Lesbian Dance partner; Ever feel bad for fooling someone?

[Violetgray]

I went out last night to a club that was having an 80's night. Though these days its almost more of an alternative/slightly gothic crowd, last night you would have thought it was a lesbian bar. Saw some friends there, talked to them, etc. I was sitting near the dance floor touching up my makeup with powder when this really macho lesbian came up to me and was like "Come on pretty lady, get up and dance!" It really caught me off guard but I decided 'eh, what the hell' and did so. So we danced! She was a bit tipsy, But seemed to be having a great time.. so we danced for the first song, then another.. toward the end of the second song, she went from no contact to light contact.. and after the second song I graciously but quickly fled the dance floor. Here's the thing...

I felt really bad, like I was decieving a person who seemed pretty nice. I wasn't making advances toward her or anything, but had it been a man I would have quickly said no thank you...However, with her I found that I dreaded the exact same thing.. that she would get mad if she found out that I was male. Assuming that people know this has gotten me into slight trouble before. I know its my right to be out and dressed how I want, but still..

Anyone else ever feel guilty over giving someone the wrong impression this way? Or am I just a weirdo? (well, for a new reason at least!)

[andreaattimes]

I would feel guilty for fooling somebody, but I would also be happy that I could pass that well.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

its a complicated question...

here's the thing...who are you trying to fool then??? my point is that you are just YOU!! dressed or not dressed...you are out and about and being yourself..

i'm not naive...if you truly pass and create meaningful feelings with someone, you should tell them upfront, if you don't ...its a real risk and i guess its a safety issue too!!!>....but a dance and some flirting!!?? no way is that wrong for you to d o and i wouldnt feel even slightly bad about it and in fact i'd feel great!!! :2c:

[TV Wannabe]

Sounds like a dream come true for me, as for the deception part, I think as long as you are only dancing she should not get offended, after all she did ask you to dance.

[Kate Simmons]

That sounds pretty cool Violet, especially if you were both having a good time. Actually, this happened to me a few years ago. A lesbian and I were talking at the bar and she actually thought I was a woman. Just so there was no mis-understanding, I told her I was a guy but she wouldn't believe me until I showed her my license. The funny thing is, she still wanted to dance with me anyway and we had a good time and became friends. I don't quite know what it is but I seem to get along quite well with lesbians and have no problem whatsoever socializing with them and this is with them knowing who I am. Maybe it's my no nonsense attitude of just being myself and having fun. Seems to work well anyway.:happy:

[Dawn Marie]

Violet,

I wouldn't feel bad about it like most were saying she asked you, and nothing happened anyway. You were just being you,polite and having fun.

It has happened to me a couple of times at one club I go to, but it was usually a guy and I declined. I did have this one guy who would not take no for and answer, but luckily my female roomate saved me from that situation.

When you go out just be yourself, and have fun, but also use some common sense. Happy outings.

[carolinebrookes]

Deception can be an innocent thing sometimes. I'd say that I've been "made" most times I've been out but probably less times than the other way around.

I have been in the uncomfotable situation of having had a drink sent over by a gent and wondered "How do I respond?" Was I being deceptive if I accepted the drink? Probably. It's easy to say that I should have gone across and let him in on my secret, but that opens up a whole other box of possibilities. In the end I took the chicken's way out and went to the ladies before sneaking out of the club.

I did feel a little bad that firstly I had ran from the situation rather confront it, and secondly I felt a bad for the guy who most likely was a decent guy. You just don't know how he may have reacted when told.

I guess that is a problem if on the rare occasion like me, you actually "pass"

[Vivian Best]

Violet,
I think you handled yourself very well! I wouldn't be concerned about deceiving her. She had a great dance which I assume was all she was after. You presented yourself as your feminine side which is as real as the other side which has a little more baggage.

[MarciManseau]

I was at a dance in a gay club when I was about 18, and I had a lesbian couple who wouldn't believe I was male even after I insisted, so I offered to lift up my short skirt and show thm, but then they knew I was serious and believed me. It did feel wonderful that two girls my age couldn't tell.

We became friends and they even had me over to their apartment for dinner a few times

Marci :hugs:

[Kerrie Sifton]

Violet, i thought she just asked you to dance? In most situations if a girl or guy or gurl for that matter did not want further touching they would signal that they enjoyed the dancing, and keep it at that. I dont think you were deceiving anyone, its not like you were getting married the next day! :D