wanting to be a girl

[Kelsy]

What happens when you have spent years crossdressing and have always convinced yourself that you are just a hetrosexual guy who likes to dress as a women but begin to realize that what you really want is to be a girl??

Kelsy

[tina jayne]

hi kelsy thats a hard one and no body can tell you but yourself good luck bye for now tina:thumbsup:

[trannie T]

I've been crossdressing for almost forty years and it has yet to happen to me. We are all individuals and each one of us has their own reasons to dress.

[Karren H]

Well, get out the check book and make it happen!!! What you want is what you want..... IMHO...

Karren

[Teresa Amina]

I think that's what they call "denial", a funny little trick we do to cope with an unrealisable desire. Wanting to Be is always what it was about for me, but actually Becoming is only now itself becoming possible. It's not the usual story but some of us share it.

[Lissa Stevens]

I've always known that I wanted to be female. When I was just a kid I would cry and pray to God to change me. There are no easy answers but if you can find a psychologist who specializes in TG issues in your area I would recommend you see them. There are none in my area so I have had to be my own shrink. It doesn't work real well. Talk to a pro.

[MJ]

you should go talk with a gender therapist , and sort out your feelings in this matter .. it's not an easy path to take..
hugs

[Shelly Preston]

MJ is correct

This is not an easy decision to take at any age

It does seem rather unusual to discover in later life you want to be a girl

You need to speak with professionals about this especially if you feel you need to change

Do not rush into any decision

[Holly]

Hey 'lil sis... Time for some serious counseling. What happens is that you need to start making some serious introspections. Is the reason you want to be a girl because you are unhappy with your life as a guy? Or are you truly convinced that you ARE a girl with the wrong equipment? In either case, it's not something to be taken lightly and some unbiased outside assistance is incredibly helpful.

[Kristen Marie]

But aren't there moments when you feel that you really want to be a girl? It clearly does not happen every time I dress, but sometimes, the urge/feeling/whatever is so strong that you really wish you were a girl.

Just 10 days ago I went to an afternoon tea party. It was a small gathering of TGirls and this old guy was there. For about an hour, I just sat there with my legs curled up under me and chatted with him (just chatted). I almost felt like his daughter. For those that know me, this is not me, but for that hour, I felt like a girl and wanted to be one.

[susancheerleader]

What happens when you have spent years crossdressing and have always convinced yourself that you are just a hetrosexual guy who likes to dress as a women but begin to realize that what you really want is to be a girl??

Kelsy

To be honest. I don't know.
I have VERY recently been encountering this myself.
In a way it is both frghtening, as well as tantilizing at the same time.
Sometimes I want to scream "what the Hell am I doing?" while other times I am just "this is the way it is."

The botom line I guess is, "This is how I feel. this is who I am."

While I preach this, I can't find myself to come out to my friends and family. :(

[AmandaM]

I want to be a girl everyday. I don't know why. The feeling never really goes away.

[Genifer Teal]

Karen, you found the words I was thinking. :p

Gen

[TxKimberly]

What happens when you have spent years crossdressing and have always convinced yourself that you are just a hetrosexual guy who likes to dress as a women but begin to realize that what you really want is to be a girl??

Kelsy

You join an elite group of people like those at CD.com! :-)

[Megan70]

Well Put TexasKim.
We are an elite group of people and we should feel proud of who we are. We're sisters united here to help one another. My God there are 9000+ members in this forum site. We must be a large group of somebodys that has something to say... right Ladies!!!

Megan

[Rita B]

I was 42 years old when it finally hit me and it took a GG to drag me out of the closet. It's a wonderful discovery. You have wonderful friends here at CD.Com and some very smart ones too. Make sure you get the right advice. Go for it but with supervision.

[Kelsy]

Thanks everyone for the comments and advice! I don't know what it is with me these days but I just feel so much more comfortable with myself as a girl.
I do think that I have grown dissatified with my male self and life is a bit of a struggle lately, that with a combination of my accepting SO has made dressing and acting female very easy and I love it. It is more than dressing
though it is more like a itch that i cannot scratch. A very strong need and it is very perplexing:(


:hugs:Kelsy

[MarinaTwelve200]

This is something very hard to determine---as we can fool ourselves---not only via "Denyal", but also not having a clear idea of what we really want or don't want. You MAY REALLY want to be a girl, but other possibilities are that you see "being a girl" as a WAY to get a certian feeling of pleasure you may desire, such as a "perpetual "turn on" or for some other psychological reason, such as some kind of S/M fantasy, etc.

Don't be too quick to dismiss this idea, your emotions and feelings can blind you to your true motives. We often do not REALLY want what we thunk we want---we often find THAT out when we actually get it.---bottom line is, we cannot trust our own desires--sometimes the desire is only a cover or method used to get something else, we often get involved in the desire without thought of our true objectivem the desire is suposed to bring about.

I thought I wanted to be a girl too, when I was younger, or at least "force femmed" ----But I really wanted the "Thrill" of the experience, not to actually be a girl or femmed myself.---BUT My mind would not let me think that--its only how I observed my OWN actions and reactions when such things were threatened to me in RL---I fought off "dressing" attempts by others, and actually ran away. I can conclude therefore, that I REALLY didnt WANT to be force femmed---but only wanted the thrill aspect of it. I STILL feel LIKE I want it, but my actions tell me I really don't---

Don't trust what you Think you feel, WATCH what you DO to determine your real FEELINGS

[RobertaFermina]

Realize....."Real"...to make "Real".

Game Over, Girl.

Now about all the time of day when you are not living as your "Real" self ?

There are lots of steps along the continuum from CD to Womanhood. Find the level of "Real" that works for you.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Joy Carter]

I want to be a girl everyday. I don't know why. The feeling never really goes away.

Ditto's :(

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks everyone for the comments and advice! I don't know what it is with me these days but I just feel so much more comfortable with myself as a girl.
I do think that I have grown dissatified with my male self and life is a bit of a struggle lately, that with a combination of my accepting SO has made dressing and acting female very easy and I love it. It is more than dressing
though it is more like a itch that i cannot scratch. A very strong need and it is very perplexing:(


:hugs:Kelsy

Kelsey,
It is human nature to want what we can't have. Of course, if u want to be a woman bad enough, u mite become one. That requires approval from a psychologist anyway. Go see one now.
I try to look like, and feel like, the hottest woman I can become. In the mirror. I've had fantasies of getting boob jobs, plastic surgery, ribs removed, etc. But I've never fantasized about a sex change or becoming a TS woman.
RS

www.myspace.com/robertsherry

[Samantha B L]

I'm what we all call the hetero m to f crossdresser. The best I can tell anybody about myself is that I'm CD not TS. But I'm 51 years old and I've gotta say that there have been a lot of times in my life that I wished I was a girl. I played with girls a lot when I was in grade school. We played nerdy card games at recess like old maid and animal rummy. I studied their speech and hand gestures a whole lot. When I got a little older I was really kind of jealous of girl's fashions and hair. I sometimes fall into conversations with women freinds where I use sentence wordings and phrases and slang which are more common to women than to men. I can't offer an elaborate clinical opinion about any of this. I consider myself to be a a guy through it all.But I can understand guys wishing they were girls.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

What ever happens is whatever is happening to me now. ):

So far in the last few days I've admitted to two people I want to be female, something I've only considered a fun thought before is now becoming a major hurdle in my life.

I've been coming out lately and each person makes it easier for me to believe this is what I need to do. Pretty soon my male identity will be a memory.

[wannabie]

What happens when you have spent years crossdressing and have always convinced yourself that you are just a hetrosexual guy who likes to dress as a women but begin to realize that what you really want is to be a girl??

Kelsy


Been there. Still dealing!

[alyssalove56]

I don't know if its that strange to have this realization "late in life" rather than as a child or teen. When I consider my family situation as a youth it doesn't suprise me that I could not even consider letting myself realize the truth- that I was a girl in a man's body. And now, at 51, I know I'm a girl inside and I realize how much work it has been to masquerade as a man. And yet, I would not trade my family, etc. for anything. Perplexing indeed! I love being on this forum and knowing there are people like me, it is a great comfort.

[malissa0311]

im urrently going threw the same thing i have recently told my wife about my feelings and lets say that it did not go well you have a lot to lose like my self. i have had these thoughts and feelings since i was in middle school and im just now coming out about them i do not realy know where im going with this but all i realy can say is talk to a pro about and see what happens i still yet to do that but hope fuly it will happen soon

[Katelyn]

I've always I wanted to be a girl. I however, don't feel like I am a girl. I like doing girly stuff, collecting dolls, and I watch chick flics, but the urge is not great enough to transition. What you're feeling is normal. Just remember, everyone has their own path.

[alyssalove56]

If I knew at 18 what I know now, I would consider exploring a transition and following that path to where I was fullfilled. However, its too late in the game. The ties that bind transcend all boundries. But yes, letting myself be a girl inside- I am so much more peaceful. I've been considering getting stuffed animals for my bed and reading about the doll collecting has me convinced. Every little thing I do to live as a girl helps. So, as I sit her in my holiday season pajamas I thank God that I understand myself better than I ever have and I revel in every little bit of girlishness I can.

[LilSissyStevie]

I wanted to be a girl up until I went through puberty. Now I just want to dress like one sometimes.

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Kelsy,:hugs:

A lot of good advice out there. Don't act with haste, consider seeking professionals that deal with this each day. A long time ago I considered the same path but didn't do it. Now, I look back, and see that it was just a way to make it easier, by looking as I felt inside. Today, I don't even consider it. I'm a male but more feminine inside than a male should be. But I accept this and live as myself, Denise, because by changing my given organs isn't going to make me feel any different, only, possibly, more acceptable by society. Talk with people who have experience in this matter. Asking the question to this family was a good start. Good luck whatever your decision.

With all my love and respect,:love:
Denise

[CatAttack]

i used to question why but now i just accept it and love it when i get to be pretty.

[vivianann]

the older I get the more I identify as a woman. I have struggled with the feelings of identify as a woman, now I have accepted and embraced my feminine side I am much happier, you do need to see a therapist to help you with your thoughts and transition if you decide to.

[Joanna-Louise]

I myself have asked the same question since i was 16. Now im 27 ive realised the extenet the surgery would cost.

it is something that only you can look into doing, and seek the answers to questions that you have. Im sure people who are transitioning here would be able to give you the insight and answers you seek.


Hope all goes well and you figure things out in time hun.

Joanna
xx

[SiobhanW]

My thinking that I perhaps wanted to live as a girl/woman peaked when I was in my early to mid-30s. Perhaps it was nothing more than a fantasy all along, I don't know. Glad now that I didn't do anything to move towards that as a permanent reality.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Kelsy, here is the way I see it (ready or not:heehee:). I used to think I wanted to be one of those "klunky" girls like "The Beav" used to so succinctly put it. When you get older though (with hormones raging) you realize those girls are not so "klunky" after all and see that maybe they have something good going for themselves. Oh yeah we are attracted to them as guys but people like us are also attracted in another way and that is to get in on what we perceive to be a good thing, being a girl ourselves, so we try it in our own limited way.

It's all about feelings really though and getting to know them and embracing them. If after doing that and understanding it, we still have a deep desire to actually BE a girl, that is the signal to possibly start down the path to transition. It can be a long an arduous one as many of our friends here can attest but has to be made so there is no margin for error. As was mentioned, we have to be willing to make any sacrifices that go along with it and fulfill all of the requirements. If is truely what we need to do, it has to be considered with all seriousness because this is our life we are talking about here. In the end, only we can make that determination.:happy:

[Kelsy]

Well Kelsy, here is the way I see it (ready or not:heehee:). I used to think I wanted to be one of those "klunky" girls like "The Beav" used to so succinctly put it. When you get older though (with hormones raging) you realize those girls are not so "klunky" after all and see that maybe they have something good going for themselves. Oh yeah we are attracted to them as guys but people like us are also attracted in another way and that is to get in on what we perceive to be a good thing, being a girl ourselves, so we try it in our own limited way.

It's all about feelings really though and getting to know them and embracing them. If after doing that and understanding it, we still have a deep desire to actually BE a girl, that is the signal to possibly start down the path to transition. It can be a long an arduous one as many of our friends here can attest but has to be made so there is no margin for error. As was mentioned, we have to be willing to make any sacrifices that go along with it and fulfill all of the requirements. If is truely what we need to do, it has to be considered with all seriousness because this is our life we are talking about here. In the end, only we can make that determination.:happy:

Hi Salandra,

Transition is a no return proposition. I am frustrated with the status quo. frustration is not a reason to change my sex.
contentment with what I am and accepting my life situation may be a better approach. I appreciate your advice! you seem very stayble and happy with who you are! I'll take a page from your book:D

:hugs:Kelsy

[Kate Simmons]

Actually Kelsy, it was not an easy decision. I had fully intended to transition when I got out of The Army 36 years ago. I had doubts though and realize now that would have been a mistake. I thought there were only two options, being a man or woman and I did not like myself as a man. As you say however, that is certainly no reason to make the unchangable decision so I thought better of it and got married. Even while being a family man, I was always on the road to self discovery and I know now I was looking for that third option. It wasn't without a lot of grief and bumps along the way that I finally found what would work for me.

While genetically a man, I do not consider myself one per se, at least not one by society's flawed definition. A real person is in touch with himself and his feelings and is not ashamed of them or expressing them. A real person shows heart and soul regardless of what he is wearing. A real person has genuine concern for others. That being the case, I define myself as a person rather than a man or a woman because those definitions are too limited by society.

Life isn't about what we have or what we wear, it's about people plain and simple. The person who comes to this realization is ahead of the game and I think many of us on this Forum have a head start.:happy:

[vivianann]

the older I get the more I identify as a woman. I have struggled with the feelings of identify as a woman, now I have accepted and embraced my feminine side I am much happier, you do need to see a therapist to help you with your thoughts and transition if you decide to.

[Carla4Guage]

Gosh you really got me to thinking (I thought I smelt smoke!), there are aspects of my life that only the male in me can appreciate - the love of my wife, the feeling I have when the macho guy has "fixed" something for the wife/family, and the knowledge that I have been the strong one in a time of crisis.
Then there is the other me, the one who appreciates being in a warm bubbly bath, the smell of a flower and a soft kiss. The one who, yes, loves the feel of lace and would do almost anything to look not good but beautiful.
Would I change if I could, no, not permanently, would I like to be a female Yes maybe 50% of the time? Is there a real solution? No not really, the best any of us can hope for is to have a spouse who will indulge us with our peculiarities and understand that these “feelings” are not an affront to them personally and are in the sincerest manner a form of flattery.

[charllote34]

Hi I wouldnt say i want to be a girl now but as i get older i do become to wonder if those feelings will grow stronger

[sybercom11]

i can't remember exactly when it kicked in because you really can't remember those very early years, but i know i felt like i should have been a girl starting at a very young age. always felt feminine and wanted to do girlie things.

obviously, like others here, i had a very troubling time dealing with the other boys who called me a sissy and a faggot constantly. but instead of wanting to play football with the boys, i wanted to stay at home and help my mother and play with dolls. and then i started playing dress-up.

[Mitch23]

I think its too late for me now, if i could have transitioned before lifes committments took over then perhaps but i would have not been mature enough and it wasnt what you did in those days. because i now am able to express my fem side i feel that i cope better with the day to day business of being a guy

mitch

[Lisa Golightly]

What happens when you have spent years crossdressing and have always convinced yourself that you are just a hetrosexual guy who likes to dress as a women but begin to realize that what you really want is to be a girl??

Kelsy

Basically you realise you're not a crossdresser.

[jennig]

HI this subject is always on my mind I feel better as a woman I look better that way but the thought of going all the way scares me but living as a man and a part time woman also dose the same. I ofton think the only thing thsat I can say is to see what happens about what is the best thing to do and how to go about doing it. often it come down to how would I be more happy not so much what friends and familey say and think but what is best for me. I have gone to a theripest only to find out what I already knew. the best thing that i can say is to do what you feel is the best thing for you.

huggs jennig:2c: