say that I never felt like a team player when I played with the girls - they excluded me 'cause I wouldn't play by their rules. I do have female friends, however, but these are women that don't fit any stereotypes, so I guess we just see each other as people.

Having met you, I would say any team would be happy and lucky to have you. :happy:

[Nicki B]

Thank you, kind sir... :koc:

[ZenFrost]

It does feel good, on the few occasions it happens. Many guys don't accept me as one of them because I'm "not man enough" or whatever. Try as I might, they just can't change the way they see me. I never got accepted as one of the girls when I was a kid either, so by now I'm just used to being alone.

[CaptLex]

Many guys don't accept me as one of them because I'm "not man enough" or whatever. Try as I might, they just can't change the way they see me.
Well, they're just idiots - and they're missing out on knowing a cool guy. :hugs: I got some of that too when I first came out - guys telling me "real guys don't do that" kind of thing. I'd tell them, "I am a real guy - just not your kind of guy." Some of them get that, and some don't. C'est la vie, mon ami. Just last week I wore a bright fuschia shirt (the kind of thing that would have brought on a "you're not dressing like a real guy" comment in the past), and nobody said a word besides, "nice shirt, Lex". Haha . . . sometimes you can teach old dogs new tricks. ;)


I never got accepted as one of the girls when I was a kid either, so by now I'm just used to being alone.
But you're not alone, hon . . . you've got us. :itsok:

[Kris]

Whereas the female 'tribe' is usually much more inclusive and overtly supportive? And I for one know how it feels to be made welcome into that, and it's hugely affirming, in, I imagine, exactly the same way?


Oh my I totally disagree. I think that "real people" are inclusive and supportive of each other but there is a whole other species of woman out there that is snobby, unkind, judgmental, and above all grumpy. They play dirty and have cat fights beyond comparison. If you don't do it their way, then you are labeled as weird and ostracized. It can be as simple as wearing the wrong sandals with an outfit.

I think that women who are accepting of the Trans community as a whole, are real people who are inclusive and supportive of everyone.

:hugs: Kris

[Nicki B]

Oh my I totally disagree. I think that "real people" are inclusive and supportive of each other but there is a whole other species of woman out there that is snobby, unkind, judgmental, and above all grumpy. They play dirty and have cat fights beyond comparison. If you don't do it their way, then you are labeled as weird and ostracized. It can be as simple as wearing the wrong sandals with an outfit.

I think that women who are accepting of the Trans community as a whole, are real people who are inclusive and supportive of everyone.

:hugs: Kris

Oookay.... I thought perhaps I shouldn't answer this on the thread, 'cos it's rather going away from the theme of the Boys Forum, but Kris has specifically asked me to re-post this here? :hmmm:


I think I know what you mean.. There is a reason for the term 'bitch'? :winking:

Though I do think, sometimes, we make too much of the differences, we are all people, with people's faults... Prejudice is not linked to being male or female, just human? :rolleyes:

But, as an 'incomer', I think, on average, women do tend more to stick together and to instinctively look for help from each other, against the common enemy - men.. :eek:

That's not to say women aren't intensely competitive, too - but normally it's not nearly so overt as when men do it?

Sitting astride the fence as I do, I often count myself very lucky to have a view from both sides? :)

[ZenFrost]

it's true women are loving and supportive... on the surface

they compete behind the curtains, where the competition is all about being friends in the open and talking behind people's backs about how they "really" feel
it's quite ugly, cruel and unkind
it's just as possible to feel extremely lonely surrounded by a group of "loving and supportive" people when all that love and support is just a fake front
I'd rather be alone... because then I'm NOT lonely

it's noticeable in groups how guys all boast and ego-boost each other "no I'm better, no I'm better"

but women all bring each other down... "oh I'm not as good at that as you, no I'm not as good, you're great, no no, I'm not very good at it"

the guy's team makes more sense to me... there's no reason to pretend when you and someone else don't like each other... you can get it out in the open, instead of bottling up all sorts of mean, hard feelings and trying to suppress and hide that to be "friends"

of course that ^ is all IN GENERAL because I like what Kris said... that it's "real" people that are genuinely inclusive and supporting of each other
and of course not everyone plays by these team rules but finds their own way along

I have to agree with you on this, from my experience as living as a woman for many years, I have met very, very few women who are not like that. Nice to your face but gossiping behind your back. That's why all those magazines and TV shows are geared towards women, most (but not all) just love getting dirt on someone else's business.