Avoiding the Charge of Mockery, etc.

[livy_m_b]

A fairly common reaction of women to t*s dressing is that they are mocking or making fun of real women. Even on the best possible interpretation, this is undoubtedly due to the fact that when dressed we imitate or try to emulate the mannerisms and behaviors that we imagine we know are characteristic of women. But, in fact, each one of us is imperfect in our observations, besides having personal agendas that influence our perceptions or desires to be perceived in different ways.

So, my question is, and I hope ggs will answer too, what is the best advice you can give about being natural and not coming across as mocking or making fun of women?

Thanks

[Kate Simmons]

I think , if anything, most would object to the caricature that is conveyed by some attempting to emulate. To be honest, it depends a lot on the motives of the person who is trying to imitate someone or something. It's usually pretty evident after observing them after awhile. Of course in some cases, as with crossdressing, it's evident that some over compensation sometimes results.

What I have found is that rather than playing some kind of "role", it's best to just be yourself, the reasons for doing what you do notwithstanding. People seem to relate to the real person much better than to something that is "put on". This is why most folks know who I am up front and there is no convoluted story to go along with it.

Bottom line is, good or bad, I'm just myself and if I'm going to be "damned", I want to be damned for who I am, not some fabrication. Seems to be easier to swallow for me anyway.:happy:

[Holly]

Here are some techniques that I have found helpful...


Clothing- Wear what is appropriate for your age, body type and the venue where you will be.
Makeup- Practice, practice, and then practice some more. Look at magazines for ideas and avoid the temptation to over apply makeup.
Deportment- Observe women and how they carry themselves when they walk, sit, stand, talk, etc. Watch how they use their hands during conversation and how they hold them as they walk.
Speech Patterns- Women tend to phrase things differently than men. Studies have shown that women use, on average, 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 times as many words in the period of a day than a man does. Women depend heavily on language to communicate.Finally, don't base your emulation of women on the observation of just one or two ladies, but on as many as you can find to observe. There is a beautiful symphony of femininity out there to enjoy and experience. Have a mindset that everything you do is aimed to celebrate women. Best wishes in your exploration.

[AllieSF]

The advice already given is right on. I do think you are not correct in thinking that GGs think that we are mocking them when we dress. Some might, but I would guess that probably is a small part of the whole.

[sterling12]

Hopefully, a woman who thought you were "mocking," would actually talk to you and ask about your motivations. I think that would give you an excellent opportunity to give some cogent answers.

So, your question has kind of got me thinking about what I should say, if asked. Honest and forthright seems to be the first things I think of. We should not try and come up with answers that we think they want to hear. I guess I would start by stating that, "Emulation may be the sincerest form of flattery." "Did you ever think that might be trying to honor your gender by trying to present myself as Joanie?" "My femme-self Joanie, wants to do the best job she can, have I done something to offend you?"

Right now, I feel a little inadequate for the task. I obviously need to come up with a sound strategy for such an encounter. If anyone else has some thoughts about it, I for one would like to hear your ideas.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Brianna Lovely]

Hopefully, a woman who thought you were "mocking," would actually talk to you and ask about your motivations. I think that would give you an excellent opportunity to give some cogent answers.

Right now, I feel a little inadequate for the task. I obviously need to come up with a sound strategy for such an encounter. If anyone else has some thoughts about it, I for one would like to hear your ideas.
Peace and Love, Joanie

Although I've never been confronted by a GG who objected to my way of dressing, if I am, however, I guess I'll just have to be honest in my reply.

In my case, I'm not trying to imitate women nor emulate them. I'm only trying to express myself, to the best of my ability. I wear fem clothes, because I like them and use makeup, because I'm not twenty years old, and I'm trying to look pretty.

But, most of all, I'm trying to show a feeling I have inside, to the outside world, and I honestly don't know any other way to say, "I'm a man that thinks, feels and sees, the world around me, as both a woman and a man, at the same time".

[Sandra]

I'll have a go at this. For me seeing a transgendered person wearing clothes that are not age appropriate so dress your age, that doesn't mean you can't look pretty or sexy. For everyday makeup keep it natural and not over the top, ok on a night out add a bit more but still don't overdo it... and remember we're not always dressed up and to keep on hearing why don't ggs were this and that, they look so much better does sound as though we're being mocked .

[Ruth]

Sal said pretty much what I think. Whether the possible charge of mockery would come up or not, I do this to be myself, not some imaginary woman. According to people who see me as Ruth, I do have a lot of feminine mannerisms when dressed but the effect is not mocking womanhood.

[Kate Simmons]

Sal said pretty much what I think. Whether the possible charge of mockery would come up or not, I do this to be myself, not some imaginary woman. According to people who see me as Ruth, I do have a lot of feminine mannerisms when dressed but the effect is not mocking womanhood.Exactly what I meant Ruth. Some movements and mannerisms I have in Sal mode just seemed to develop as a natural consequence. I never do anything deliberate but what comes out on it's own, so to speak is an added benefit I guess.:happy:

[Violetgray]

Certain things to understand, I think:

There are some women who are offended by our very existence, and would say that we are a mockery just by being. The only ones that aren't making a mockery in their eyes are the ones they can't even detect to be offended by.

When I hear females speak of tg mockery they are usually referring to drag queens with their giant hair, ridiculous eyelashes, over the top makeup, claws, tentacles, and stinger. (Ok maybe not the stinger, thats just weird.)
But the look, combined with the annoying "bitch" persona which is really just disguised male aggression in my opinion, tends to piss off alot of females. Anyway, thats just a certain aspect of drag qeens..

Also, it depends. Is there a difference between mockery and just a plain bad attempt? I've seen people who do try to portray a woman as accurately as possible, but for now its just beyond their capacity. I guess its not mockery because that's intentionally offensive.

[Karren H]

Funny I have never heard that arguement yet... personally or online.... and since imitation is the purest form of flattery.... so they say.... Women should be flattered that we want to dress like them? Right? hahahaha... Ok so that's a bit warped and I haven't heard that one either... lol

[marny]

Totally out there. Wanting to be is not mocking in any way! scratching head now

[Pamela Julie]

Most women have never seen a crossdresser, or at least one they could identify as a crossdresser, except in shows or movies. The TV portrayal is a mockery that I find offensive. Some crossdressers act in public in a similar fashion to actors. They are thinking out every move they make, so there is an exaggeration of motions which one could perceive as mockery. A good actor will practice, practice, practice until all motions and mannerisms are flawless. Clothing, hair, and makeup also needs to be flawless. Flawless does not mean perfection in everything, no gg is perfect in everything she does, crossdressers don't need to be either, just don't exaggerate anything. A 58 year old crossdresser as would a 58 year old gg would stand out in a crowd if she dressed like Britany Spears, and both would experience the wrath of the public. Keep age inappropriate behavior, clothing, etc. for home or parties where it is accepted by those in attendance. For those of you that can't pass in a blackout, not completely true, people are not on the lookout for crossdressers. Masculine features are found on many gg's. Some have hairy legs, broad shoulders, large bellies etc. If we correct as much as possible, don't exaggerate our actions, and act appropriate to the situation we all can pass, and the public will never know. Voice is the hardest to correct, particularly if you are speaking loudly or very softly. Practice normal conversational feminine tones, volume, and speech patterns, and people will think "she sure has a deep voice" but not think thats a man. OK girls, class begins in 5 minutes in the girls gym, come dressed, we will have final practice, which will be taped and critiqued. The final exam will take place at the mall tomorrow, bring money.