Hit on by a male admirer...and confused.

[Dita_B]

As I already posted elsewhere, I was hit on this week by a nice (and handsome) guy while I was shopping at Sears, of all places. And as far as I could detect (and believe me, I was on red alert), he bought me as a GG, lock, stock and barrel...

The first time he ran into me, he stopped right in front of me and said that he had to tell me how attractive and sexy he thought I was. In response I thanked him for the compliment and continued on my way.

But this was not the end of it, as a little later, elsewhere in the Mall, he showed up again and excused himself telling me that I had no idea how much courage he had to put together to even approach me...but that he was so impressed, that he just had to do it...

In response I thanked him again and told him that a girl is always sensitive for a compliment and that it was very kind of him... and continued on my way, in the mean time starting to feel pretty darn good about myself...

But my biggest surprise came when I was back at my car and he showed up again to tell me that he could not let me go until he could ask me to meet again...to have a coffee with me.

As I observed him and got the impression that he was genuinely impressed and trying really hard on probably relatively uncharted territory, I thought back to my own experiences approaching girls a long time ago and having a hard time making real contact...

So I found a soft spot in my heart and told him I still had half an hour to spare, and I could have a coffee with him right now...and off we went to the coffee shop.

I couldn't get myself yet to tell him that I am a TG, because he couldn't have behaved more like a real gentleman, as he went out of his way to shower me with gallantries, opening doors, helping with my coat, my chair, paying for my coffee... all of those things that nice men do for real women they are impressed with and/or they want to impress. All the time doing his utmost to make me feel comfortable and I must admit I was really starting enjoying all of this.

He even blushed several times...and was acting as nervous as a teenager on his first date!

He wants to see me again, but I don't know yet what to do with it... I enjoyed the experience because it gave me a tremendous boost in feeling like a real woman.

I also welcome this experience as it opens up a new chapter in my book of discoveries of what being a woman is all about. I am not really interested in a male admirer, but I am kind of interested in a male companion, as I see it as the ultimate "cover" for a girl like me when going places. A lot less people will "doubt" me being a genuine girl when escorted by a male... And of course, with my 6' plus height, which makes me tower over most of the female population, I always attract attention...and consequently also inquiring looks. Especially when on my beloved heels!

All the time I have been thinking about the right time to tell him the truth, but I still feel too much excited and flattered by this whole experience to make a decision about it yet.

But sooner or later, I'll have to drop the bombshell and shatter his (apparently tender) illusion...and I don't look forward to that.

What are your views on a situation like this? Any advise?

Love, :love:Dita.

[Jenny Beth]

Wow, not my territory since nothing like that has ever happened to me but I certainly understand your desire to be thought of and treated like a woman and for a brief moment you were. Cloud nine for sure but you are back down to earth now and to meet him again would amount to planned deception and we all know that's wrong. But even if you intend to drop the bombshell you have no idea how he will react, violence is never out of the question...it happens!

[Kate Simmons]

Dita, If it were myself, I would let it do no farther. The next move would be his and if he persisted, I would, of course, tell him. I've had this happen a few times but it never went very far. I just showed I wasn't interested and went on my merry way. This is the very reason why, when I go to clubs or get togethers, people who don't know me are told by me because I don't want any surprises on either side.

Sounds like a pickle of a stiuation to be in but to me honesty is utmost regardless of the potential loss. It's almost the reverse scenerio when you think about it like when it's concealed from an SO. It may make you feel like you are on cloud nine but in my estimation, the potential fall out is not worth it. It's up to you of course because you know your feelings but that is how I would proceed.:happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

Unless im mistaken you are married arent you Dita? if i am wrong i am open to be corrected, if im a right then i think you should drop any notion of meeting him again....apart from the fact you are deceiving him if he thinks you are a GG (which im sorry i seriously doubt it, he was probably an admirer), but you would be cheating on your spouse!, even if you are not with anyone you have deceived him from the onset by not being open with him, id stop it in its tracks now before someone gets hurt

[Sherlyn]

I ve had this happen once up close and personal .... however I made no point in faking a female voice as I spoke ...he was polite in all the ways you have mentioned and I politely refused his advances coz geez not what Im into sooo why encourage it !! ...so perhaps these types are TG admirers ..is my opinion ...coz no - one passes 100%..specially if nervous ...nowadays I let ppl I befriend know of my gender expression :)

[Sally24]

It's just my opinion but I suspect that he was attracted to you because you are TG. Making three seperate contacts thourout the mall I think would be very unusual normally. Either way, if you are in a committed relationship anything more than one cup of coffee would be a bad idea! Let him know you don't want anything more than that and if you must, tell him you are TG. Either way protect yourself and him and end it. He is not an accessory to your outfits!

[Khriss]

You mention 3 coincideltial encounters ?
This guy is good ... at " stalking" ?
or could be OK ? Your Call ..as allways Dita ! xx"K"

[Kimberley]

There are more than a few guys who are enamoured of us because we are TG. Personally I wouldnt let it go any farther unless you are prepared for a relationship (short term or longer term) and all that can entail.

Kimberley

[Kieron Andrew]

You mention 3 coincideltial encounters ?
This guy is good ... at " stalking" ?

i was thinking this sounds like stalker material!!

[Jodie Wexler]

Other than you being in a relationship, my answer is a question. Do you enjoy being lied to? I would at least tell him the truth first if you plan to continue anything.

[KrazyKat]

I would be seriously alarmed if someone met me at my car, now he has your license plate number, he could know everything about you. I agree, and I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, because I've gone through this with Karen, she didn't either. Stalker!! Gave me the willies reading it, what are you thinking, Girl?! Please be cautious, too many predators out there. :hugs:

I'm not saying you aren't beautiful, and could easily not be detected, Dita, but you sound a little vulnerable, and being so nervous, an experienced person could get lots of info from you.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

sweetie you are married...so....... i think you know the answer to your own question.

but otherwise i would suggest that altho you look great, i think he knows you are tg especially if you talked to him..

this statement is VERY GENERAL and is not about ALL GUYS

admirers can be really fun but like all guys (ahem..and now i mean all guys! :heehee:)..you know what they are after...i have found almost every admirer to be either ultra creepy and aggressive (yep...its like they think "oh look a tgirl..i'll go tell her she's hot and grab her crotch")...OR very sweet and totally into being with a girl with "extra">..these guys are very cool but they are really in it for the sex and go along with us to get into our panties...can you blame them!!??



he sounds like the 2nd and there is a whole group of these guys in every town and imagine his surprise when he saw you looking good and sashaying by him in the mall...so he went for it!! can u blame him!! u look really great and dress well and he liked you..

i doubt he's too into a relationship anyway...tell him you are married and that should end the discussion pretty quick either way!!

[sterling12]

Take some very deep breaths and think about things. I had a similar encounter a month ago and it's very flattering! My guy was smitten and although The Encounter was exhilarating, my "common sense brain cells" started working a couple of days later, when things calmed down.

I don't know how far you have gone with this. Does he have your cell phone number, is there a plan for a second meeting? If you have made arrangements to meet again, now is the time to STOP! As others have said, your married, and this guy may or may not suspect your gender status. If you persist, he's going to start wanting to go further with this and then you will be into a very difficult situation.

This fellow was either trying to "sweep you off your feet" by being bold and seizing the moment, or you are dealing with a stalker. Doesn't really matter, either way it's now going to have to be what YOU decide to do.

But, there is a positive side to this. You have now had another genuine GG Experience. You have had an encounter with a male who desired you. Women have to deal with flirting and unwanted attentions from males all the time, now you have a vague idea of what they face in daily life. I would treat this as a learning experience.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Dizzy-Chan]

If this happened to me, the first time he complimented me, i'd be blushing with flattery.

The second time, i'd still be flattered, but less so.

The third incident would just creep me the hell out.

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Dita,

Nothing to add except to say I agree with all that's been said. Especially Sally

He is not an accessory to your outfits!

I also agree with Dizzy

"The third incident would just creep me the hell out."

With all my love and respect,:love:
Denise

[charllote34]

ohh its a good thing for all his compilments but would you let it go further ? I dont know if your married and if you are remember its still cheating evan if its another man! but i would be buzzzing about the fact that he treat you so nice xxxx

[Nicole Erin]

If he has no idea you are TG, there could be problems.
If he does know, then maybe he wants sex or a relationshnip. Same thing a man wants from many women.
He sounds a bit aggressive, but that is just some guys. Nice guys finish last, the bad boys go for what they want.

And it is doubtful that he is tracing you. If he does not have your # or email, you will probably never hear from him again, well unless you make an effort to find him.

I think your main concern is if he knows or not that you are TG.
If he doesn't know and finds out the easy way - he will probably be gone. [Oh I am sorry, i didn't know, but that is not my thing...]
If he knows, then it is just a matter of you letting him know you cannot be in a relationship.

The guy might be clumsy when it comes to picking up women, but doubtful he is a stalker.

[lawnmanmo]

Yes, to be honest, as a male gentleman admirer myself who adores the CD world and the lifestyle, I can say the this gentleman also KNEW very well what you truly are and it was for him a hugh turnon. I know that feeling to the nines. Especially an attractive and passable women like yourself, it was something that made his heart race. There is something that I totally agree with as you said about being with a male as a "perfect cover". Nothing could be more true. The times that I have been out and about with CD women, they all have expressed to me that the ability to move about in a more realistic venue and to be taken as a true women was so much more elevated. Many time I have asked my friends to wear a wedding ring and THIS alone has told a story to the public eye......a regular normal married couple, a hubby and his wife. And the thought alone for the CD as far as being the "wife" has had some erotic and wonderfully thrilling results. So I say to you.....Try it.....you will never forget the experience. As Michelle said, you do have to be careful of who you go with. Not every encounter will lead to a sexual experience. I have enjoyed the experiences in general even without sexual contact. But do make THIS know before you do or do not get envolved even on a friendship basis.

Jerry

[Suzy Harrison]

Hi Dita - it's exciting I know, but it's a dilemma isn't it?

I think the longer you leave telling him about your TG status the more difficult it will be - and also the more upset he will be. So I think it would be best to tell him as soon as you can.

Also I can't see anything wrong with him just escorting you around the malls if that works out for the pair of you. But I guess you have to tell him what you want out of the friendship before he gets carried away with ideas.

Hope everything works out okay for you - but the amber lights are flashing a little - so be cautious.

"As they say 'Be Alert'...................... Canada needs more Lerts" :heehee:

:love: Suze

[Jennaie]

I can't bring myself to say anything here. I am so happy that you were complimented and I know you're a smart girl.

[Fab Karen]

Probably an admirer. Personally I wouldn't have further encouraged him at the point of coming up to you at your car ( unless sexually interested in him ). You assumed he didn't know, & this put you in a state of not thinking with normal caution. If you had been in male mode & a GG you weren't interested in did that, you probably wouldn't agree to hang out with her, as you know it would be encouraging her.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

Please don't be fool.He Knew who and what you are . I know you are very convining ,but let's face facts ,He was either very dumb and very good Trannie chaser! He was very bold to confront you three times and you were very silly to allow it to happen .. The are many Crazys out in the real world .
Please be very careful when you are out and about ,I know I had dated guys ,but It was after I check him out completely and it was very plotonic for sure ! Be Careful! hugs,Wendi

[Dita_B]

I would like to thank all those of you who have felt inspired to reply to my post for the thought, time and effort that you have put into it. You have no idea how much I appreciate that.

I have taken all the well meant and heartfelt analysis, warnings, comments and advise in consideration but I must say that the posts that I felt touched the sore spot most where those of Lawnmanmo and MlleErin, from which the latter said it so simple:


I think your main concern is if he knows or not that you are TG.
If he doesn't know and finds out the easy way - he will probably be gone. [Oh I am sorry, i didn't know, but that is not my thing...]
If he knows, then it is just a matter of you letting him know you cannot be in a relationship.

I have not taken a decision yet whether or not to proceed with this, as I am still weighing my options. I told him that I would call him on Monday for an eventual second encounter on Tuesday and I didn't because I am not sure what to do yet. I am torn between the flattery that makes me feel so incredibly good and having to take the risk that in a second encounter it may all fall apart because I will have to tell him what I really am.

He has no information from me whatsoever. I have his cell phone number and he might have noticed my license plate. But that's it. If I don't take the initiative there is no second contact and no second meeting.

For myself, and having listened to ALL of your input, I have the feeling that there is a more than 50% chance that he took me for a GG, as I have not been able to detect any doubts in anything he said or did... And that would make it even worse, because believing that he thinks I am a female, is really boosting my confidence and self esteem and therefore extremely intoxicating.

He knows I am married, but I stopped short telling him that my spouse is a female. BTW: he was the one who first asked whether or not I was married and he told me he was in a relationship after I reciprocated the question. I also stopped short asking whether or not his was a male/female or a male/male relationship to avoid further digging into mine for obvious reasons.

I don't believe he is a stalker. His behavior was not coming across as calculated. I believed him when he told me that he needed to get a lot of courage together to dare even approach me, as his body language and manners were congruent with that statement. It looked pretty impulsive to me and I also had the impression that doing what he was doing was certainly not a daily routine for him. I think he was genuinely "head over heels" and way ahead of himself to make sure this opportunity wouldn't pass him by. And I recognized that feeling, if correct, all too good from my own former experiences with approaching girls that impressed me.

So here I am, absolutely not interested in any "affair" at all, as I am not sexually interested in men that look like men and I don't intend to cheat on my spouse either. But... I could be interested in finding a male companion, as I stated before. So the "relationship" would be totally platonic.

Personally I don't see any harm in such a relationship as my wife and I find that each of us should be able to have opposite sex friends, without having any sexual content. Well, I realize that it is kind of a complicated statement in in this regard...

The problem that I am struggling with is that the pink fog continuous as long as I have not disclosed my true identity. And on the other hand I know I have to come forward with it, because as said above, not doing so would be coming down to deceit and thus not fair. So I know that the battle is really with my vanity, as all the flattery makes me feel so good that I don't want it to end yet... The experience is just too overwhelming and exciting right now...

I realize what a nut case I must look like in this respect, but as usual, when one's own emotions come into play, the better judgment is on a leave of absence.

In light of this new explanation, does any one of you still has to add anything to what has already been said?

I love you all for your compassion...:love:Dita.

[MarciManseau]

Wow, not my territory since nothing like that has ever happened to me but I certainly understand your desire to be thought of and treated like a woman and for a brief moment you were. Cloud nine for sure but you are back down to earth now and to meet him again would amount to planned deception and we all know that's wrong. But even if you intend to drop the bombshell you have no idea how he will react, violence is never out of the question...it happens!

If you do deciede to see him again, make sure it's in a safe open place if you plan on telling him about you, or maybe do it on the phone before you see him.

Marci :hugs:

[sterling12]

So here I am, absolutely not interested in any "affair" at all, as I am not sexually interested in men that look like men and I don't intend to cheat on my spouse either. But... I could be interested in finding a male companion, as I stated before. So the "relationship" would be totally platonic.

Personally I don't see any harm in such a relationship as my wife and I find that each of us should be able to have opposite sex friends, without having any sexual content. Well, I realize that it is kind of a complicated statement in in this regard...

Hon, I don't think either of you could keep it platonic. Perhaps it's possible, but very unlikely.

Evidence? 1.) He tried to pick you up at The Mall, a notorious pick-up opportunity. That ain't a Sunday School Social! 2.) If you get a chance, go on Google and do a search for something called "The Ladder Theory," it's kind of a fun read and it's really very hard to poke holes in The Theory. The main point, if you get to read it....Guy's only have one ladder, and I will assume that he wants to put you on that ladder. 3.) I still think you are thinking with your heart, rather than your reasoning mind. Try and work the problem the other way, pretend you are him. "What do a I want from this Gal?" Do you start to get the picture?

You still have to make some decisions. So far I think you have done the smart thing, you held off making decisions and your thinking about things. i would continue to do so.

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS. Sorry i screwed up the "quote thingie," but you all will get the idea.

[lawnmanmo]

Dear Dita
I hope that I did not frighten you in anyway. If I did, please forgive me. I belieive that I gave you more or less the view point of an admirer who has been in that situation BUT in the opposite direction. I still feel that this fellow KNEW all along what you are and he was captivated by you enough to approach you three time. As far as a stalker.....not a chance. I agree with all the girls here who have given advice and its all important but I also will say that like you crossdressers, all admirers are NOT nuts or crazies. My suggestion again to you would be to call him and while you are on the phone, feel him out and also to REVEAL yourself and then see what happens. Its going to be either a trip to meet for coffee or a quick thank you but no thanks. I am VERY curious to know what happens and what your decision would be. Once again, sex is out of the question and it should be stated to him that this is so. You CAN have a wonderful friendship and still remain "untainted".
Looking forward to hearing what you have to say.
Jerry

[Marissa^^]

Dita,
I have one thing to add to this. What would you want your wife to do if the same thing happened to her? Would you want her to contact him again and set up another meeting? Would you think it would be fine if she accepted his invitation to have coffee with him as you did on your first encounter? If the answer to any of them is no then you should not call him for that reason alone. If the answer is yes then safety and honesty are issues that you need to evaluate to see if you are comfortable with them. Good luck and please be safe.

[Vivian Best]

My take on the situation for what it's worth is that he is probably sincere in his approach! Now, the catch is that if you want a platonic relationship with him you need to tell him everything and let him decide, now! As I'm sure your aware, the longer this goes, assuming it does, the more explosive it might be.

[MsJanessa]

It's just my opinion but I suspect that he was attracted to you because you are TG. Making three seperate contacts thourout the mall I think would be very unusual normally. Either way, if you are in a committed relationship anything more than one cup of coffee would be a bad idea! Let him know you don't want anything more than that and if you must, tell him you are TG. Either way protect yourself and him and end it. He is not an accessory to your outfits!

Ditto---believe it or not darling there are lots of men out there who are attracted to Us because we are TGs, not in spite of it--that said, if you decide to take the relationship to a higher level, you should make absolutly sure he knows(I suspect he does but one is never sure). btw a lot of Us are vunerable to these kinds of advances, even though married, because that kind of attention validates our femme selves---not because we are genuinly attracted to the guy---ask yourself that question and good luck on whatever you decide.

[Suzy Harrison]

--- you should make absolutly sure he knows(I suspect he does but one is never sure). .

I still think you should ask him if he'd like to go on the Jerry Spinger show with you :heehee:

[KateSpade83]

I've never run itno a TG / CD admirer. If I did maybe my fake wedding ring might scare him away! The St. John Saleslady told me to get one! Got a $70 ring on sale at Macy's for $22!

[Kate Simmons]

I always wear my wedding band set Kate but they are not looking at your rings, believe me.:heehee:

[tricia_uktv]

Tricky one, personally I would tell him - then you both know where you are and you may have no more difficult decisions to make. But a relationship is not just built on meetings. Use phone calls, IM, email, texts whatever to get to know more about him. That way you can control whether you want to meet him again or not - and its risk free.

It does seem to me like you are on safe ground though, but still be careful,

Good luck Hon, and you look stunning!

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Dita, :hugs:

You said your wife didn't mind you having male friends, but as Dita? If you haven't talked with your wife about this encounter, and you haven't mentioned that you have, why not? There must be something inside you that feels this isn't right with regards to your wife. Maybe I'm wrong, but think about it. Whatever you decide, but please, be careful here.

With all my love and respect, :love:
Denise

[Dita_B]

btw a lot of Us are vunerable to these kinds of advances, even though married, because that kind of attention validates our femme selves---not because we are genuinly attracted to the guy---

This kind of sums it up why I was interested in the experience in the first place...

Before putting an end to this whole charade, I needed to find out whether or not he assumed he was dealing with a real female.

Or, in other words, whether I not only passed as a female in his eye, but I also was attractive enough at it to trigger his desire as a male to start a relationship. This was the most important question for me, as, as MsJanessa so justly said, it validated my female self in a huge way...

In the week time I had to ponder the situation, I decided that any further pursuit of whatever form of relationship would be tantamount to crossing the line and I figured that in order to satisfy my own curiosity I had to arrange for one last meeting from which I had to come away clean and clear...

So I called him on Thursday morning and told him that if he wanted to run into me again, he should be in the Mall at a certain time, because I was going to be there shopping at Sears again.

He responded that he would be there...

And low and behold, when I got to Sears I noticed him right away from the corners of my eyes, although he didn't approached me right away. He kind of observed me from a distance and I did as if I had not seen him yet.

After about 5 minutes, he came up to me and after exchanging the usual pleasantries, he asked me if we could go and sit down and talk because he said he "wanted to get to know me better..."

I agreed and so we sat down and he started asking me questions about myself. At that point I wanted my own curiosity satisfied first before I would give away my male identity and thus I avoided his questions by telling him I had recently started a Yahoo group that he should have a look at in order to learn a lot more about me...

(my Yahoo group VIGNO, which stands for "Vancouver Island Girls Night Out", is a group that organizes social meetings for Transgendered MtF crossdressers in the area and makes no secret of the true identity of the members...)

I thought that in this way I could catch two birds with one stone: first I would be able to avoid answering his questions, so that I could have mine answered, and second, I had flicked the switch of the timer on the bombshell of my true identity, which he would find out as soon as he would have accessed my group's site.

During the following conversation he tried hard to make me tell him what my group was all about, but I refused to give him any further information and that he would find out soon enough.

In the mean time he started steering the conversation in the direction of finding out whether or not I was interested in meeting in a more intimate setting, as he said he would love to give me a "massage" and that he was more the type that would enjoy focusing on foreplay and cuddling than anything else...
He also said something curious, that made me finally realize that I suspected what kind of predator he was, as he told me that he wouldn't have approached me if I would have been a 20 year old. He only approached me because he said he was attracted to more "mature" women.

This confirmed two things to me: first I was now convinced that he still thought to be seducing a genuine woman, and second that he focused on mature women because he assumed them to be an easy pray for a one night stand as many of them experience at some time in their marriage a shortage of (sexual) attention from their husbands, which is a known fact. So I figured that he thought that I fell into that category and so he could have his little sexual escapade(s) with a woman without risking further strings attached.

I decided that I had now satisfied my curiosity and told him that "I was not that kind of woman and that I would not cross the line of cheating on my husband", which he took brave, but nevertheless I could clearly detect his disappointment.

So it was time to break up. I asked him to promise me to send me an email after he would have seen my Yahoo group site, "no matter what" and he confirmed that he would do that....

That is the end of the story, because until today, I have not received the promised email and I don't expect to receive one either, ever. IMHO he was so embarrassed upon finding out that he was dealing with a male crossdresser instead of with a married woman in need of some much needed male attention, that he probably has obtained a significant dent in his self esteem, and he probably needs some time to recover before he starts again. Not that I am proud of that, but it was inevitable, seen the situation he initiated in the first place...

Anyway, what I got out of the encounter is a confirmation that I pass well enough in public to not only merge successfully into the female population, but good enough at it to attract the attention of a male admirer.

And that has been an exhilarating experience...

:love:Dita

[Amanda Shaft]

It sounds to me like you handled things very well and kept control of the situation. So well done! Keep on your guard though, don't get carried away, know your personal boundries and enjoy the great feelings you must be having.
Hugs Amanda x

[Kris]

Someone asked me to come here and read this thread so .. here I am a day late and a dollar short. I am curious if you went to meet him on Tuesday, what did you decide?

Okay, this is going to be harsh, so please sit down and put on your seat belt.


ARE YOU NUCKING FUTZ??

Dita dear, you don't have the slightest clue of what it is like to be a vulnerable woman .. (YET) Of course a stalker is going to be nervous and shaking because he doesn't know if you are going to call him on his behavior that was totally unacceptable!! Plus he will want to play a victim if you said in your deepest man voice, GET THE F OUT OF HER BUDDY OR I'LL CLEAN YOUR CLOCK!! He will want to say, What was HIS problem??
Psycho's and serial murders do not have flashing red lights on their forehead that say, "Stay away from me, I'm nuts!" Quit thinking with your head that is so far in a pink cloud that you can't see the nose on your face!
I can see a man running into you, telling you how pretty you are .. and MAYBE running into you again to tell you how much courage it took and asking you out... but I would still be leary. To follow you out to your car and THEN confront you when you are alone...... nope baby.. he was up to no good.
Remember that Ted Bundy was a great charming young man. Maybe you should read the book, "the stranger beside me" because it is a very good TRUE story.
My thought is...... he knew that you were a t-girl. He wanted to get you alone. He went out to the car and maybe he thought you were going to make a pass at him or give him an open invitation. You didn't, so he had to come up with something. Stay the heck away from someone like that Dita.... Holy cow, T-girls DO get killed JUST for being TG.
Now, I am talking to the man in you......... you are NOT invincible. I know it's hard for men to believe that they can be overpowered but what if he had pulled out a gun? What if he was a martial arts master and just knew he would overpower you and rape you? I know it's hard to believe it's possible but it IS.

Stay away from his guy and be LEARY of any guy that you see TWICE in a mall.

