Rejecting your fem side?

[twiggy tt]

Ahh done it again.

I seem to go though periods of throwing away anything to do with my crossdressing. Only lasts a short while then I start again.

Anybody else have this annoying, expensive, and somewhat neurotic habit? Anyone managed to stop doing it too?

[Sonia_cd]

Purging - that's what it is called. And yes, we have all done it at some time or the other, some of us do it many times over and till date wish we never had. How do you control it? Well I doubt there is any one formula for this. Will power and a knowledge that I paid good money for clothes that I love to wear works for me :D

[jasmine57]

I've gone through periods where I denied my femme side and stayed away from dressing. But even doing so I held on to my clothes knowing it was onlt temporary. Like you said I can be expensive ti have to replace everything.

[Deborah Jane]

I used too..Now when i feel a purge coming on i lock everything in suitcases and move it somewhere safe...Like the loft.

[Mollyanne]

I've purged also but have not done it for a long time(it gets quite expensive to replace the things you throw out) Actually I will not ever do it again!!!! I have come to embrace my female side and have accepted it for what its' worth, & to be honest I like my feminine side more then I do my male side.


:love: Mollyanne

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah even if I thought I was done with CD'ing, I would not throw away all my stuff.
I have thrown away several outfits and shoes over the years and bought new stuff, but never in the form of a "purge"

[WendyCD5]

The last time I purged 28 years ago when I got married. Now that I am separated, I am slowly building up my wardrobe and will not purge again. I do not feel guilty about dressing, and have even gone out a few times on a very dark night, to a very dark place, had a few :drink: and even had one guy buy me a drink :happy:

[Daintre]

I think that at one time or another we have all done this. It can be very expensive. Additionally, when we do purge we might get rid of some items that we truly coveted....that special dress, or those wonderful sweaters, or even one of a kind lingerie. I agree with the concept of packing the clothes away, keeping it all safe, then if the need returns, you are not out big dollars trying to replace your wardrobe.

[Sallee]

We've all done it, glad I am way over it. Although I still go for long periods of not dressing and I still fight the guilt. But I try to laugh with it too. Count the number of guys in a room who might be CD's Ya can't never tell who out there wears panties:heehee:

[Crissy Kay]

Thats where being more of a fetish cd comes in handy. I only have a few maids outfits. Not much of a wardrobe at all. If I don"t want to do any dressing, it all packs away under my bed!!!!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I've been there a couple times. I don't plan to do it again (but you never know). It is REALLY expensive. Before you purge, you may just want to lock it up and give your SO the key. Then later decide.

[Megan70]

This may be of some help, its a repeat of the reply I sent to Jodie today on her thread about Getting Inspired. All our answers to your mirror answers to hers.



Twiggy tt, its your body and mind telling you to take a break and lay off for awhile. VERY normal. My dressing is cycular where i will go months without dressing voluntarily because either i don't want to or go through mood swings where i find being a CD disgusting and think I look stupid. These too pass. Its always during the summer that I take off from dressings,,its to damn hot to wear a wig, makeup and stockings. I have to wear long sleeve T-shirts or blouses because i have Popeye forearms and give myself away. So My theater of "role-playing " and female impersonation is closed during the holiday season , most of the winter(wig blows off in windy snowstorms) and all of the summer. I do NOT purge, because that's the dumbest and most costly thing to do because that to is a mood altering day of guilt that you kick yourself later when you realize what you've done and have to open your wallet and re-buy everything. NEVER PURGE! IT DOESN'T EVER WORK, just hide it away somewhere till those old feelings just reemerge.
So Jodie, kick of the heels and remove the stockings and take a break for awhile... you're not going through anything that any of us have not experienced, except for TG's and TS's. That is why I know I'm a CD/TV.

Love ,:happy:

Megan70

[WendyCD5]

I agree with the ideaq of taking a break, but please don't purge. I took to long of a break and I realize now that it had some devastating psychological consequences for me.

So by all means take a break, but when you need to feel femme, and let your feminine side express itself, you will have everything you need to let your feminine side out.

:love:

[pntyhslvr2]

I have also done this a couple of times and some of the stuff I had is not replaceable anymore. I kick myself for doing it, thinking I was going to get caught. I too put some of the things in luggage and put it in the attic. The only problem I have with that is that I forget it's up there and it get's old and out dated or just does'nt fit anymore. It's nice to have new things anyway! I wish I would have gotten caught sometimes, I would have some of the things still. Just think of it as spring cleaning!

[jennifer41356]

Only had the urge once and packed everything up in boxes and put them in the attic, for 2 weeks and thankfully brought them down and promised myself i would never do that again for anybody, its my life :drink:

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

I have been through that ritual a few times.


cindi ann

[OlgaS]

I don't throw them away, I store them and try not to think about it. But it doesn't take long, all it takes is to see an elegant women dressed up with high heels and stockings and I'm right back to dressing up again. Still trying to figure myself out.

[Joanna-Louise]

Ive been through that phase many many times, tbh as expensive as it is to do it, its also annoying as i can never seem to find the items ive thrown out.

Today has been one of those days for me, even tho I pretty much have an easy life with my SO's exceptance, i guess there will always be a day where we feel where is this going. But then i guess we all know its always going to come back and hunt us till we start back up again

[Veronica53]

I'm guilty as well,just recently I got rid of most items but thankfully I couldn't part with a couple pairs of heels. I'm picking some things up again and won't purge again Way Too Expensive.

Veronica

[sandylove]

I, too, have purged. Some items I loved I've never been able to find again. It's not easy to build up my feminine wardrobe. Not easy to shop. And expensive to replace.
Love, Sandy

[Dawn Marie]

I have purged too many times to count and each time afterwards regreting getting rid of my fem things. Now I know who I am and will never purge again. I finally realize that the femine side of me is ME. I'm happy with that and embrace her when ever possible.Though it does tend to show thru some when it drab, but I'm ok with that too.

[susanmichelle]

I too have gone thru the PURGING 3 times in my life so far, but will never do it again. I have worked out the problems with my guilt finally and its about time. We all do it one time or another and it is a very expensive and confusing time with the guilt and all. I think a neighbor outing me to all the other neighbors really settled me down to start rethinking things, and it was all revenge on her part because she felt rejected because I didnt want to date her. Good thing I found out how she was, a real syco I even had to call the police on her to get her to finally stop. Well it turned out that the neighbors didnt really care, they are all still my friends and it kind of backfired on her. But its really changed the way i feel about myself and helped me to ease the stress i was having in the first place that caused me to purge and feel guilty and all the termoil i had going on. Its been a real learning lesson to me and I think its been best for me.



Susan Michelle

[rachelmncd]

. . . . but yet due to my paranoia, I do it often.

I am definitely a streaky dresser and I find opportunities to dress. I am still in the closet so my paranoia causes me to purge. I've lost a lot of great outfits that I wish I could get back. :sad:

[Rachaelb64]

I used too..Now when i feel a purge coming on i lock everything in suitcases and move it somewhere safe...Like the loft.

This goes for me too! Lost too many nice things by purging :( . So now Rachael put away in a box until I need her again :happy:

[Charla]

I too have purged. I am trying to avoid that - I just found a GG who gave me a really nice dress that fits well and I know I could never afford to buy it on my own. I also have good makeup and if nothing else - I want to keep the labels so I can get the same shades again!

[Kerrie Sifton]

I have purged some of the best clothes over time, however, now I am deciding to buy better quality and if I goof ..eliminate the poor stuff sooner.
Go for quality and style :D

[Vivian Best]

Ahh done it again.

I seem to go though periods of throwing away anything to do with my crossdressing. Only lasts a short while then I start again.

Anybody else have this annoying, expensive, and somewhat neurotic habit? Anyone managed to stop doing it too?

Twiggy,
The old purging syndrome got you. Kinda expensive isn't it! I did it many times before I realized that I would always come back. Sooo, I got smart and stopped throwing things away! I threw an almost new pair of $450.00 breastforms away. Ouch.

[Karren H]

Nope.... haven't done that in a couple decades and never plan to do it again..... best of both genders..... having too much fun in both to have to pick one permanently... :)

Karren

[charllote34]

Yes i have had one big purge only to get the pink fog again and end up spending a small fortune .I hope now i have a balance between charllote and mr x :happy:

[charlie]

I love this forum! I just went through my third purge and rebuying cycle. Hearing all the posts from all of you fellow CD's makes me know that the fact that I can't stay away from the dressing addiction is completely normal.

[SiobhanW]

I've only purged twice, both times when I was a kid.

The first time, probably when I was 13 or 14, my mom pulled down my small suitcase from the closet only to find my single outfit stash (most of which was really hers) - a dark blue sheer panties and bra set; tan pantyhose; blue panty girdle; blue high-heel strappy sandals; and this beautiful blue flowery mini-dress that my step-father bought waaaay to large for my younger sister (I often wonder if it might have been for me all the while). Anyway, that time mom dragged me to a psychiatrist who made me promise to stop dressing as part of my masturbation ritual (yeah, sure) and she purged me.

The second time, probably 2 to 3 years later, I had slowly built up another small stash of intimates from various sources - my mom; some vintage stuff from my gran; I even conned a girlfriend to give me her panties and a baby-doll nightie as "a souvenir of our love". But I still raided mom’s closet for outerwear, which was put back when I was done. I didn’t have any shoes at the time – after the strappy sandals mentioned earlier I grew out of mom’s shoes and didn’t have the opportunity for another pair that fit me until I was able to purchase them myself at age 19 (pink strappy sandals with 3” heels). I don’t remember at all what the motivation was for the purge this time. I certainly don’t remember it being anything external.

Nowadays, between my wife being mostly accepting and all the money I have invested, I don’t have any desire to purge. Although I do worry like crazy that we’ll both die away in a vacation accident or something and her daughters end up going through my closet to clear out my stuff! I do have phases where the dressing doesn't seem so important though.

[audrey-lynn]

Yes I'm guilty. Three times over the past 10 years. I've lost some really ncie things. I hope I'm over that now. If I ever feel the urge again it'll get boxed up.

[Samantha B L]

I've done it 5 times since 1981. Or it could have been 6 times. But twice it was because of moving from one small town to another and I didn't have an inconspicuous way to pack and move my fem things. I didn't want for any family members of mine to "double check" any of the stuff that was being moved and come across my "things". Looking back,I actually beleive that caution those two times was nescesary but the other 5 or 6 times were the direct result of a lingering inability to accept that I was and am a CD. I was a little bit embarrassed and maybe in denial about it. At any rate, I won't do it again because I hastily threw out a couple of wigs and some clothing items that it would cost me a lot of money to replace!