Because it NEEDS to be asked....

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Okay, here goes.....

Girls I gotta ask you. With all the trouble some of you go to in order to look beautiful what is the major roadblock that keeps you from SMILING?????

Women smile
Men look serious.

Some of the potentially BEST pictures I've ever seen are ruined by the "serious" look. You don't have to have that jack nicholson Joker grin from ear to ear mind you, but even a wistful kind of smile can change your whole image in a second.

Yes, I'm well aware that women can be serious too, but in this genre where one might be trying to blend in, and look pretty...

... a smile goes a LONG way!

Trust me ;)

Lady Zarabeth

[trannie T]

I rarely smile while in male mode. When I'm dressed the smiles come much easier. I went back and looked at a few of the photos of myself, serious as a male, smiling as a female.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I rarely smile while in male mode. When I'm dressed the smiles come much easier. I went back and looked at a few of the photos of myself, serious as a male, smiling as a female.

Very cool! It just seems like the majority of pics I've looked at here have "neutral" or stern face.

A woman's beauty flows when she smiles...

[lisa_e_love]

I've recently been trying to make more of an effort to smile when I'm dressed!

Today I got dressed up and went to the grocery store and in between the incessant thoughts of, "What do I want to buy? Is the self-checkout lane still open? Is anyone near me that might notice?" I thought of the many suggestions given to people on this board to SMILE and I flashed a little but genuine smile for the rest of my time out.

If anything, smiling just helps you feel confident if not makes you more beautiful.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I've recently been trying to make more of an effort to smile when I'm dressed!

Today I got dressed up and went to the grocery store and in between the incessant thoughts of, "What do I want to buy? Is the self-checkout lane still open? Is anyone near me that might notice?" I thought of the many suggestions given to people on this board to SMILE and I flashed a little but genuine smile for the rest of my time out.

If anything, smiling just helps you feel confident if not makes you more beautiful.

Exactly!

As I said, even a hint of a smile really helps.

You can see the difference in your avatar photo, and the more serious movie watching pic you posted earlier ;)

You are so much prettier when you smile. If I may say so... you remind me of the actress Shawnee Smith ;) (as I remember her from the early 90s _)

[JaytoJillian]

I cant help but smile when en femme because it makes me so damned happy:D

[lisa_e_love]

Exactly!

As I said, even a hint of a smile really helps.

You can see the difference in your avatar photo, and the more serious movie watching pic you posted earlier ;)

You are so much prettier when you smile. If I may say so... you remind me of the actress Shawnee Smith ;) (as I remember her from the early 90s _)

Well thank you very much Lady Z!

[cdbarbara]

You are so right!!! I find that even a hint of a smile does much more for my appearence than all the makeup in the world. I actually make an effort to keep a slight smile on my face when I go out. Its not that easy.

Smiles and Hugs Barb

[Lisa Golightly]

Born to scowl ;)

[lisa_e_love]

Born to scowl ;)

Lisa, you can actually pull off the stern, sexy look. Congratulations...keep scowling :happy:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Born to scowl ;)

and you are the exception to the rule ;)

Beautiful!

[carolinewalker_2000]

You are so right; a smile makes all the difference to a photo - and in real life as well of course!

[Teresa Amina]

I cant help but smile when en femme because it makes me so damned happy:D

That captures it for me, too. Once you lose that self conscious "OMG they're going to get me!!:eek:" thing how can you not smile?

[Michelle04240]

I am one that does not smile much in pics. I don't really smile much in any case as I don't really like my smile. Sad? perhaps...but that's life. I'm always smiling on the inside though :D

[MJ]

thats so true . i learned that a long time ago smile :D :love:

[Amanda Shaft]

They say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile! The again I like to keep fit! Lol. It’s also true that when you stand up straight and smile the years fall off, handy when like me you’re so far over the hill you can’t even see the top any more!
Sigh Amanda x

[Julogden]

Looking back at my older photos, there are none where I'm smiling, at least when looking at the shots that I did on my own with the self-timer. In my case, my photos were usually made in haste: I was in a situation where my dressing was something that I did on the sly, and was usually a hurried, somewhat stressful event, so I was usually so nervous about being caught that I never smiled.

Photos taken by others when I was out-and-about are a different matter, I am usually smiling in those. I suspect that most of us here are in the same boat, and when we're dressing behind the backs of others and are concerned about getting caught, we easily forget to smile.:2c:

Carol

[Stacye Rose]

I have troubl;e smiling when I'm dressed because I'm very self-conscious of the fact that I have ugly lips and bad teeth. My mouth is just not one of my most feminine attributes. I have experimented with several types of smiles and I'm still dissatisfied with the way they look.
Any help (as always) is appreciated.:happy:

[docrobbysherry]

Since I can't stand my male face on Sherry's body, I've created my special faces.
I can have them smiling, or not. However, I seem to prefer a bored, or even a serious look, to the smiling ones. Not sure why. But I will ponder the question now.
RS

[Stephenie S]

Interesting to see a whole thread on this subject. I have been beating this horse for over a year now on this forum.

SMILE. If you want to look like a woman, ya gotta smile. Women smile. Women smile at men, they smile (a lot) at other women, and they smile to themselves. That "deer in the headlights" look will give you away every time. Just take a look at Karren Hutton's picts. There is a very good example of someone using a smile to help them pass. Who could resist that smile?

I try to smile ALL the time. Not just a little hint of a smile (although that helps). I mean a big "s**t eatin' grin. Just like Karren. A show your teeth grin. When you meet someone in ANY social situation, SMILE. People have a hard time not smiling back. Once someone has smiled at you, you got 'em. It kinda hard for them to be mean once they have smiled at you.

I think that sometimes we get our ideas of how to look from clothes models. They never smile. They all seem to have this sultry sexy look. But, remember they are all 17 years old and have the body and face to match. Real women who try to match this look, look silly, and when WE do it, it looks even more foolish. A smile, however, lights up ANY face. Smile, smile, smile.

A smile signals that you are not a threat. A smile signals that you are happy with what you are doing. A smile signals that you aren't feeling guilty or ashamed of what you are doing. A smile signals that you are relaxed and friendly. Smile girls.

OK, that's all. Nice to see someone else on my bandwagon for a change.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[TxKimberly]

Okay, here goes.....

Girls I gotta ask you. With all the trouble some of you go to in order to look beautiful what is the major roadblock that keeps you from SMILING?????


I couldn't agree more. A smile can make all the differece between a fair face/picture, and a stunning one.
Besides, crossdressing should be fun! If your not having fun why bother?

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Interesting to see a whole thread on this subject. I have been beating this horse for over a year now on this forum.

SMILE. If you want to look like a woman, ya gotta smile. Women smile. Women smile at men, they smile (a lot) at other women, and they smile to themselves. That "deer in the headlights" look will give you away every time. Just take a look at Karren Hutton's picts. There is a very good example of someone using a smile to help them pass. Who could resist that smile?

I try to smile ALL the time. Not just a little hint of a smile (although that helps). I mean a big "s**t eatin' grin. Just like Karren. A show your teeth grin. When you meet someone in ANY social situation, SMILE. People have a hard time not smiling back. Once someone has smiled at you, you got 'em. It kinda hard for them to be mean once they have smiled at you.

I think that sometimes we get our ideas of how to look from clothes models. They never smile. They all seem to have this sultry sexy look. But, remember they are all 17 years old and have the body and face to match. Real women who try to match this look, look silly, and when WE do it, it looks even more foolish. A smile, however, lights up ANY face. Smile, smile, smile.

A smile signals that you are not a threat. A smile signals that you are happy with what you are doing. A smile signals that you aren't feeling guilty or ashamed of what you are doing. A smile signals that you are relaxed and friendly. Smile girls.

OK, that's all. Nice to see someone else on my bandwagon for a change.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I SO love this post! WELL written :)

*hugs*
Zara

[Paige.]

Thank you Stephenie for expressing yourself so well and so eloquently. A beautiful post and I agree with you100%.

One of the things that fascinate me about CD's is how you guys can transform and look so feminine and soft. Most of you guys take more time and care with your makeup and clothes than we do. We tend to be sloppy and careless much of the time and we probably should learn some lessons from you. From us you can learn that a smile goes a long way in completing the illusion you want to achieve.

I don’t think I see an answer yet to the original question Lady Zarabeth asked, “What is the major roadblock that keeps you from SMILING?????” Is it just a basic psychological difference between men and women as suggested elsewhere, or is a fear of being perceived as vulnerable, and therefore weak in some way, if you smile?

An interesting thread.

[SuzyZahn]

I agree,,i dont understand why more girls dont smile,,,me,,its easy too,,it feels and looks so nice to be femme,,i want to smile!!! Relax sisters,,,let it happen !!

[Nicole Erin]

this is a good question.

I guess in a photo or otherwise, a forced smile is easy to detect.
In a lot of my photos, I will try not to have a serious look, but I feel akward forcing a smile.

You pose a good question.

And "Lady Zarabeth", I KNOW that name, I have heard it, on another forum, but I cannot recall where.
Lady, maybe it was back from msn chats in like 99?

[Karren H]

My ears were ringing and I wasn't even on this forum at the time!! Hahaha. It didn't take a rocket scientist to walk around the mall and see that every single woman there would smile when ever they saw someone they knew.. Or even someone they didn't know.. When ever they made eye contact the smile would appear.. It was automatic.. And it took me a long time to master it.. Practice practice.. My wife used to say when taking a photo.. "Smile"". And I replied.. "I am smiling". Lol

Guys just don't know how to smile like girls do but once you master it. (Mistress it??) Then you will never smile the same way.. Meet an online CD friend in person a few months ago downtown and he strolled over to me like he knew me... I asked how he figured out it was me in the crowd.. I recoginized the smile...

And just look at Paiges smile!!! Happy girls always smile!! Its all the rage I hear!! Hehehe.. Now a days I smile all the time, no matter how I'm dressed.. And yes it does help you pass or at least look like you belong.... Nothing disarms someone like flashing a big smile at them... So get with the program...

Ok there is a downsize to all this smiling... I think I prematuraly wrinkled my cheeks.. Unhappy guys must have wrinkle free skin while older happy girls get facial surgery!! :D

Karren

[Bonnie D]

I think we don't smile because we think, as males, we look better and serious without a smile. The male world is a bit different and we tend to think what other males are thinking when they see our pic. Also, those with excellent teeth tend to show them more than those with average to not so good teeth. If I had big shining white pearls I would be smiling all the time. I tend to smile alot more when I am dressed and I find that my bright red lipstick really brightens up my teeth. My smile in general is not as nice as most women's smiles.

Bonnie

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

And "Lady Zarabeth", I KNOW that name, I have heard it, on another forum, but I cannot recall where.
Lady, maybe it was back from msn chats in like 99?

And you would be correct!

I left when MSN went to paid forums and found other places to chat ;)

There were some interesting discussions going on there too

[charllote34]

Smiling is the best thing you can do , but i do like to look sultry some times !

[Mitch23]

Most of the comments I receive when i post pictures here are about my smile. As a guy i don't that much and i am often accused of being too serious. when in girl mode i cannot help but smile - so much so that it hurts my jaw muscles sometimes. when i smile i look like a girl - when i'm serious looking, i look like a guy in a frock!

mitch

[Mia001]

Hi,

With me I think it's just because I'm taking my own photo with the self timer. Is it working? Did I set it right? Why is is taking so long? That kind of thing.

I smile quite a lot normally so I think it's justabout taking my own photo rather than what I'm wearing.

That's just me though,

Mark.

[Sherlyn]

Lol ..whatever floats your boat ...smile if you have to .... I dont see women walking around the mall grinning from ear to ear ,,,but then again I dont do malls... ...be yourself I say if you have to force it ...it aint natural .....

[Karren H]

Lol ..whatever floats your boat ...smile if you have to .... I dont see women walking around the mall grinning from ear to ear ,,,..

Proly Canadian women don't smile cause its too frigging cold out!!! :). Lol

[crunchysoda]

Bah I hate the assumption that women should/have to smile all the time.
I don't smile all the time and not even for pictures usually (mainly cuz when I do, I look totally goofy, gotta work on the "smiling pose" I guess).

It doesnt mean Im mad, sad or any other "negative" emotion, it just is.

"Women smile, Men are serious" riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. :rolleyes:

<steps back out>

[Sherlyn]

..well i was just saying to Di ...Im not sure ..but I really dont notice alot of huge smiles on the GG's faces here in the forum ...and ya Karren..thats it ....

[Eugenie]

That reminds me the cartoon that was on the walls in some of my coleagues at work:


"Smile, the boss loves idiots..."

More seriously, I think that you are right a smile adds quite a lot to our feminine appearance. It is also a sign of self confidence, even if it demands sometimes a bit of work, especialy the first times we show a picture or the first time we go out...

I try to smile in my pics but don't succeed all the times...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Fab Karen]

Bah I hate the assumption that women should/have to smile all the time.
I don't smile all the time...

It doesnt mean Im mad, sad or any other "negative" emotion, it just is.

"Women smile, Men are serious" riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. :rolleyes:

<steps back out>
yeah, I live in a BIG city & if the GG's were constantly smiling, they'd have an aching jaw, AND more attention from the clueless guys who assume that means "go for it."

[nikki_t]

Some photos look better without a smile and some look better with them. However, when I'm out on the town I'm all smiles. :D The whole bad girl serious look thing is just for some photos. I'm a very laid back easy going smiley person in real life. :heehee:

[Di]

My:2c: ...just be your smiling or not smiling self. A fake...forced smile is just going to look exactly like a fake or forced smile. If you are interacting and talking with someone...just be yourself. And anyone walking around by themselves with a big grin....that surely would get a second look.....and I would think...ummm how special....and I do not mean that in a good way.:rolleyes:

[marie354]

Di is right, a forced smile will look like what it is... (I know I should have a real smile but I'm not in the mood...)

Most of the time, I've found anyway, if you give a nice smile to someone in passing, they'll smile back.
Most men, I've noticed, don't look at your smile but at the rest of you. Hehe.
Women, however almost always smile back.

[Samantha43]

I smile all the time....maybe just a little more when I am in my female mode.

[Kate Simmons]

I take my cue from Alfred E. Neuman from Mad magazine myself. What, me worry? Not a chance babe.:heehee:

[Genifer Teal]

Roadblock to a smile? I must have driven right around it, or taken the detour. :-) No trouble smiling here. My feeling is that when we don't smile, even if we don't know it, somewhere deep inside us we are not happy. You probably feel fine and even think you are happy but at that exact moment you were not. Some people get nervous posing for a picture. They may actually be happy. I think if you are turely happy with yourself and who you are, a smile will appear without conscious effort.


Gen

[occdresser]

thats a excellent ? I make it a point not to smile in male mode, and all dressed up as a girl, I seem to smile a lot more because? I just smile more-I dont think I have many pictures where I am not smiling as a girl.:D

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Ok, let me rephrase things a bit..

I never said anything about smiling ALL the time... its simply not possible for some of us.

But understand that when one is in motion there is less a chance of being clocked enfemme, as when a photo is taken wherein time literally stops for that moment.

It is within that moment that our true selves show through.

A smile, ever so slight, really can make the difference. Now if one could care less about passing or blending.. then go about your business ;)

[Veronica 1]

I am more into grinning as when I smile you can see that I only have one tooth left. Maybe I should dress in a burlap sack and work boots then I could change my name to Granny Clampet. LOL

[Kristen Marie]

Kristen....the early years never smiled but in one photo. Now I tend to smile too much.

[Sugar]

I too try to smile all the time. I usually get one back.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

I agree that men look more serious. And women smile more often. When im Jennfer, i guess I am happier, and smiling comes easier. I have noticed that I smile a little more when im a man. Due to my dressing. And thats good.

[Jessica Z. Reese]

I love to smile when im in femme, but why am i soo self concious in male and so much more confident in femme?

[Stephenie S]

Lol ..whatever floats your boat ...smile if you have to .... I dont see women walking around the mall grinning from ear to ear ,,,but then again I dont do malls... ...be yourself I say if you have to force it ...it aint natural .....

Well Sher, you are one of the few who can look truly great without a smile. It's not that common a gift.

I remember chiding you about this when I first met you here. You said something like "piss off", "I work hard on my look, and I like it". Of course, you said it in a much more polite way.

Stephie

[Stephenie S]

So, how do you develop a smile that doesn't look "forced"? You practice! You stand in front of the mirror and practice. For a while this will seem very stilted and fake, but after some time, you will get to know your face with a smile.

How do I know this? I had two daughters. I watched them grow up. They spent HOURS in front of the mirror as preteens and teenagers. Hours by themselves, and hours with their friends. They would imitate popular personalities they saw on TV and in magazines, try out "looks" and poses, and by the time they were young ladies, they had a perfectly natural ease about themselves that many males just never get.

So when it came time for me to develop my feminine side, I did just the same thing. I practiced. I think Karren said the very same thing in her post above. Practice. How do we get good at ANYTHING? How do you get good at aplying makeup? Practice. How do you get good at putting clothes together? Practice. How do you work on your feminine voice? Practice. How do you learn how to smile without looking "fake"? Practice.

That's pretty much it, girls. Of course you don't have to smile. Sher looks absolutely stunning and almost never smiles (at least in pictures). But often when we look at each other's pictures we can look SOOO grim. Lighten up a bit. As someone has already said, "If it ain't fun, then why you do you do it?" If it IS fun, then show it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

So, how do you develop a smile that doesn't look "forced"? You practice! You stand in front of the mirror and practice. For a while this will seem very stilted and fake, but after some time, you will get to know your face with a smile.

How do I know this? I had two daughters. I watched them grow up. They spent HOURS in front of the mirror as preteens and teenagers. Hours by themselves, and hours with their friends. They would imitate popular personalities they saw on TV and in magazines, try out "looks" and poses, and by the time they were young ladies, they had a perfectly natural ease about themselves that many males just never get.

So when it came time for me to develop my feminine side, I did just the same thing. I practiced. I think Karren said the very same thing in her post above. Practice. How do we get good at ANYTHING? How do you get good at aplying makeup? Practice. How do you get good at putting clothes together? Practice. How do you work on your feminine voice? Practice. How do you learn how to smile without looking "fake"? Practice.

That's pretty much it, girls. Of course you don't have to smile. Sher looks absolutely stunning and almost never smiles (at least in pictures). But often when we look at each other's pictures we can look SOOO grim. Lighten up a bit. As someone has already said, "If it ain't fun, then why you do you do it?" If it IS fun, then show it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

PRACTICE! true-er words were never spoken ;)

and that goes for other things we do enfemme. Dressing, talking, walking, eating etc etc etc.....

[crusadergirl]

I never liked smiling i just always liked the serious look. I'm not sure if i have smiled in any of my pics. As for a roadblock stopping me from smiling there isn't one i just don't want to smile unless i see a pretty girl.

[Melissa Davis]

:happy:

[Stephenie S]

Well geez, I'd be smiling too if I lived in Sacramento.

Lovies,
Steph

[Melinda G]

OK I'm smiling!

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/9145/a46tj7.jpg

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2504/a50mw2.jpg

[Stephenie S]

OK I'm smiling!

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/9145/a46tj7.jpg

http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2504/a50mw2.jpg

And in that first picture, you look much better.

Now how about a REAL smile? A "grin". Try it, hon. I think you will be pleased with the results.

Lovies,
Stephie

[Melinda G]

I'm trying to smile more. This is my sweater dress.

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/6057/a41tv2.jpg

Oooops. Can't see my smile.

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/6527/a44ow8.jpg

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

and smiling makes a difference!

[Carly D.]

Smiling hell, I don't even like to show my face in a regular photo (male mode)... whenever there is a camera nearby I'm running away, fugitive style... that's another thing that the people I know would think is odd, that I have so many pictures of myself dressed up... and in these pictures my face is somewhat obscured... just the nature of the beast that is me....

[marny]

don't know how to smile. Well. maybe when my shoes fit!

[Stormgirl]

In my line of work,none of us really smile. But even when I am on liberty, I never smile either. Blah.

[charlie]

I cant help but smile when en femme because it makes me so damned happy:D
Jillian hit it right on the head. It is just fun to be dressed!

[Jodie Wexler]

My smile looks too fake if it is not brought on by something funny and even then it is not so good.
I find this true in almost every situation, and even with professional if the smile is not brought on buy some pleasent thought the it does not look geniue. Look at Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune, a seasoned profesional, it is still very easy to tell on her.
I have taken many head shot photos of people for bussiness publications and if you can not get them to laugh the, majority of them will look forced.

The problem, to me, is that the eyes do not match the smiling mouth. The eyes need to smile too. The saying is "The eyes are the window to the soul", if the eyes don't look happy either does the rest of the face.

[Staci]

I agree that people need to smile. Otherwise you just look like you are grumpy or angry.

[tricia_uktv]

This is a great thread and something which is really worrying me. I can't pose well, I can't get my smile right. There is something wrong with the look on my face which doesn't help me at all.

But then when I first starting doing this, a number of years ago, I can remember a girl taking me to one side and forcing me to smile. Then expressing how much better I look.

I think we sometimes over-analyse. Maybe we should just be ourselves except, yes, smile more! :2c:

But then you look at models and celebrities and they pout, they don't smile.

[CatAttack]

This is a great thread and something which is really worrying me. I can't pose well, I can't get my smile right. There is something wrong with the look on my face which doesn't help me at all.

i think a smile makes all the difference! luckily for me my smile came very naturally, and i guess i took it for granted. all i can say is practice in the mirror. i dont know if it makes any sense but i think a lot of the smile is in the eyes.

[shauna 9]

I agree that men look more serious. And women smile more often.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

But then you look at models and celebrities and they pout, they don't smile.

Yes they do
We as crossdressers have to go the extra mile to be who we are in order to look natural in our surroundings.

I posted this thread not to"insult" or be "rude" to anyone, but to merely point out that sometimes a smile... or even a hint of a smile can make all the difference.

I'm not saying girls HAVE to smile at all.

With all of the photos that people post here there are many that I say to myself... they don't look happy with what they are doing. I see others where the person just looks like they are REALLY happy with life, to be in front of that camera, and looking forward to sharing more.

Each of us is different.
Each of us is unique.

But one should not throw out the questions of:

"How do I look?"
"Am I Passable?"

Without an addendum, like the one thread recently that explains she has very tender feelings, unless you WANT the truth from those of us that bother to answer.

[Andi]

I normally don't smile, don't know why, never did. Now my face is frozen this way. When I try to smile it's very forced and ugly looking. My lips are thin and to make matters worse, my teeth are crooked and yellowed so I keep them hidden. I wish I had a nice smile and fuller lips. This is my main roadblock to looking more like a girl. GG's and a lot of the girls here are so beautiful when they smile and most do smile most of the time. :sad:

[Cassy11]

I know I need to practice. In front of the mirror, then set up the camera on a tripod and take some shots until I get the look I want. Check out Karren Hutton's photos. Now she has developed a style and a pose that really suits her.