suzannecarr
11-11-2007, 01:45 AM
[COLOR="magenta"][COLOR="magenta"]well girls, squirrels, armchair life advisors, etc,etc. , i havent posted anything in a while except a notice to all dallas girls(or surrounding areas) that i would be there for about a week in february (4-7th with a hotel room and anyone interested in meeting can pm me) but anyway, this is whats been going on in my life since i last posted! if you can remember i was the one who had taken some hormones without telling my wife and everyone got their panties in a wad about it, although she already knew a good bit of my other side she didnt know about that particular thing! anyway in the months since i ve found out that my mom took a drug called tapazol in her first and early 2nd trimesters of pregnancy with me! this drug is a thyroid medication that was and is used to treat hyper thyroidism it was given to her in the absence of knowledge that she was pregnant , then when they found out they immediately stopped the drug, it is highly recommended that it not be used by pregnant or nursing mothers now, and possibly then too! i was born in 1968 and ultrasound exams were uncommon if not nonexistent then. anyway i found out that their was an "irregularity" when i was born, i am still investigating as she has never been (,and now is no exception) completely forthright about these things to me! she caught me numerous times dressing, i always felt or was made to feel guilty about these things! since ive spoken to her, ive shaved my legs(keeping them that way) my wife knows everything and although she is scared( i am too!) she is accepting that these things are not my fault, if they could be anyway, but truly if what happened is fact! i have no reason to feel guilty and anyone from this point can kiss my :spank: so, anyway, i have pierced my ears, shaved soooooo much! btw keeping your legs shaved is a real mentally feminizing uplifting situation, i love it! so as you might expect ive been going out more, and i have kind of a this is me i dont care what you think attitude, and it seems to work well for me! confidence seems to help me be even more passable, and talking to girls, seems to loosen them up and i think alot of times after i walk off if they do have doubts they probably think to themself, naaaaaahh, she talks too much like a girl, cuz i could talk all day about foundation , pure minerals, hair, shoes,jewelry, clothing, well you get the pic! its just plain cool to me! ive been sharing letters with cara , from this forum, and she is really great, sweet and we seem to hit it off, because we are honest with each other ,but in a way that is more sisterly than anything! we never try to verbally abuse each other or anything like that , its all about support as we are both heavily considering transitioning! my wife and i will probably not be together for any length of time, she is much more accepting now that she knows about what happened to me as a fetus ( although i am still gathering the facts myself) she has really placed herself in my position and says that actually ive tried really hard to be a man, and i must feel strongly that i am not to go through what i go through! and we all know it would be easier just to conform to societies rules but sometimes they just dont fit! well , this is just some of the things that ive been through ( if anybody even cares ) but , one key ingredient to my depression that stirred the pot for many , many years is really going away! guilt! i almost completely have climbed that mountain, although i am now attacking something else too, ive been told that one of the main ingredients to tg, ts, cd. depression is homophobia, it is not only taught to the racist, neo nazi haters, it is taught to some degree to a high percentage of humanity, and when i go to dallas i am going to really began to tear that down inside myself , i am seeing a tg specializing psychologist, and that is a big step as far as finding out what i want, need, and have to do in order to finish out my life being able to look in the mirror and be proud of what i see, and feel both to the eye and to the heart!, so, i hope i didnt bore you, and if ive done anything wrong all you armchair advisors, please spin the barrel around, cuz i know its alll loaded and full! one thing you might want to think about though is, that whole attitude ive spoken about , although ive gotten some good laughs before from comments , i guess i am as the title says, a glutton for punishment, and also , a good laugh or two, anyway , as for the caring supportive girls on here, ive always appreciated it, and their have always been at least a few on every post ive made, so , anyway, fire away, suzanne:love::Party2::Playnice::la::bye: