What would you do?

[Sarahlee]

Hi all. I am new here. I love reading all the posts. You all seem happy. I have been on and off cross dressing sence I was 15. I am now 37 and married. My wife does not approve or want me doing it. But I can't fight it anymore. It drive me crazy. If I could I would dress all the time. I don't think I would even own mens clothes. So I ask, what would you do? I love my wife, but I can't fight this feeling anymore!!! Posting here so I can talk to others about it.

[Ruth]

I'm not in your position - my wife knows about the CDing and is OK with it. But I know that the CDing is not something that is going to go away. I think the way forward is to get some kind of discussion going with your wife - possibly with a counsellor as a mediator - and see if you can get across the idea that your CDing is essential to you but not necessarily destructive to your relationship. I wish you all the best.

[Shelly Preston]

Sarah you have not said how often you dress now

This will affect any judgement or advice here

The main thing is you need to come to some sort of arrangement with your wife about how often you dress

Often the thought of dressing 24/7 is something which is easy to say but hard to do

[Sally24]

Sometimes even just dressing for yourself at home can be enough. How about Sarahlee gets her own room and you restrict your clothes and dressing to that area? Others only dress a few times a year when they can go to a convention/gathering/event. You have to try to work out something that will not threaten your marraige but will save your sanity. As most others note, this will not go away, it is a part of you.

Good Luck!

[kim85]

Hi all. I am new here. I love reading all the posts. You all seem happy. I have been on and off cross dressing sence I was 15. I am now 37 and married. My wife does not approve or want me doing it. But I can't fight it anymore. It drive me crazy. If I could I would dress all the time. I don't think I would even own mens clothes. So I ask, what would you do? I love my wife, but I can't fight this feeling anymore!!! Posting here so I can talk to others about it.

Sorry to hear that your so doesnt want to know about this side of you. In your post you dont mention how long you have been together or how long your wife has known. I think that a "normal" reaction to finding out is omg i dont want to know. Maybe within time she could gradually come to terms with it dont forgot that you have had since you were 15 to adjust to it she hasnt had as long. Its scary to find out that the person your with isnt who you thought they were ... im not trying to say your wrong or have a go its just another point of view.
A few of the first things that went through my mind was is he gay..... will he want to go all the way oneday its a scary thought that you may love the one the love and fear is a powerful emotion.
Councilling is an option i would suggest an other is not fantasic but is a way round it but to arrange certain nites/times when she can go out and you can dress. Like i said its not idea but its a compremise that might work.

hopefully everything will work out for you

Kim
xxx

[DonnaT]

My wife does not approve or want me to do it either. That does not mean I can't. In fact I dress a bit every day.

I've had the long talks with her, and she knows it's not going away.

We've reached a compromise that seems we can both deal with.

So, all I can say is, talk to her. Let her know how you feel, and how it's affecting you. Don't dismiss her feelings either. Work out a compromise.

[SandyR]

Every couple is different. The extreme is Divorce, to not only deals with it, but loves the fact the you look good in a Skirt. The best advice I can give is take it at her pace, chill your heels and and be prepared to make "the gives and takes".

Best wishes, and a big hug!

SandyR

[jaina]

Hi all. I am new here. I love reading all the posts. You all seem happy. I have been on and off cross dressing sence I was 15. I am now 37 and married. My wife does not approve or want me doing it. But I can't fight it anymore. It drive me crazy. If I could I would dress all the time. I don't think I would even own mens clothes. So I ask, what would you do? I love my wife, but I can't fight this feeling anymore!!! Posting here so I can talk to others about it.


What would I do?
I'd leave and find someone that would love me for me, and dress all the time. Life is to short to spend it with someone that doesn't accept you.

[teresa jeen]

i am a loving and caring husband of 7 going on35 yrs. my wife is so lucky that i am so willing to let her and the grand daughter go to maw in laws on most any drop of the hat that comes along!!!!!!!! groundhog new years eve and all you can come up with. maybe a thing to do is come to an agreement,youll go to a hotel and do your thing. after awhile maybe shell come around. who knows the answer to this one?

[missynicole]

i agree with sandy, be prepared to make the compromises...three things will last forever, faith,hope and love and love is the greatest of these....

[Sarahlee]

Thanks for all the replys. A lot of good points. Let me tell some more. First I don't dress often and have never fully dressed. I don't have wigs or breasts. I just wear a skirt, nylons, panties and a blouse when I can. I have spoken to my wife several times and have decided it is not a battle worth ending a marriage over. So I look forward to those times when she is away for a few hours or an evening. We have been married for 10 years and we have an adopted son so I do not want to compromise that. Another point is we are christian (Her more devout then me), and she truly beleives it is not god like to dress in womans clothing, I really disagree. I feel comfortable, and femine and sexy when dressed and I don't think that is a sin. It is not like I am bi sexual and dress to be with men. I just like the feeling in woman's clothes. I will admit that I have thought about what it would be like to be with a man while dressed but I imagine most are curious. But I just wouldn't do it. I just like to be dressed. Anyway, I think this forum will help me talk and atleast come to a place that I can except things the way they are. I look forward to hearing more. Love to all!!!

[Samantha B L]

Hi SarahLee,How did your wife find out you dress? Did she figure it out on her own over time or was there a time when you tried to tell her hoping that she would understand? I guess that if I were you I would look for times and places to dress where I was either by myself or with other CD's. It's not so dishonest since your wife knows already anyway and what's done is done. But it's very commendable that you don't want to reck your marraige and you want to keep a good home for your son. I would dress 24/7 if I had time and a way but I just can't for reasons which would sound like a boring soap opera if I went into them. And I think all of us have our times when we're in drab and we want to just tear off the male clothes and go get a complete fem makeover with a sequined evening gown and a long haired wig. I could tell some funny stories about that. I was on a family vacation once in London of all places and we were on a tour bus that went all over central London. It went to Belgravia,Regent Street and it passed a lot of cool LGBT hangouts in like Earl's Court. I knew what all those places were from magazine reading and I had to sit and suffer. there's was no way that I could get out of the bus and go into any of those places because I was with my Mom,Sister,and my Nephew. But I'm getting away from the subject. I hope things work out,Sarah,but I can understand you being cautious about your marriage.

All the Best, Hugs, Samantha

[Angie G]

Can't say what to do hun but maybe some help from a pro.
If she knws it's not going to hurt anybody and it ain't going nowere she my ligthen up :hugs:
Angie

[sterling12]

Yes, some counseling seems appropriate. Even if you eventually decide that you can't live with the situation and seek divorce, you will have done the right thing and tried to work it out.

But be very careful. You didn't say, but I'll assume you folks are Fundamentalists. DO NOT SEEK help from counselors affiliated with Fundamentalist Beliefs. USUALLY, they want to "cure" you via prayer and believe that CD can be extinguished with the proper amount of Faith.
If that were the case, you and your wife will end up even more frustrated and confused.

Peace and Love, Joanie