Two Specific Questions

[dholleyjr]

Greetings All-

Please read my thread, "a few questions," for background info.

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.

or

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.

[Nicki B]

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine.

Being the wrong size and shape - women are supposed to be petite, aren't they? :wall:

That covers everything from shoes upwards - and means a whole lot of work to change one's shape (padding, corsets, etc) and one's brain to find role models who are a decent size...

[Steveo]

there is a problem with shoes, most womens shoe size (uk) does'nt go much past an 8, most men are 9 or above, skirts are relatively easy just which lenkth you prefer, but some skirts and dresses seem only to come in shorter lenkths (i tend towords the longer lenkths to hide my legs you know)

[Dita_B]

Ha! I am glad you asked!

My most annoying problem is that my face looks too masculine. You know all those things you can't hide with makeup, like a prominent nose, a masculine jaw line, the brow line etc... From the front my face looks pretty passable but from the side is another question. I can buy all the clothing and assessories a woman can buy, but I have not been able to buy a female face yet. (Unless I would go for face restructural surgery, but that is stretching it a little)...

And my biggest frustration with society? The stereotyping that is connected to the "macho" male image. Why has society such a problem with a feminine type of male? Why does my wife has such a huge emotional problem with my cross dressing? It is all connected to the "image" that comes with being male.

While it is acceptable for a woman to dress in whatever comes to her mind, as soon as you start going off the beaten path as a male, you draw (undesired) attention.

I think it is time for society to accept a third gender, the transgender, as a full blown and appreciated member of that society.

:love:Dita.

[joann07]

To me, it has to be shoes.
I wear a 9 1/2/ male and for female shoes I wear 11s. 10's will fit me, but they're pretty tight so I go with the larger.
If there was a 10 1/2 in women's size, that would fit me perfectly.

There are sexy dresses, tops, and skirts I would love to wear, and I know I can wear them, but I know I would look awkward so I dress in what I feel is appropriate.

Hugs!

[Marla S]

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.
Well, I think the biggest misconception by society as well as by CDs is that you have to look like a member of the opposite sex to express what you are. This All-or-nothing-mentality can lead to a lot of struggles. It's a two way thing though.

I think the society gets transexuality, though it's not very appreciated. Born in the wrong body is somewhat understandable.

A man just dressing in fem clothes or a woman dressing very masculine is usually considered homosexual (most are not), hence facing the same problems in this respect that homosexuals have to face.
For normal folks gay/lesbian is all they need to know ... no further thoughts required. BUT vast majority of CDs isn't homosexual.

That brings up the main point IMO: Confusion of sex and gender or sexuality and transness respectively.

Our society thinks in terms of sex, but an individual is by far more than its plumbing. Most don't get this.

The technical aspect was covered by Nicki B already. You see something nice and it just doesn't fit or they don't have it in your size ... frustrating. You don't have to be trans to know this feeling lol

[sami1952]

I have to agree with Dita B, to me it's the face,i have a lot of work to do on my face to make it look more fem.

[TxKimberly]

Greetings All-

Please read my thread, "a few questions," for background info.

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel


more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.

or

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.

"What are the most annoying problems" - hands down it is hiding the damn beard shadow

"What frustrations do you have with society's views" - That a crossdresser does not have the same morals, integrity, and decency that they have.

[MJ]

Greetings All-

Please read my thread, "a few questions," for background info.

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.


getting the right body shape being concave has it's problems i would prefer to be convex :heehee: we all can't be good looking :p

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.


i answered this in your other thread but i fell it's the lack of understating in the general public ...


"What are the most annoying problems" - hands down it is hiding the damn beard shadow

[QUOTE]"What frustrations do you have with society's views" - That a cross dresser does not have the same morals, integrity, and decency that they have.
Kimberly what have you been up too :dom:

[Leah B]

Yes! The beard shadow is the worst.

Because you want details, dholleyjr, you need an extremely close shave to have a shot at passing (because beard shadow is a dead-givaway), and even then, skin is translucent, so you can still see the beard. So some of us have to use heavy foundation or coverup (which isn't something you can cut corners on) to hide the rest. Even then, sometimes there's still a "blue tint" where the beard was, so some people use red blush or lipstick to counter it, which works. That last step's not really necessary if you pick the proper foundation (a rosier tone for the beard area, and a tone to match your face for everything else. This kind of color matching is not easy without experience, which I admittedly lack).

Even still, for some guys, the shadow is back by "5 o' clock" (proverbially) and the makeup would have to be washed off, the face reshaved, and the makeup reapplied. The really unfortunate among us (me), get awful hair bumps after a few days from any sort of close shave (not to mention clogged pores from the makeup if you don't bother to wash it off, and heavy foundation/coverup can take effort to wash off), and we'll have to wait a week or so before we can go out again, because shaving irritates hair bumps something fierce. Also, having hair bumps all over the beard area is another giveaway.

[Karren H]

I don't really have any annoying problems..... Nothing that keeps me from doing what I love to do... where I want to do it.... Well except not having enough time..... Work, Family, Home projects, Ice Hockey.... barely have enough time to sleep let alone dress up like a chick!! lol

K

[StayceeCD]

Broad shoulders! I'm not too tall.. 5'7, small feet, and with the right makeup I can make my face look fem enough but those damn shoulders and narrow hips!!

[lisa_e_love]

Being too tall. At five ten, I'm not a dead giveaway and I still pass for the most part, but being an exceptionally tall woman does increase the risk. I usually avoid heels when I go out so that I can kind of blend in. Now all I need to do is find a really tall GG to come out with me so that I look short by comparison.

[Sheri 4242]

Marla: Excellent post!!! In my opinion, you certainly set the record straight regarding what we face!!! Succinct, but very on topic!!!

[Deborah Jane]

My face is too masculine:( Everything else i can work on and look fairly good with, but my face..No!! If i could afford it i would have plastic surgery to soften my features. As for the views of society..I think Marla sums it up perfectly in her post!

[Michelia]

they are so

the beard.

And why are crosssdressers seen as freaks or otherwise less than human?

It seems drug addicts, alcoholics, gangsters, rednecks, and all kinds of parasites are accepted more, even though they all have issues crossdressers do not.

Michelia

[Nicki B]

Being too tall. At five ten..

Short a**e.. :winking:

Be proud of your height - men love it, women are jealous..:happy:


The beard shadow is the worst.

So many of us obsess about what we notice, but it often isn't noticeable to others (I'm NOT gonna mention passing again)?

I remember sitting in my car after a very long, hot day, window down, waiting to pick a girl up off a train in Central Manchester. I thought I looked a total wreck - I hadn't shaved for nearly eleven hours?

I had to stop in a no waiting zone to do this - and the number of times I was called a 'silly cow' by slowly passing taxi drivers made my day? :) People see what they expect to see...

[faltenrock]

face and hair

[Mary Jane]

My problems are having no butt/hips and my hands are too large.

[annekathleen]

It has to be my size.
If I were to dress as a woman, I'd be wearing dresses in size 16-18-20
(I'm a 42" chest)
I would like to be a size 10, maybe a size 36" chest, and probably 50 pounds lighter.

[veronicagirl]

I definitely can't pass due to those highly masculine facial traits and height. My "fun" is the feel of femininity in my home, yard, an occassional ride and stop at a remote park for early coffee. While more cute gal's shoes and boots are being manufactured in size 12 (US), not many of the really cute ones are in wide width. Hint: Glitter is lovely/wonderful but a real b***h to remove completely.

[dholleyjr]

you all are too kind! thanks for all the responses. i'm narrowing my focus to the mechanical challenges of a man trying to look like a woman. i know that there are huge social issues, but my audience is well-aware of the prejudices of our society. besides, it's a 1000-1500 word paper and that's just not enough space to tackle those huge problems. not only that, but i've always been more interested in the daily struggles of individuals. i think most people tend to forget how hard everyday life can be--how hard it is to be human, regardless of tastes and lifestyles. the specifics of everyday life can provide just as much insight into a person as the overall "story arc" of their life.

so, with that in mind, i'm dividing my paper into three main parts--overcoming the difference in facial features, overcoming the difference in figure shape, and "other" miscellaneous stuff (adam's apple, hand size, vocal range, and any other small tid-bit i can find). i only hope that i can do the topic justice and possibly make some minuscule impact on my classmates, reminding them that people are people are people...that we all put on our pants one leg at a time, so to speak.

if you think of anything else i should add, please keep posting.

thanks again.

[Chari]

My problem point in trying to "pass" is my hands. Most women have long thin fingers, but mine are short and kind of fat looking! What to do? Makeup and clothes can conceal most other flaws, but hands are always in view.:2c: Also if a woman wears a guys shirt, undershorts, or sweater, everyone thinks its cute, but if a guy wears a skirt, dress, or silky top with a little makeup - society wants to stone him to death. It's just NOT fair!

Chari

[Carla4Guage]

Like most I have a problem with my height, but my sholders are too broad and my hands are too stubby. Close shaving will get me by, but only for about 6 hours max.

As to the second question, I think the misconception that crossdressers are mostly gay men. I have found that to be the exact opposite. I would venture a guess that we are within 5% of the norm for all males.

[Marla S]

so, with that in mind, i'm dividing my paper into three main parts--overcoming the difference in facial features, overcoming the difference in figure shape, and "other" miscellaneous stuff (adam's apple, hand size, vocal range, and any other small tid-bit i can find). i only hope that i can do the topic justice and possibly make some minuscule impact on my classmates, reminding them that people are people are people...that we all put on our pants one leg at a time, so to speak.

if you think of anything else i should add, please keep posting.

thanks again.
I think you can cover this under the topic "Passing".
All the mentioned features are hurdles to meet the "ideal of beauty". In this respect it is a similar problem like GGs have: breast too small or too big, nose to large, too tall, neck to short, overweight, crinkles, etc. ... causes problems ... accepting what mother nature gave you and to learn to like it is a tough thing in a photoshoped media society.

[Lisa Golightly]

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine... What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.?

TBH I only have one problem, but it's not my problem. It's more a frustration with the masses around me that pursue a reckless course through time conditioned to experience life as a mere 50% of what they could be...

[Nicki B]

All the mentioned features are hurdles to meet the "ideal of beauty". In this respect it is a similar problem like GGs have: breast too small or too big, nose to large, too tall, neck to short, overweight, crinkles, etc. ... causes problems ... accepting what mother nature gave you and to learn to like it is a tough thing in a photoshoped media society.

You beat me to it.. :winking:

d,

I think that if you posed a similar question to a group of genetic women you'd get very similar responses from some - weight, hands, facial features, height, etc.

All this shows is how obsessive today's media makes us all with appearance?

IMHO the difference for us is what we see in the mirror - and the discomfort we have with a 'male' appearance?

Some of us, too, are lucky enough to have some or all of good facial features, small hands and feet, small build, etc... That's just a lottery.



The important thing (again IMHO) is accepting what you have and not letting that stop you be the person you need to be? The battle is a mental one - with yourself..

A friend of mine who is into martial arts calls it 'slaying your own dragons'?

[Nicki B]

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.

If you just want ideas for how we go about transforming our bodies, there's loads of information here already about hormones, corsetry, hip, bum & thigh padding, breastforms, wigs, makeup... :strugglin

Try some searching and background reading?

[SusanMarie]

1) For me, to complete the feminine presentation, the facial features are the biggest challenge.

2) I remind myself that the Matrix..oops, I mean society, cannot tell me who I am.

[charlie]

Greetings All-

Please read my thread, "a few questions," for background info.

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.

or

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.

I can feel very feminine, especailly when I pull on the nylons and heels. The main probvlem is again the male face. I jsut can't hide or change that anyway that I know of, and be able to change it back. That male jaw line just can't be hidden!

As for society, I am terrified of it. If found out society I know will not accept what we do. CD or Transgendered are some sort of creature out of the bar scene in the original Star Wars movie. This includes most of my family as well I'm afraid.

[Katie Ashe]

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? My weight is an issue...5'5" @ 190lbs. The other thing is my Voice,,, makes it hard to "blend" in the crowd.

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? How we are not given basic human rights, Lack of respect, Uphill fight with medical, Religion seems to be an issue, the fact that my own government has little desire to protect our right to live and be happy, I mean animals have more rights than some of the GLBT in some states...

[charllote34]

To me its not the clothes , my body or my shoes just , as regular readers will know MY PESKY EYEBROWS!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!:devil:

[docrobbysherry]

Greetings All-

Please read my thread, "a few questions," for background info.

What are the most annoying problems you face in your quest to look and feel more feminine--finding the right shoes, dress fittings, details that non-CD's would overlook? This might seem like a petty question, but I think that the mechanical details of the transformation would make an interesting subject for my paper.

or

What frustrations do you have with society's views/misconceptions of CD's that are a part of your daily routine at home/neighborhood/work/place of worship/etc.? This is a bit less superficial, but I don't think that makes it any more interesting.


If you've seen my pics, u know my figure can look pretty feminine. The masculine hiding problems I have; my upper arms and big hands. I can wear sleeves for the arms, and gloves hide my hands.
Many CD's complain about facial looks. My face could not be made to look female, any way shape or form. So, I have come up with a unique solution; special faces that I make myself. A bonus is that, the age of my face and body match better, now. They r good enough to fool me and my camera, which is all I need!
RS

www.myspace.com/robert/sherry

[Dita_B]

Hi doc, your post made me curious, so sorry that I go off topic for a second, but do you mean you MAKE your own faces?

I became curious about your looks as well but the link in your post doesn't work, at least not from this girl's computer...

So please elaborate, or start a thread about your home made faces, you got my attention because it could be a dream come true...

Love, :love:Dita.

[charllote34]

Sounds fascinating to say the least would be curious to see your work x

[docrobbysherry]

Hi doc, your post made me curious, so sorry that I go off topic for a second, but do you mean you MAKE your own faces?

I became curious about your looks as well but the link in your post doesn't work, at least not from this girl's computer...

So please elaborate, or start a thread about your home made faces, you got my attention because it could be a dream come true...

Love, :love:Dita.


Sounds fascinating to say the least would be curious to see your work x

I don't want to hijack this post. Sorry! I made a mistake in my url try:
www.myspace.com/robertsherry

I think that will work. See what u think. If u have any questions, just ask away!

[StayceeCD]

My problem point in trying to "pass" is my hands. Most women have long thin fingers, but mine are short and kind of fat looking! What to do? Makeup and clothes can conceal most other flaws, but hands are always in view.:2c: Also if a woman wears a guys shirt, undershorts, or sweater, everyone thinks its cute, but if a guy wears a skirt, dress, or silky top with a little makeup - society wants to stone him to death. It's just NOT fair!

Chari

Oh yeah!
Forgot about my canned hams, er I mean hands!! :rolleyes: