A Little Advice Needed.

[Dawn Marie]

My wife knows I use to dress, but now she thinks I don't anymore. I have messed up two previous marriages due to my dressing and I don't want to screw this one up. She has mentioned in the past if I would like to seek some
counseling for this. And right now I am at the point that I think I need it. But how do I bring it up to her now?
There was a time just before I met her that I dressed 24/7 for almost 2 years, when I had a female roommate. Those were happy times and memories for me. And now I am getting those feelings again, to be who I really am inside. What should I do?

P.S. I just found this sight a week ago, wish I would have know about it a year ago. Love the different threads. Sometimes I just need someone who understands what I going thru to talk to.

[Brenda1423]

I understand what you're going through. My wife is totaly against my dressing. If she ever caught me, I'd be alone. At my age, I guess I'll just have to put up with it. She wouldn't go to counseling.

As for the counseling, just mention that you'd like to go. Why be unhappy with things as they are. Counseling might help HER to see that there's nothing wrong with your dressing. It would be great if it worked out that way, and there's a good chance that it would. I wish you the best.

[DonnaT]

Just tell her. "Honey, I'm getting those urges again. It may be time to see a counselor."

{Later}

"What did the counselor tell you?"

"S/he told me it would never go away. That we should work out a compromise where I can indulge in my need. Or else it may affect my mental stability."

[AllieSF]

All good advice. Find a qualified counselor, set up an appointment and then you have 2 options. One is to go alone and see how the counselor is and what is recommended to convince your wife to come, or just let your wife know that you have an appointment. She can come or wait a few sessions until you are comfortable and the counselor knows enough about your situation to be able to explain it to your wife. To get your wife to at least understand, you need to be open and honest with her. Communication is the key. Good luck, and yes, definitely see a counselor.

[il.dso]

I am in a very similiar situation.
I love my wife, told her about my crossdressing before we got married. Now, with work and kids, we never really have time to discuss my urges and desires. I feel closeted again and afraid to get "caught."
I wish I had some advice for you. Hope you get some relief from know that others out there struggle with the same issues.
If you get any insights, please share them!

[Ruth]

If your wife mentioned counselling I think you are in a good position relative to some here. It means at least she thinks there is an issue that can be talked out. You don't need to go together at first, but at some point your wife will have to be convinced that the counsellor is a good person and is steering you the right way.
Just get started on this and I think things will get better.

[docrobbysherry]

Set up an appointment with a qualified, licensed therapist. Tell your wife about it and go alone. In my experience, u will talk very little about your CDing, as that is not usually considered a problem, unless u obsess about it to the extreme. The rest of your time will be spent discussing your relationship, etc. I suspect, after a visit or two, he/she will want to see both u and your wife together. I think u will both benefit from this, as it easier to talk in front of a therapist, than alone. I went to a couple when I was married. It was VERY beneficial. I'm divorced now. My CDing wasn't even the tiniest bit of our problem! Good luck, I hope it works out for u!
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Raychel]

If your wife alraedy know that you used to crossdress, then it seems like you are half way there. Just simply talk to her and tell her that you are getting the urge to dress again. Talk it out woth her and let her call the shots. She may just meet you half way and allow you dressing time. If not at least you will know where she stands on the subject. Then later on if necessary you can both go to counseling and work it out, so that you both can live happily ever after. :2c:

[Dawn Marie]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll suggest that to her and I'll go from there.
Will keep you posted. Again Thanks, It is great to have someone to talk to and get advice from.