Cade's Journey through space and time...

[caderemington]

As most of you know, I've taken a few weeks to deal with issues. And I've really missed it here. So, this is going to be a long post but I think its only fair that everyone knows what's going on.
After Mandy and I broke up, I started cutting again and once I started, I couldn't stop. It ended up that if I didn't do something, I would end up killing myself. So I decided to check myself into a Mental Health Institution about 2 1/2 hours away, just so it would be GLBT friendly. I got down there, with RJ, Missy (who I've been staying with) and Missy's daughter Adriana, who is absolutely adorable, she's 18 months old. Once I got there, I chickened out, and took off, causing RJ and Missy to freak out because they really didn't want to have to admit that they lost me. So, I waited for them to find me, and it turned out that I wouldn't have to go if I signed a contract, stating that I wouldn't drink alcohol, do any illegal drugs, that I would take my medication, and see a therapist. I signed it, and then I went back to school that coming week. RJ and I had decided to take a break and see where I was in a few weeks.
Well, I got back to school and then on Wednesday the 17, dropped out of school. I moved all of my stuff out and had it in my car. I didn't really have a plan as to what I was going to do, just go visit friends for a few days or something, and then go back to school in January. I stayed at Erik and Missy's that night, worked the following morning, then I took off and showed up at RJ's door. We spent the weekend together, then Sunday I took off again, and, without notice, I went to my aunt's house. I came out to her as trans, and she was completely cool with it and said I could stay there as long as I needed. That Tuesday, I went to the nearest GLBT center, and I met some really cool people. One of which dated one of my gay friends at college. Tuesday night I stayed at my other aunt's house, and I came out to her as trans, and she was fine with it also.
Last Wednesday, I made it back to the area around my college and since then, I've been staying with Erik and Missy, and probably will be here until January. On Friday, I started working at Domino's again, and yesterday I shaved my head. So, I may or may not be going back to school in January. At the moment, I'm contemplating going to New York City. I dunno. So, this is my version of whats been going on the last few weeks. RJ, did I miss anything???

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Nope... think ya got it all covered!

Well, 'cept for the part where I :kickbutt: you for even considering not going back in January! :om:

[Emily Ann Brown]

Okay.......so basically you had a typical boring day every day for the last couple of weeks??? GIGGLE GIGGLE !

And did Gutherie videotape the butt kicking????


Emily Ann

[Kris]

As most of you know, I've taken a few weeks to deal with issues. And I've really missed it here. So, this is going to be a long post but I think its only fair that everyone knows what's going on.
After Mandy and I broke up, I started cutting again and once I started, I couldn't stop. It ended up that if I didn't do something, I would end up killing myself. So I decided to check myself into a Mental Health Institution about 2 1/2 hours away, just so it would be GLBT friendly. I got down there, with RJ, Missy (who I've been staying with) and Missy's daughter Adriana, who is absolutely adorable, she's 18 months old. Once I got there, I chickened out, and took off, causing RJ and Missy to freak out because they really didn't want to have to admit that they lost me. So, I waited for them to find me, and it turned out that I wouldn't have to go if I signed a contract, stating that I wouldn't drink alcohol, do any illegal drugs, that I would take my medication, and see a therapist. I signed it, and then I went back to school that coming week. RJ and I had decided to take a break and see where I was in a few weeks.
Well, I got back to school and then on Wednesday the 17, dropped out of school. I moved all of my stuff out and had it in my car. I didn't really have a plan as to what I was going to do, just go visit friends for a few days or something, and then go back to school in January. I stayed at Erik and Missy's that night, worked the following morning, then I took off and showed up at RJ's door. We spent the weekend together, then Sunday I took off again, and, without notice, I went to my aunt's house. I came out to her as trans, and she was completely cool with it and said I could stay there as long as I needed. That Tuesday, I went to the nearest GLBT center, and I met some really cool people. One of which dated one of my gay friends at college. Tuesday night I stayed at my other aunt's house, and I came out to her as trans, and she was fine with it also.
Last Wednesday, I made it back to the area around my college and since then, I've been staying with Erik and Missy, and probably will be here until January. On Friday, I started working at Domino's again, and yesterday I shaved my head. So, I may or may not be going back to school in January. At the moment, I'm contemplating going to New York City. I dunno. So, this is my version of whats been going on the last few weeks. RJ, did I miss anything???

Gosh all that moving around made me dizzy and lost me a few times! I can't imagine how chaotic it must feel for you.

So did you get a handle on your cutting? I just have to say that I hope you are safe when you do it and know, please tell yourself how special you are and don't deserve that. Try pretending that you are your own best friend and talk to yourself like that... sometimes it helps.

So you are stable in one spot, came out to two people and both were cool..... (YIPEEEE for that) Started a job at Dominos and are thinking about NYC instead of school?? Can you say why you dropped out? I surely hope like heck that you go back..... it is so much easier now than if you are my age.

I wish you luck sunshine....

:hugs: Kris

[Anthony Jake]

So, I may or may not be going back to school in January. At the moment, I'm contemplating going to New York City. I dunno.


Well, two things really.. could you not transfer your schooling to NYC? Its always a good idea to get an education behind you, im regretting messing mine up as much as i did.. whether or not you feel that way now..in a few years time you will.. you'll wish that you had taken you're chances while you had.
New York is a very cool place, at least i found that in the 18 months that i lived there.. but its true to its name and dreams can be made or broken there. If you go to NYC you're gonna have to make a whole new life for yourself and be prepared to handle many ups and downs, as it wont all be as peachy as you'd like to think. I do know that they have a youth shelter on 42nd street as i one of my friends (Lex, this is the david i was telling you about and how he came to be in NYC from illinois - ill fill you in later:happy:) The shelter houses young people who have no where to go and offers them an address until they can find a job and an apartment for themselves, but i dont know if you would really want to go down that road.. it would be better to be prepared and save for your own place first.. but if you really want to get away that would be my suggestion..
Thirdly.. running away from whatever haunts you generally isnt going to solve anything in the long run.. sometimes it is better to fight from the beginning so as to save the long haul. :2c:

[ZenFrost]

:hugs: Cade, you still sound somewhat lost to me, and I can only hope that you'll get things figured out. You know we're here to support you when you need us.

[SirTrey]

Hey Cade...Good to see you back, man...Sorry to hear things have been so chaotic....But Zen is right, you have friends here....Lean on us, that's what friends are for...**Trey**

[John]

sounds like quite a time; glad you're on the up and back with us.

I'll say this about droping out/ext. I droped out of uni a couple of months ago, and it was probably the best thing I could have done. With so much stuff going on it might be helpfull to 'take a year out off life' (as I say) to get things sorted, and then go back to shcool later. Just somthing to think about.

Ok, I'm going to go hide from RJ now... :hiding:

[lizbendalin]

I thought I should give a quick update on Cade, I also go by Erik. Cade has been living with us for a few weeks (Erik and Missy in Cade's post). Yesterday morning (nov. 1) I came downstairs to find Cade passed out on our couch, he had made a terrible decision and tried to end it all by overdosing on his meds. Thankfully, he didn't take anywhere near enough to cause any real damage.

We spent most of yesterday making the necessary arrangements to get Cade the professional help he needs at the moment. He is currently in a facility to help him get a handle on the craziness that has been going on in his life recently. We are not sure how long he will be there. The facility is doing it's best to refer to Cade as him, and to use his chosen name - so that's a good thing.

Keep Cade in your thoughts and prayers, he feels alone right now. He won't have access to a computer for a while.

Liz

[Cai]

He's lucky to have such good friends.

[Kieron Andrew]

I thought I should give a quick update on Cade, I also go by Erik. Cade has been living with us for a few weeks (Erik and Missy in Cade's post). Yesterday morning (nov. 1) I came downstairs to find Cade passed out on our couch, he had made a terrible decision and tried to end it all by overdosing on his meds. Thankfully, he didn't take anywhere near enough to cause any real damage.

We spent most of yesterday making the necessary arrangements to get Cade the professional help he needs at the moment. He is currently in a facility to help him get a handle on the craziness that has been going on in his life recently. We are not sure how long he will be there. The facility is doing it's best to refer to Cade as him, and to use his chosen name - so that's a good thing.

Keep Cade in your thoughts and prayers, he feels alone right now. He won't have access to a computer for a while.

Liz

wow!! Liz thanks so much for letting us know what has happened, please let Cade know we all hold him in our thoughts........

Please also keep us updated

[bi_weird]

O.O
Thanks for the update Liz. Please pass on to Cade, if you get a chance, that we're all here for him and we hope he gets better soon. I'll be thinking happy thoughts for him.

[SirTrey]

Oh, My...I'm so sorry to hear that....Please give Cade our love....and tell him we are all thinking of him and that we CARE so much! Thanks for that....**Trey**

[CaptLex]

Aww, Cade . . . :hugs: :sad:

Thanks for the update, Liz. Please give him our love.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

:sad: I actually had heard this yesterday, but I wasn't sure if it was my place to make a public announcement. Thanks for letting everyone know, Liz, and if you guys want to call me and keep me updated on what's been happening that'd be great. :hugs: to Cade and you guys.

[ZenFrost]

Please let Cade know we're all thinking of him and wishing him the best.

[Tristan]

I'll keep Cade and you all in my prayers and thoughts.

[DanielMacBride]

Oh, My...I'm so sorry to hear that....Please give Cade our love....and tell him we are all thinking of him and that we CARE so much! Thanks for that....**Trey**

I second this....please do let Cade know that all his brothers here are keeping him in our thoughts...

Daniel

[Tamara Croft]

I've just read the update, thank you for posting that Liz. Please send lots of :hugs: to Cade from me, I'm so sorry he's going through this :hugs:

[caderemington]

I'm back!... again. So, I'm a dumbshit and the hospital completely sucked. Even after I was able to actually know what was going on, because the first day I could barely walk, let alone remember anything. Sorry guys, I just don't know what's going on anymore. :(

[ZenFrost]

:hugs: You'll find your way, I know you will. :hugs:

[Cai]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm glad you're okay (the physical stuff, anyway).

[CaptLex]

Welcome back, Cade. I have two things for you . . . first :slap: and then :hugs: . . . oh and definitely one of these :drink:. Glad you're getting better. Take care of you, hun. :bighug:

[bi_weird]

*hug**hug**hug* glad you're back, Cade. Have a brownie, or a whole pan. And a teddy bear, have that too. Hope you start figuring things out soon. I'm thinking happy thoughts your way.

[Tristan]

:hugs: Welcome back, Cade.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Cade, tomorrow when it's earlier and I'm not running out the door, I'm going to call you because I think we should talk. (That sounds really scary, but it isn't really supposed to be. :happy:) In the mean time :hugs::hugs::hugs: and I'll give you a call tomorrow. Glad to hear you're feeling better.

[John]

*hugs and happy thoughts*

[Nicki B]

I'm still holding my breath..

Cade, a lot of people have shown they care about you. Do your dam*dest not to let them down, okay? :)

:hugs:

[caderemington]

So, I wanted to say thanks to everybody who has been thinking about me, wishing me well, holding me in their prayers, whatever. I was going to have RJ write about this, but I managed to get some internet time, so I'm using it. After I got out of the hospital, I was mainly ok. I got my full time job, so now I have two jobs, Erik and Missy were helping me stay on track with my medications and everything, and it was going good. And then I f*cked it up... again. Long story short it involved crazy person, drugs, guns, sex, and cops, and I ended up not being able to stay here. So now I'm staying at a women's shelter. *groans*, but for the most part, I'm safe there. I can only stay there for 19 more days now, and then I have to get out, and find somewhere else in the area for little or no money until I get my first good paycheck. So, I now know what I will be thankful for this Thanksgiving. A warm meal, a warm place to stay, and somewhere to bathe. Life is rough, but I have finally gotten it into my head that it is worth living, and that I want to make something out of myself. Until I have somewhere to stay where I get internet, I won't be on very much, I will check in from time to time to let everyone know how I'm doing, or RJ will let you know. But I will be thinking of you all, and hoping for the best for all of you. Thank you everyone.

[Anthony Jake]

hey.. i sent you a PM.. don't really like to write on here.. :D all the best. :hugs:

[bi_weird]

*hugs* Glad to hear you're feeling better, even if you're not sure about where you'll end up for a while. Hope things get better for you.

[ZenFrost]

:hugs: I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that everything turns out for the best.

[SirTrey]

Hey Cade.....I'm so sorry to hear that you are having so many problems....I wish you the best and am sending you good thoughts and wishes....and a hug....