Employment?

[Kimberley]

One of the big factors restraining me from proceding to physical transition is employment. Being in my mid 50's the options are extremely narrowed, particularly since like Karen I came from an industrial background.

Yes I have my current job teaching part time at the college, but I am confident that once transition became apparent, contracts would cease to be offered. I dont think that would be due to any kind of overt discrimination as much as having classes of trades apprentices (many who already know me) being taught by a t-girl. The effectiveness would likely go down.

So, how have others managed this type of obstacle?

[Sharon]

Simple -- I flipped out at work(bet they still talk about me there) and told my boss to take the job and (fill in the line yourself). :p

This was four years ago, and it was then that I decided to work for myself, and just a short four years later(knocking wood as I write this), I was actually making enough money to support myself. Having savings was a definite help.

Financial concerns and employment are huge factors for people considering transition. What I have learned, however, is that many companies are much more understanding than we would assume or give them credit for. I don't want to give you false hope, but it would seem to me that a typical college(assuming it isn't Liberty or Oral Roberts, that is) would be among the more liberal in their outlook. Is there a way to enquire about their policies without disclosing anything personal?

[Kimberley]

Thanks Sharon.

My last "job" I did pretty much the same thing only it was the company president doing the flip out and I just gathered my stuff and walked. I know they are still talking about my "departure" 5 years later. (I have students from there.)

As to the college. Well. They have a diversity policy of course. Geesh. They have policy on how to write policy. (No joke)

The last t-girl to come out found her contracts werent renewed which of course is quite legal if you dont have tenure and tough to prove in court. The one previous to her did have tenure but the Charter of Rights didnt specifically cover gender so after a court fight she proved unfair dismissal.

In my situation it is somewhat difficult to follow the previous career though, (trades and engineering) particularly with the downturn (decimation would be more accurate), of the auto industry.

I guess I am interested in how others have managed. Oh to be young and going through this at the beginning of a career. It would be so much easier.

So come on girls and guys. What about it?

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Leah B]

Oh to be young and going through this at the beginning of a career. It would be so much easier.


I think you're forgetting about the student loans, crappy wages, low job security, and lack of employment history. If it comes down to choosing between the straight dude and the tranny, who are they gonna hire?

[Kimberley]

Leah I understand your feelings; all too well. I think every one of us has been there so let me put it this way.

To establish a career, family and all that goes with it then to decide down the road, oh let's say mid to late thirties to transition. What will be the cost of doing so at that time?

Hon, I am looking at this from life experience. To transition young still allows you to make choices that will sustain your life. To do so when you are older presents a cost and insecurity that makes the young person starting out look pale.

The financial cost of transition if you go overseas is about the price of a new car give or take. The price of transition later is the cost of a new car plus your existing one, and house, pension and savings and possibly if not likely, your family.

That is why I made the statement I did. Most who know me here know I have a very strong social conscience and as part of that, I want to see the younger generations succeed. I think part of that is to look at our lives and try to avoid the mistakes we have made.

Making changes while young changes your whole life, making them when older often throws away a life.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Leah B]

I'm in-between. At 29, I'm no spring chicken, but I'm not middle-aged either. (Un)fortunately, I don't really have a career yet. It's the fear of being unable to establish that career at all that's tough.


The financial cost of transition if you go overseas is about the price of a new car give or take.

And on a middle-class income that's manageable. For me, right now, transition would cost me an entire year's salary. If I were to go full time, it'd be half a year's salary. My car is breaking down, and I'll probably have to replace it with an old used car. If we're talking SRS, I probably wouldn't be able to afford that until my late 30s or early 40s ... right where you are.

I'm not even sure where I'm going with the gender stuff right now anyway -- I may never have an operation, or even go full-time.

But yes, I'm glad I'm figuring this out young. I agree that transitionsing is harder the longer you wait (which may be why it all feels so urgent for me right now), but being young has its own whole set of problems. The anxiety of worrying that you may never be able to transition because you may never attain decent pay is one of them. For many of us, too, we don't have any savings to dip into... I spose it's not easy at ANY point in life beyond infancy.

