You are not Damaged Goods!!?

[Megan_Girl]

Well girls "the cat is out of the bag"..........

I know I'm late in posting this but I'm still getting over the shock and the blessing that is my wife.

As my daughter went to a Halloween party on Sunday afternoon (10/28) it was one of those rare occasions when my wife and I can share a meal together.... We were at a local Mex restaurant talking about life and my somewhat dysfunctional family....how my brothers and I are alcoholics and my sisters are just a couple of "Witches" and I was saying how as a group we are somewhat "damaged goods".....when my wife jumps in and says ... "Don't say that!!!.... your are not damaged goods... so your a crossdresser!... it may not be common but you not damaged Goods!"

Well, I about fell out of my chair!!! She quickly told me the story of how she was looking for some party decorations the other day and found a overnight bag that I had prepped for an night in San Jose that never happened and how she and known and/or suspected for a while.

"As long as you don't want to leave and become this person full time and still want to be our husband/ father....then your private life is OK with me"...........WOW!!!

We had a long talk about my CD history and she mentioned several times over the past 20 years where she had noticed things. She said "we never have to talk about it if I don't want too" and I said "that if she ever had any questions or wanted to talk about it we can" and that is that.

I called the florist the next day and send her a dozen red roses!!

and PS: I got up 10 minutes early the next day and shaved my legs.............

I have often wondered what if.... but never thought that she would be so matter of fact and accepting about this........ How did I get to be so blessed as to find such a wonderful woman?

This past weekend we had another long talk at a local diner. I started the discussion of my dressing as I wanted her to have the full story. I told her about my photo shoots with Gina, which I did, and I offered the photos if she wants to see them.

We talked again about loving each other, me not wanting to become a woman or not wanting to leave home and not being GAY. She's been doing some reading on the subject via the net and knows that most Cd's are straight. She is so loving ans supportive that I nearly cried. She sez she loves me for me!!

I have a business trip to San Jose next week and she knows I'll be dressing on this trip. I feel incredibly free... I'm going very slow and being very respectful of her feelings. She's not ready to see photos or see me dressed.....yet. But, I think she'll come around.

I don't know where this will all end up.... I now dream of the day (night) where Megan could go out for the evening with my wife, but I'll jump of that bridge when I get to it.

I do know that without the things I've read and learned her on this forum....and without the love and support you've so freely given... I would not be where I am on this journey and I would not be handling it the way I am.
So, Thanks to all of you!!

XXX
Megan

[Dita_B]

May I be among the first ones to congratulate you, Megan?

That is phenomenal news!

You are really, really blessed with your wife... I envy you!

Love, :love:Dita.

[Niya W]

Waves to Meg from San Jose. Well I hope every thing goes well for you

[trannie T]

Happy to hear that you're undamaged. Keep taking care of your wife, she's a keeper.

[docrobbysherry]

Wonderful uplifting post Megan. U R a lucky CD! Just one question:

Do u know the way to San Jose?

Hey, if it wasn't me, one of u other cuties would have said it!
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Megan_Girl]

RS - grone........ that one hurt..:lol:

Thanks to all for your support.

XXX
Megan

[Sheri 4242]

Great story!!! You just remember to keep that wonderful wife of yours "in the loop" and I bet things will continue to improve!!! Many times CDers get positive feedback like this and then go into a major "pink fog" episode. That's understandable, but not what should be first on your list of priorities!!! What is really important is for you to keep doing things for your wife that shows how you value and love her!!! The topic of CDing doesn't need to be brought up each and every time for you to continue to shower her with affection and attention!!!

[Deborah Jane]

Thats great news Megan. And it sounds like you have a wonderful wife:love:

[Michelia]

Thanks for sharing, Megan. Congratulations. I wonder what made her finally let you know she suspected.

Michelia

[Suzie S.]

What a wonderful story Megan, I'm glad things are going well for you! :happy: Very nice touch getting you wife some flowers also! :thumbsup:

[kittypw GG]

Megan,
Sorry to rain on your parade but you say you are going to take it slow but the very next day you up and shaved your legs. :eek: Some women have a problem with their man shaving and yet you never even talked to her about it. (or at least you did not indicate as much). She may not say anthing about it but if you keep taking such liberties you may risk turning your accepting wife into a non accepting one. Like Sheri said "keep her in the loop" and you should be fine. Trust me, take your time and don't always push the limits.
:hugs: Kitty

[RachelDenise]

Megan, go very slowly. It may feel liberating but you need to focus on her, talk with her and set boundaries.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Megan, I wish that were me and my wife. I have tried everything from trying to talk to her(doesn't want to hear it) to purposely leaving my pantyhose out so we could talk(she ignores them). Actually I am very happy for you and her as well.
I guess it would be correct to say that acceptance from ones SO is the ultimate acceptance.


:love: Mollyanne

[Sonia_cd]

Sweetie, that is just precious. She sounds like a wonderful. loving, level headed, intelligent person that looks beyond clothes and understands that you are the sum total of you male persona and Megan and loves you for that. BY the way great move with the red roses, I'm sure the gesture didn't go unnoticed. You're a very lucky girl. Congratulations!

Hugs,
Sonia

[Tree GG]

... She's not ready to see photos or see me dressed.....yet. But, I think she'll come around....



Please to not dismiss the significance of this statement. There is a reason she doesn't want to see Megan. In time she may very well want to but thinking she will "come around" is you assuming she will find Megan as tantalizing, attractive, desirable & wonderful as you do. That may not be the case and you are setting an expectation that can only end with feelings of hurt, rejection and guilt for both you AND your wife.

You know for a fact that your wife is OK and comfortable with your CD expressions to date (any feedback on the leg shaving thing?).....that's great! As Kitty cautions, don't run amock. Your wife loves you, not just one part of you or the part you think is best, the whole package she knows. If you start changing that package without discussion (just the courtesy of informing her), she may see what she believes as just a part of you, taking over the whole package and that's where I think initially accepting wives jump ship.

Best of luck to you both!

[JoAnnDallas]

Congrads..........just a couple of months ago, my wife found out about my fem side. I answered all her questions, then she got kinda quite for a couple of days. I started getting real nervious and expected the other shoe to drop and she demanding I quit. So I asked her is she was OK with my dressing and she looks at me and says, "I have deciede it is no different than when you dress up in custome and goto your SciFi/Annime Conventions." It was kinda like WOW. I then asked her if she would like to see some pictures of me dressed. She said NO. So I asked if I could have some time for muself. We dicussed this and came up with a Saturday afternoon each month that I could have for myself. So I have my time, she is OK with it so far.

[MJ]

thats wonderful news Megan . but please take it slow and talk to her wow i wish you well and if she needs more information see if she will come to the forum
hugs

[Megan_Girl]

Many thanks to all of you for your kind support.

I'm paying close attention to our GG's who have responded. Both Kitty and TreeGG bring up good points. Ladies...Thank you!! your not raining on my parade :umbrella: and rest assured I have not and will not push my agenda here....

My wifes exact words were.."I'm not ready to see you dressed yet" and when I talked about the photo shoots and the pictures. She was very interested, wanted to know if I had had fun doing it and was very excited when I talked about how much fun I had. I know that look and after 30 years (20 of marriage and 10 dating) I know that look...she's curious.

I know what I have in her loving acceptance and I will do my best to not take it for granted. Thanks for the great feedback.

XXX
Megan

[docrobbysherry]

Congrads..........just a couple of months ago, my wife found out about my fem side. I answered all her questions, then she got kinda quite for a couple of days. I started getting real nervious and expected the other shoe to drop and she demanding I quit. So I asked her is she was OK with my dressing and she looks at me and says, "I have deciede it is no different than when you dress up in custome and goto your SciFi/Annime Conventions." It was kinda like WOW. I then asked her if she would like to see some pictures of me dressed. She said NO. So I asked if I could have some time for muself. We dicussed this and came up with a Saturday afternoon each month that I could have for myself. So I have my time, she is OK with it so far.

JoAnn, good post. Lot's of food for thought. " Dressed up like in a costume for a Sci/Fi convention". I think a lot of us could use that line!
And dressing one Sat. afternoon a month. Hmm. I wonder if I could keep my CDing down to once a week? Whatever works for the 2 of u is great.
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Ðarissa]

Wow Megan, that is a great story and my eyes got all watery when you said you sent her roses. You have an awesome wife, you lucky girl! :hugs: :D

[sissystephanie]

Megan,

You are one very lucky girl!! Congratulations on talking it over with your wife, and getting her blessing. She sounds a lot like my late wife, except that I told her before we were married. She asked me two major (to me at least!) questions. "Do you go out in public dressed" was the first one, to which I answered no because I was not good with makeup or my wig. Her reply was to the effect that she would do my makeup and fix my hair!!:love:Then she asked, "so when do I get to meet Stephanie?" Like you, I almost fell out of my chair. She was serious, she wanted to see me fully dressed. We had many wonderful years together which included many occasions of being two girls!!:love:

Sissy/Stephanie

More Gilr than man sometimes

[Megan_Girl]

Thanks Sissy/Stephanie - I do feel sooo.. lucky! I've told her several times since how lucky I feel and how "Big a deal" this is to me.

Funny she didn't ask if I had been "out in public"....I think she knows the answer, as she made a point of telling me she wants me to stay safe.

I can't stress enough that over the years she saw the signs and by the time she found my overnight bag she knew what was inside. She said she just opened it and looked inside. She didn't even go through it as she wanted to respect my privacy. She promises that my privacy is my privacy and she's not going to go looking through my things. - I'm such a lucky girl....I told her that she can ask anything she like and see everything she wants.

XXX
Megan

[AllyM]

Megan, this is wonderful. My wife also knows about me and is also very supportive. She has now known for about a year and if anything, it has brought us closer together. If I can just give you some advice, it is TAKE CARE OF THAT LADY! She is very special!!! Ally

[Rita B]

We have very similar stories. I had to declare myself to my wife a few months ago. Although we have had some difficult moments over it, we have made a lot of progress. At least she wants to understand and accept the fact that I am crossdresser. Like your wife though, she is not ready to see any photos of me dressed or to see me dressed in person.

She has been in Florida for the past several weeks and she knows that I have been going out to T Girl gatherings and dressing. Before she left, she went through a lot of jewelry that she thought I could use ( especially clip earrings). She told me it was OK if I used whatever things of hers that I could, like pocketboos, scarves, shawls, pashminas etc. . . When we talk over the phone she will ask me if I have been doing any shopping and what things I bought. She asks me a lot of questions about the parties that I have been especially a Halloween party that I went to.

She is coming home in two weeks and has agreed to go to a T Girl birthday party that I have been invited to meet some of my friends. She is particularly interested in meeting wives or SO's of T Girls.
You are so right in taking it very slowly. Her love for you and her inate feminine curiosity will open the doors.

Best of luck!

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Megan. Such a wonderful person as you deserves some good fortune and I am glad that you have it now. Maybe you have a lucky Shamrock somewhere? Enjoy your new open relationship and I am looking forward to updates as this all develops.

Hugs and Kisses :hugs: :love:

[SandyR]

Awesome Megan! Take it slow and enjoy. Mine sounds much the same, love her for sure!

Sounds like a keeper.

SsndyR