Lost a friend

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I have been chatting with a t girl on urnotalone and Yhoo messenger for about a year. She cross dresses at home and the wife does not mind but the wife does not know she has a female persona and that she chats on line.

Earlier this week the wife discovered a message from me and blew her top. She has no idea that the chats have been going on for a year.

Anyway she ordered her husband to cease any chatting and e mailing. Seeing that their marriage is very important to my friend she is complying and I totally understand.

I know it was wrong for her to lie to her wife but I will miss her so much. We chatted about everything not just cd issues. And we did it almost every morning.

Well I am quite sad now but I know this if for the best given the circumsances.

Sasha Anne

[Sheila]

I have been chatting with a t girl on urnotalone and Yhoo messenger for about a year. She cross dresses at home and the wife does not mind but the wife does not know she has a female persona and that she chats on line.
Earlier this week the wife discovered a message from me and blew her top. She has no idea that the chats have been going on for a year.

I know it was wrong for her to lie to her wife but I will miss her so much. We chatted about everything not just cd issues. And we did it almost every morning Sasha Anne


TRUTH
first second and always ................... why is it so difficult for some people to understand that.

I am a supporting SO (most of the time anyway although I do have my odd moments .....especially when pushed:rolleyes:) ..... if I discoverd my partner was having a daily conflab with another CDR (or any other person come to that) that I knew nothing about and for an extended period of time I too would blow my stack .................. CDing has it's dark corners just like many other activities so why you continue to push limits, bounderies and commonsense is way beyond my ability to comprehend.

I am sorry you have lost a friend Sasha ............. and I hope your friend does not also lose her wife

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Sasha Anne,

I'm a little confused ... if they crossdressed at home and their wife knew, presumably their wife would be OK about them chatting with other cders for support and gossip etc .... that's if they had been open and honest with their wife.

I'm sorry this has left you without a friend :sad: I can't be a replacement I know, but why don't we increase our correspondence to one another? Did you get my email last week? Marla and I are going on vacation for two weeks starting tomorrow but when we get back I can email you more if you would like :hugs:

Hugs
Rachel

[bridget thronton]

I think it is kind of easy for me to get wrapped up in my own life and forget that the number one thing my wife wants from me is my time and attention when we are together. When I remember this, she is very accepting of my CD needs and behaviors.

[Bonnie D]

Sorry to hear that Sasha.

Truth is not an easy subject. It is ideal but not the way things go a lot of the time.

If I had told my wife that I was a cd and wanted to chat every morning with another cd in a strictly platonic venue, as gurl to gurl on the internet, she would say no, I can talk to her about anything. But it is not the same and I don't see the harm. She obviously sees a threat where I would not. So the decision should be that I abide by her viewpoint and not talk to the cd or try to come to some kind of compromise with my wife. I agree that is how it should be. However, when too many of these decisions go her way and no compromises are made then the decision of whether or not I want to continue living this way arises. Each time something controversial comes up then I analyse the situation before even thinking about confronting my wife. I ended up making decisions that I was going to take the chance that she will not find out and everything could go smoothly from there. I am doing what I want and she is not arguing with me about it. Not a very mature thing for me to do. I have told my wife about most of it when I came out to her and regret having done all that I have done behind her back. I should have told her who I really am and what I wanted or needed to do. I could have then left her and if things didn't work out as I thought or fantasized about then I could let her know and she could decide on whether or not to take me back. If things did work out then that is what should be.

So before I ramble on and on, my point is that some truths should be kept to yourself but most should be shared with your SO. If who you are and how you want to live cannot involve or goes against your SO or compromises cannot be worked out then maybe you should not be together.

Jess, you are right. Why is it so difficult?

Bonnie

[Tamara Croft]

That's really sad to read :hugs: this is why people shouldn't have secrets in their marriage, it eventually catches them up and bites them in the butt :(