Pictures

[Kris]

I have read on here at several occasions that people like to walk up and ask if they can have a picture taken with you, especially if they know you are TG.

I also have read where that doesn't bother many of you.

Why do you think they want a picture of you dressed en femme?

Do you not think they are making fun of you? My first thought that if they want a picture, they are thinking you are some kind of freak or oddity... please correct me if I am wrong.

I think that if someone ask someone that I was with for a picture with them, I would be totally offended and tell them that we want a picture of them because they are so odd looking.

Anyway, I would appreciate feedback to tell me if my thought process is wrong .. because I just don't get it.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

[TxKimberly]

There's some truth to what you say, but I don't think it is necessarily a "I want a pic with the freak" thing. I think it may be more that you are unique, you a different, and therefore of interest.
When I was stationed in Korea in the Army, my unit took a little tour of some shrines and temples. Almost every where we went, the Koreans would come up to our African American soldiers and politely ask if they might take their picture with him. There was no malice, there was no voyeurism behind it, it was just that these folks had never seen a black human being before.

[Kate Simmons]

For myself it would depend on the situation Kris. If I were attending something like Fantasia Fair or Southern Comfort I could understand it or maybe even CD weekend here at the club. Any other time, if I have not met and talked with the person or know them I would tell them to get lost. Hell, you never know what people do with our pictures on the accessible parts of the Forum. Even so some CD's are natural born hams and pose for anyone. Not this kid and if you do take my pic you better give me or send me a copy.;):happy:

[mylitta]

There's some truth to what you say, but I don't think it is necessarily a "I want a pic with the freak" thing. I think it may be more that you are unique, you a different, and therefore of interest.
When I was stationed in Korea in the Army, my unit took a little tour of some shrines and temples. Almost every where we went, the Koreans would come up to our African American soldiers and politely ask if they might take their picture with him. There was no malice, there was no voyeurism behind it, it was just that these folks had never seen a black human being before.

I had a similar situation in India- staying in non tourist-y part where even the 'English' Indians were a curiosity, lots of people wanted to have photos taken with me, wanted me to hold their babies etc. Weird but nice.

[Ms. Emily]

I could believe that they were doing it just to get amusement or to shame a TG person. Here in utah we had a restraunt called Dee's where a TS was working the graveyard shift. People started calling the place Freaky Dee's and they went to eat there like she was a carnival attraction. She didn't seem bothered by it but who knows really. I'm pretty sure she made good tips but at her own expense obviously.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I have read on here at several occasions that people like to walk up and ask if they can have a picture taken with you, especially if they know you are TG.

I also have read where that doesn't bother many of you.

Why do you think they want a picture of you dressed en femme?

Kris

My situation is a bit different. I perform as a Faery at the Renaissance festivals throughout texas, so I get a TON of pictures done. Some know, some don't, but in the end... its about how you carry yourself in the presence of others that counts.

[Bonnie D]

I totally understand what you are saying Kris. If I was trying to pass and completely blend in with the women around me or I had transitioned and hoped that no male identifiers showed through I would definitely not want to be singled out for a pic. I would also understand it if a non-passing TG was offended by a request for a picture but I would also understand it if a TG, passing or not, was not offended because the intention of the person asking was not negative. Human nature draws our attention to anything that is different, transgenders being one.

I would not be offended if I was out in public, I do not pass by the way, and someone wanted a pic of me or me with them depending on where I was and my frame of mind at the time. Again, the person's intentions would be a question I would ask myself before agreeing.

Bonnie

[SiobhanW]

No I don't want anyone taking my picture en femme but me, my wife, or any of my friends in the TS/TG world (because that will be the only time anyone is ever likely to have the opportunity).

Now if I put something up here on the web....well that's fair game, because I've introduced it into the public domain. So with certain privacy rights reserved (like the desire to keep my male identity private), anything I put up on here or on a social networking site, you can pretty well do what you want with it.

[MonikaW]

I would definitely say no a request for a picture from a stranger. I've never had such a request, I can't imagine why someone would even want my picture.

The reason for saying no doesn't have anything to do with being TG. I really just don't like being photographed, and there really aren't that many photographs of me either dressed as a woman or not. It's well known by many of my friends that I avoid pictures. I have a habit of disappearing when the cameras come out, and I am often conspicuously absent from group photos. I generally avoid being the subject by simply being the photographer. Almost no one ever bothers to ask me to get in front of the camera when I'm holding it.

Interestingly, I even manage to avoid being photographed when I'm not trying. For Halloween, I went with friends to a "haunted farm" where, unknown to me, everyone who was going through the trail was photographed. Afterwards, you could purchase the prints. Eventhough the folks I was with were photographed, somehow they didn't manage to get a picture of me. I find that very amusing, and I do like that.

[Holly]

Kris, just because we are "unusual" doesn't necessarily translate into others thinking that we are , "are some kind of freak or oddity." When you ask to get your picture taken with Mickey Mouse, do you think he is weird? Rather than taking the road of believing the worst of people, I'd rather believe the best. I've had my picture taken with many people and they have always been kind and courteous. Any time we can touch another live in a positive way, I think we should take advantage of it. I may be the only contact that individual will ever have with a trans gender person. Wouldn't I best serve my own and the interests of my community by being kind and gracious rather than mean and rude?

[Julogden]

Hi Kris,

I've had people take my picture in two different settings. The first was at the hotel where the local Tri-Ess group met. We CD'ers used to go to the hotel's lounge after our meeting and mingle with the public, and I remember once when there were kids, probably 12 years old or so, who followed us through the halls, snapping photos, which was annoying, and also a bit disturbing, as I wondered what in the heck their parents were thinking, allowing their kids to roam the hotel and annoy other people.

The other time (back in my younger, thinner and prettier days when I went out a lot) was at a club in Chicago called the Baton, the best drag show in town, which attracts straight tourists by the literal bus-load. Between shows, the performers mingle with the customers, who often ask if they can take photos of them, and a few times, I had the tourists ask if they could take my picture too, which I always took as a compliment, as I was being treated the same as the spectacularly beautiful performers from the club.

That was a completely different situation than the one with the kids in the hotel, as the vibe was much more respectful, as they always asked if they could take a picture, I got lots of compliments, and I never felt like I was being treated as a freak, although I realize that I was being viewed as being so different that they wanted to take a photo of me.




Now if I put something up here on the web....well that's fair game, because I've introduced it into the public domain. So with certain privacy rights reserved (like the desire to keep my male identity private), anything I put up on here or on a social networking site, you can pretty well do what you want with it.
Hi Siobhan,

I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here.

Actually, at least in the USA, it's my understanding that any photo that you take is considered to be copyrighted from the moment of creation by the photographer, regardless of whether you post it on-line. Legally, no one can use your photo for anything without your permission.

Of course, realistically, enforcing that is very difficult, but just because we post our photos on the Internet doesn't mean that we are legally giving up any rights.

Carol

[Karren H]

I'm starting to feel badly, Kris... No one has ever comeup to me and asked that... Maybe I need to make a bigger sigh next time!! Hahaha

"Senic Vista Next Exit...... Kodak moment.... Don't miss out on a chance of a life time!!"

:tongueout..

Karren

[Kris]

Kris, just because we are "unusual" doesn't necessarily translate into others thinking that we are , "are some kind of freak or oddity." When you ask to get your picture taken with Mickey Mouse, do you think he is weird? Rather than taking the road of believing the worst of people, I'd rather believe the best. I've had my picture taken with many people and they have always been kind and courteous. Any time we can touch another live in a positive way, I think we should take advantage of it. I may be the only contact that individual will ever have with a trans gender person. Wouldn't I best serve my own and the interests of my community by being kind and gracious rather than mean and rude?

I do understand what you all are saying. If you preform someplace that is one thing, but if you are just an everyday average person who happens to dress in the opposite genders attire, why would they ask you?

If they came up and talked to you and were nice and asked questions, I would welcome that with open arms. I myself have no problem going up and asking questions of strangers and I have no ill intent. However, and this is the part that I am dying to understand...

If someone asks questions with concern that is one thing.. I have a friend who had a son that had numerous health issues and died when he was 9 weeks old. With all the scars and tubes coming out of Justin many people came up with concern and asked about him. We would answer every question they had because it was concern. However, if they wanted to take a picture of him....... I would have flipped my lid. He was my friends child, who was ill and was going to die. Justin was not a circus freak or something to baulk at.

Do you see what I am getting at?

I don't think, (and I could be wrong Holly - that's why I am asking) that they need a fond memory of you. In difference countries I can see them wanting to take a picture of a black person or a blond person because they hadn't ever seen that. Why, to show there friends what that had seen.. how cool is that? But you are not of a different race, or hair color that they haven't seen. In America we are a melting pot, there are transgendered people all over the place, if you open your eyes and mind. There are pictures on the internet........ why would they want to take a picture of themselves with you - other than to laugh... I think that is my reason for asking.

Mickey Mouse, is a national celebrity, even if he is a mouse and animated. That is cool.. he is a performer.

Please don't think I am picking at your answer, I just am either not understanding what you said, or took it wrong. I just want to "get" it.

Big hugs,
Kris

[Kris]

I'm starting to feel badly, Kris... No one has ever comeup to me and asked that... Maybe I need to make a bigger sigh next time!! Hahaha

"Senic Vista Next Exit...... Kodak moment.... Don't miss out on a chance of a life time!!"

:tongueout..

Karren

Babydoll, you come to Oregon and I will snap tons of photos of you.. I will take you to Darcells and everyone takes pictures of the performers there. You'll fit right in.. but that's different.

You may not stand out as much as others..... or.. they don't know how beautiful you are on the inside.

:hugs: Kris

[Jilmac]

back when i was married to my ex (1970-80), i was wearing more lingerie and undies than outer clothes. my ex knew i dressed, but was repulsed by it. i kept it hidden from her as much as possible, but she caught me several times and gave me the cold shoulder (mostly in bed). after eight years of marriage, she started an affair with a co worker. when i discovered it and confronted her, she suddenly had an attitude change and feigned support for my dressing. it was then that she asked me if i would pose for some pictures en femme. she even offered to take me shopping for a wardrobe, makeup, and accessories. i jumped at the opportunity to increase my collection and agreed to the photos. in all she shot about 40 polaroids of me in varoius stages of dress. (from just panties all the way up to full en femme. i never questioned her motives, and even agreed to let her continue the affair. i found out aftrewards, that she was showing the pics around her office, to her parents and our mutual friends, to justify her affair and to make me look like a wierdo. after our divorce, she kept all the pics and i don't know if she ever showed them to anybody else, but my son form that marriage hasn't spoken to me in years. i wonder if he knows.

Jill

[Phoebe Reece]

I've had strangers want their picture taken with me on a number of occassions. It has always happened when there were two or more of us CD's together though. As long as the person was courteous about it, I've never refused a photo. I have also had someone take the same photo with my camera at the same time. My experience has been that most of these folks are just curious and it sometimes leads to a good outreach discussion with them. The ones that annoy me are those that don't ask permission and just try to get a pic with their camera phone when they think you are not looking. Those are usually the freak seekers.

[Lisa Golightly]

I've had people drive hundreds of miles to meet me, but no-one has ever asked to be snapped with me... Maybe I frighten them ;)

[Melanie R]

On our last Dignity cruise earlier this month, we had many of our TG's in the group including myself who were asked by other passengers to be in pictures with them. We also educated most of those requestring about our wonderful community. On the second formal night as the ship's photographer was placing our group on the spiral staircase in the ship's atrium for a group photo, there were probably hundreds of our fellow passengers who were also taking our picture. Apparently the ship's photo shop sold several hundred copies of our group photo at $20 a copy to other passengers.

[JoAnnDallas]

I used to travel oversea's a lot and I remember one trip to Japan, where I was advised not to talk to loudly while out on the street. I was puzzeled about the statement and asked why. It seems teachers of grade school classes take a lot of trips to the city. In grade school is where they start to learn the English language. So if they hear someone speaking English, they will gang around you so they can pratice their English. LOL They also want your autograph for some unkown reason.

[TxKimberly]

Kris, just because we are "unusual" doesn't necessarily translate into others thinking that we are , "are some kind of freak or oddity." When you ask to get your picture taken with Mickey Mouse, do you think he is weird? Rather than taking the road of believing the worst of people, I'd rather believe the best. I've had my picture taken with many people and they have always been kind and courteous. Any time we can touch another live in a positive way, I think we should take advantage of it. I may be the only contact that individual will ever have with a trans gender person. Wouldn't I best serve my own and the interests of my community by being kind and gracious rather than mean and rude?

Holly has made an Awsome response! This says exactly what I wanted to but a whole lot better.

Holly rocks!

[lisa_e_love]

I would be unwilling to take my picture with someone unless it was done in an understanding tolerant way.

If it was just an average bloke on the street, I wouldn't want to have him go home, upload it on his blog and say, "Look at this trannie freak I ran into on the way home from work."

When I'm out in public, I try and look passable and blend in. If I were wearing a brilliant gown with a tiara in the middle of a drug store I could see how people might think, "Oh, he doesn't mind attention - let's get a picture." But if I look like I'm just a normal girl I'd expect to be able to mind my own business and for others to mind theirs.

[Dawn Marie]

I have had my picture taken at a concert one time. They were very polite and asked the usual questions, which I gladly answered. I don't think that It was an oddity for them, but more that they didn't believe me when I told them. More than likely what gives me away is my voice, which I am working on. That is probably what tipped them off.

[MsJanessa]

I have read on here at several occasions that people like to walk up and ask if they can have a picture taken with you, especially if they know you are TG.

I also have read where that doesn't bother many of you.

Why do you think they want a picture of you dressed en femme?

Do you not think they are making fun of you? My first thought that if they want a picture, they are thinking you are some kind of freak or oddity... please correct me if I am wrong.

I think that if someone ask someone that I was with for a picture with them, I would be totally offended and tell them that we want a picture of them because they are so odd looking.

Anyway, I would appreciate feedback to tell me if my thought process is wrong .. because I just don't get it.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

Ive had that happen to me more than once---one time it was at local gaynight club by a couple of young (hetero) newly weds who were there with their gay brother (in law)--I didn't feel offended or that they were making fun of me---I think they just wanted to have a honeymoon memory. The other time was at a night club where a lady art photographer approached me, said she was compiling a bunch of portrait photos for her portfolio and could she take mine? She was dressed as a leather/goth Dominatrix so, recognizing a kindred spirit I was happy to let her. Again I didn't feel offended. It probably helped that the people who asked me, asked politely and were relativly attractive themselves