"Role-Playing"? or "Being"?

[RebeccaLynne]

My girlfriend and I were discussing the context of my CD'ing. She has interpreted it as a role-playing "game" of sorts. I've explained that, for me, it's not a "game". Rather, it's an outward expression of the feminine aspects of my personality, and the freedom to exhibit those characteristics. She has commented that my posture, gestures, and mannerisms are decidedly more female when dressed accordingly.

So my question is: are you "role-playing"? Or "being"?

[Kate Simmons]

A definate part of myself Rebecca, therefore a definate part of my state of being. It's just expressed differently outwardly sometimes.:happy:

Edit: I just want to add, I know all about role playing. It was what I did for years when I was in denial of my real feelings and I pretended to be the person everyone else thought I should be. Now I'm simply myself. There is a big difference.

[Holly]

No role playing here... just learning more about myself.

[Megan70]

Role- Playing, female impersonation.
I don't feel female instincts inside me or are of the psychological mind as a woman, nor would I want to be. I want to be able to choose when I am on stage "performing" and being convincing at it. During the 4 months of summer, the curtain is down , too hot. That's just me, others may feel different and rightly so. To me I'm a method actress.:o

Megan

[Joy Carter]

I think I'm switching sides. :o

[Daintre]

As you say, role playing denotes that it is a game. It is not a game here, it is part of my being, a part of my mental makeup.

[Lora Olivia]

being....definately....we both be

[RobertaFermina]

I fakes it till I makes it !

I yearn to become as I always will have been...artfully done, the seams are hard to find !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[AllieSF]

I like the role. I am and always will be a man, IMHO! Though I do enjoy developing my other self. It's like going to my own special masquerade party.

[CharleneCD]

The feminine side is a part of me, part of who I am. So it is not a role that I play. It is something I am.

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Rebecca, :hugs:

Being!

With all my love and respect,:love:
Denise

[sissystephanie]

The feminine side is a part of me, part of who I am. So it is not a role that I play. It is something I am.

I totally agree with Charlene. My feminine side is very strong, and part of me. Being feminine is something that I am, and therefore do naturally. I have no desire to become a woman, I am just naturally feminine. But even if wearing satin and lace, I am still a man underneath! No role playing here!

Sissy/Stephanie

Girl on the outside, man underneath

[Jilmac]

when i'm bill i'm a man. when i'm jill i am a woman. that is my being. Jill

[Lisa Renee]

It's really in no way a game. I have to sides a female and a male. But I'm more comfortable as a female, as I spend most of them time except for work as Lisa

[Kelly Greene]

Being and learning about myself.


Role-playing would be more like going through the motions with out the inner feelings and emotions that come with what we call crossdressing.

[Edwina]

No role playing here... just learning more about myself.

Learning more about myself. I like that, sums me up to a T :happy:

:love:

Edwina

[Mary Morgan]

I believe it is my trying to be feminine, and not role playing. One must consider that many of us have tried to compensate for our real feelings in order to conform to a societal standard, so a little understanding if we sometimes miss the mark when in female mode. It is not for lack of desire. I sometimes feel as though I am learning from the beginning, and need to go through all of the normal stages of maturation that a woman would go through. I don't think I will live long enough, but I'll keep trying.

[RebeccaLynne]

Role-playing would be more like going through the motions with out the inner feelings and emotions that come with what we call crossdressing.

Thanks for your responses, girls. Seems most of us live the part, rather than playing a role.

I know my femme persona is not an affectation, but an honest reflection of my too oft-repressed femininity.

I posed the query because my GF has a fantasy in which she is approached in a bar setting by a male patron whose actions involve taking liberties with her "assets", to which she submissively complies. She would like for me to indulge her, and I agreed to do so, but suggested she write a script for me, as that behavior doesn't come naturally.

And to me, THAT is role-playing!

But I'm a quick study....:heehee:

[Lora Olivia]

:hugs: amen louise!!!!!!!

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

When I go out in my "normal" femme secretary, gothic outfits I'm being me. If I add the fantasy element to it (i.e faery, wench, vampire) then I consider that my femme side doing a bit of roleplaying ;)

and gods is it a lot of fun to explore!

[Jessika Paige]

being. no question. at times i feel there is 2 of me in here. the woman in me wants to have her fun too. shame i have to keep her locked in a box till i'm home alone. its not enough anymore. i hope my wife can accept her...after all, it's just...me.

[valery]

First I would say you can never stop being during your life, I know the word is used in a different meaning here, but I came to that idea because 'playing a role' has this negative touch when it's used as the opposite of being - that's playing with the words and that's where the manipulation starts. The definition of the words...but I better stop that here :rolleyes:

I would say it's both 'role and being' but with the leading point that everybody in this world plays a role (is acting) to find his place, get what he wants and to survive, I would say it belongs together. With this aspect in mind it's a bit weird but quite interesting to think about your post...

...we're born in the wrong body or we're something in between or just like to dress or whatever - and then (growing up) we have to 'play a role' as we don't fit to the pictures that society is painting - what they call normal - one day (or since we're born) we start to feel sick and bad...

...then we grow up with big problems (often with psychic trauma etc.) and one day we're strong enough to overcome our fears and to come out of the closet. We stop playing this (forced) 'role' other people gave to us...and then someone says/thinks we're playing a role? Doesn't that sounds really weird?

I mean if I put my best dress on for a birthday to fit to this situation, but actual would like to put on something easy I'm playing a role. Dressing up to get the job is 'playing role'. If someone is loved because he's always so funny and he arrives at a party, he will start to play his funny-role.


decidedly more female when dressed accordingly.
Now, if you say that you feel comfortable and fine, full of freedom with yourself dressed accordingly...I would say you're the only one not playing a role in that moment. The picture of dressing up is close to play-acting, but I would call it here: to undress (escape) from a role by dressing. :heehee: and genetic girls also change their behavior and look more feminine, feel better dressed accordingly

So 'playing a role' as opposite of 'being', im my point of view can only apply if you don't feel good with it, or if you try to give people a picture that's not true. I think everybody can only give the answer by himself because people who just look at you, even if they're close friends can't feel, what you feel.
They try to find explanations as life always tells us that we have to have a mind about everything.

Since 2 years now and with lovely and honest help from here - I stopped 'playing a role' - often dressed accordingly.

[Kelsy]

I am just being me. It is not a role to be played. If anything In the past I played the role of the strong macho man which of course was not me!!

Kelsy

[tina jayne]

hi rebecca life is no role play you do that when you are little and no know different .i think what you might mean is a role reversal. .some couples do that but i dont think me as a cd /tv it is role play i think its part me my make up if you like cant explain it but its there .i was a little:eek:when you said role play but to some people if that is how they come to tearms with it .thats there way thats my:2c: have a good day bye for now tina

[erickka]

Hi rebecca. I too am one who equates cd ing with my being. It is a part of the complete "me" No role playing nowadays. Maybe a litlte in the beginning, before I found my inner self.

[jayelle]

Whether CD'ing is role-play or not is probably linked to whether CD'ing has a sexual element in your life. If CD'ing turns you on, there is probably some role-play going on.

We all role-play all the time. For example many of us couldn't hold down a job if we did not role play. You often have to pretend to be interested in a lot of the boring stuff that goes on in an office! And that kind of daily role-play can cause stress. For some, playing a different role (CD'ing) is a way of relieving that stress...

[Crissy Kay]

For me, it is kind of roll playing, when I"m dressed up. But then, I"m roll playing when dressed as a guy too!!!!

[Julogden]

Being, definitely. Dressing and acting manly is role-playing for me.

I do find that my presentation has an effect on how I act, to a certain degree, that is, dressed as a man, I find it easier to behave in a more masculine way, dressed as a woman, more feminie behavior just comes naturally.

Carol

[Lucy Bright]

First I would say you can never stop being during your life, I know the word is used in a different meaning here, but I came to that idea because 'playing a role' has this negative touch when it's used as the opposite of being - that's playing with the words and that's where the manipulation starts. The definition of the words...but I better stop that here :rolleyes:

I would say it's both 'role and being' but with the leading point that everybody in this world plays a role (is acting) to find his place, get what he wants and to survive, I would say it belongs together. With this aspect in mind it's a bit weird but quite interesting to think about your post...

...we're born in the wrong body or we're something in between or just like to dress or whatever - and then (growing up) we have to 'play a role' as we don't fit to the pictures that society is painting - what they call normal - one day (or since we're born) we start to feel sick and bad...

...then we grow up with big problems (often with psychic trauma etc.) and one day we're strong enough to overcome our fears and to come out of the closet. We stop playing this (forced) 'role' other people gave to us...and then someone says/thinks we're playing a role? Doesn't that sounds really weird?

I mean if I put my best dress on for a birthday to fit to this situation, but actual would like to put on something easy I'm playing a role. Dressing up to get the job is 'playing role'. If someone is loved because he's always so funny and he arrives at a party, he will start to play his funny-role.


Now, if you say that you feel comfortable and fine, full of freedom with yourself dressed accordingly...I would say you're the only one not playing a role in that moment. The picture of dressing up is close to play-acting, but I would call it here: to undress (escape) from a role by dressing. :heehee: and genetic girls also change their behavior and look more feminine, feel better dressed accordingly

So 'playing a role' as opposite of 'being', im my point of view can only apply if you don't feel good with it, or if you try to give people a picture that's not true. I think everybody can only give the answer by himself because people who just look at you, even if they're close friends can't feel, what you feel.
They try to find explanations as life always tells us that we have to have a mind about everything.

Since 2 years now and with lovely and honest help from here - I stopped 'playing a role' - often dressed accordingly.

Amen to all that, Valery. We all play roles all the time: man, woman, father, daughter, etc. Merely 'being' is the privilege of inanimate objects. So it's a false dichotomy. (As someone's tag line says here - one is not born, but becomes, a woman.)

However, this isn't to say that roles are unreal, or less than compelling. And (pace Simone de Beauvoir) it doesn't necessarily suggest that our CDing needs are the result of nurture rather than nature. Just as with actors, there are some roles that just aren't 'right' for us, and others were were 'born for'. As a man, I often feel as if I've been very badly miscast...

Kisses,

Lucy

[Carla4Guage]

When I'm Carla, it's not an act. I have very strong feelings that are not a part of my male personality. I hate that I haven't developed the female voice that woud go with my appearance. I want to respectfully project and appear the total woman.

[ChanDelle]

As others have said, this is a good question! For me, it seems the more I explore the fem side, the more it "feels" like me. The maleness is less feeling and more toward the facade side. I've kind of always wondered why I didn't feel like I belonged smack dab in the male society, and it's becoming more clear now.

I have found that I can let what I'm calling my "fem" side show a bit in male mode without seeming effiminate. Or maybe I'm overcoming years of male conditioning. I really don't know, but feeling is better than just being. A work in progress it seems.

And for those "playing" a role, that's fine as I think this is a wonderful venue for discovery.

ChanDelle

[marie354]

When I had to act as a man, it was role-playing. So, I'm being.

Being all I can be.
~~Sandy~~

[Vickifur]

Not a game, but it is a role I sincerely enjoy. At times, when dressed fully, I become another person, and that is quite remarkable and enjoyable. It is my lot in life that this is only rarely accomplished.

[Lizzie Kay]

I love my borne masculinity, but oh lordie! I love letting my feminine side out!

Liz

[Lorna]

Role-play is such a good description for how I view CDing. I want to experience the sensations that a woman experiences but mainly through the clothing and the activity, not the emotions. That's why I like to try doing different tasks while dressed.

[Carol A]

I have waited all my life to turn Carol Ann loose, now retired no children I can openly show what has been hiden in the closet all my life. I am BEING me :cheer: