CD/TG/TS - We are what we say we are!

[lisa_e_love]

This is kind of derivative from the "Dressing for the turn on?" post and not quite on topic so I wanted to start a new thread to try and resolve some of the bad sentiments that seemed to be floating around there.

As far as identifying ourselves as CD, TG or TS we could spent several threads debating the nuances of these definitions. Usually, what we ourselves choose for identification is what we should be considered. Obviously, if someone were planning on sex change surgery and still insisted they were JUST a CD, there might be problems with that assertion. This kind of points out another flaw with these acronyms - they are not mutually exclusive categories and there is a lot of variation in what can be meant by each acronym.

If you look at the thread about, "What's your crossdressing level?" we can see that there are a lot of different types of people who like to wear women's clothing - ranging from people who just put on a pair of panties when no one's watching to people who go out fully en femme frequently to people who are always dressed and are taking hormones.

I believe I can safely speak for the whole forum when I say that all kinds are welcome here. I certainly don't feel like the more "advanced" cross dressers are engaged in some kind of conspiracy to control the content of this board - everyone can join, everyone can post and start threads that interest them and everyone is welcome. No one will be looked down upon just for getting turned on by putting on a pair of panties.

In the other thread I said that I observed a general (note that I did NOT say universal!) trend that people start out dressing for a turn on and it develops into something more mature and complicated. By saying general (and not universal) I was NOT implying that everyone goes on this track and that if you just like dressing for a turn on and have no interest in other elements of CD lifestyle you are not a true CD.

And, I seem to have caused a mild fire with this word: mature. I know how it sounds, and I apologize for it. What I mean by mature is developed, deep-rooted and complex. I was not trying to conjure up an image of me being a stodgy old grandma thumbing her nose at masturbating teenagers. What I meant was - when dressing becomes more nonsexual than sexual there are a lot of complexities involved that aren't necessarily there when dressing for the turn on. It becomes a lot more psychological and a lot less psychosexual. I was not trying to make anyone who dresses for the turn on feel put down. I would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I came to this board looking for acceptance and then didn't accept all of the sisters.

So, to anyone who may be feeling left out on this forum because they don't dress as often or they don't dress for nonsexual reasons - we don't want you to feel left out. You are most certainly people who belong in the forum. Don't feel like we're trying to control the forum and push you out. We're not. We just talk, chat, share and have a good time. If the majority of topics geared towards more "advanced" crossdressing seem to be troublesome, start other threads. I'm sure you'll find you get a response.

[charlie]

Well stated Lisa. I have found that if you don't like or understand what is being said, you can always ask a question or reply. That is the basis for this forum. The more threads the merrier!

[AbbyN]

Ok...that helps a lot. I appreciate the clarification.

Like many people, I've been struggling with this whole thing for well over 30 years, and wondering if we'll ever reach a point where everyone can be themselves without the fear of losing their jobs, getting beat up, or worse. I grew up in a deeply religious family, and for the first 30 years of my life thought I was doomed to a life of eternal hellfire. Now that I've finally gotten comfortable with the fact that there is no god, I have finally been able to get comfortable with who I am. Now I want to see the world make progress on this whole 'live and let live' thing.

I keep thinking that we (all of us) have been making progress, but every time I see a show or read an article, it's always about how society is slowly starting to accept folks with true GID. Nobody ever really spends time talking about the true CD community. We're not really considered part of the gay/lesbian/bi/TG community...we're considered freaks. In order to be 'accepted', we need to say we want to be the other sex, or we prefer sex with the same gender. Your comments and some of the others on this board really hit a sore spot - but now I have a better understanding of what you actually meant. Well said, and I do agree. Thanks for that...

Abby

[Nicole Erin]

You know, I still don't quite have all the acronyms figured out.
NO I don't mean "what does TG/CD/TS stand for, I mean I don't know who "truely" fits what category. Everyone seems to have their own standards. Like I always thought TG was a blanket term for people who dress or live, to any degree, as the opposite sex. But now I don't know.
So what would be the universally accepted blanket term?

That is hilarious! "not a true CD" hahhahaha! I dress a little for sexual reasons, sometimes just a pair of hose under my jeans and sometimes the whole ensemble.

It is SO ridiculous with this whole trans-hiearchy. It is discrimination within discrimination. God knows we can't really afford to turn our nose up at our sisters.

I am new to this forum but NOT new to the community. I do have some opinions of why things are the way they are, but in keeping in good standing, I will behave.

[AbbyN]

That is hilarious! "not a true CD" hahhahaha! I dress a little for sexual reasons, sometimes just a pair of hose under my jeans and sometimes the whole ensemble.

It is SO ridiculous with this whole trans-hiearchy. It is discrimination within discrimination. God knows we can't really afford to turn our nose up at our sisters.

Hmmm...I'm not exactly clear on what is funny. Yes, the definitions can be a bit confusing, and already I've learned that mine are different than many here, and I clearly need to be more tolerant of that. However, if I dressed because I thought I should have been born a woman, personally I don't think I'd consider wearing a dress crossdressing, and I wouldn't be on a website called www.crossdressers.com. I'd be on a transsexual or gender identity disorder website. To me, the term 'crossdresser' implies that we just like to crossdress for one reason or another. When I read posts like 'I wish I WAS her', or 'I've always wanted to be a girl', I immediately say wrong board. This has nothing to do with whether I accept them or not - just that by my definition, it is kinda off topic for this forum.

You're definitely right on the discrimination within discrimination thing, which was what I originally thought I was seeing in the other thread. Some of the comments seemed to say that those of us who crossdressed without striving to be more 'female' were somehow immature or didn't belong...which is why it bothered me. I now understand that wasn't the intention.

Abby

[Karren H]

Hey.... call it what you like.... I just call it fun.....

Karren

[Brianna Lovely]

Some of the things you said really touched me.

Sometimes it takes a lot, to look at yourself, and try to determine who we are.

Thirty years ago, I wore panties, for sexual gratification.
Twenty years ago, I wore pantyhose, because they felt nice.
Ten years ago, I had four dresses and six nightgowns in my closet, and I'd wear them now and then, Not really knowing why, just that I liked to.

Then I found this forum and after reading hundreds of posts, decided to join.

It wasn't long, before I took a deep look at myself. I realized that I had felt "different" all my life, but did not know why.

I finally realized that I was a CD person, but, in my case, I became fully aware of my feminine characteristics and I accept both my feminine and masculine traits.

But, I don't think I'm any more of a person, than the gurl who can wear a skirt, once a month, or the girl who wears jeans and a tee shirt every day.

I'm just more aware of the person I am.

[charllote34]

Hey.... call it what you like.... I just call it fun.....

Karren

HERE HERE more common sense !!!

[tina jayne]

hi there there seems to be as what was said in the opening thread some miss understandings on why and for what reason we dress and the levels and some people cant explain .why they dress. and for some people when they find this forum i may answer some of there own issues as to why they dress ask 20 different people the sam question you will get 20 different answers, we only have 1 life lets enjoy it how ever we want to dress bye for now tina:love:

[Lucy Bright]

However, if I dressed because I thought I should have been born a woman, personally I don't think I'd consider wearing a dress crossdressing, and I wouldn't be on a website called www.crossdressers.com. I'd be on a transsexual or gender identity disorder website. To me, the term 'crossdresser' implies that we just like to crossdress for one reason or another.

I can see where you're coming from, Abby, but people crossdress for all kinds of reasons, and for reasons that change over time and are mixed up in complicated ways. It makes sense to do some division into categories (as exists on this forum) just so that people can find the threads that interest them more easily, but many people are going to straddle one or other of the divides. For example, I don't think I'm a crossdresser by your definition (it's not primarily about the clothes for me), but I'm not a transsexual either (I don't feel "I should have been born a woman") - so I guess people like me would need yet a third forum! Better for us all to be together, I'd say, and learn from each other. I'm learning all the time here, and by no means only from people with my particular type and degree of TGness.

Kisses,

Lucy

[LaFem]

I don't believe you can safely speak for the rest of the forum.

I do believe you can safely speak for yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

I dress for my own reasons entirely, not the least of which is expressing my feelings and having fun.I really do not concern myself with what others think (TG or otherwise). I was never part of any TG "heirerarchy" and never will be because , to me, the whole idea is one of foolishness and seems to be perpetuated by those who need an excuse for who they are and what they do. I have none nor do I need to give one to anyone else. I've put in my time to the work force and supporting my family and defending my country. There is very little anyone can do to me.

Even so, this has been and continues to be totally my choice and that is the big difference. Due to circumstances, tomorrow, I may change my choice entirely and decide not to do this any more. Who is to judge if I did the right or wrong thing? To me there are no such thing as designations or "degrees" of TGness, other than for reference purposes. Everyone is a unique person in themself and I accept them as such and celebrate the diversity. Life would be pretty dull indeed if we were all merely part of a "Borg" TG collective. It's all about people really. People I can handle, being a "thing" or having a designation is totally meaningless to me and does precious little for us as a community.:happy:

[Wendy me]

i don't fully expect every one to understand me or why i dress and even more so what to so called put in a label ..... as i don't fully understand who i am ... why i dress ... the label i like best is happy .......

i call my self a cross dresser it's a place i can find a comfort level .... though i am sure if i relay looked i might see more..... but why??? i am happy (for the most part) with who i am..... i think a lot of people see and read things and assume they should be some were more than were they are ..... when in fact that so far away from who they are.........

[Nicole Erin]

Hey.... call it what you like.... I just call it fun.....

Karren

and the congregation said....




AMEN!

[trannie T]

You have given us a wonderful thread, Lisa.
We should celebrate and appreciate the diversity of our community. We are all individuals with different motivations. I do not claim to speak for anyone bur myself but as far as I am concerned everybody is welcome here.

[lisa_e_love]

I don't believe you can safely speak for the rest of the forum.

I do believe you can safely speak for yourself.

All I said I thought I could say safely was that everyone is willing to welcome everyone...I'd be frightened if that weren't something everyone felt.

Please don't bite me for just assuming that everyone here is going to be tolerant.

[AbbyN]

I can see where you're coming from, Abby, but people crossdress for all kinds of reasons, and for reasons that change over time and are mixed up in complicated ways. It makes sense to do some division into categories (as exists on this forum) just so that people can find the threads that interest them more easily, but many people are going to straddle one or other of the divides. For example, I don't think I'm a crossdresser by your definition (it's not primarily about the clothes for me), but I'm not a transsexual either (I don't feel "I should have been born a woman") - so I guess people like me would need yet a third forum! Better for us all to be together, I'd say, and learn from each other. I'm learning all the time here, and by no means only from people with my particular type and degree of TGness.

Kisses,

Lucy

I understand...and I'm good with it now. I really did already know that there are lots of reasons for people to CD, and it wasn't my intent to try and exclude anyone. It was the fetishist sub culture and maturity statements made in the other thread that I took issue with. The way I originally read them, it sounded like people WERE making judgments and trying to exclude a particular group. Now that I know it wasn't the case, I'm ok with it.

Thanks, this really has been a good thread. It has definitely opened my eyes a bit.

Abby

[kay2]

Lisa,
Thank you for such a clear and thoughtful statement. As I've described myself in a couple of posts, I like some women's clothes, but have no interest in forms, wigs, voice, walk, or passing. I describe myself as Fashion Freedom. So, I am one with a less mature interest, meaning it is not as complex or detailed; there is no value judgement implied in that use of the word 'mature.' I come to this forum because I have found nothing but kindness, acceptance, and lots of insight from the girls/gurls/men/... that are here.

[LeeAnn_cd]

This is a great post and bravo to the author. I would like to add my 2 cents here I feel one way or another all crossdressers start off with dressing as a fetish but as time goes on the crossdresser finds the art of dressing as more then a sexual fetish they tap into there fem side while some still find it as a fetish some dress for the fun or a hobby while some like me may take it to a level of more then a hobby or for fun. I dress 24/7 but not 365 maybe 360 days a year. I myself don't know what to call myself with so many different definitions out there some definitions I can call myself a Cd'er,tv or even a transsexual I have had some plastic surgury done on my face to soften the masculine features I have also had breast implants. Whatever the case maybe we should all be comfortable in our own skin.

[Rachaelb64]

Hey.... call it what you like.... I just call it fun.....

Karren


She'll have fun, fun, fun til her daddy take the T-Bird away :D

Labels will tell you the size of the dress but not the person you are :happy: