Should I Transition?

[MichelleWentworth]

I have been cross dressing since I was 8 years old but have never had the money or freedom to seriously consider transition the way I can now.

I am way short of passing in my current state and have been attacked a few times by groups of transphobic males when I have been "read". This makes me a bit scared to go out in female clothing at this time.

I am 46 years old. A serious problem.
I have a good budget so I can afford the surgery and to give up full time work.
I am not that interested in SRS at this stage and will make that decision in a couple of years.

Being older I have modest expectations of hormone treatments however I do have some things I am curious about.


How much do hormones effect your body shape?
Does hormone treatment effect your sexuality? Do you become more interested in men? Less interested in women? (I am bi now with a 70% leaning towards women.)
How does it effect your ability to achieve errection and ***?
Hormones are often used as part of an anti-ageing treatment, has it 'wound back the clock' for you? I have some real issues with geting older!
How satisfying are post SRS organism?
What effect do hormones have on your brain including logical and linguistic processes?


My biggest fear is instead of becoming a mature attractive female I become a freak and an outcast. I have seen trannies in Sydney that look like guys with long hair and tits in a dress that turn heads for all the wrong reasons.

After transition I will retire from full time work and spend most of my days producing music in my recording studio. My relationships will be based around the active BDMS community in Sydney. Some income will come from an Internet based compuer business I will run part time.

TRANSITION PROJECT PLAN
Hands: I hope to substantially improve the appearance of my hands with a CO2 laser peal.
Back: (what a mess from sun damage) I am hoping a chemical peal of my back and arms will restore a milk white completion. We can only hope.
Hair: Growing head hair but had to get it cut a few weeks ago for a business reason, will start again. (I hope hormones will stop thinning).
Body Hair: I have started Laser hair removal.
Facial Hair: about to start electrolysis. I have heard warnings about scaring.
Weight & Size: I am 6'1" (187cm) and 231lb (105kg) my target weight is 176lb (80kg.) I am fairly big boned and this is a serious problem. I am working on diet and exercise and am down from 124kg. This is such a problem it is close to being a "deal breaker".
Breasts: Planning Implants to B or C cup after 2 years of hormones.
Waist to hip ratio: the ideal female waist diameter to hip diameter ratio is .7 Sit-ups, hormones add some fat to my bottom, corset training, liposuction around the wist. - Any other ideas?
Teeth: Acrylic veneers on 4 top front teeth. Whitening all others.
Voice: A challenge but I am working on it.
Walk: I have that down fine. I have been working with a video.

FFS.
I am thinking this will be split into 2 rounds of surgery separated by about 3 to 5 months.
The first will be the skull reshaping the second will be the fine work with what they call facial rejuvenation. I have seen some fantastic before and after shots on the Internet from racial rejuvenation clinics but I doubt these results are typical.

I have a most unfeminine face. It is the thing that gives me away most quickly. I am going to need brow, nose and chin reshaped. Nose to upper lip reduced and lips filled out.

Round 2 will be a facial rejuvenation and may include:
CO2 laser resurfacing of my face
eye lift
face lift
filling of the small creases running from my nose outside my mouth
liposuction under the chin
Other stuff as recommended at the time.

[Sharon]

I have to say that what you write confuses me a bit. You want to transition, with possible future SRS, but you are concerned about being able to achieve an erection and ejaculate. Most people who are transsexual have little or no desire in this regard. As a matter of fact, the less we think about this particular body appendage, the better.

Hormones will not affect your linguistic or thinking process -- None, zip, zero! You will still be you and all the feminization in the world won't change that, except to make you more at peace with yourself if, indeed, this is the right choice for you.

You sexual preferences may or may not change, but most people appear to retain the same throughout and after transitioning.

Some changes in the body are possible, but may be less than you would hope. Your breasts will almost definitely grow, but the increase in size is sometimes less than desired, which is why so many decide to have implants at some time in the future. Body fat and it's mass and location can also be affected, but the older you are, the less that will be readily apparent.

Also -- sometimes hormones will make FFS unnecessary. I know that, in the past, I always felt that I would eventually have implants and a wish to lower my hairline. But as I have been undergoing my own changes, I feel less of a need. My breasts are coming along nicely -- and not far from the breast sizes of my sisters -- and my hairline is filling in. Results vary from person to person, but just delay any cosmetic surgery until at least well into you hormone treatments.

And one last point -- 46 is not old, dammit!

[MJ]

I have been cross dressing since I was 8 years old but have never had the money or freedom to seriously consider transition the way I can now.

I am way short of passing in my current state and have been attacked a few times by groups of transphobic males when I have been "read". This makes me a bit scared to go out in female clothing at this time.

you must do this the right way and conduct the real life test dress full time 24/7 365 year .. you must learn to deal with trans-phobic people this is a part of our lives i am sad to say

I am 46 years old. A serious problem.I have a good budget so I can afford the surgery and to give up full time work.
I am not that interested in SRS at this stage and will make that decision in a couple of years.

Being older I have modest expectations of hormone treatments however I do have some things I am curious about.

[LIST]
How much do hormones effect your body shape?

depends some of us lose weight some gain . body fat is redistributed and some facial feminine is achieved

Does hormone treatment effect your sexuality? Do you become more interested in men? Less interested in women? (I am bi now with a 70% leaning towards women.)

again it is hard to say some of us do become more interested in men? and some don't

How does it effect your ability to achieve erection and ***?

??? Hormones will devastate your manhood over time and shrink back to nothing one day it won't work at all .. apart from peeing out of..that is
it bring a new meaning to lets just be friends

Hormones are often used as part of an anti-ageing treatment, has it 'wound back the clock' for you? I have some real issues with getting older!

that would take a before and after picture and we all grow old and in some cases it does a little

How satisfying are post SRS organism?

that i don't know have no idea and probably never will

What effect do hormones have on your brain including logical and linguistic processes?

from my point of view the emotional level was the hardest to deal with apart from that i feel the same as i always did

My biggest fear is instead of becoming a mature attractive female I become a freak and an outcast. I have seen trannies in Sydney that look like guys with long hair and tits in a dress that turn heads for all the wrong reasons.

We were born in the wrong body's there is only so much we can do . if i had $100.000.00 i would change everything about myself but for now i have no choice but to look like a guy with long hair and tits in a dress that turn heads for all the wrong reasons.

After transition I will retire from full time work and spend most of my days producing music in my recording studio. My relationships will be based around the active BDMS community in Sydney. Some income will come from an Internet based compuer business I will run part time.

i wish you all the best

TRANSITION PROJECT PLAN
Hands: I hope to substantially improve the appearance of my hands with a CO2 laser peal.
Back: (what a mess from sun damage) I am hoping a chemical peal of my back and arms will restore a milk white completion. We can only hope.
Hair: Growing head hair but had to get it cut a few weeks ago for a business reason, will start again. (I hope hormones will stop thinning).
Body Hair: I have started Laser hair removal.
Facial Hair: about to start electrolysis. I have heard warnings about scaring.
Weight & Size: I am 6'1" (187cm) and 231lb (105kg) my target weight is 176lb (80kg.) I am fairly big boned and this is a serious problem. I am working on diet and exercise and am down from 124kg. This is such a problem it is close to being a "deal breaker".
Breasts: Planning Implants to B or C cup after 2 years of hormones.
Waist to hip ratio: the ideal female waist diameter to hip diameter ratio is .7 Sit-ups, hormones add some fat to my bottom, corset training, liposuction around the wist. - Any other ideas?
Teeth: Acrylic veneers on 4 top front teeth. Whitening all others.
Voice: A challenge but I am working on it.
Walk: I have that down fine. I have been working with a video.

FFS.
I am thinking this will be split into 2 rounds of surgery separated by about 3 to 5 months.
The first will be the skull reshaping the second will be the fine work with what they call facial rejuvenation. I have seen some fantastic before and after shots on the Internet from racial rejuvenation clinics but I doubt these results are typical.

I have a most unfeminine face. It is the thing that gives me away most quickly. I am going to need brow, nose and chin reshaped. Nose to upper lip reduced and lips filled out.

Round 2 will be a facial rejuvenation and may include:
CO2 laser resurfacing of my face
eye lift
face lift
filling of the small creases running from my nose outside my mouth
liposuction under the chin
Other stuff as recommended at the time.

don't you think this is extreme your not exactly a spring chicken "young"

[DianaGomez]

don't you think this is extreme your not exactly a spring chicken "young" LOL!!!!

[Stephenie S]

I have been cross dressing since I was 8 years old but have never had the money or freedom to seriously consider transition the way I can now.

I am way short of passing in my current state and have been attacked a few times by groups of transphobic males when I have been "read". This makes me a bit scared to go out in female clothing at this time.

I am 46 years old. A serious problem.
I have a good budget so I can afford the surgery and to give up full time work.
I am not that interested in SRS at this stage and will make that decision in a couple of years.

Being older I have modest expectations of hormone treatments however I do have some things I am curious about.


How much do hormones effect your body shape?
Does hormone treatment effect your sexuality? Do you become more interested in men? Less interested in women? (I am bi now with a 70% leaning towards women.)
How does it effect your ability to achieve errection and ***?
Hormones are often used as part of an anti-ageing treatment, has it 'wound back the clock' for you? I have some real issues with geting older!
How satisfying are post SRS organism?
What effect do hormones have on your brain including logical and linguistic processes?


My biggest fear is instead of becoming a mature attractive female I become a freak and an outcast. I have seen trannies in Sydney that look like guys with long hair and tits in a dress that turn heads for all the wrong reasons.

After transition I will retire from full time work and spend most of my days producing music in my recording studio. My relationships will be based around the active BDMS community in Sydney. Some income will come from an Internet based compuer business I will run part time.

TRANSITION PROJECT PLAN
Hands: I hope to substantially improve the appearance of my hands with a CO2 laser peal.
Back: (what a mess from sun damage) I am hoping a chemical peal of my back and arms will restore a milk white completion. We can only hope.
Hair: Growing head hair but had to get it cut a few weeks ago for a business reason, will start again. (I hope hormones will stop thinning).
Body Hair: I have started Laser hair removal.
Facial Hair: about to start electrolysis. I have heard warnings about scaring.
Weight & Size: I am 6'1" (187cm) and 231lb (105kg) my target weight is 176lb (80kg.) I am fairly big boned and this is a serious problem. I am working on diet and exercise and am down from 124kg. This is such a problem it is close to being a "deal breaker".
Breasts: Planning Implants to B or C cup after 2 years of hormones.
Waist to hip ratio: the ideal female waist diameter to hip diameter ratio is .7 Sit-ups, hormones add some fat to my bottom, corset training, liposuction around the wist. - Any other ideas?
Teeth: Acrylic veneers on 4 top front teeth. Whitening all others.
Voice: A challenge but I am working on it.
Walk: I have that down fine. I have been working with a video.

FFS.
I am thinking this will be split into 2 rounds of surgery separated by about 3 to 5 months.
The first will be the skull reshaping the second will be the fine work with what they call facial rejuvenation. I have seen some fantastic before and after shots on the Internet from racial rejuvenation clinics but I doubt these results are typical.

I have a most unfeminine face. It is the thing that gives me away most quickly. I am going to need brow, nose and chin reshaped. Nose to upper lip reduced and lips filled out.

Round 2 will be a facial rejuvenation and may include:
CO2 laser resurfacing of my face
eye lift
face lift
filling of the small creases running from my nose outside my mouth
liposuction under the chin
Other stuff as recommended at the time.

Dear Michelle,

What you have asked would take a book to answer properly.

There is much here on this website that will answer many of your questions in great detail. Try to do a little research on past threads. You will be rewarded.

In general, you have a lot of stuff on your plate and your tendancy to try to find answers to ALL of your questions before you begin might be a huge waste of your time, and ours also. Most of what you are asking is stuff that you should be exploring with a competant Gender Therapist. That's the first step in exploring the question about whether or not you should transition. That's a question that for now, has got to remain unanswered. Who knows? We don't. Spend some time in therapy.

If you are afraid to go out in women's clothes, how on earth can you ever transition? Transition means that you present to the world as a woman. So that's a start. You have got to become comfortable out and about as a woman.

46 is not that old, hon. Many of us would LOVE to be that young again. I know I would. Having enough money is a HUGE plus. What you are contemplating is expensive, and could easily cost you $50,000 to $75,000, perhaps more, in US funds. Of course you don't have to spend all that, but you have listed a lot of really expensive treatments.

SRS is perhaps the least of your concernes now. There is almost no need to have SRS in order to transition completely. You are right to leave that for now.

Hormones will effect your body shape very little. You have a feminine body now? You will after HRT. If you have a masculine body shape now, you will have a masculine body shape after HRT. You will most likely grow breasts. Some don't, but most of us do. How big? Who knows. Do it and see. That's the only way to know for sure. Some fat redistribution? Yup. How much? Who knows. Do it and see. You have GOT to have some fat to redistribute, and you should also be loosing weight. So where is the balance? I have almost NO excess body fat. That's the way I like it, most tall girls are rail thin, and I am tall. The down side is that I have NO butt or hips. So what? I live and work as a woman 24/7. If I were heavier, I am sure I would be growing some additional padding where it would be nice.

Can you see a patern here? Transition is an verb! What I mean by that is that you have to DO it. That's the only way to find out what will happen. It's also not permanent. That's the reason for the RLT. The year you spend living as a woman BEFORE SRS. You can ALWAYS change your mind before SRS. After that, of course, it's too late.

Yes, HRT will effect your sexuality. Whatever are you worrying about THAT for? In any case, discuss this with your gender therapist.

Orgasm is orgasm, hon. If you are orgasmic after SRS, I can say you will probably LOVE it. Some transwomen have trouble with orgasm just as some GGs have trouble with orgasm. You take your chances with this one. In the big picture, it seems to be pretty small potatoes.

Speaking as one who has had a great deal of experience (real experience, not fantasy experience) with the BDSM community and the CD/TG community, I can say with some degree of certainty, that you will probably loose most of your interest in BDSM after HRT. HRT therapy will take away most of your testosterone based sex drive. Testosterone of what fuels the sex drive in men. Just a fact of life, hon. Of course, YMMV, but I am basing this statement on some years of experience.

Whether or not you become a freak and an outcast has FAR more to do with how you act and communicate than with what you look like. Unless you expect to live a life based on outward apearances, stop worrying about this.

I can't possibly get into the details of your planned bodily transformation except to say that anything you decide NOW will change once you get started. Start, dear. That's what you need to do now. I will say that facial electrolysis is the single most important thing you can do to aid your transition. Start yesterday. And grow your hair. Wearing a wig is uncomfortable and not very convincing. Hair is important.

OK, 'nuff said. I was not trying to be dicouraging, dear. Just realistic.

Start electrolysis, start growing your hair, get a good gender therapist. Then start asking your questions here one at a time. It will be a lot easier to answer them singly instead of all at once.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[MichelleWentworth]

I have a very masculine face shape and figure. Because of this I am "read" very quickly and have had very poor experiences, including several acts of violance. (It is hard to fight back in heals, a corset and long nails.) Fortuantly my skin is quite good and there is much potential for improvement with CO2 laser etc.

My approach would be the stealth route. Be male 8 x 5 while I prepare myself for 24 x 7. Hormones, Laser body hair removal, electrolsis and growing my hair. (I still have to work while my share portfolio is in a growth orientation and my gearing levels are high.)

In 2 years the hormones will have done their work and hair on head, face and body will be right. At that time I will be ready for FFS and 24 x 7. I will be pleased if I have a passable voice in that time too. The voice will take that much practice.

SEXUAL MOTIVATION?
I have always been a very sexual person. I get this feeling that, in many people's opinion, 'gender identity' is a worthy reason to transition and that if this is mixed with sexual motivations things are less worthy. While I am happy to embrace change I want to remain sexually active one way or another. I would like to know what changes people have had.

WHO'S THAT GIRL?
After FFS some people report looking in the mirror and not recognising themselves for some time. I actually look forward to this experience though not out of slef lothing or anything negative.

[Stephenie S]

I have a very masculine face shape and figure. Because of this I am "read" very quickly and have had very poor experiences, including several acts of violance. (It is hard to fight back in heals, a corset and long nails.) Fortuantly my skin is quite good and there is much potential for improvement with CO2 laser etc.

Just a few questions, dear. Whatever are you doing going places where you are exposed to physical violence? Stay OUT of bars, and stay out of the seedy parts of town. A lady does not go to those places anyway. It's hard to imagine getting beaten for living a normal life. Going to the bank, the supermarket, the library, the mall, and so forth.

And heels? Leave 'em at home. GGs don't wear heels much. A corset? Leave that at home too. Nails? Cut 'em to a realistic length and keep them looking nice. If you can't work or live with them, they are too long. You may be getting "read" because of what you are wearing. Look around you. What are all the other girls wearing? Wear that. Going out in heels and a corset and nails that interfere with normal activity may be giving you away right there.

My approach would be the stealth route. Be male 8 x 5 while I prepare myself for 24 x 7. Hormones, Laser body hair removal, electrolsis and growing my hair. (I still have to work while my share portfolio is in a growth orientation and my gearing levels are high.)

Forget the body hair, hon. You can shave that. Concentrate on facial electrolysis, and developing a feminine hair style (you need to find a good hair stylist and start working on a nice hair style)

There is NO way you can determine WHAT effect HRT will have on your body without trying it.

Women work, dear. You have to work as a woman. What you have to do is get OUT there. Waiting for some magic moment just isn't gonna happen.

In 2 years the hormones will have done their work and hair on head, face and body will be right. At that time I will be ready for FFS and 24 x 7. I will be pleased if I have a passable voice in that time too. The voice will take that much practice.

There is no better way to develop a feminine voice than to be out there using it. This is something else that doesn't happen in a vacuum. Visit the Transexual Roadmap site for a much more realistic transition plan.

SEXUAL MOTIVATION?
I have always been a very sexual person. I get this feeling that, in many people's opinion, 'gender identity' is a worthy reason to transition and that if this is mixed with sexual motivations things are less worthy. While I am happy to embrace change I want to remain sexually active one way or another. I would like to know what changes people have had.

Read my post again.

WHO'S THAT GIRL?
After FFS some people report looking in the mirror and not recognising themselves for some time. I actually look forward to this experience though not out of slef lothing or anything negative.

FFS will not give you a new face, ala Hollywood movies. Will it give you a more feminine face? Yup! But you will recognise yourself, hon.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[melissaK]

Hmmm. A stray fact to add. Per writings of some therpists, many MTFs suffer great anxiety living M all the time. They learn the anxiety is relieved through orgasms. For relief they become focused upon orgasms, and find relief this way up to 5x a day. They can't imagine life without them.

What is misisng is they haven't experienced life without the anxiety. During HRT or RLT the anxiety diminishes. The big O becomes less necesary, even unecessary.

hugs,
'lissa

[Cara Allen]

LOL!!!!


I don't see what is funny about a older person wanting/needing to transition. The two of you need to back it off, or we are going to the wood shed, you and me.

As for your letter, Michelle, I wish you well. However, your letter seems strange to me. Almost like a shopping list...like you were getting your front lawn landscaped, and you needed this...and this...and this.

Perhaps it is because you can afford all of this? If you can, I think you should fall down on your knees and thank God, because if you are transsexual, you are one of the extremely rare ones who stand the best chance of becoming yourself. If you are not transsexual, you stand to become one of those real head turners who go m MtoF, and then go back again, FtoM. They are just totally confusing, and confused.

Better be sure, honey, and good luck.

[Genifer Teal]

The best answer I was given to this question is - only do it if there is no other alternative. My feeling is that I'd certainly prefer to be a girl, but I can deal with being a guy some of the time. The road I curently travel is far easier than the one I'd take if I transitioned. Transitioning is something I'd like but don't absolutely need.


We each must make our own decision.

Gen