[Kimberley]

Low income is always a problem for us or has been traditionally. It is a huge social problem within our community and often places us below the poverty line on any scale of measure. That of course can lead to other problems with health care, basic living etc.

I know that from my perspective my pdoc is huge on my being self sufficient before she will give any letters to go ahead. I may not agree with her but I do think she has a valid point especially when we consider the requirements of the HBSOC.

Each of us has to find our own way, in our own time but looking at others can certainly help and provide support.

:hugs:
Kimberley


Oh and 40? I cant remember that one...lol.

[Cathii]

If it comes down to choosing between the straight dude and the tranny, who are they gonna hire?

Well in my case, even though presenting boy at the interview I told the panel of interviewers of my intentions.... I got the the job. What it came down to in mycase was that the straight dude wasn't half as experienced as I was and was more likely to take any other job that came his way. I think they looked at me as a bit of a sure bet to hang around for at least 3-4 years over the transition and take the crappy wage they offered (I was earning double the amount in my previous job).

I also made the choice to apply for govt jobs that have a specific policy on gender and gender history.

BTW I am 37 and a programmer so no big issue there, all geeks are freaks as the saying goes.... but I started my working life as a diesel plant mechanic, so Kimberley I know only too well the issues in the trades.

If you don't feel secure enough in your job at the moment start looking elsewhere, its the only advise I could offer you.

Cathii

[Lanore]

I have to say I am blessed to be self-employed for almost 28 years. I have 2 businesses which I work by myself. My transition has been a life walk. All of my changes came slow, (maybe one faster than I expected) but know doubt accepted.

I have often thought of my transisition as a show window. You walk by that window every day. All of a sudden they change the whole display. That will catch your attention. But say, they only change one small thing. You'll take a look like you always do and probably never notice the change. That is how my life has been. Small changes over a period of time, each one having a part in who I am today. Nice post.

Lanore

[Cara Allen]

Simple -- I flipped out at work(bet they still talk about me there) and told my boss to take the job and (fill in the line yourself). :p

This was four years ago, and it was then that I decided to work for myself, and just a short four years later(knocking wood as I write this), I was actually making enough money to support myself. Having savings was a definite help.

Financial concerns and employment are huge factors for people considering transition. What I have learned, however, is that many companies are much more understanding than we would assume or give them credit for. I don't want to give you false hope, but it would seem to me that a typical college(assuming it isn't Liberty or Oral Roberts, that is) would be among the more liberal in their outlook. Is there a way to enquire about their policies without disclosing anything personal?

Talk about timing... I just had this conversation with my Gender Therapist yesterday! It seems that most large companies have HR departments, and they have a kind of ...separation from the rest of the company. Because of discrimination, etc., they remain covert about what they know. My clinic has a department that contacts employers, advises them of your condition, asks the firm if they want additional information or training. They will come in and spend time with bosses, etc. He says that most companies want to keep you if you have any usefulness, and that they are not concerned about your transition as much as they are about covering their asses from lawsuits. Different states have different laws....

However, I am thinking about changing careers anyway, as I don't know if I want to do this work as a woman (I sell contractors.) I have researched becoming a nurse! You can get a CNA (certified Nurses Assistant) position in about 6 months. The demand is high, and the pay is 30-40 grand a year. I can live on that, and I might even persue a higher level as I proceed.

All of this is up in the open, so far for me.

[Cai]

I'm not looking forward to planning out my transition with regards to employment either. I'm an undergrad junior right now, since I still rely on my parents for close to everything, I can't move forward yet. After graduation, I'm going to med school, to study pediatric oncology. Somewhere in there, I want a name change, and hormones (top surgery once I have a solid source of income). Essentially, I'll be physically transitioning while in medical school.

Ideally, I'd like to get my name change before graduation here, so that I'm George Cai all the way through med school and it'll be on my degree. Also ideally, I'd love to be passing 100% to my patients by the time I hit clinical rotations.

The problems with what I want to do are many. I want to work with children, and even if I go stealth (which I don't want to do) I'm still gay. While I wouldn't broadcast my orientation and history to my patients, there are parents who would find out and perhaps be upset with me being close to their children. That's a major part of the reason I don't want to go stealth - if I don't hide it, they can't expose me.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Cai,

I think that at your age and stage of development, planning on being "outed" some time in the future is an absurd worry. You will be able to change gender in the middle of school easily. Between grad school and med school would seem perfect. However, my advice to you now would be that you HAVE to come out to your parents. Tell them. Tell them NOW. You don't have to actually transition now, but you owe your parents all the time you can give them to get used to this. Tell them of your plans. Stay female through college if you feel you must, but tell your parents your feelings, the sooner the better. Let them get used to this idea slowly. I am speaking as a parent here, and I have children older than you are now.

I think there is NO better place to transition than college. There is good healthcare, there is a liberal and accepting outlook, and there is always a strong non-discrimination program in place. You will never find an easier environment in which to grow.

Good luck. I really envy your self awareness. When I was your age I was a mess.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Mariah]

College is a perfict time to transition. I'm 26 and glad that I desided to transition now. With Fed Aid and loans, I dont have to work at all (As long as I live a simple life like I do). it lets you to find out what you want and get the Degree and exp you need to get a good job as your self! and lot of bigger schools help with transition too. (and I work right now at a piss ass but interisting fun job too)

hopes
keris

[Cai]

Stephanie - My father knows, and while I'm not sure how much he actually understands, he's very accepting. My mother is going to be a whole other story. She's homophobic, xenophobic, and mildly racist - so you can imagine how open she is to change. And our relationship has deteriorated to a point where I'm not sure I owe her anything anymore. I know I'll have to tell her sometime before the name change; I'm just not looking forward to it.
I'm hoping to come out on campus to my friends in January, and officially (with regards to admin and faculty) next year. I'm pretty sure which people won't care and which ones I'll lose, and I think I'm okay with that.
Hearing you say that about my self-awareness makes me realize how far I've come. Thank you.

Jane - SRS during med school? Impressive. I was planning on waiting until I was out of med school to have top surgery, because of how long the pain would put me out of commission.

Keris - I'm so very glad I go to college where I do. While I don't know well enough to predict faculty reactions, there's one Dean who I'm 90% sure will support me. (She's a butch lesbian who supports all the GSA events on campus) I couldn't have picked a better place to transition. This is such a liberal campus, I have a suspicion that if the admin tried to give me flack the student body would back me up.

[Stormgirl]

I want to start transitioning as well however this is one of my largest fears. In my line of work, I could probably find a job very easy in the outside world unless I were to change to a woman.

Argh :drink:

[Cara Allen]

I'm not looking forward to planning out my transition with regards to employment either. I'm an undergrad junior right now, since I still rely on my parents for close to everything, I can't move forward yet. After graduation, I'm going to med school, to study pediatric oncology. Somewhere in there, I want a name change, and hormones (top surgery once I have a solid source of income). Essentially, I'll be physically transitioning while in medical school.

Ideally, I'd like to get my name change before graduation here, so that I'm George Cai all the way through med school and it'll be on my degree. Also ideally, I'd love to be passing 100% to my patients by the time I hit clinical rotations.

Wow! I thought I hade problems... Not to mention the cost of transition AND college! You sound like a nureturant person. Perdiatrics is perfect for you!


Cara

[Mariah]

hi24home: what school do you go to? I'm planing to move to another on, the one I go to is not the greatest school in the world.

hopes
keris

[Cai]

hi24home: what school do you go to? I'm planing to move to another on, the one I go to is not the greatest school in the world.

hopes
keris

I go to a women's college in southern PA. The full-time residents must be women, but the non-traditional students are both men and women.