:hugs: and :love:'s
Kris

[Di]

Well thank you Kris.well said....I have been trying to stay out and not say anything.....but here goes.
First off I think he did know.....guys do not act the way you describe....it was total stalker......and I think you liking the attention put yourself at risk.
And .....it upsets me that you wrote about this where your family members can read this....( you do have a family member on here to support you correct?) you are married I just think it was not a hurtful thing to do since it could hurt them by reading this.......just to stroke your ego.

[Kieron Andrew]

Well thank you Kris.well said....I have been trying to stay out and not say anything.....but here goes.
First off I think he did know.....guys do not act the way you describe....it was total stalker......and I think you liking the attention put yourself at risk.
And .....it upsets me that you wrote about this where your family members can read this....( you do have a family member on here to support you correct?) you are married I just think it was not a hurtful thing to do since it could hurt them by reading this.......just to stroke your ego.

im glad someone else was thinking what i was thinking.....spot on Di

[Kris]

I think you liking the attention put yourself at risk.
And .....it upsets me that you wrote about this where your family members can read this....( you do have a family member on here to support you correct?) you are married I just think it was not a hurtful thing to do since it could hurt them by reading this.......just to stroke your ego.

I couldn't agree more with the linking the attention thing putting Dita at risk.
I do have to say that I don't think that Dita was writing to stroke her ego.. and I could be wrong but.. my take was that she was reaching out to see if anyone had a similar experience. I know that I see things so clearly because I am not emotionally involved but...... I can remember being a teenager, and thinking.. "No one can hurt me, I can flirt with scary murderers and nothing will happen. I'm tough.. no big deal!" Now I know logically Dita isn't living in the same delusion that teenagers do, but I have heard others talk about the stages that cd'ers go through..... and it is just my theory. I could VERY well be wrong.

Anyway....... I just don't want to ever hear of one of our members being hurt.. EVER.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

[Joann0830]

I know you have read all the posts with great understanding but I hope that if you did call him you do tell him and not lead him on further and Please do not call him from your cellphone or a number, where it will show up on his Caller ID such as his Cell Phone. We are all concerned and want you to be safe. If you are in a relationship, you also may be jepordizing that also, as your SO may not look at it as you are looking at it. We all at sometime have had the flattery of a male, but come back to the realty of the what can come of it if you want to persue it. Please use caution :straightface:Joann0830

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is always having control of the situation. You call the shots. You give that up, you are headed for potential disaster. Simple math really. If things do not add up, you don't proceed. The signals are there. Body language, tone of voice, topic of conversation, etc. Any one of these can throw up a red flag.

I've been in these situations and know just how powerful emotions and feelings can be and just how special it can make you feel. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I had one particular insistant young guy who wanted me to go to his place to "talk". I inisisted we remain where we were to talk and he kept trying to change my mind. My brain said "nope" and so did I. Haven't seen the guy since. What does that tell you? If he thought that much about me, he would have agreed to my terms. Sometimes, however, it's so obvious we just don't want to see the truth.:straightface:

[Desiree2bababe]

Go for it! Nothing like being treated like a woman in every way. You are a lucky girl.

[Dita_B]

I want to thank everybody who has taken the time and effort to respond to my thread again for their well meant comments... Even and especially those who vehemently disagree with the way I handled it. I really, really appreciate all of your heartfelt advise.

But for me, the case is now closed. I have lived and learned. I posted my story not because I had a problem with the physical part of it, as at no point during this whole episode I felt uncomfortable or out of control, but because I wanted input on the emotional part, as I had never dealt with a situation like this before.

And for what concerns my family, they all know now about Dita and when I cruise the Malls en femme, something like this is bound to happen sooner or later. I am not going to rub it into their faces, but when they read it, so be it...I have nothing to hide.

It is behind me now, I didn't hear anything anymore from this guy and I expect and convinced that I never will.

End of story.

Love,:love:Dita.

[Marcie Sexton]

Danger, danger, Will Robinson...

not only are you allowing him to be decieved, but you're also adding to the misconception we all cheat and lie...drop any ideas you have in meeting him...this can and will only lead to hurt feelings of one kind or another, be it mental or physical...no one needs that...

[Tamara Croft]

Rather than continue to debate this, Dita has already stated twice that she ended the friendship and many of you seemed to have missed that, so I'm now closing the thread.