Went down in flames

[Alice B]

As I had said in earlier posts I was going to try and get my wife to allow me to dress in front of her once in a while, only at home. Every indicator seemed positive, but last night I was burn't. She had a meeting to go to and she knew I was going to dress for the evening and that I might still be dressed when she came home. This has been done in the past, but she would immediately go up to bed. Last night she stayed up and was in the kitchen having a snack. I came up to fill her in on some calls she had received and she totally blew up when I did this. Said I did it on purpose to mock her, which I did not. Plus I was dressed very conservately. Anger carried over to this morning when I had to leave for golf, but all was well when I got home from the course. But, my game sucked. No sure where I stand now and quess it is back to OK when she is not around. However I don;'t like that because it means I must hide from her in our own house. I'll try to talk to her tonight, but I think I'm still going to go down in flames.:sad::sad:

[windycissy]

Ouch! Sorry you had such a miserable experience, but look at it this way: you have been totally honest with her, and have nothing to hide. And she is being honest with you, too - the fact that she freaks out when you're dressed means she is not cool with it. Maybe if you just enjoy your girl time without pushing it on her, she'll eventually come around.

[susie evans]

alice
patients my dear girl baby steps i wish you the best :hugs:

susie

[Mary Jane]

I am pretty much in the same boat as you about the dressing. I only dress when my wife is away. We worked it out so that if she got home earlier than expected that she would blow the car horn and I would head for the bedroom to undress. I wish it were different but you must admit that at least this is some sort of acceptance even if it is does just seem that they are tolerating up to a point. I think it is more important that she share in some way my interest in the dressing more than actually dressing in front of her. It is all about SHARING, I think. I hope things work out for you but it loos like you are going to have to continue to dress in private.

[Megan70]

Anger carried over to this morning when I had to leave for golf, but all was well when I got home from the course. But, my game sucked. ........:sad::sad:

PROBLEM Solved: Go to the golf course dressed in a cute kulotte pants, tank top and ,tennis bracelet and white sweater.
You change back to male mode in the locker room. Not only will your your game improve but with the drive of a guy you could qualify for the LPGA. :happy::happy:lol

Just a touch of levity here to soften your situation Not Serious

Truth be told , in a city next one over from mine within their CD support group is a foursome of guys/CDs who go out and play golf enfemme like that every week:rolleyes:
Now that's pushing the envelope.
Good Luck... seriously:happy:

Megan

[Karren H]

Women!!!

What are ya going to do? Can't live with them, Can't live without them... they get all pissy when you dress like them....... I don't get it.....

:tongueout

Karren

[Nicole Erin]

So one minute she was mad and the next she was OK?
What is that about?

[Alice B]

We'll we just had a talk and it is back to dressing when she is not around and the night 3rd Tuesday each month when she is at her meeting. Things are calm now, but I do not ever see her allowing me to dress in front of her. She is very, very strong about that point.

Megan70. That is really pushing the envelope. If I did something like that (although it sounds like a hoot) I'd be run out of town on a rail.

Karren, your right. We can't live without them. I need to be able to travel more like you do, but I'm not sure I have the guts you have.

Mary Jane. You did a good job of summing it up. Oh well. It could be a lot worse.

Susie. My steps are so small I'm stepping on my toes.

Windycissy. Your right and at least we do have complete honesty with each other. I don't ever want to do anything behind her back. I think I just get jealous of the freedom of expresion some of you have.

Happt Thanksgiving to all.

:love:Alice

[Raychel]

We kinda have an unspoken aggreement on this. Every once in a while usually about everyo other weekend, My wife will take the kids and make sure that I have time to get things done around the house. Things, Meaming getting dressed. She always calls before she comes home to be sure that I have had time to get back to her man again. This will all work fine until the day she forgets to call. Then the cat will be out of the bag. :rolleyes:

[Denise Barrett]

Sorry to hear that Alice, and Mary Jane. Having no experience with wives, not sure whether that's a good thing or bad thing, the only thing I can think of is to try and convince them to access this forum. They should be able to get all their questions and concerns answered by the other wives and girlfriends on this site.

Other than that, I have to suggestions, and again, sorry.:sad:

With all my love and respect,:hugs:
Denise

P.S. And, if you've already tried that, bummer.

[Rita B]

Wives should send up signal flags like when a storm is approaching so we could have some clue as to what to expect. My wife knows everything about my crossdressing. She has been through my closet and has seen my considerable wardrobe. She is ok with my going to bed wearing satin pajamas and nightgowns. We are scheduled to go to a "TG" party in two weeks and I have told her that I was not going in "drab" yet she keeps delaying my "debut". I am still waiting for her to ask me to at least see the pictures that were taken at the Halloween party. I have shown her the pictures of many of the T Girls who were at the party and she thought they looked quite nice.

We went shopping today. We had to go to 3 Dress Barns to find the things she wanted in her size. We discussed clothes both for her and for me. We talked about make up and wigs and what kind of clothes looks good on each of us. We had an awesome day, more like a couple of girlfriends than husband and wife. Still, I am patiently waiting for the day when she asks to see what Rita looks like. It's weird!

[Alice B]

Well t least you are moving in the right direction. It seems strange that she is willing to dress for the party, but delays your participation. I think if it were me I would just go for it. But be sure there are no storm flags fling from the yardarm.

[Kerrie Sifton]

Rita... where have you been, "storm flags", like when will they ever put up storm flags... that is their advantage... "suprise!" And it does appear that Megan has started some resolution to how your dressing will work at home. I think women need to understand that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!"

And thanks Karren for the comment:What are ya going to do? Can't live with them, Can't live without them... they get all pissy when you dress like them....... I don't get it.., that was too funny.
Reality is: that they dont get it... yet.
Truly we (or I) love them so much we just want to be more like them. But maybe without the storms :D

[helenr]

I read in a Nancy Friday book comments by GGs about transvestism. Many GGs, alas, find that men wearing 'their' clothes represents a form of defiling the garments. It is a hard to pin down dislike, that even those commenting to Nancy couldn't explain. I think that women feel that wearing pretty things is a form of entitlement they get for putting up with all the male BS they deal with from a young age on, and they don't want to share it with any men. I think it also tends to defeat the 'He man' image that most women desire -at some level for all women--frankly as a mechanism for them to get aroused. This is unfortunate but our fate, in my opinion. I would love to meet a GG who genuinely was positive towards crossdressing, not merely resigned or tolerant due to love of the spouse. Helen

[Brenda1423]

I can't even get my wife to agree to any dressing. The last time I tried was about 25 years ago. If I didn't get rid of the dress (Which is all she thought I had), we would be through. I'm just able to dress when she goes to NY to visit her Mother. I don't miss a day while she's gone. As soon as I get home from work I become Brenda. I wish I could have more times and when I retire next year, I may never be able to be myself again.

I'm not trying to make light of your situation. I guess a lot of us have difficulties in different ways. I just wish we could dress as we want the way women can.

[Sallee]

Alice that is a tough one My wife use to be accepting we would even go out together but it got the better of her I was told it would. She really doesn't want to know about it now so she puts it outof her mind. I kind of understand I don't if I would want my wife wearing a fake mustache
Good luck There is always therapy huh I mean golf

[Sally2005]

I'm working towards experiencing the CDing interaction with my wife, but until then the only red flag that she puts up is a box of tampons visible in the bathroom. This lets me know in a few days I'll be in the dog house for no apparent reason... could be worth timing the stuff she disaproves with to the times when she is less aggresive towards you. Might not apply to all women though...

[Jazzmine]

Sweetheart you could try what psychologists call the implosion technique i.e. the best way to overcome fear is to confront it head on.
In this case you would just dress 24/7 around home and see what happens. Over time, in theory, your wife will get used to it and forget her fears and get on with life!!!

Warning: You'll need to tuck your fellas in a safe place! Either that or remind her about how sternly judges view violence in the home against women!

You could suggest that maybe you take some GG hormones to try and understand her condition??!!

Send her to golf while you dress at home??!!

:hugs: Jazzmine

[Denise Barrett]

. Having no experience with wives, not sure whether that's a good thing or bad thing

I guess, good thing. Being Denise is difficult enough alone. Guess I'll adopt a cat. They may know they are the queen of the house, but at least they will unconditionally accept me for who I am. This tread is really, and never will be, none of my business. Sorry I intruded.

With all my love and respect, I really mean that,:hugs:
Denise

P.S. Good luck to you all.:happy:

[Angie G]

Sorry you have to hide in your house that just hot right hun.
When I see posts like this I think how luckey I am.
I hope your wife will light'en up on you my best wishes for you hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Alice B]

Well, Things are better in that it is back to dressing with blessings when she is not around. As to the implosion theory. If I did that it would be an explosion and a VERY BIG ONE! My wife has made it very clear that she does not want to see me dressed and that if I pushed it that far the marrage could well be over. That is something that is not acceptable to me. I will be getting frustrated over time because I would truly love to be able to meet and go out with many of you that have communicated with me. I'll have to find a way to do this safely. Till then.:love::love:

[Mitch23]

I've only been in this position for about 6 months so early days but I get modest thaws followed by freezes. i think the underlying trend is slightly positive and i can now discuss the issues without going all defensive like i used to. I have resolved to let her know exactly what i am doing and who with and where and to only do things that i could invite her to even though she is unlikely to come. i very much want her to be on board with this and cherish her very much

mitch

mitch

[Deanna2]

Unfortunately wives, gorgeous as they may be, don't come with instructions. Even if they did we, as guys under all our finery, probably wouldn't read the manual anyway. So we would still be in strife.

[jarts55]

The last time we talked about it she told me we had all ready discussed that subject and she didn't want to any more. Said she found it disgusting. I went into depression so bad that if it were not for some good friends I wouldn't be here. Wanted to end it all. As far as living without them, can't be any worse than this.

[karynspanties]

My wife and I both work full time. Usually I clean the house on saturday mornings while she does the banking and groceries. She had foot surgery last week and is off work for 11 weeks. So she is home on crutches. I told her last week that I usually clean house in my panties and either a full slip or cami and half slip and that she probably would not want to see me running around the house dressed like this. She said "go for it, I don't mind". So I did. :D She really did not seem to care. Kind of surprising. Maybe in the future I will be able to dress more compltely in front of her more. Baby steps and boundries!!

[Vivian Best]

Alice, I swear we are married to the same woman!