Crossdressing and privacy in general

[cdlaura2007]

I've been wondering about something lately and wanted to run this past everybody here. Before I get to my question I should say that I'm still definitely in the closet with my dressing. I've told two people in my life about it - my wife and a former girlfriend from college.

Because of that, I obviously have a very important part of my life that I keep as a secret. What I'm wondering about is if this somehow influences my views of privacy in other parts of my life. For example, the only store reward cards I use are ones I've found when I was out running, my wife and I have one credit card in her name that we have used 8 times in two years and pay cash for everything, and I'm definitely uncomfortable with things such as warrantless wiretapping, etc.

A lot of my friends joke and say I'm paranoid, but I was wondering if this concern about privacy is just an extension of what I've just gotten used to doing since I was very young - protect a very private part of my life. Is anybody else like this?

[jazmine]

I don't purposely push my crossdressing in people's faces,, especially the macho-asses that would most likely harm me. I'm still in the closet so to speak. My wife , an ex and a female friend know. But I will buy woman things with my credit card, or bank account through paypal. I'm not paranoid like I use to be. I even have the OneHanesPlace catalogue come to my house in my guy name. This Friday my neighbor just found out I wear pantyhose(by accident...see my post on it). I guess , that the government most likely knows i'm a crossdresser. And any person could probably figure out I crossdress if they research the "paper trail". But I'm at the point in my life, that if someone calls me out on it,, i'm probably sure to say...."YEAH! so what!........are you going to kill me now!"

[Joni T]

Sounds a bit paranoid to me too.

Maybe you need to slow down a little and smell the flowers and taste the water.

[Kate Simmons]

As much as they tout privacy and the privacy act, "Big Brother" is always watching and listening. Do they know who we are? Probably. Do they care? Probably not. NSA monitors all communicatiuons via the super Cray computers. They are set up to hone in on any key words and phrases that may be considered to be a threat to National security and the context of communications is then analyzed. In that respect privacy is relative in this day and age but unless dressing up makes us some kind of potential threat, we have very little to worry about. Just a fact of life in this crazy modern world we live in.:happy:

[Blonde]

Any people who give up a little liberty for a little security, deserve niether and recieves none.(A qoute from one of America's greatest "war time" presidents)

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean that they are not out to get you.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I was very and in many was still is paranoid as far as hiding my dressing. Over time this just became too much of burden on me to try and hide this. It soon came to the point where all I could think about was trying to hide this part of me. What made it difficult was the more I tried hiding my femme side, the stronger it became and eventually it all blew up in my face, and I ended up accidentaly outting myself. Jocelyn

[pamela_a]

Now to the privacy issue. Do you work and have a Social Security (national identification) number? Do you pay taxes? What about a drivers license? Schools have records of you as well as any time you have been to a hospital. Odds are the government knows more about you than you know about yourself. Odds are just as good that nobody cares.

UNLESS you are doing something illegal or threatening why worry about it. Now if you really want to worry about having your privacy and rights stripped from you, light a cigarette.

If you are worried about hiding your dressing, you are doing that for yours or your families concerns. IMHO and with exceptions, the fear is self induced. Does the person at the service station or the people in the mall really care what you wear (as long as you are covered of course)? At most you will be a blip on the radar and someone may mention it to someone else at some time they saw a CD.

-Paula-

[Karren H]

Well sounds like your parinoid about life and crossdressing just exaserbates your problem.. Personally I could care less about who knows what about me.. As long as they don't steal my credit card and bank account.. I shred my important documents and take enough precautions to not let the criminal element rob me blind..

Other than that, lifes not worth living if ya have to be that paranoid that big brother is watching IMHO.. I could care less!! Let him watch.. He might like seeing my new dress!! Hahahaha

Karren

[docrobbysherry]

Well sounds like your parinoid about life and crossdressing just exaserbates your problem.. Personally I could care less about who knows what about me.. As long as they don't steal my credit card and bank account.. I shred my important documents and take enough precautions to not let the criminal element rob me blind..

Other than that, lifes not worth living if ya have to be that paranoid that big brother is watching IMHO.. I could care less!! Let him watch.. He might like seeing my new dress!! Hahahaha

Karren

Nice attitude on life, Karen. If we all thought like u, we would; all come out of our closets, get to airports 1/2 before our flights, and Americans would be back traveling all over the world like they did pre-9/11.
Instead, I, ( we), worry about what the effects of our dressing would be on our families.
People wouldn't be flying at all again if there wasn't a tedious pre-flight proceedure to make them feel safe. They aren't the world travelers they were before 9/11.
Especially after reading Paula's list! Which I would show to my daughter now, except I know what she would say. " What do any of those distant events have to do with us in California?"
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Marla S]

Politics aside, I don't use credit cards and stuff either.
Who does profit from it ?

Marketing research
Companies dealing with addresses
Advertising industry
Banks
(yep police too if they think it's important)
etc.

What do I get for it ?
a full letter box
advertising calls
etc.

Do I have something to hide ? No.
Is it anybodies business what, when, where I shop and how much I spend ? No. So why should someone have my data ?
Has this anything to do with CDing ? No.
Am I paranoid ? No.
But why should I make the data industry a gift, I don't get anything useful from them either.

[Shelly Preston]

Some of you returning to this thread will find you posts deleted

This is a thread about privacy

No politcal comments are allowed

[Nicole Erin]

It sounds like you may be over paranoid. Unless you commit a serious crime, no one is going to care what you were buying. No one is going to ask if the skirt and blouse was for you.

I do not talk a lot about my CD'ing, but I have no problems buying my femme things.

[Stefanie_in_Mt]

I am sure big brother is watching... but I like what Jazmine said.. what ya gonna do kill me for wearing fem clothes NOT

[Karren H]

See even your posts are not safe any more.... run away to your bunkers and hide!!! I'll be at the mall shopping!! hahahaha

[MonikaW]

I am concerned about my privacy too, but I'm not paranoid about it. I am concerned about some of the issues raised such as the warrantless searches and such, but I don't lose any sleep over it. I just live my life and use what I consider to be a prudent sense of caution. Many but not all of my friends know about my dressing. I'm not ashamed of being a crossdresser; however, I don't feel that everyone needs to know everything about me either. I am truly only concerned about my parents knowing - they would freak out and at their age there really is no need to upset them, and my godson who is just too young to understand. Anyone else, I really don't care if they do or do not know. In the end, it's not anyones business but my own.

[louann]

Well, if your wife is cool with your dressing I don't see why you are worried about it anyway. Even if someone finds out you crossdress, who cares and besides, how did they find out anyway. If you tell limited people I don't think anyone really really important is going to find out and i will assume the only people that will hurt is job related.

... yes it's being a little paranoid girl :D

I have been dressing and going out, being on the internet and I still have a private life in male mode. no one will ever put 2 and 2 together to get louann.

[sissystephanie]

First of all, how can anyone say they that they are in the closet and then go on to say that "only" their wife and ex-girl friend know? My friend, you are definitely not in the closet!

As for the other things, yes, I would classify you as being paranoid. Sure the government knows a lot about you. Because you told them! You filled out papers for all kinds of things, and alot of that winds up in government files. If you think that it is all being looked at all the time, you really do have a problem. As for the NSA listening in on all types of messages and phone calls, that is an urban myth. Even the Super Cray Computers don't have that capability, nor does the NSA have the human resources to use the info. Plus we still do have privacy laws in this country!! As a Life and Health Insurance Agent I have to be very much aware of privacy laws, and they are pretty darn strict!

And finally, as the lovely Karren say, WHO CARES!! Live YOUR life, and let others do the worrying.:happy:

Sissy/Stephanie

More Girl than man sometimes

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with you Stephanie as far as not worrying about it. I do know the capabilities of NSA though as I used to be associated with them. The intention was clear, however, when the Office of Homeland Security was first set up and I downloaded the proposed Charter to prove it. Whether Congress actually allowed them that power or not in the name of security is anyone's guess. I was just pointing out that we are not always assured our rights or our privacy no matter what they tell us.:happy:

[Littlej10]

You are registered at birth and the thread starts there. Everything you do is traceable if someone wants to take the trouble so grab the conveniences of life, dress and have fun. Life is too short and uncertain so drink wine, eat cake, dress and live a little.

[rickie121x]

One day I "Googled" my name and found that anyone who also went there could easily see that I "dabble" in the world of female clothing. Ok. So now the world knows or can know, if they wish to know, that I seriously interact with female clothing - and hormomes - and BDSM - and model airplanes, and finding a woman who can put up with crossdressers.

Has their knowing affected me? Well, well not at all - up to this point in time. Well, not that I know of, anyway. Way, waaaaay back, when I was looking for jobs, thank god there was no Google!

But today, I really worry that my next door neighbor will find out that I cross-dress and I take careful precautions that they will not know. Actually, they probably really do know already, but I still "worry" and am not free to just simply dress when and how I want to. My mind tells me that I will be ridiculed, rejected, will probably be beaten up.... and my life will go down the drain when and if they find out....

The whole issue is not well put together in my mind, and I remain befuddled on the whole subject - on the other hand I am still safe (In my own mind...) and getting what I am getting: That is not being able to dress as I wish, and full of worry when I do dress.

Befuddled and not clearly directed... wishing to feel the freedom as seems my heroine KarenHutton... rickie :o

[Emily Ann Brown]

OMGosh !!!!!!

You mean the government knows I am wearing panties and a cami right now???? Oh how will I ever survive?????

Whatever...I'm not getting out of here alive anyhow. As long as I can keep identity thieves and the EX out of my bank accounts then let's enjoy life and go shopping. Karren, save me a parking place near the shoe store !


Emily Ann

[Karren H]

OMGosh !!!!!!

Whatever...I'm not getting out of here alive anyhow. As long as I can keep identity thieves and the EX out of my bank accounts then let's enjoy life and go shopping. Karren, save me a parking place near the shoe store !


Emily Ann

Well of coarse I will save you a nice safe and secure parking spot ... How anout the little shoestore in Blacksburg? Only an hour drive from where I am right now!! Lol

[Nicole Erin]

OMGosh !!!!!!

You mean the government knows I am wearing panties and a cami right now???? Oh how will I ever survive?????
Emily Ann HAHAHAHHAAHAHH!

YES! they know! :eek: [eerie music] And they are watching you right now thru binoculars. Holding them with one hand....

Ehh nevermind, don't ask....:tongueout

[susie evans]

with all this spying going on i better head for the mall and make up for lost time :heehee::heehee:

susie

[cdlaura2007]

Thanks for the responses everybody. Just wanted to clarify a few things that I don't think were clear from my original post.

First, as a former Oracle DBA, I'm well aware that anything we do electronically is not private. Another example is my wife who runs a DNS server where she works and can tell you what web pages any particular person in the company has visited. The RIAA and MPAA have also proven many times that nothing we do on the internet is truly private as well.

Our primary reason for not using credit cards(except to buy plane tickets and stuff like that) is actually to cut costs since we didn't keep track of what we were buying and were getting hit with large bills at the end of the month. The privacy freak in me sees other benefits to this as well.

I guess there were two points/questions I was wondering about with this. The first was how living with such a big secret has affected other areas of your life. I know some of you are more open about it with others around you, although I assume you weren't always as open about crossdressing at some point in the past.

The second thing was what Jocelyn was referring to earlier. Over the past 1 - 2 years, I've found myself getting more and more tired and burned out of trying to hide this. There have been several situations that have happened in the past year where I would just loved to have told the person I was talking to about this. So, I was also wondering if anybody else feels this way sometimes too. When I go on business trips, I shop in male mode without caring about who sees me or what they think and it's so refreshing. Unfortunately, with my family and work situation being this open where I live is not an option.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Laura, OK I'll try to leave out the political stuff but it seemed like the thread was turning a bit political. In a way,I don't care who knows about my dressing. I would wear female clothing all the time but at this time in my life I'm not in a position to do so. I've come out to a lot of people and some of them are surprised and happily interested in all this. Others tell me that I don't look like a woman and that they want to be freinds but they'll drop the subject if I will. I usually drop the subject no problem because it would be pushy and obnoxious to press the point beyond what that person is amenable to. A couple of times when I was much younger I got a little bit irritable with one or two people who I was coming out to because I felt like there were glitchy little harmless abnormalities or foopahs and things about them that I was being magnanimous in tolerating and I thought they should be tolerant of me in return. Brilliant thinking of course. One time at this place in a town where I lived about 3 years ago about 15 people found out that I had been surfing menus of "crossdresser" stuff,crossdresser.com,etc. on the house computers and they all became sort of cold towards me but they weren't violent and more than anything I think that some of them were really just nervous and were still my freinds like the guy who asked me after I was on the computer for half an hour if I was "talking to my freinds". I was kinda careful to stay in the closet most of the time in the school districts where my nephew was a student. Samantha