what to do?

[CatAttack]

so last night when i was checking this forum my roomate came in unexpectedly. he was with a friend and we were talking for a little bit until i suddenly realized that forgot to close the tab! and i had my laptop right on my lap and im pretty sure my roomate saw it (when i saw i had this up i looked at him real quick because he was sitting next to me and it looked like he was looking at my laptop screen but he quickly looked up at me). so i dont know if he saw it or not, because he didn't say anything about it.

should i confront him about this? and what should i do?? he is someone i trust, but i dont want to wierd him out. and im not sure if he even saw anything but i think he did (as i had the part of the page with the huge crossdressers logo up).

-Katty

[Michelle 51]

I had my daughter walk in on me on my computer and before i could get out she seen the big pink logo and told her mother dad was on a crossdresser site.My wife said be more carefull so now i bring up a weather or news site on google and save it in the margin and you can just click it without even logging off and it will come up in a sec.

[Di]

You know him best.....but I would let it go and see if he says anything.

[CatAttack]

You know him best.....but I would let it go and see if he says anything.

i dont think he will say anything because he's like that. hes not a super masculine guy who works out all the time or anything. in fact he's not very assertive and hes the kind of guy who wont say something if he thinks it might offend someone, and is really trustworthy. (i trust him with my college id password). i know i dont want everyone to find out (i dont think any of my friends suspect that i crossdress), but i also feel like i want to tell him (he'd be the first person i ever told besides on this forum) because it feels like my opportunity just came up. aghh what should i do??? what should i say to him without wierding him out

[lisa_e_love]

Before you tell him consider the tenuousness of roommate relations. If you're going to be living together for several months and you're not sure how he'd react you might want to probe a little bit before revealing your secret. Otherwise, you're in for some VERY awkward months.

[Susan.]

I would blow it off. We've all gone to web sites that were not what we thought they were or "just to look". The fact that you did not make a big deal of it then makes you look "innocent".

[Jill]

If it were me, I'd just let it slide. He may not even think much about it or even put much thought into it. But if you went and spilled the beans, it might weird him out. I personally think you should let it go. But it also sounds like you might be looking for someone to talk to about it, a friend to confide in, a confidaunt of sorts. From my own personal experience, use descretion when it comes to telling someone. Don't tell someone just because you need someone to talk to about it. Be smart about it.

[TxKimberly]

I think I would let it go unless he asks, or unless YOU feel the urge to share it with him. I guess if he is a room mate and has a problem with it, he probably will let you know sooner or later.

[SiobhanW]

I would consider that a complete nightmare! :eek: That's why I'm constantly logging on and off from here - gotta close when I walk away. Sometimes I even come back to my machine and double-check, just to be sure. I also don't have my user ID and password saved and clear out my history if I'm going to be away for the day. Bit paranoid you see. :o

But if I am caught.....Damn computer virus! Taking me to all sorts of random porn and alternative lifestyle pages. :heehee:

[Annaliese]

so last night when i was checking this forum my roomate came in unexpectedly. he was with a friend and we were talking for a little bit until i suddenly realized that forgot to close the tab! and i had my laptop right on my lap and im pretty sure my roomate saw it (when i saw i had this up i looked at him real quick because he was sitting next to me and it looked like he was looking at my laptop screen but he quickly looked up at me). so i dont know if he saw it or not, because he didn't say anything about it.

should i confront him about this? and what should i do?? he is someone i trust, but i dont want to wierd him out. and im not sure if he even saw anything but i think he did (as i had the part of the page with the huge crossdressers logo up).

-Katty


You might find you have something in commom.

[CatAttack]

You might find you have something in commom.

hmm what do you mean?

more background about him:
i dont think id offend him because we're both really chill about everything. for example we share everything except towels/boxers, though if one of us really needed a clean towel/boxers we'd let each other borrow. and most of the time we dont even have to ask. also ive never seen him get offended by anything or get mad, and likewise. i know for a fact that hes a virgin and has trouble joking/teasing girls (mostly because hes too nice i think). weve never not gotten along or even argued, but i dont know if this is going to be that "one toke over the line"

and whats a good way to probe without giving myself away, since im not sure if he saw it or not. all i know is that it was very visible to where he was sitting (next to me) and all he had to do was glance, which i thought i saw but am not sure

[Bonnie D]

He sounds like a nice guy and it also sounds like you want to tell him about yourself. This would be a good way to start. Tell him you are a member of site and you had left it open when he was last there and it looked like he had seen it. If he says he didn't then you can decide if you want to go ahead and tell him or you can say it is fine and it is personal and leave it at that. If he did see it then you can ask him if he has any questions about it. Whether you are gay or not will be one of the first questions. If you are gay, are you interested in him? You may be gay but only want him as a friend, especially if he is not gay. If you are both gay and interested in each other then great. If neither of you are gay then hopefully you can still be good friends.

Of course, you could could just ignore the whole incident unless he brings it up and as you say he probably won't. So what do you really want and are willing to risk your present friendship for the possibility of a better friendship or more?

Bonnie

[kim85]

If you think hes going to be cool with it then id say tell him but at the end of the day its your choice every person reacts differently. From your posts he sounds a good guy not one to throw a friendship away because your "different" . After all there are no two people exactly alike
Kim
xxx

[Littlej10]

Hi Katty.
A tricky one this. You sound as though you are desperate to confide in someone and thet he may be the one friend you are close enough to. Do not take him on a crash course into our world. I came out to a friend under forced circumstances and it worked out O.K. but it was a scary experience and I was probably lucky as the friend did not feel threatened by the situation. Perhaps a general discussion about the wide variety of sites that are on the net could allow you to "feel him out" a little before you commit. Acquaintances and lovers are easy to find but a good friend is the most precious thing. Good luck!

[Joanne f]

You know him best.....but I would let it go and see if he says anything.

Think i will go with that .

joanne

[charllote34]

i wouldnt say anything else he wont have notiched , wait till he catches you dressed thats when the explanations begin!

[Nicole Erin]

You know him best.....but I would let it go and see if he says anything.

This is a good rule to deal with any kind of situation. Yes you are worried and wondering, but don't beg the question. If he don't say anything...

And really cause people don't want to talk or think about CD's exsisting in their little world, if you said "Oh someone had sent me a link" or say you accidently clicked on this site from another, he will buy that. You will say what he probably wants to hear, and people quit asking questions once they hear what they want.

[ErikaLeigh]

I would let it go too. I have someone walk into the place I was working and saw the screen with the big logo on top too. I let it go and nother was ever said.

[CatAttack]

ahhh hes not back yet i hope he comes in soon so i can figure out my next move! ... if i make a next move haha. i think i care a lot because i dont think he'd react negatively. because you know how you can tell what you can kind of predict how someone will react to something once you know them pretty well, well i predict he wouldnt be bad about it but i dunno we'll see

[Miss Vicki]

Hi. Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. My wife walked in to the coputer room and said that she was looking at something the other day and went to the history file to look.
I am sure that she saw the croosdressers.com page. (i forgot to delete that days history.
She said nothing. However, whenever I am on the computer for a long time, she comes in and asks what am I doing in there so long.
Oh yeah, I told her a long time ago and she wants no part of it or me to have no part of it.
I have to be very careful.
I would love to be like so many members that have a relationship together.
Miss Vicki

[Celeste]

One of the members here used the word probe.I think this is your answer.How's he react to others alternative lifestyles? On other subjects ,is he closed minded? Mention that you once had a freind who dressed and that he was strait so that you can see how he reacts to it. Tell him that your parents brought you up to respect people for who they are not their sexual preference and see how he reacts to it. If you find something unfavorable while probing this may give you your answer.

[marykrissmithcd]

Let him bring it up first. I wouldn't push the issue with him. Act like he didn't see anything and if he asks you about it then be honest but let him make the first move. Ball, his court.

[Raychel]

My opinion for what it is worth. I would just let it pass. If he has questions he will ask you when the time is right.

[Janis Edwards]

Katty, I think I would let it pass for now. I think the fact that you know him so well that you would have or will notice a change in his behavior. If in fact he does act differently towards you then I think it would be best to confront him and get it off your shoulders. If he is the friend you believe he is, he should except you as Katty with open arms.

[carolinewalker_2000]

I think I would leave it this time as you are not sure whether he saw the website logo or not.

If you REALLY want to test out whether he would be sympathetic or not, you could try leaving the website up on the laptop - "accidentally on purpose" - when you are both moving around the room. That way he will have every chance to look at the site without immediately having to interact with you - (you might even go to the bathroom, leaving the laptop on.) You should then have a better opportunity to check his reaction and can either initiate a conversation or let it ride. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

It looks like the consensus is to let it go so I'll go the other way and say that if he is a true friend then you need not worry about how he will react. If you tell him your secret than look at how much more you can dress at home and not have to worry about getting caught. I for one wish that someone caught me when I was younger so I would have had to come out of the closet years ago.