Goodbye to CDing

[JazmyneCD]

To the wonderful community that is Crossdressers.com,

Last night, with much hesitation, I made the decision to give up CDing for a while--if not, for good.

There are a few reasons behind the decision, one which I made and immediately rescinded right after I got married almost 14 years ago. What it basically came down to was time; I was spending my evenings dressing up and enjoying myself while my wife, although supportive, spent her time in another room. Not exactly the ideal way to be a married couple.

Additionally, there were days when I couldn't wait for everybody in the house to get to bed or fall asleep so I can dress. "Everybody" includes my wonderful 3-year-old son, a fact I never revealed while posting here. Dressing almost became an obsession and began to interfere with my daily life (since I have still not "come out"), so I had to draw the line somewhere as my behavior almost became destructive.

I have thrown out all of my shoes and most of my hose. I say "most" since the wife and I routinely wear them while having fun in bed ;) My wife is fully aware of my--dare I say it--pantyhose fetish and submits to having either myself or her wearing them while in bed. At least we still have that. The clothes remain since they were/all my wife's clothes, but I did give her a few pairs of shoes I had bought since she never wears gilry shoes. (Unfortunately, they are a bit too big for her.)

My friends, thank you for being who you are and for all the support and friendship you've provided when I needed it most. You've been like an extended family to me and I will miss you dearly :( I may be back but for now, this is a decision I believe is the right thing to do.

Gotta run. My son has some new Hot Wheels he want to play with :)

Kindest regards and XOXO to all,
JazmyneCD

[AshleyLove]

Sorry to hear you have to give it up, but seems to be for good reasons. Good luck with everything and hope your life lets you come back to it someday!

[SandyR]

Life is about balance, We must moderate in all things we do,,,well maybe not football.....heheh

Really I hope you find your balance, its worth the wait....

Hugs!

SandyR

[Billijo49504]

Sorry to hear you are leaving us, but I wish you the best. I hope you can do what you are trying to do. As most of us have known, it is very hard to give it up. But best wishes....BJ

[Paula Wilder]

Darn shame we can't have some of our own pleasures sometimes, without getting sucked into "our responsibilities to others." That's the way it is, though, and I understand. Just make sure you carve out some "you time" once in a while so you don't end up resenting everyone else. After all, if you don't take care of yourself, and your own needs, you're often not as good at doing for others. Keep the faith, and I hope you end up happy!

Hugs,

Paula

PS: Maybe you can give your stuff to a friend, in case you want it back some day?

[Daintre]

I commend you on your family first thoughts. Spending time with a loved one , spouse, or son/daughter should not be a Responsibility, but a joy. Dressing can still be part of your life, but in moderation. Store the clothes, enjoy the family, see what happens. All the best to you, we will be here, oh and remember...you do not have to dress to belong here.

[trannie T]

I hope things go well for you.

[docrobbysherry]

I commend you on your family first thoughts. Spending time with a loved one , spouse, or son/daughter should not be a Responsibility, but a joy. Dressing can still be part of your life, but in moderation. Store the clothes, enjoy the family, see what happens. All the best to you, we will be here, oh and remember...you do not have to dress to belong here.

Jenni, I relate entirely to your situation. I took a personal day off today from work. Over half of it was spent in another lavish dress up orgy! So, many of the things I took the day off for, remain undone. It has been like this since July! I hope to find the balance others have mentioned. Being divorced, means I don't have a lot of limits! I hope u find the balance u need in your life!
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Kaylene]

Darn shame we can't have some of our own pleasures sometimes, without getting sucked into "our responsibilities to others."

Maybe, but having a significant other accept what we do is a LOT to ask. It's so great when they do, but I can totally understand their feelings, and like it not, if you're married, you have to take that into consideration.

[Sharon]

All the best to you, Jazmyne, and I hope everything goes well for you.

If, in the future, you feel a need to crossdress again, you might find a satisfactory medium where you can do it just once or twice a week, rather than every night. That way you will be able to devote the majority of the time you have with your family with them.

[Kristen Marie]

Hi Jazmyne,

I went through those same feelings and got rid of 90-95% of my clothing. That was 15 years ago. About a year ago things changed. Kristen now has a wonderful balance. I get out on average once or twice a month. I have never enjoyed it so much as I have this past year. Enjoy your family now.....

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jazmyne,

Best Wishes for the future :hugs:

[MJ]

Family First... i wish you well . and we are here when you need a little piece of heaven

[DonnaT]

Good luck Jazmyne.

Breaking away from a compulsion, as you've deemed it, can me quite trying, leading to short tempers. Try to avoid that trap. Make sure you talk to your wife and let her know how you are feeling, especially when/if it starts to get to you.

[ashlee chiffon]

just remember...the bright side to purging is like the only upside to divorce...

you get to get all New stuff later on!

as our Calif. Gov Arnold says...you'll be baaaaaaaack!
*kidding..hope all is working out for you!*
ciao!

[carie]

sorry to hear that .. all the best !:hugs:

[Ðarissa]

Sorry to hear you are going. I'm sure it was a hard decision but sometimes we have to make sacrifices. Have fun with playing with your son and the hot wheels. Best of luck to you and take care! :hugs: :D

[Julie York]

Now if only I had someone to play Hotwheels with.:straightface:



Good luck.:thumbsup:

[Dawn D.]

Jazmyne,

I empathize with how you feel. You are right in backing away from it for now. I would also like to echo what DonnaT has said. Especially as being one who has a fairly short temper when in male mode. Communication on the CD issue is something that I feel you need to continue with your wife just to help you cope with what could be a very trying period. In the mean time have fun with your son and those Hot Wheels! I loved those when I was a kid.




Dawn

[shauna 9]

Sorry to hear you are leaving us, but I wish you the best.

[Jodie Wexler]

Good for you. I won't say sorry. I am happy you decided what was best for you and you are going to try it. Best Wishes, Jodie

[Tina Dixon]

Good luck to you, been there and done that.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Jazmyne, I could never completely give up Cd'ing but then I'm not married with kids. Maybe you could find some happy medium between family life and dressing but your reasons for quitting are solid ones. I wish you luck in the future. Hugs,Samantha

[Bridal Britney]

and I hope all works out the best for you!

[Marcie Sexton]

Good for you...It is obvious, although perhaps painful for you, that you see the bigger picture and are willing to take one for the team....

I have done the same before and would gladly do it again if the need arose....It seems there are fathers and husbands left in this world and you are one of them...

Good Luck

[goofus]

Why anyone would choose to suppress something that can bring so much joy is beyond me. It seems like compromises could be made with the family, the person could come out to his son, etc. Purging is not the answer, take it from a former purger :happy:

[Jaydee]

Jazmyne,
It may not be a popular sentiment here, but I find it refreshing that you can put the welfare of your family ahead of your CDing. Crossdressers seem to be self-absorbed. CDing seems to be all all about "me".
I know that it is hard if not impossible to stop for the long term. Maybe you will only be able to stop for a few years, but during those years you will have spent more time with your family. My children are grown, and I can assure you that it happens fast. Even if you come back, you know you tried and did your best. Good Luck to you.

[goofus]

Jazmyne,
It may not be a popular sentiment here, but I find it refreshing that you can put the welfare of your family ahead of your CDing. Crossdressers seem to be self-absorbed. CDing seems to be all all about "me".
I know that it is hard if not impossible to stop for the long term. Maybe you will only be able to stop for a few years, but during those years you will have spent more time with your family. My children are grown, and I can assure you that it happens fast. Even if you come back, you know you tried and did your best. Good Luck to you.

How does allowing himself to CD negatively affect the welfare of his family exactly?

[goofus]

Because of the times you dont spend with your family because you are dressed doing your own thing, because of that hug you couldn't give because you didnt want a child to feel you were wearing a bra....... those things

Well where is it written that one can't spend time with one's family while crossdressed? Also, will a child be scarred for life by feeling your bra straps?

[Jodie Wexler]

I wish I could give it up and get back the time I have spent and the time I will spend, hiding in hotel rooms, away from my family. I applaud Jazmyne once again.
Jodie

[goofus]

I wish I could give it up and get back the time I have spent and the time I will spend, hiding in hotel rooms, away from my family. I applaud Jazmyne once again.
Jodie

A couple of thoughts:
1. If your wife just absolutely can't stand to see you dressed, maybe you have the wrong wife?
2. Children aren't born hating/fearing transpeople, it's taught to them. Couldn't it just as easily *not* be taught?

[Raychel]

Best Wishes JazmyneCD, :thumbsup::thumbsup:

I commend you on the path that you hav chosen. It is sometimes very dificult to keep that very important balance with your CD life and the the other parts of life that can't be replaced. You can always get back to dressing some other time. But the times that your son will want to play Hot Wheels with you will be limited. The next thing you know he will be looking for the car keys and be gone. Then you will have time to dress again.

[Hali]

Your post unfortunately ANNOY me cos you made CDing sound like a club or a thing that one can start and stop anytime he wants, hey CDing cant just be turned-off i've tried that and so are many CDs. No offence I dont think you are a CD or may be you are just beginning your CDing or you havent read POSTS in this forum about how difficult it is to even suspend CDing. Hey your mail is intended to make CDs angry and make us hate ourselves....why because if jazmyneCd can quite Cding just like that why cant other CDs, if you feel you can stop it go ahead i DARE you. Take care.

[christina marie]

this is the mark of true courage, putting others needs before your own desires. Good Luck Jazmyne, i am sure you will do well, and if you ever need us, you know where we are!

[Samantha43]

Jazmyne,

Best wishes to you. It is very difficult to maintain a proper balance in life. You are doing the right thing for your family.

[phyllis47]

Sorry to hear that. You should have packed everything away as you will come back. Good luck....

[Veronica53]

Sorry to hear that and I wish you the best of luck,I too went through something similar (did not want to wear or dress or even talk about it for quite a while, threw a bunch of stuff out and lo and behold here I am sitting at the computer in a nice short skirt pantyhose and heels. For me this continues to be an off and on again thing that may never go away.

:hugs:Veronica

[goofus]

Sorry to hear that and I wish you the best of luck,I too went through something similar (did not want to wear or dress or even talk about it for quite a while, threw a bunch of stuff out and lo and behold here I am sitting at the computer in a nice short skirt pantyhose and heels. For me this continues to be an off and on again thing that may never go away.

:hugs:Veronica

It will never go away, so stop being ashamed, get used to it, celebrate it, revel in it, and if others don't like it, heck with 'em...

[jennifer41356]

It will never go away, so stop being ashamed, get used to it, celebrate it, revel in it, and if others don't like it, heck with 'em...


I agree with you goofus:cheer: