Does it all get too much sometimes ?

[Suzy Harrison]

Does anybody feel like me that sometimes it's very hard living as two people and keeping your two lives seperate?

As an example, over the last 8 days I've spent 4 of them enfemme. Then on Friday I had to go back to work. My first task was to train half a dozen male technicians - basically giving a speech for an hour.

While I find it easy to talk to girls, I don't feel comfortable around guys.
Not only that after spending so long en-femme I find it difficult to be male again. I'm sure some mannerisms spill over.

The thought that kept running through my mind over and over during that hour was - am I passing okay as a guy......

[christina marie]

have always been more comfortable with women. dont do the "guy act" very well myself.

[ErikaLeigh]

I agree, I have always felt more comfortable around women. I have to say the thing that seems to be too much for me is that I cant dress as much as I want too. I wish I could spend a week enfemme, let alone 4 years. WOW Suzy it must have been hard to re-adjust.

[TerriM]

I can relate to what you are saying. I have been going out dressed since 1977. During that time I raised 5 children, worked two jobs most of the time and did all the manly things. But I also managed, sometimes not easily, to control my femme side. A long time ago, when I felt I couldnt take it anymore, I almost did something stupid. Im glad I didnt.
I work at a job where there are almost all men. I find myself finding it harder to put up with some of their macho attitudes. I recently came back from a 4 day enfemme getaway and found my self getting depressed over work. But what I do is just dream about the next time I will be able to get out enfemme.
Yours Terri

[Suzy Harrison]

I agree, I have always felt more comfortable around women. I have to say the thing that seems to be too much for me is that I cant dress as much as I want too. I wish I could spend a week enfemme, let alone 4 years. WOW Suzy it must have been hard to re-adjust.

4 days darling, not 4 years. If I spent 4 years I've never come back !

[Rita B]

Does anybody feel like me that sometimes it's very hard living as two people and keeping your two lives seperate?

As an example, over the last 8 days I've spent 4 of them enfemme. Then on Friday I had to go back to work. My first task was to train half a dozen male technicians - basically giving a speech for an hour.

While I find it easy to talk to girls, I don't feel comfortable around guys.
Not only that after spending so long en-femme I find it difficult to be male again. I'm sure some mannerisms spill over.

The thought that kept running through my mind over and over during that hour was - am I passing okay as a guy......A long time ago I shared an apartment with a serious pre-op transsexual. She was already living full time as a woman. I, on the other hand was not which meant that everyday when I got home from work I would change into femme mode, make up clothes etc. It did wear me down after a while and might have contributed to my giving it all up and having a big purge. There were other factors involved, but that might be one of them.

Now, I limit myself to a couple of nights out a month per an understanding with my wife and it seems to work out fine. She will be joining me soon in some of the TG activities which will make it even more fun.

[Rita B]

Yes it does happen. You become so wrapped in your femme mode that even when you're not dressed you're still in femme mode. Example: I am sitting in church and I am always careful to keep my knees together when sitting rather than spread out like guys do. I kneel very straight as if I was carrying a set of boobies in front of me. ( I swear I can feel my bras straps tugging even when I am not wearing a bra. How weird is that?). Even in drab, I feel like a woman.

[Marla S]

Does anybody feel like me that sometimes it's very hard living as two people and keeping your two lives seperate?
Yes. I think this is one reason why I feel happy with my "mixed mode" that I can maintain all the time.
Hard enough to deal with one person:heehee:

[Jennifer in CO]

Does anybody feel like me that sometimes it's very hard living as two people and keeping your two lives seperate?....

......Not only that, after spending so long en-femme I find it difficult to be male again. I'm sure some mannerisms spill over.

The thought that kept running through my mind over and over during that hour was - am I passing okay as a guy......

Back when I was jumping back and forth across the fence, I too would ask myself that same question. Did I forget anything? Did I put something on out of habit I shouldn't have on as a guy?
Many times, that first day or 2 "back" I'd notice I was sweeping my hand under my rear when I sat down... smoothing that invisible skirt. Or checking my "makeup" after using the toilet. Or, usually only the first day, I'd realize I had put on perfume after my shower instead of colone. That is when you have to ask yourself, am I on the right side of the fence anymore? It was that very question that prompted me to begin to dress full time. Jeans/slacks, t-shirts and simple pull over tops and polo's and usually tennis shoes were my attire at the time anyway, and ladies wear can be "drab" as any, so I decided to go "full time" fem-wear.

Now (almost 25 years later), I dont wear makeup much anymore so thats not an issue. I dont wear skirts but once in a coons age, and the last time I wore a dress was maybe 4 years ago and that was out to a fancy dinner with my wife....dang, I sound just like a middle-aged woman.

I have decided to just be me, and if people around me can't deal with a few "oddities", then I can't deal with theirs either.

living life in MY lane....

Jenn

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Yes it does happen. You become so wrapped in your femme mode that even when you're not dressed you're still in femme mode. Example: I am sitting in church and I am always careful to keep my knees together when sitting rather than spread out like guys do. I kneel very straight as if I was carrying a set of boobies in front of me. ( I swear I can feel my bras straps tugging even when I am not wearing a bra. How weird is that?). Even in drab, I feel like a woman.

This happens to me as well. I have to remind myself not to cross my legs in male mode. Make sure I walk like a guy, and not get suckered into talking about clothes or make up when I here GG's talking about them as well. I also am starting to feel like I'm still en-femme mode as well when I am out of the house.

[Sherlyn]

Im just wondering you all say your mannerisms spill over ...maybe they always did ..but NOW you are more aware of them ....no worries !!! you made it this far ...continue .....:)

[Michelia]

I just wear my skirts around the house and let my hair down and might put on a pair of heels. I get to be made up and all about once a month if lucky. And I still find it hard. Lately my little boy of 7 has become friends with a neighbor and I am so happy for him. But they are in and out of the house, so I am not even getting to wear my skirts (sigh). I might end up instituting a couple of "family days" a week where it is just us doing things together. Maybe on one of those days I will still dress up.

Michelia

[Karren H]

I get "burnt out after 3 of 4 days straight or in a row.... It's hard work looking pretty... probably like if I played ice hiockey everyday for 4 days I'd be whipped too.....

It's called "Too much of a good thing"

[Kate Simmons]

Not really Suzy. These days I'm just one person. I just dress differently sometimes, that's all.:happy:

[Tasha T]

Does anybody feel like me that sometimes it's very hard living as two people and keeping your two lives seperate?

Yes, it gets to be a bit much sometimes. In addition to switching back and forth between male and female, I am juggling other separate type lives that ad to the mental strain. Having only two to go back and forth between would be a nice change of pace.

[Jan W]

Hi Suzy.

Like some of the other girls I have had to think carefully at times so as not to give the game away.

Our two lives are sometimes a gift and sometimes a worry.

Keeping them separate is almost an impossibility when 'she' is never far from mind.


Jan

[teresa jeen]

i try and wear as much fem clothes as the situation allows. just the other day with garters and stockings a camisol for holloween what a thrill.

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks, everyone! You've made my closet feel a lot more comfortable.
RS

[Karen A]

I like having two personalities; I don’t think I could be either one all the time. I find it relaxing to come home and transform, I just wish it didn’t take so long. But getting dressed is half the fun.

I know what you mean about being more comfortable around women. I always got along better with my friends wives then with them (had to be careful with that but never had a problem).

[TxKimberly]

Yes, sometimes it's VERY hard. About once every six months or so you will see a post on here where I was clearly depressed and bummed out. That usually happens when things get to be just a bit much for me. The good news is that is the time that it comes in handy having lots of friends here that know where the pain and confusion are coming from. :-)

[Charleen]

I'm with Marla and Salandra on this one. It's taken a while, but I've kind of intergrated. At work, I'm Charlie. Maybe a little effeminate as my nails are long and polished, mascara at all times, long hair, hoop earrings in my pierced ears, but guy clothes. Off work, like today, gal jeans, boots, blouse, eye shadow, lip gloss, as well as the mascara, pink nail polish, and fancy large hoops in the ears.
The thing is for me is that I'm me and just dress for the occasion.
Love and xxxx, Lily

[Tammy298]

I've never gone out dressed up but i do panties 24/7 and stocking occasionally. I do find myself adjusting an unruly pair of panties at times and I've even caught myself fidgeting wit a garter on several occasions. A few times I stopped fidgeting so suddenly my wife asked me what was wrong as I looked around suddenly to see if anyone noticed. Too embarrassed to even say anything to wife about playing with the garter or stocking top under my pants even though she knows and like when I wear them, I'd just make up so excuse for 'jumping' or looking around!

I did find it interesting that other like me, find themselves more comfortable around woman then men. This is something that I've always been more comfortable with either in a family (relatives or in-laws) or social setting. In the past I've never considered this as part of the reason I enjoy or feel the need to crossdress. I always considered it as an attraction to females, although maybe a bit strange when around relatives. I just don't have many male friends and find it difficult to bond with males like other guys I know. I really never considered this as part of my attraction toward women. (Sitting here now at the computer wondering whether this may have answered/solved something I've been wondering about for decades!:happy:)

[Suzy Harrison]

Kimberley -
I feel for you Kim as I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I feel so elated about being 'me' and sometimes it makes me feel just so awful.

Tammy
I'm the same. I'd feel very comfortable training a group of 20 (female) nurses - but trying to do the same to 3 guys makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't fit in with their mindset. The other week when I was training those guys ,it was as if I was trying to pass myself off as a guy too - It was as if Suzy was pretending she was a guy...maybe I'm going nuts... ! - that's why it just gets too much sometimes....................

I'll tell you the next time around, I'm make sure I ask to be female again and not male like this time - what was I thinking ?
(I'm talking about my other favourite subject - reincarnation)

[Rita B]

Oh Dear Suzy, been there, done that. Playing a dual role can be so very trying on the old psyche. I reached that point a very long time ago. I was on the verge of a complete meltdown over it. Felt like I had to choose on or the other, that I could no longer live both lives. So I opted to live as "Richard" only and purged a fantastic wardrobe. All I can say is that I made the wrong choice!

[Rita B]

I also feel very comfortable around women. I get along with the guys at work but I wouldn't hang around with them. This feeling of being comfortable with women, imho, is a strong indicator of a feminine gender trait. I honestly believe that genetic women prefer the company of other women and only use men to lug in the groceries and take out the garbage and other such "mundane" tasks. . . . .

[Tammy298]

Kimberley -
I feel for you Kim as I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I feel so elated about being 'me' and sometimes it makes me feel just so awful.

Tammy
I'm the same. I'd feel very comfortable training a group of 20 (female) nurses - but trying to do the same to 3 guys makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't fit in with their mindset. The other week when I was training those guys ,it was as if I was trying to pass myself off as a guy too - It was as if Suzy was pretending she was a guy...maybe I'm going nuts... ! - that's why it just gets too much sometimes....................

I'll tell you the next time around, I'm make sure I ask to be female again and not male like this time - what was I thinking ?
(I'm talking about my other favourite subject - reincarnation)

Suzy,

I don't think you or any of use are nuts. I think we're all very luck to experience things as a CD that we would otherwise never imagine! :2c: