Whats a good time to tell mom

[JOEY88]

I'm trying to figure out a good time to tell my mother I'm transgender it just seems like there isn't one i mean do i tell her in the morning over breakfast or at night ,it just seems like there isn't a good time to talk about it

[Cai]

I don't think there's a best time of day. I'd suggest waiting until the two of you are alone and in a place where you can talk without being disturbed. Plan out what you want to say beforehand, write it down if you need to. Have a place you can go to if she doesn't take it well, for some cool-down time. Be prepared for a negative reaction, but don't be defensive.

[Sejd]

how about inviting your mom to your favorite coffee bar, or a place with some privacy. the good thing about a public place, she can't freak out!!! Most of the time we are the ones though who think the world is going to fall apart if anyone gets to know who we really are. the truth is, that most people PREFER to know who we really are.
good luck
hugs
Sejd

[CaptLex]

I agree that it should be when and where you can talk privately and uninterrupted. When I came out to my son, he and I went out to eat because I knew at home there would be multple interruptions. Good luck.

[AmberTG]

Is there ever a "good" time? If you're gonna do it, you just have to pick a private time, swallow your fear, and do it!

[Katie Ashe]

Early in the day, most best I figure. Gives her time to soak in and freak out. Time to think and ask Q's. If your lucky she will take you out shopping.

I'm 32, my mom is still working on acceptance... use waterproof makeup girlfriend:p

[Sharon]

For me, there was never a good time. So I just ended up bluting it out to her when I least expected to do so. I had no choice, afterall, since everybody else in the world already knew.

[DonnaT]

High noon.

[surabhi singh]

Every time is a good time .. First give some hints and go slowly on this things ...

what iam also doing this ,I have hinted my mom and after some time gonna tell her .and moms are always good .

[Zee]

Public place, lots of people, metal detector at the door (for her concealed weapons), early morning so she is off guard, ...

Honestly, there is never a good time. The best time is a time that works best for you.

[Cristy.Cream]

Telling mom was a lot easier than telling dad.

I told mom first at night while dad was not home. I did not really plan anything I just said that we needed to talk.

I first went out side an smoked about a billion cigarettes to get all nicotined up before I broke the news

She was sitting on the couch I sat on the floor in front of her with my back to her – I could not look her in the face. Went better than I thought it would.

Please keep in mind that most parents have an agreement not to keep things from each other when it come to the children. If you tell mom you better have a plan for telling dad.

My tips

1. In private at home – you don’t know how they will react. They may Cry, scream or just talk. You really don’t know. You also have no idea how you are going to react to them – bet you did not think of that.

2. I like the evening after dinner – does not hurt if you have had a glass of wine. No one should be drunk

3. No one else should be home

4. give them a heads up that you need to talk with them and it’s a biggy. Give them a bit of time to prepare 20 mins to an hour no more. Tell them it has nothing to do with your health and everything is safe.

5. if your gay or bi you should include that in the discussion. If you are not changing your sexual orientation you should also let them know. Most civilians (civ’s) hear transsexual and think gay at the same time. That may not be the case.

6. I had a picture of myself dressed for mom to look at. She did not want to see it and I did not push the issue. This is kind of funny actually because a few weeks latter some of my her side started drifting into the laundry. I was 21 years old and into the clubs – lets just say a lot of my outfits did not have a lot of to them. I got yelled at for wearing skirts that were way too short and not lady like. My mom is English

Best of luck

[surabhi singh]

I know , every time is good for telling mom but for me that is waiting for 8 yrs , it started exactly 8 yrs back when I was 13 ,now its 21

Iam not getting exactly how to go on ,telling mom about this .
every time I try to speak ,I dunno what stops me and I delay further more .it was due starting this month ,now pushed to Jan 2008 , it's just like endless cycle of pushing it forward ...and I don't have trusty friends whom I can tell abt it , Mom is most trustable ..

any help regarding this will ,I'll be thankful

Telling this december not possible since my exams going on , and I don't want any kind of pressure .....

regards
surabhi

[thatgirl]

i came out to my parent almost a year ago. saddly nothing had change. and again during late summer. i have went to therapy twice with one person and late november when one more. nothing has changes since. ok back when i was telling my mom about me i didnt expect to tell dad not few mintes later after we had a our talk dad came in so i had to tell him. it wasnt pertty. today i have been on Herbal for about a month, growth is starting to pick up so they will be noticing some changes later, to let them know that iam serious. my hair has also grown down to shoulder lenght. they already know about my blow dryer and flat iron so. yeah

[MJ]

take mom to lunch pick a quiet place and talk to her .. all the best

[Lisa Maren]

There's no such thing as a good time to tell her. All you can really do is choose a time that doesn't suck. lol

There has been a lot of good advice so far. You might want to have a book or two on hand to give her. I also looked on the internet for successful MTFs and printed a few articles to show my mom in order to deal with those negative stereotypes and help her to deal with any career-oriented worries. My family has also watched the movie Ma Vie En Rose (which I highly recommend).

But yes, give her (and her reaction) room to be human.

We all wish you the best of luck!

Hug,
Lisa